Post 3756 reminds me of a TV advert for the Access card - Richard Attenborough and friends in an Indian restaurant trying to apportion the bill - strap line - "Now who had rice?"

TBT #3756,

How accurate a picture you present. One thing for sure Ksimboy would never have been around that table, they are discussing spending money on food, "on the ground" :eek:

Meanwhile, a request from my good friend and former GE T****r Tho***on. Doug, can you remember the free food in our hotel in Malaysia on our way to Australia all those years ago. He has convinced my SWMBO that she may have had more gold to dangle, had I not been distracted by the celebration of the first anniversary of the hotels opening. He is convinced that it was a real "route steal"!!!!

Smudge:ok:

Wasn't the phrase "eating's cheating" popular at some time? Thank goodness for free buffets at various happy hours around the globe.

I also recognise the term "non essential solids".

KL
 

Twas on our way back from Oz with an unusual crew of 1 Captain and 3 Co's. Despite advice from the Nav the Captain elected to fly through a Cb on final approach to Kuala Lumpur and demonstrated to the Co's the uneven combat between Albert and microburst heavy rain and turbulence. At the hotel a very stiff drink was required. Some of the crew decided to go sight seeing and souvenir hunting. One even obtained a "rocket polish" I believe.
The rest advanced on the bar for pre drinks and a debrief. I recall Mr. Bean on the telly in the bar and thought "how apposite". On emerging to go for a serious drink we were astonished to find the hotel staff as a "Lining Party" in full Malaysian costume applauding us and guiding us to the "Anniversary Reception".All cocktails and "hors d'oevres" free.
Well you just HAD to. We found a corner table out of direct line of sight and a waitress approached to take our orders. Red wine we said, and to save your pretty little feet could you just leave the bottle and some of its friends. Annie, the waitress thought this was hilarious and each time she came by it was to leave another half dozen bottles. "Are you eating?" she asked. "None of those egg rolls and stuff but the chicken legs, crispy duck and sliced beef would be nice. Er, just leave the tray." Three hours later, when the tourists came back, we were quite replete at no cost to the kitty.

Sounds familiar indeed Dougie, just as recounted by one T***er Th*****n, ex GE of this parish. Apparently, he talked me in to avoiding the shopping and staying with the freeloading party animals, led by yourself.

Smudge :ok:

Had the great pleasure of joining our mate Chickenlover on my first flight in 16 years, I honestly hadn't realised how the green machine had stoofed up a once major airfield.

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There's really something wrong with no Alberts on that pan !! The solar crap also is a "hazard to airmen"!

Smudge

The Old Station
 

Now that MOD Lyneham is to be completely "squaddified", the other Services having refused to move from their more modern comfortable bases. It transpires that the old Officers Mess will become the R.E.M.E. museum. No.1 son (ex R.E.M.E.) said "I'll show you round". Reply to son includes strong language. The fun will start when they start excavating the trials track for the tanks because as any fule kno the water table is a spit's depth below the surface.

EOG
 

Getting back to "Kitty Rules" we landed in Split to recover a body. Not a front line casualty but a reservist cook who died from a heart attack. The parade was the following morning so the crew was sent off down town to a pre glasnost flea pit called the Hotel Marjan. Matching brown wallpaper, curtains, towels and tapwater boded ill. It was then we discovered that the Croatian Kuna that very day had gone from lots per pound to eight.
Our redoubtable first officer stated that the best deal would be to pay everything from the imprest and sort it out later. The imprest then became the defacto kitty. We had a diminutive, irritating, bolshie, Scottish Loadie with us who said that he was entitled to a full dinner if he was on actuals. At a dockside café where the slight tang of untreated sewage wafted on the sea breeze, the rest of the crew nibbled on bread sticks while he ploughed his way triumphantly through his entitlement.
A very pleasant evening was then spent drinking pivo and plum brandy in a bar that once was Diocletian's palace whilst admiring the impossibly beautiful young Croatian women, all of whom chain smoked. Well the Bosnian War was not long over.
The next morning the hotel breakfast was a runny fried egg with a snotty white and a skin graft slice of "ham". More dried bread was the only alternative. Just before transport the Loadie arrived blending tastefully with the parchment décor. "Ah've been up aw night boakin' ma ring" he announced.
It would take a heart of stone not to smile at the sense of irony.
The kitty does not pay for food

Ha ha, spot on young Doug:ouch:

However, there were times when eating on the ground (EOG) was mandatory ! I think I posted the Northolt night stop, where the "chateaubriand" for two and the half lobster was greatly enjoyed, and presented the bean counters with a large, but legal, bill which could have been made much cheaper with a rate one, and our choice to drink rather than chew it. I would also refer you to the almost traditional crew kebab, on the way back from points east, when Akronelli was the last night stop. Ahh, such memories, I wonder if they still feature on the J fleet ?

Smudge :ok:

Re #3767
 

It seems that the Lloyds Bank car park has a new resident, and Bays 5-8 are not as accessible as before. I wonder how long it will be before visitors to the REME Museum start regaling the volunteers with stories of all the fun and games that went on under its roof? Who remembers that era in the mid-80s when the fun detectors shut the bar on Friday night between 7 and 7.30, and no grow-bags after 7.30 so the solution was an excellent follow-on party in the scruff's bar. Some very happy memories from those nights, and stories that need careful consideration before they are repeated!

Friday Nites @ Lyneham
 

Seem to remember post Happy Hour in late 80's, early 90's was off to the Trotting Horse for more quiet entertainment.
Also remember a Friday night with a co-pilot driving along the bund road on the grassy side of the bund to drinks at LXX & 47 - on return to O Mess took the direct route via football fields depositing the car in O Mess car park shrouded by the goal nets - seem to remember that it took some explanation the next day to keep out of the dwang.

Crikey old nav, what do you expect with a co pilot driving ?

Smudge :ok:

The Sports Field
 

After a particularly spectacular beer call on "Love and kisses" the boss (who was tall, dark haired and you never entrusted with the kitty) ordered us all back to the scruffs bar on foot across said fields to round off the evening. Himself being PMC at the time, there would obviously be no murmur of dissent from mess. It transpired that a young sergeant who had departed earlier from the crew room to "escort" an airperson of the WRAF persuasion back to Dakota block had succumbed to her charms at about the 22metre line on the rugby pitch. The horde of squadron members nearly trampled over the couple in the stygian darkness, the only light showing being over the main door of the O.M. "Sorry sir" mumbled the partially clad young man. "Carry on!" yodelled the boss as the mass trudged on, offering words of encouragement and comments on prowess. Why we never got a crew bus there, I'll never know.

You see, Smudge, what to us would be 'as black as a witch's t-t' is, in Officer-speak 'stygian darkness'.

Which just goes to prove that, in the early '70s, while you and I were dripping honest sweat in the Hydraulic Bay at Akrotiri, Dougie M was reading books - without pictures.

:)

I recall seeing one of Dougies books once. 3 of the pages weren't coloured in!!!!

Smujsmith: rest assured that the traditional crew kebab at Chris's or Polis is still a feature of a visit to Akrotiri. With a permanent C130 presence there on Op Shader it can get a little 'samey' for the crews so a kebab is kept as a rare 'treat' but for those in transit it's still somewhat 'de rigeur' especially if one's late arrival elicits a F95 to cover the expense. Not that much has changed, still Kokanelli delivered in plastic bottles, full or half kebab, all the salad you can eat, about the only thing that's changed over the decades is that it's priced in Euros now. The same twice round the clock knackered Mercedes taxis to whisk you to & from the block.

Funny how everyone has their 'own' kebab house. When posted to AKI in the early 80s my first night kebab intro was at Sylvanas, when it used to be half way down the strip, I think I went to the Swan a couple of times and have only eaten in Chris's and Polis once or twice. Same when I became aircrew. I must say though that as the years passed Greg and Georgina, who are still running the place, have become good friends so would feel disloyal to go elswhere. I have to admit to being Kebab Critical now though as I haven't had one for five years now, probably my longest stretch. :{

I remember the owner of Polis being really pleased one evening during the start of Op Granby. He had not long been open at that stage and figured it would have taken about a year to purchase a decent fridge, the increase in business, from Herc crews slipping, meant he managed it in the first month!

Chris Kebab
 

Having met Chris when he was a barman at the O.M. in Akrotiri I was well used to his sense of humour. He once claimed that another staff member "Crazy George" was dead. "Nasty accident, never see again."
On going through to the dining room there was George. "Chris said you were dead" I said. "Is lie" he replied "But I make you one good pair of shoes then I kill myself"
When Chris opened his kebab shop the crews could have a meal together and food fights sometimes broke out between crews after the first ten bottles of kokkinelli. "More yoghurt" we asked, and Chris appeared from behind the bar.
"Do you want the eating yoghurt or the throwing yoghurt" he said.


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