I forgot to add the Conscripts " Restaurant " at Jever, I use the word Restaurant in a sparing sense, love pickled cabbage and meatballs 24/7 and you had it made, otherwise avoid like the plague.




..

At the aircrew hotel USAF Rein-Main - their incomparable Hoagy (sp?) rolls. Hot roast beef in a long slightly crusty bun. ;)

Best - The Officers' Mess lunches at Cazaux in France, followed by a cup of coffee walking on the beach by the lake.:cool:
Worst - the canteen underneath the French MOD in Paris - mostly inedible slop, suprisingly.:yuk:

A good catering story was related to me by a work colleague who had been a captain in the army. Stationed, in the '60's, near Ipoh, Malaysia he was in charge of messing for the small unit
During the annual inspection by 'the brass' from Singapore he was asked how he sourced the fresh vegetables. ''Simple'', he replied, ''I give Wong, the Chinese cook 20 dollars, he goes off to market and buys them there.''
''What!'' Cried a staff officer, ''you give army funds to a native?''. ''In future your sergeant is carry out this purchase.''
Next morning the sergeant is duly dispatched to market with 20 dollars and returns with about one third of the quantity of veg Wong would had bought.
Next morning Wong is given 20 dollars....

After 6 weeks of 6 days a week Albert operations in GW1, the most beautiful breakfast above the planet, an ACC out of Akrotiri, homeward bound. After weeks of beef bacon etc getting back to a real meal was a bonus. Was an ACC available on all aircraft out of Akrotiri , Lyneham, Brize ?

Smudge

Trenchard Hall Officers' Mess was no better when I went through a few years later. It was run by Living Out Instructors (mainly Stackers) for their own benefit (certainly not for the benefit of the Living In Students)! It was, by far, the worst Mess I ever stayed in bar none.

Apparently it is now the Sgts' Mess at Cranwell.

ISTR that the Mess Manager was done for theft - basically pocketing catering funds and buying in food barely fit for human consumption.

I'll never forget a certain Ulsterman, G******y M*****h (who later went Helos) who used to get wound up over the 'Minute Steaks' (which were so bad you could have soled DMS boots with them). He had repeatedly complained about them in the Messing Suggestions Book and was repeatedly assured by the Messing Member that there was 'No Evidence' as to the in-edibility of said steaks.

One evening we came down to Dinner, the choice was Plaice Meuniere or Steak. I had fish, G ordered the steak. When it arrived he bit into it and almost immediately went bright red, with steam seemingly coming from his ears.

"Right!", he announced in his broad Ulster accent. He then stood up and marched out of the Dining Room with his plate.

We later found out he had stapled the offending steak into the Messing Suggestions Book with the immortal words: "Here's your bloody evidence!"


He ended up with a weeks Orderly Officer but it was worth it if only for the comedy value!


Best Mess for me was undoubtedly Lyneham - Thursdays they did Crepe Suzette flambeed at table.

Absolutley brilliant - I would like to buy that man a drink:D:D:D:D

Ah, Trenchard Hall OM! Bane of baby pilots arriving back at Cranwell.

Returning there after attending Happy Hour in York House Mess to be met by the PMC who wished to know why, as THOM was our mess, why we didn't go to Happy Hour there on a Friday instead. "Can we wear our flying suits?", "Er, no..". "well when we can, we'll come to Happy Hour".

Never did go, unsurprisingly.

Sorry, bit of thread drift there. Food was crap too.

When I became an Instructor at Cranditz (living in York House Mess), for a laugh a couple of us wandered down to T.H.O.M on a Friday for Happy Hour.

It was just as ****e in the late '90s as it had been in the '80s.

Bloody place should have been bulldozed!

Some good ones:

Crayfish Thermidor with Caesar salad, at Salalah in 1974. Only thing was you had to catch the crayfish yourself. We used to take a short wheelbase out to Raysut, snorkel and flippers and sharpened curtain rails until we had enough of the beasts to make it worthwhile.

Engineers' chips, Friday lunchtime, 1981/3, at Church Fenton. Proper chips they were.

Episkopi 1983/86 lived in MQ but ate in the mess from time to time, good food but not spectacular. The best was the Souvlakia and salad in pitta, from the stall in Dodge City.

Dining in night (1989) in the wooden Dad's Army mess at Blandford, fantastic grub. For the first and only time in my career I found that I had to ask the PMC to excuse me for a moment. When I returned to the table my chair had been replaced with a milk crate. Spent the rest of the meal with my chin about 1/2 inch above my plate,

Full English breakfast at Bentley Priory was a great experience when I stayed there in 1997.

Breakfast in the RAF Club is also way up there.

On the other hand, in 1970, we were off to stay at the USAF Academy, Colorado Springs, flying from Waddington in a Britannia, we eventually reached New York (Dulles), via Goose Bay, where we were issued with USAF in flight meals to keep us going to Colorado Springs. Words fail me, it wasn't just bad but I didn't have a tin opener with me!

Rgds SOS

I'm with Gericault. Spent a week at Cazaux doing some stuff. We arrived too late for dinner the first night so headed off to town. Well I just did not believe how many small legs some chickens had. A cross between a chicken and centipede. The rest of the week we ate like Lords in the mess. They put on a special bash for us the last lunch time which went on all afternoon.

The worst has got to have been some kind of Pie in the mess at Wyton. never did find out what was in it.

Lyenham was good. I lived in at Brize for a year. Cold Beef and chips with HP source did me at lunchtime back in 90s. I tried same a few year back it was bloody awful. Mac the knife had sliced the beef at some supermarket. The source was some terrible sachet.

Ahh, Baby's Heads...

Best from the 'larger' can as found in the 4 or 10 man rat packs (you got a much smaller one in the 24hr rat pack).

Place can (sealed) on it's end in a mess tin of boiling water, heat until the end 'pops' out. Then remove from the water, point in a safe direction (normally towards some poor unsuspecting victim) and pierce with a tool of choice... the marlin spike on a jacknife RE was pretty good...

Allow pressure to vent and then remove both ends of the tin. Now push the mess in the tin halfway out and using the end of the tin as a guide neatly slice in half and place it on the plate, open end up, push the remaining half out and place on plate in a similar manner. Dress it appropriately with ketchup.

It looks just like a sliced open baby's head, even better with ketchup dripping down the side ;) hence the name.


Also good was the stewed steak, I used to make a brill cottage pie with it when out sailing, served up piping hot at midnight, kept the cold out and the duty watch awake.

Ahh Sapper,

Obviously a chef of High caliber. I wish I'd been in service with you !!!!

Smudge:ok:

Tops - Bacon (with hint of fish 'cos that is what the pigs were fed on!) and Halloumi cheese roll in Lady Ell's, Akrotiri. Great for the hangover. The lunchtime salad buffet in the OM there was also a treat (while it was under RAF catering supervision that is). Plus of course any food from the Inflight supplies after hours of chucking buoys into launchers while the nav attempted to empty them just as fast!

GW1, Saudi Arabia:

Christmas Day, 1990, after planning solidly for 3 weeks, decide we will have a 'run ashore' for a Christmas Lunch. Drove 40 miles to the nearest town, Dammam, to find it closed! Eventually find the only cafe open in town, a taxi-driver's greasy spoon. With very low expectations, we went in.

My Army colleague, in his best Arabic, ordered 4 cokes and 4 kebabs. While waiting, we noted the less-than-clean taxi drivers wolfing down their food, throwing chicken bones over their shoulders. Expectations lowered further.

The meal arrived over the next hour. A starter of soup (some sort of delicious broth), main course of a large roast chicken with lashing of vegetables each, unlimited glasses of coke, finished off with home-made biscuits and sweet tea. All superb. The bill came to the equivalent of £6.

A most unusual, but surprisingly good, Christmas Lunch, and a welcome change from the appalling MREs we normally had.

Hi guys and gals. I've just had a brain burp about stuff I must have forgotten years ago but now comes to mind (that's what PPrune does to you).

Leuchars - 1976. I worked in the mechanical engineering and supply centre (MESC) along with my supply oppos and the rigger Flight Sgt and the Rolls Royce rep (Br*** E****) .

I wonder what they call the MESC now (the building is still there on Google Earth).

OC SCAF had an office just down the corridor, he had a place in Guardbridge and invited me and my fiancée for dinner.

It was the best Italian meal cooked by an Englishman that I can remember. Very simple; tomatoes, onion, garlic (and more garlic), oregano, veal meat balls, fresh pasta (fusilli IIRC, from a deli in St Andrews) and then Tiramisu (I Know Tiramisu is old hat these days but in 1976 in Scotland it was cutting edge and it was delicious).

But later, in late spring the boys and girls from the Survival Equipment Section organized a barbecue. There was a clearing by the Tentsmuir sands and we had to transport ourselves and all the gear (including disco kit) through the Tentsmuir forest to the clearing by the beach.

Set everything up and got on with the party. 37 years later, I still remember that evening - the food was fantastic the camaraderie was intense and mucking about on the beach was so much fun.

Rgds SOS

Red Flag - Nellis 'Killer' Burrito for breakfast between brief and 'step'...You can figure whether it was the best or worst feed!...it is all a function of what time you retired on the night prior and whether there was food involved in the preceding 12 hours!

On exercise when we had no milk. Catering made their own by diluting a can of evap with water. :uhoh:

I also recall at Leuchars in the mid 70s, a huge menu made up of sausage. Grilled sausage, fried, braised, toad in the hole etc. You couldn't complain that we weren't given a choice.

But a mess curry, always something to be enjoyed.

Saintsman ... At Stanley in 83, the ATCOs established a relationship with the officers on the floating fridge (the Blue Star refrigerated supply ship) and were able to acquire slabs of long-life milk which were technically time-expired and thus untouchable by the caterers. Accordingly, ATC had perfectly serviceable milk, whilst others used Compo.

Quite stimulating climbing the Jacobs Ladder down the side of a bloody great ship with a 24-pint slab tucked under your arm, before getting into an RM fast-thing back to the jetty!!

When I joined the green lot us youngsters had a full cream milk allowance.

And one camp we got to talking in the pub with a local farmer about it and the fact that we never got it, next day he turned up with 200ltrs of chilled unpasteurised milk. Which tasted lovely.

As he did every day for 4 weeks. We were drinking a pint of it with every meal youngster or not.

We thought this was particularly nice of the bloke until one of the farming lads just laughed and said its spring he will be saving himself a fortune in over quota fines.

To be honest anything they fed us that camp was the best food ever. Its amazing how many fussy eaters (myself included) changed what they would and wouldn't eat getting up at 5am every day and not stopping moving until 6pm you could have told me we were eating horse meat and brussel sprout stew and I would have turned up with my mess tin lined with bread and eaten the lot and kept my eye out for seconds.