Guidance for those reaching Age 55
 

I was recently sent the following guidance for those reaching Age 55.
For those of advanced years, statements shown below should be able to help identify that you are due a last tour of duty.

When obscure form numbers like 1369, 6442 and 252 could mean career-changing moments.

When you remember bizarre uniform items such as the thunderbird jacket and the flasher mac

When you remember the glorious anonymity of JTs, SACs and LACs before they introduced rank slides for airmen

When colleagues were posted to RAF stations that nobody knew existed (eg ‘Machrihanish? Never heard of it – are you sure it’s not a wind-up?’)

When the ’back of the bike sheds’ was considered an appropriate location for career counselling.

When wearing medals was considered the particular right of the lucky few silver jubilee recipients or the handful from the South Atlantic.

When OOA tours meant 4 months limited to communication by ambiguous means such as ASMA, the bluey or a cable and wireless phone card.

When the question ‘Where the hell is Decimomannu?’ at least stood a remote chance of being answered.

When crewrooms were occupied and people partook of unintelligible games like Uckers and ‘Hunt’

When an RAF aircraft recognition poster was larger than A4 size

When you remember curious anomalies such as male only stations (eg Wattisham)

When anything Soviet was ‘bad’ and anything NATO was ‘good’

When you drove around with BFG plates

When you witnessed a survival scramble or spent some time in an HPS.

When you remember QRA that involved ‘instant sunshine’ and the ‘two-man principle’ in the ‘no-lone zone’

When your NBC suit came with a detachable hood.

When being issued with DPM kit seemed quite exciting.

When Friday lunchtime (afternoon) was spent in the pub (in uniform)

When one enjoyed the pleasures of six-pint standby

When doughnuts on day 3 or 4 of an exercise had particular significance

When ‘AOC’s’ meant an enormous parade (and if you were lucky enough to be at Lossie, repeated 3 times)

When the GD branch pretty much meant you could do anything – including OC Admin’s job.

When some lucky people had the pleasure of being recruited as FLMs and TAGs.

When you had access to a variety of personal weapons that seemed to have come out of Battle Picture Library (303, SLR, SMG etc)

Huh? Male only? When I was at RAF Wattisham, some of the most delightful young ladies I've ever known in the RAF were stationed there.

Unfortunately, so was one who later became known as Mrs. Doubtfire.......:\

Anyway, what about:

The pre-'dial-a-mate' phone system

Blue L a n d R o v e r s (sorry about the spacing - there's some stupid PPRuNery without it)

Red fire engines

MT Zephyrs and Standard Vanguards

Shreddies

Proper batmen

'Cabbage kit' was rarely to be seen

Civvies were rarely to be seen

When RAF aircraft still flew in the UK at Abingdon, Acklington, Andover, Aston Down, Ballykelly, Bassingbourn, Bentwaters, Bicester, Biggin Hill, Binbrook, Bovingdon, Brawdy, Chivenor, Church Fenton, Coltishall, Cottesmore, Cranwell North, Driffield, Elvington, Finningley, Fulbeck, Gaydon, Gravely, Greenham Common, Hamble, Honington, Hullavington, Kemble, Kinloss, Leconfield, Leuchars, Lindholme, Little Rissington, Lyneham, Machrihanish, Manby, Newton, North Luffenham, North Weald, Oakington, Ouston, Pershore, Scampton, Spitalgate, St Athan, St Davids, St Mawgan, Stradishall, Strubby, Swinderby, Syerston, Tangmere, Ternhill, Thorney Island, Waterbeach, Wattisham, Watton, West Malling, West Raynham, White Waltham and Wittering - and a few more places I've probably forgotten.

3 x Get you home (where-ever home was that day) a year.
Being sick got a same day med appointment.
Ditto Dental.
Malcom Clubs.
NAAFI wagons.
Male & Female accomodation the other side of imaginary wire.
wailing minis.
MT fleets of British built vehicles.
Wearing Gas Masks for hours at a time.
An MoD civilian being a very rare breed indeed.
Blue uniforms.

Baby's heads, being scared of rock apes, personal dosiemeter cards, itchy blankets, cheap beer in a busy NAFFI, decent rates, turning up to work still pished, 1.5 mile runs. Ahh the good old days!

Mod Plods
Stations without fences
Doing Fire Bucket duty
The tiniest sliding windows in Guardrooms
Tin Helmets

MT specially fitted with no radio...

Puma helicopters specially fitted with no ILS...

Seeing plumbers running and thinking "hope it's the NAAFI wagon"

Seeing aircrew running, and KNOWING it was the NAAFI wagon!! :)

You guys have such rose tints to your bifocals!

Just think, the modern RAF has state of the art aircraft like VC10, TriStar and the brand new C130J. Fighters like Typhoon that singlehandedly provided simultaneous air cover for Libya, Falklands and the RAF News. Shiney new helicopters like Sea King and Puma, not to mention the brand new Merlin.

We've got rid of many costly people in handbrake house and we've got this amazing self-service system called JPA. We've got a much more efficient system in the messes: pay as you dine.

We've got rid of unnecessary basing and housing, now we've got Super Bases like Brize. We don't put you in damp quarters any more, you can live in lovely private accommodation.

We've paid you so much over the last few years, we've even had to freeze your pay and cut expenses so the rest of the world can catch up!

So come on chaps! Get down to your high street optician*. You can see its far better now!

* trademarks omitted

Nurse, Farfrompuken has been at the medicine cabinet again......

When your whole world could be put into a couple of scrawny lockers and your bed looked like this during daylight hours.

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...Quu8l7lm70eeCQ

And then a nice corporal would come along and want to see what you had - all tidy like.

http://i695.photobucket.com/albums/v...0/DSC00454.jpg

What's that HEATER doing there?

If the water in the fire bucket isn't frozen, the room is too hot!

Sisemen

Photo 2, that bed is far too saggy in the middle (too many pies?) and the kitbag needs a good ironing.
We couldn't take photos due to the reflection off the shiny lino floor around the bedspace.

Sisemen

What's the deal with fancy curtains in photo 1 ???

Nothing wrong with having a tidy bedroom. Mrs C makes me lay out my kit every morning. But that's another story.

Petrol coupons
SDOs AND OOs.
Shirts that were tailored (probably wouldn't want that now :) )
Chinagraphs
North Luffenham AMTC combined with Ruddles beer.
MT drivers
Sgts' Mess exchange drinks which rolled directly (ie do not go to bed) into Taceval.
A sense of Fun.

Pickaxe handles to fight off the Commies
Comcen operators who knew everyone on the Stn
Singing in the bar
SACWs who could write backwards on glass walls
Thinking SAMA was neat 'cause it could tell you your leave balance
No bl00dy emails
Starting night shift at 4pm, finishing at 8pm.
Starting night shift at 4pm, finishing at 8am!
Having the choice between a tech charge and a 'quiet word' with the FS
Stn workshops who could make anything for a crate of beer.
The knowledge that we really were defending the country

What memories my favourites!
 

The Blue RAF Kit bag - as a single Man your hold world had to fit in it and if you were posted and dared to own more the bizarre method of moving your personal effects via MT from Church Fenton to Valley
When the goblin teas made at Finingley made waking up sooo much nice
Tea and Toast in the Officers mess at 4pm or was it five - obviously meant for blunties as you couldn't sit in the anti room in your flying suit- of course tea and toast at 4pm was before a three course dinner with cheese and bikkies and having had a full English breakfast, three course lunch as part of your 8000 calorie day.
Or getting a goodie bag on Taceval and eating it all after the first wave and being hungry all day
Happy days

DM11 to the £!