Stupid Android. Can't fault you Nutty, it was an LMG. Still called it the Bren though. Gave me something to talk about with my old man for a few months!


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Being told, 'You are posted to the Royal Air Force Liaison Party at Istres.'

The most satisfying was, 'Having succesfully completed the trials and introduction of the probe & drouge flight refuelling system 214 is now the RAF's 1st operational tanker Sqdn.' That day a lot of guys felt that a lot of work was suddenly appreciated. :ok:

The SLR didnt fit too well in the back of a Bulldog either LOL (dont ask ) but I managed it - it was worth the struggle to fly away from a Taceval and drink coffee in a Tower a few miles down the road :ok:

SLR with an LMG mag. Now there was a rifle!


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And add a match stick and you had a real winner :ok:

Being presented my (half) brevet having re branched from a ground branch and being told by the reviewing officer, who had approved the move 15 months earlier, 'welcome to the team'.

Having had a good think over the course of the weekend, a couple of other highlights, the biggest ones probably being my first tour in Baghdad and my first tour in Helmand. If you will excuse the ramblings of a rapidly aging fart, I'm going to pull up a sandbag.

My first tour in Baghdad in 2003 I was attached to V Corp US Army (don't ask how a Flt Lt got there, I'm still not entirely sure myself). There were a few Brits in the HQ and one day 3 of us were dragged into a huddle in the corner to be told - and I paraphrase - "there's a couple of UK vehicles not checked in en route to Taji (north of Baghdad) - go and make sure they aren't a smouldering wreck somewhere".

A lot of nervous looks later and we set of in our own Landrovers, fortunately, civilian V8s so they had a turn of speed about them. Drove up the MSR to Taji, having dodged the fuel tanker REVERSING back into the on coming traffic on the MSR, and got to Taji. No sign of any smouldering Landrovers, so we started to think the worst, until our phone kicked in and it was the occupants of the 'missing' vehicles. They had got lost and RTB'd and were now checking in - apologies for forgetting to do it sooner. Angry didn't begin to describe it, but hey ho, there we were just outside the MOB at Taji so figured we would pop in for a refuel and play it safe.

Whilst refueling, we were retasked - to this day, I'm convinced it was by 'an agency' to help get a couple of flatbeds back to Baghdad so they could go en route to Basrah. At this point Flt Lt Melchett is scratching his head and really wondering how on earth he got himself in to this, but they were awfully persuasive, so we agreed to help. Talk about being sold a pup - the couple of empty flat beds started breeding and rapidly turned into 8, of which if memory serves, at least 5 were carrying full containers. When we asked what the cargo was, we were told in a very matter of fact manner 10,000 AK-47s and just under 2 million rounds of 7.62.

The 4 of us looked at each other and not a single word was uttered. We instinctively knew this was a very bad idea. And there isn't a single bad idea that can't be made worse by it getting dark. Whilst speed had been our friend on the way up, having to escort these lumbering beasts back meant we were now tied to their speed - 60mph or there abouts. The personal radios we had weren't worth the plastic they were made from as we discovered had the range of my late grandmother carrying a heavy bag of shopping, so effectively we were slow and couldn't even talk to each other. But looking on the bright side, if anything did happen, we were unlikely to run out of ammo - just as long as we could break into one of the containers. And this is where I come to the best / worst part.

The worst part wasn't the nerve jangling drive back down the MSR to the centre of Baghdad, it was discovering when we checked back in with J2 that we had driven this convoy through an ambush that had destroyed a Bradley IFV and killed its occupants and damaged 2 others - it was apparently a big bang. J2 were keen to know if we had seen anything - we had - we saw the 3 Bradleys at a checkpoint on the way up and on the way back, so clearly, somebody had been sitting by the side of the road watching and waiting. To this day I still wonder if they had realised what we were carrying whether they would have pushed the button. That's one of the nine lives down at least. If Guardian Angels exist, then mine was working overtime that night!

Fast forward a month to R&R and my best mate and room mate from IOT met me at Brize with a cheery "hello mate, do you want to drive or shall I?" As we stopped for food about 30 mins up the road I noticed his vice like grip on the side of the seat as he turned round and said as calmly as he could - "I don't know how the hell you drive in Baghdad, but it is traditional in the UK to stop at traffic lights and roundabouts". I don't think I have laughed quite so hard either before or since - it was the perfect ice breaker and a brilliant example of military humour at its finest to defuse a situation.

If Baghdad was just one step away from insanity, then Helmand 2006 was the ultimate highlight. At that stage it wasn't nation building, stabilisation, or any of the other tree huggy political stuff we do these days. It was proper war fighting, with a free fire zone north of Highway 1 and not that far off shoot on sight in Musa Qala. In short, it was everything we join the military to do. It was proper, full on fighting, testing your professional and personal abilities to their absolute limits. It was a tour that turned boys into men and left me physically and emotionally exhausted by the time I got home. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Best story/entry/reply I've seen for a long time by a long shot.
Very glad those are your memories (not mine).
Very glad you got to have them ie still are around.
Very glad my best memories are (only) about flying.;)

Melchett,

The US Army was not having a go at you....really. They did such things to themselves....in multiple Wars.

Was handed a hand scribbled note with coordinates, call sign, and frequency...told take this load of cargo to that location.

Quick check of map....and well off the map into another country....which had just the day before became part of our Area of Operations. Quick check with the Ground Guys...."Well Yes! That is the right place....just go up the highway till you see the pretty Green Grass Sod Runway....you cannot miss it....really!".

Off we go in the Wokka....we pass over lots of US Armor, pass by Air Strikes going in.....detour around some Artillery Fires going in....and cross the Border and head on up that highway with no Map to help in the process.

We gets to said pretty green grassed sod runway....two Civilian Single Engine Airplanes setting on at the end nearest the town. Two Frenchmen it looked like...or Cubans....or Russians but definitely not ethnic locals. We considered landing to make inquiries.

Nothing seen of our guys...no Tanks, ACAV's....nothing.

Chinese Parliament.....and its off back to where we started from.

Mission Cancelled.

A couple of Years later....I read of one hell of a fight in that town and learn of many .51 Caliber Anti-Aircraft Emplacements all around that pretty green grassed sod runway. We are talking about several Tanks destroyed, ACAV's destroyed....Helicopters shot down....and the town destroyed in the fighting.

Yes.....there are Guardian Angels.....and mine must have a drinking problem caused by his riding with me in those years.

A guy named Franks who led VII Corps lost his leg in that fight.

And who went on to great things in both rank and the next war.

500N,

Seem to recall that match turned it from semi auto to full auto, not that I tried it. :{

Correct.

And the extra rounds from a Bren made it worth it.

Problem was the SLR was a bitch to fire on full auto for control reasons.

Talking about weapon recoil. I did managed to get a ticket to instruct cadets in full and small bore shooting and it was always good to see them do well.

One day caught a lad sticking his beret between the butt and his shoulder and told him that would make no difference if he pulled the rifle into his shoulder correctly. Nope he would not change his mind so rather than not let him shoot at all I let it stay. Lad fires his first round and screams blue murder afterwards. Checked his shoulder and there it was, a perfect imprint of his ATC cap badge in red skin. He chucked it way for his next pot.

Never fired a sten but remember someone saying a foot on the webbing helped to stop it becoming an anti aircraft weapon.

When I worked for the plod I did manage to get a few rounds down a range with an MP5, lovely although I did get my one and only misfire. Thought due to the cost saving practise of using reloads for range work. Didn't tell the Sgt I had most than just a little background and he was impressed that I got all rounds in the circle, so was I, had been some 12 years after I had used a Mk4.

LMG, never had the chance.

We did use the ranges at Bisley sometimes and could hear the Guards rattling away with them. Nice.

Sterling too

I could never understand why they never added something like a Cutts Compensator

Re SMG's (old one's, not the MP5), I always found a rally firm grip on the barrel cover, hold it down, aim slightly low and left of the target and fire a burst. The natural tendency of the SMG to lift to the right meant you stitched the target low left to high right.

They finally cured the tendency for the SMG (Sterling) to wander and made it into a true single hand weapon..

Here was the result :E

http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__...ingE11-MOM.jpg


http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__...torm-CHRON.jpg

Nutty ... Buster looks a little puffy around the eyes in that pic :ooh:

Best?
Too many different flavors.

Standing on the bridge during training exercise, I notice that our ship (CV-66) began a turn to starboard and no turn seen by escort (cruiser) close to us along the starboard.

I speak up.
"Officer of the watch, CBDR (constant bearing decreasing range) to contact off starboard quarter." He runs over, takes one look, and gets on the radio ... quick and concise call to them ... we see them turn.

Two weeks later, I find out that he credited me with avoiding the collision at sea. Nice of him, but IMO his quick thinking and comms to the cruiser is what averted a crash.

Flying:
So many, but I'll never forget one that happened years after.
In a serious meeting, late in my career, with a bunch of Navy, Air Force and Marines talking close air support and things to get better. A guy stands up, USMC F-18 pilot, walks over to me, grinning.
I recognize him ... man, it's been years!
We shake hands.
He tells about fifteen other aviators "Guys, this is the man who taught me how to fly. Without him, I'd not be here today." Wasn't expecting that. (He was one of the last guys I got through his solo during my flight instructor tour). It was one of the nicest things anyone ever said about me.

There were others, but I think the NDA is still active on most of them.

USS Tarawa pulls into Hong Kong....takes up a Mooring Buoy adjacent to the China Fleet Club. Me and the XO having a Cup of Coffee in his State Room....when is heard over the 1-MC...."Captain to the Bridge.....Captain to the Bridge!".

The Engines had been Rung Off, Port Watch Stations Set. Crew getting ready for Liberty.

XO drops his Cup...sez "Follow Me!"....and off like Hares we go to the Bridge and arrive just as does the Captain.

The newest Ensign aboard....who had the Watch...looks at the Captain and says...."The Morring Buoy has parted its Anchor Chain....we are underway without power and are drifting down on the Sterrett (Guided Missile Cruiser)...Engine Room is responding to Bells....I have given Helm Orders to maintain our heading!".

The Fantail Watch Stander on the Tarawa could have shaken Hands with the Bow Watch on the Sterrett....but the ships did not touch.

As the Skipper was stood there in his Y-Fronts and tee shirt....he probably could have used those infamous Brown Corduroy Trousers Sailors talk of so much.

Young Ensign rose to the occasion...did all the right things....saved his Captain's Career...and made himself a very good friend in the Skipper that day.

If you think Train Wrecks happen in Slow Motion....Ship Wrecks really take time!

I saw a Navy Captain contemplating life as a Retired Commander for a bit there that day.....even though it was not his fault what happened. At the time all he said was "Well Done! I have the Conn!".

I was once lit up by the Sterrett's fire control radar ... while I was delivering some material via VERTREP.
It was the CWIS.
Luckily, the firing key was not enabled. I promise you, it was a bit spooky to watch that little robot tracking me ... would have ended in tears were the key "on" versus "off."

My Officer in Charge had a quiet word with the XO of Sterrett the following day. Seems their pre-VERTREP checklist was not quite followed that day ... :eek:

Hehe, China Fleet Club/Hong Kong. Memories indeed! :ok:

I played the "Drunken Sailor" routine in Hong Kong a few times....and would have won an Oscar for my performance. Twas there doing Drug Suppression Operations in concert with the Hong Kong Police.

SaS
"I saw a Navy Captain contemplating life as a Retired Commander for a bit there that day.....even though it was not his fault what happened. At the time all he said was "Well Done! I have the Conn!"."

As they say "tea and medals" come later :O

I bet the Ensign got a good report out of that one !

If you're describing the 80's (84?) HK visit, SASless some of my colleagues were entertained very well on board, thank you (I was on duty so couldn't go) your "drunken sailor routine" probably caused little offence as US servicemen were conspicuously better behaved than our own. Around that time two (I'm not making this up) Scottish Squaddies nicked a rifle and tried to hijack a Cathay airliner at Kai Tak!

As for drug suppression, I remember well the exasperated fury of a Police colleague at that time having requested RN surveillance of a drug boat which they instead boarded and seized. Result ; two year investigation down tubes for three hapless deckhands

If you have any friends who were Hong Kong Police....ask them if they ever made a Liaison visit to Subic Bay. If they admit to it....tell them the Beer is on them or you will tell everyone about a place called Marilyn's II in Subic City and how much the British Hong Kong Police enjoyed the place.

Yes.....there is a story to be told.

In Court one morning in Hong Kong....elbow in my ribs....whispered in my ear..."I say Mate....it is the wee small brown chap in the Red Jumper!"....as I was supposed to Identify the Drug Dealer we had done a "Buy Bust" deal with in the early hours of the morning. I had long since ceased acting the "Drunken Sailor".

Whilst stationed in Omagh we taped two together.

Yes a Captain with the **/** a Geordie regiment did that. He and his guys were ambushed whilst performing a covert VCP in a transit van (acting like IRA) when they were jumped by the IRA. Said Captain emptied two mags on auto. The report was filed. Along with that and his idea and implementation of cementing two Z298 (? memory fails me if that is the right set, man pack radar with an acoustic warning) radars into the chimney's on the roof at Belcoo, and a couple of GPMG's with Chieftain solenoids, which were operated from the Ops room which I rigged up (he did kill a few cows btw), said GPMG's aimed across the border.Unfortunately prompted HQ at Lisburn to post him away from the regiment for being too aggressive and causing too much trouble. He was a soldier's soldier and a great officer.

Did a 2 year tour and 2x4 month ones over there.

The radar was the ZB298

Thanks made me remember Zebedee 298 I think we nicknamed it.