Lyneham - 1980s

Shift was deployed to act as reinforcements for the MAMS teams deployed forward. We ended up in the woods behind the tower at Kemble. Basically it was a test to see if we could be prepped and ready to go at short notice. We had been told that we wouldn't be bothered there. That wasn't good enough for our Sgt (Tony S**) who made us dig in and stand guard just in case.....no weapons no nothing. It took a long time but he was finally persuaded not to dig small trenches and line then with punji sticks as defences.

------------

Another Minival in Sep 88 and I was sent from Shift at Lyenham to reforce Gib Movs (they weren't playing though) along with Tony and another SAC. Got there to be told "no idea why you're here, see you in 4 days for your flight home". Sat on the beach at Catalan Bay drinking cold beer thinking of the chaos back and base (OK the last part about thinking isn't true)

At the Yorkshire home of the tin-triangle, party/get together in one of the quarters, all going exceedingly well and the lethal home-brew going down a treat. Mine Host shouts "Hey! I've got a recording of a Lightning doing a reheat flypast, I'll play it!".

Now Mine Host had invested in a v. expensive hi-fi outfit and wanted to see/hear what it was like at max chat. By now it was about 0100hrs.

The Lightning duly performed and entered through the French Windows and departed via the dining room, and again, and again, to get the full effect you understand!

Everyone was very impressed and the party continued, once the audience had recovered their hearing! Door bell rings and is hammered open - there, standing on the threshold in a wild assortment of uniform/jimjams/flying kit is next door neighbour* ... "You */-+%*&^%$£!s, I thought the siren had gone and I'd missed it ... I've just been up to the Squadron!!!" We mollified him with the home-brew :E

* He'd excused himself from the hooley on account of a cold!

Harrier camping holiday at sunny Sennelager, twixt MINIVAL and MAXIVAL. A bunch of us sat around bemoaning the paucity of blank ammunition (5 rounds per foxhole and 10 for the GPMG).

Mate mentions he has a brother-in-law serving with some donkey walloper mob up the road at Detmold so we trundle off in the 4 Tonner for a liaison visit. A few calls later and we meet a chap who says he can let us have 10 boxes. Result, we think, assuming 20 rounds per box.

Imagine our surprise and delight when confronted with 10 wooden cases (1000 rounds per case). Needless to say that at the subsequent MAXIVAL the attacking force was a little taken aback by the robust defensive fire.

An aerodrome somewhere in Eastern England. Early morning and the Distaff announce an exercise inject - an aircraft has just pranged on the runway and the aerodrome is now Black.

"Ah - that old one", announces the duty grown-up, "No problem, we'll use the CPX Coles crane. Soon have it sorted!".

"Will you indeed", replies the Distaff chap.....

At which point a phone rings... "Sir, there's something on the runway!".

'Something' turned out to be an old Canberra fuselage full of concrete. No CPX Coles crane in the world was going to shift that, so the Distaff watch with much amusement whilst someone tries to find Cranes, Coles, x 1 plus Cranes, Coles, Driver x 1.......

They did eventually shift it, but learned a hard lesson!

I remember that one November 4.
Lyneham '85 was my last summer camp with the cadets before I joined up. As I recall (and I barely do) we were warned about over zealous staff before our exercise.
Mind you. something niggling keeps telling me it was Big H the year before but I can barely remember what I had for breakfast these days.

Thoroughly enjoying this thread. As someone who came in at the end of the cold war Taceval was as close as I got to the action. Great, easy times on the MDF at the Scottish fighter base, loads of blanks and thunderflashes. Tearing around in cut down lard drovers ambushing and more frequently, getting ambushed. We really were crap! Still cherish the memory of the time the intruding force attacked a sanger which faced onto the public road dividing the camp just as we happened to be close.
We lined the 'berm' along the perimeter wire and absolutely blasted them as they went past until an umpire called it off "I think you got 'em!".
A rare victory.

Tash,

Sorry to hear of injuries to ATC lads at Lyneham. I would have been there at the time, and have no memory of anyone being "hyper enthusiastic" about their attempts at defending, certainly from an engineers point of view. The one thing that always struck me about any exercise was the old saying " Hours of boredom, interspersed with a few minutes of excitement.

To that end, many Tacevals, Minivals and a few other vals, usually followed a similar scenario during the "cold war";

1. Get everyone on base, give them guarding duties and start a war scenario.

2. Depending on length of exercise, keep them going with guarding, Battle Damage repair and runway/airfield clearance.

3. Blow the hooter, announce imminent arrival of fallout and put all in to shelter posture, rubber faces on. This usually meant saving a bundle on feeding people.

4. After a proportionate time, announce endex so all can be on shift as usual, at earliest opportunity.

It's no surprise that many, and lets appreciate most intelligent and educated Aircrew, Groundcrew and other personnel (at least the Groundcrew and other personnel :eek:) would be easily bored by this. Thus,across the RAF, exercise was often accompanied by a certain, stretching of the rules, pushing of the boundaries or just breaking the rules. None of it usually hurt anyone and possibly made the whole experience a bit more palatable. But then, that's only my opinion.

Smudge :ok:

Vortex,

On our OSD Exercise....we Weekend Warriors discovered the Regular Army's Supply Point for things that merely go "Bang!"....and in the dead of night....loaded up a Five Tonner with all manner of fun stuff to include lots of Tear Gas Grenades (White Chemical Smoke-CS) as I recall. The Script called for us to be gassed one time during the exercise....upon getting dosed the third time....we paid the 1st Air Cav a visit with our Hueys in the middle of the night.....and again at breakfast.....and lunch.

In keeping with the spirit of the war game.....and in complete ignorance of the Script....we also went around one night and placed placards on every single one of their aircraft warning of Contaminated Fuel.....done by injection of water in the fuel tanks so the Placard warned. No water added....but it took them a while to confirm that.

A few nights later we turned all the Battery switches on for them......which delayed their take offs the next day.

All of the pilots in my unit were combat veterans less the Commander. One fellow had been a Navy Pilot who had dropped a bomb down the funnel of a Japanese Destroyer in Kure Harbor during WWII.

SASless: the old adage of 'old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill' still applies today as well.

SAS

You not been fair and playing by rules..............:E

Oh wait in war nobody plays by rules and those who survive are those who adapt.

Those who adapt, survive and lose the least are often called the winners, but history is slow, often it takes decades to decide who really won.

Amongst the fun and games....we added some pranks too.

A fellow who shall remain nameless...who wound up a Senior Training Captain for a small US Airline with a major hub in Charlotte, NC....who was probably the finest Pilot I ever met...in all regards.....saw fit to murder me one morning over a fit of youthful exuberance.

Camp Swampy (Fort Stewart, GA) in August is a miserable place....it is a miserable place anytime but August is the acme of misery for there.

We had just finished one of those wonderful Military exercises....the one where all the Tents had just been erected in an open area inches above water level after a midnight move....when some senior staff weenie from Division wandered by and had a conniption fit because the Tents were in the open and not tactically dispersed....and orders were issued to move the Tents into the woods....in an area that would approach water level or lower.

We accomplished that with more than a bit of effort, sweat, mozzies, chigger bites, blisters, and aching backs and sore fingers. Thus....making the Colonel a much happier fellow.

My Hero....having changed his sopping wet uniform and muddy boots for a Whore's Bath and clean Boxers....did what Soldiers are best at.....checking eyelids for light leaks.

He retired to his slowly sinking wooden cot and Mozzie Net....and got stuck into his eyelid inspection.

Seeing him in his slumbers.....gently snoring away dreaming of his Model A Antique cars.....temptation got the best of me. I primed a Hand Grenade Simulator and gently laid it at the foot of his Cot and stepped away to watch his reaction to such stimuli.

Laddy had two combat tours in Vietnam and evidently still retained a bit of baggage from those days.....cause as he awoke with a bit of a start from the explosion of the Grenade Simulator.....he came to a high hover over the Cot, got immeshed in the Mozzie Net, then wound up standing in the middle of what was left of the Cot...having both feet well into Mud and the Cot up around his waist. He then beat a very hasty escape into the deeper swamp to finally realize where he was and discern there was no need to escape and evade.

When he did finally tweak to what and more appropriately....who had caused his sudden consciousness.....he had Murder in his eye. Had he not been encumbered by the Cot and Mozzie Net....I would not be here relating this tale.

Archie was not amused!

SaSless

You would have been fun to have in a unit :ok:

Dau, trainee Aux Rock, section v section attack. Her section snuck up on opposing section that was fast asleep and removed a vital piece of each SA80.
Section retired a safe distance and then went noisy. Their instructor also set off a thunderflash in nearby tree.

On awaking their SA80s disassembled and the tree caught fire:)

Asked to take my squad of highly trained killers/bored techies to recapture a sanger I carried out a textbook night approach and attack. Surprisingly the sangar was empty but I was feeling a bit proud of the boys.

Umpire: 'Very good job on all fronts except for one tiny detail'

Me: 'Wassat umpire person?'

Umpire: 'Wrong sangar'.

They were obsessed with bloody detail those guys.

As everyone here will recall, there are 2 "Exercise Wars" … the no-notice one and the planned one :cool:

So, just for a change, during that period of uncertainty before the Part II (starting some 6-8 weeks ahead of the general date when the Ex was expected) occasional signals started dropping into Ops. Little things like a minor, and discreet, ramping up of Alert States, as "War" seemed more and more inevitable. :hmm:

With a couple of weeks to go to Startex, the station DISTAFF starting wandering around and asking a few questions here and there. We knew the answer already, of course. Ops had done nothing/zero/nada/zilch about telling the rest of the station that the Alert State had gone up a couple of notches, and that certain TTW actions (iaw STCAPS) should be implemented. Indeed, it was subsequently discovered that there was no procedure/SOP for a discreet TTW - it was either sound the horns, or do nothing!! A gentle word in the ear elicited the necessary communications to Officers Commanding Wings and Squadrons, so that there would be less of a flap getting things done when the horn went.

It was during this "Phoney War" period that we had the defecting aircraft. A more logical time to hold that traditional event, rather in the middle of the Big Shooting Match. The Canberra did a lovely job, as always - played their parts beautifully, and the Station handled it well too. Up to a point. The Canberra contained a Nav Bag containing maps with the routes and timings for Air Raids on Day One of the Part II. Nobody took any notice of the significance of the date on those documents, or do anything other than return the bag when the event was over. "You can lead a horse to water … "

And then there was the chap that thought it was a good idea to rob the bank on station in Germany, done during an NBC phase, he walks in with mask on, points gun at staff, fills pockets and respirator sack with dosh and then departs to blend in with everyone else carrying a musket and wearing NBC kit and Respirators....... The perfect crime..

His one failing, he never removed his name tape off the pocket on his NBC suit... :}

Off topic....

A similar thing happened in Bristol a couple of years ago....Bloke breaks into a covert capture car and nicks the SatNav. CCTV captures his image. Not difficult to track down as the video shows he has a tattoo on his neck....name and date of birth!

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/...v_1005421c.jpg

A policeman once told me "luckily criminals are stupid or we would never catch them"

Back to topic...

Took them three weeks to lock him up though!




Posted from Pprune.org App for Android

Early in Gulf War 1. Scud alert called, so we all poke off to the glass-walled air raid shelter (really) in the bowels of KKIA. Thunderous boom as Patriot launches....shortly frightens one of Uncle Saddam's rockets sufficiently for it to fall to bits. Eventually we get the All Clear and return to planning our mission.

Arriving back in the Ops area, I spot what is probably the only person in Saudi Arabia wearing RAF blue; naturally he looks rather sheepish. I couldn't resist it "Ah, hello mate! You must be the Distaff, what time's ENDEX?".

He looked even more peeved.....:\

During another Scud alert, I am perched on the porcelain throne. After the Scud is intercepted, someone parks too close to a CAM detector, leaving the vehicle engine running. CAM duly goes nuts.....

Thunderous banging on the door.."They think it might be NBC Black!!".

To which I replied "Well, it's certainly Black in here!"

Fortunately it was a false alarm. After which less trust is placed in technology and a brace of canaries are acquired, which spend the rest of the war tweeting happily away in their cage.

Gerbils are more interesting, as noted up-thread. Depends on the food supplies, I guess :cool:

I was told never to trust a canary during wartime - apparently they are yellow!:rolleyes: