I used to like "Fision chips".

I'll get me coat.......

In The Gulf, supplementing in-flight rations with cooked crayfish tails at 1/6d each :ok:

I never managed to eat anything because I could never get into the individually cling filmed finger sarnies with my immersion gloves on! Mind you always quite liked the rat pack oatmeal block on exercises.

At Sunny Scampton in the late '70s, we had a certain allowance for catering dependent upon the assumed flight time. It was then up to individual crew members to decide how much to 'eat' pre-flight and how much during flight. Have a slap up pre-flight meal and you might be lucky to qualify for a packet of Polos in-flight, for example. It was the co-pilot's lot to carry the aluminium ration box out to the aircraft once the crew's order had been assembled. But if the trip was scrubbed, you had to return the rations...

You could always tell which crews would guess that their trip was going to be scrubbed as they tucked into steak, eggs and chips...

Although one Flt Cdr was rather less than impressed one day. After briefing he decided that he hadn't got time to have a pre-flight meal with his crew - his office work being so very important. "Just order me something for in-flight and I'll see you at the crew bus", he said. So they did - something like 6 x cheese and pickle sandwiches (which they knew he loathed!)....:eek:

On a Nimrod transit to the Med....
 

....it was possible with a bit forward planning, some groundcrew help at the galley table and some basic cooking skills to feed 26 people with sausage, bacon, fried egg, grilled tomato c/w orange juice, bread and butter and tea or coffee, inside an hour.

Or on a return transit from USA lobster/prawn starter, steak and garbage bag salad.
The latter was as described - iceberg lettuce (bang the stalk on the table and you can pull out the whole core)sliced. Sliced tomatoes and peppers and cucumber all put into one of the big black rubbish sacks. Tip in one of those Kraft triangular bottles of the dressing of choice, close the neck of the bag and give it all a good shake.
Steaks at one time were done in the "infrared grill" but as it vented into the underfloor bay a number of underfloor warnings and susequent panics led to doing them in the oven- seven at a time.
Easy once you've done it a few times.

The Ancient Mariner

On a Norway two day Jolly (Bodo) circa 1981, the knocker's (I was one back then) "cold war snack" in the local eatery came in at just under £1000...yep, we were on actuals, which was highly unusual back than as it was nearly always either rates, or **** all because you were on base.

Captain went mental...much good it did him :E

...incidentally OP, did your original question include the simulator? I take you all know that Nimrod crews got inflight rations - cold snacks AND sandwiches AND a hot meal - when doing 5 hour simulator trips.

Now you know how I earned my pseudonym ;)

It went on long after the cold war - I remember in the last 10 years coming back from Brunswick to ISK in 5 hours flat with a tailwind, and during the sortie the W/OP counted as Doddy munched 3700 calories (all after a monster brekky at the mess hall). And he didn't even go down the back once to make the tea!

I wonder what Doddy's pseudonym is on here?????;)

#28 perhaps ?

TOFO,

Then remember DECI, million Lira restaurant bills but a great currency to play poker in.

"Your 5 grand and up another 10!"; "How much is that to me?"; "About 2 quid!"

Marvellous times.

Ah Deci! What a place! Only time we ever got free wine with our meal in the mess!

Reci Ded! I'd hardly describe that as wine though. Awful stuff.

I remember going to a restaurant with our crews and looking at the prices and gulping, even after conversion I was still gulping when thinking how much I'd brought out with me, the boss was sitting next to me and said don't worry we will all split the bill, so the boss and myself had a stunning meal, the rest of the crew and engineers having seen the prices went cheap... At the end of the meal the boss stood up announced the best way to do this was pool the bills and split it.... Priceless, expensive come cheap meal :)

Still remember Deci Red bought in 5 litre plastic bottles behind the German bar. Needed to be mixed with something to water it down to a consumable level, paint stripper, thinners, trich, MEK, all come to mind as suitable mixers.

Ahh the famous single bottle of squash (of the dilutable variety) between 4 Phantoms heading out on detachment Down South.

I always found flakey pastry sausage rolls and oranges a particular challenge at 25000 feet. The sticky oxygen mask just didn't do it for me!

I recall complaining to OC Catering about the unsuitability of flaky sausage rolls in fighters and getting short shrift. I then used my prerogative as SFSO and complained to Harry Staish - result: proper sarnies (yay!)

wash yer mouth out...he's a mere yoof. I is old enuff to be is father.

****ing lightweight. That's a preflight snack, that is.

Poker in DECI, I wish. It was shoot pontoon (one tousand, two tousand, three tousand, bust) in Cagliari.

But yeah...epic, epic time of my life.

My most treasured meal was a "borrowed" US MRE during GW1. Corned beef hash, subtly heated to edible on the tail pipe of an Allison T56 on a desert strip was a real treat. I've struggled to say that babies heads was better, but I can't. MRE corned beef hash goes down as my number one.

Smudge:ok:

Better than babies heads! That's treason!


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I'm sorry ,compared to Compo, MRE's were vile. We found it handy to swop Compo for decent camp beds with the Americans ( remember those awful old U.K. contraptions, supported with what looked like wire coat hangers, that were a b8stard to assemble).