| Agaricus bisporus |
3rd Nov 2012 01:05 |
Clearly an RAF machine, that one. If it were Navy the monkey would be driving a barrow full of workmen...oops - lumpy jumpers
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Rigga, your wish is my command!
Introducing the Barrow MR1 (sometime in the '80s)
http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/c...tograph_02.jpg
Development problems of this solid and pre industrial revolution design are ongoing despite £40Bn spend to date as the machine's seakeeping abilities in this configuration are less than ideal and the personnel tend to fall out. Another £12Bn is required to invert the design. Unfortunately this will require a complete redesign of the ground mobility system, tenders have been requested for this work and at present no figures are available. However the electronics (Maplin walkie talkie) costing £20Bn have been unexpectedly damaged by salt water in the current configuration and require an upgrade (12Bn) to instal them in ziplock bags which won't be necessary when the invert is completed but no one has thought to cancel the mod.
Weapons suite, the Harpoon AS Mk1 (A Stick) is still years from service and the Barrow MR1 will have to make do with throwing insults (f.o.c.) for the forseeable future. Future plans to provide the stick with a sharpened point (£5Bn) have been rejected by the Government as unnecessary and too costly.
http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/c.../sealegs-2.jpg
Twenty years and £200Bn later the Barrow MRa Mk4 was rolled out. It was the most advanced and most expensive Barrow of its type in the world. Despite the classification Barrow it was really a dumper truck yet inexplicably made of delicate rubber instead of the more conventional metal which severely limited it's functionality. Its radios were too complex even for the monkeys to understand (see post above) and anyway could not receive Radio 4 on Long Wave due to poorly drafted specs and continuous changes to them during development. It is envisaged that a mid life upgrade will enable parts of a long-cancelled gramophone project to be grafted into the system to regain full functionality (£150Bn). But all radio will be DAB 5 years before that happens and as the contracts are on a cost plus basis it is cheaper and clearly far more sensible just to scrap the whole damn thing and give up boating altogether. |
