- See! See! I TOLD you it was 'software by Airbus'...................

Software by "the lowest bidder"

This situation (wrt the software) is what you get when an engineer says "ok, what happens when....."
the manager above doesn't know and says it can't happen like that....
This is passed up the chain as Gospel and you end up with

Whisky on the rocks

Oh well, never mind.

She/it, is it really that important? It's a machine therefore it's an "it", RN traditions not withstanding.

I thought I'd offer a couple of suggestions for you to pass onto those who know:

1) During trials, if Astute is unwieldy and cumbersome, please do not sail within 500 yds of shallow water unless a tug is in attendance, where shallow is 8 fathoms or less beneath the keel at low water. This should apply particularly when others are observing.

2) If there is any risk of going aground for whatever reason, please arrange for this to occur out of sight of anyone, particularly the press.

That should fix it :ok:

Like Lord Howe Island, now that should be OK.

BTW. If you are still looking for an aviation equivalent. Don't forget it (modern naval parlance) was on the roof (surface) not submerged so I would sugest it's a bit like an aeroplane sticking a wheel in to the grass when taxiing. The aeroplane, if a large jet transport, would be stuck for about half a day as well, I expect. :bored:

"Oh bugger. No, not you this time, snotty, I really mean 'bugger it'! Number One, sound 'Action Stations Reboot'!!"

(Cue various Nelsonian whistles, bells, 'pipes' and other matelot noises)

"D'ya hear there. Action Stations Reboot! I say again, Action Stations Reboot!"

"Coxswain, go to 'CTRL+ALT+DEL', if you please!"

"Aye aye, sir"

Click, click, pause.....
Pause....

Pause.......

"Coxswain, what's happening?"

"It's saving your...I mean 'our' settings, sir"

"Yes, yes - but when will you be able to steer the sodding boat again?"

"Err, um....it says 'Enter Password', sir!"

"Well, make it so!"

"But what's the password, sir?"

"Err, well, I have half of it, the Captain has the other half"

"Could you enter it then, please sir, because the water under the keel reading seems to be decreasing....."

"Right. It's November, Echo, Lima.....Captain, could you enter yours?"

"Hmm? Oh, OK. Sierra, November, Oscar...bugger!"
"Yes sir?"

"NOT YOU, snotty! Well, not until later..."

"Try again, please sirs, the water under the keel is getting really jolly low!"

"Right then. November, Lima, Echo....

...Sierra Oscar November!"
"SOD IT! Right then, November, Echo, Lima...

...Sierra, Oscar, Lima...oh bolleaux!"
"Sirs, water under the keel is now less than one fath......"

CRUNCH!

Nice one Doubledolphins ONCE NAVY ALWAYS NAVY and proud of it :ok:

DD, aye, you mean like an HS146 in the Shetlands?

DD, aye, you mean like an HS146 in the Shetlands?

PN - Or even Islay? :)

Jack

No, no and no. We need a location more remote than that. I suggest somewhere in the vicinity of Cape Wrath; the cafe owners will think it's some sort of whale and the meedja would never find it. There is a small risk that the RAF will try and bomb it, but this will only act as an incentive to refloat the thing should the worst happen.

I shall now retire and watch "Sink the Bismarck" (again) to remind myself how the meedja should view the RN ;)

(perhaps the real issue is not that Astute ran aground for whatever reason, but that this occurred where it could be observed)

Yer, alright :)

http://www.pprune.org/military-aircr...ne-1995-a.html

Mind you, giving up flying Royal aircraft at the age of 47 was a bit young as his Dad was flying a Nimrod when he was 55 and he didn't prang it either, but then he may not have done the landing.

BBC News - Grounded nuclear sub HMS Astute damaged during rescue

oops! :ooh:

Cannot find the Golden Rivet on that diagram (no help, thanks........)

For submariners - shouldn't the planes have been stowed?

on the hanger....................?

For submariners - shouldn't the planes have been stowed?

SSBN foreplanes not routinely stowed since REPULSE lost her port foreplane shortly after diving whilst on passage to the US in Dec 72.

Jack

UJ,

Astute is an SSN not a SSBN. :ok:

ABTE

When I see RAF people spelling it 'Hanger' I lose all hope...

I doubt it will be digested, but despite GPS & INS, some charts are from Captain Cook's era.

That doesn't excuse the RN for not surveying a critical approach, regularly when one considers the 'customers'...

If the RAF is so brilliant at everything, why is there nothing in the inventory now capable of STOL or carrier operations ?

Oh, I forgot, Cameron ( AKA Goering ) who is trying hard to emulate Thatcher, keen on selling Invincible just before she suddenly became a fan of Carriers & Harriers; it's incredible how the lessons of history are so quickly forgotten when convenient.

And yes I was involved with FA2 & AMRAAM, the biggest loss - funny how when 'The Few' are mentioned the FAA contribution is omitted, even in the recent 'First Light' film.

I'm sure begging to the Spanish or French will go down a treat, but of course the people who make idiotic decisions are never near those who have to deal with the results...

Doh.... clearly all the RAF's fault...

2X2

Sorry - I meant on the hanger - a special feature on Boats in the RN on which to hang useless kit.

Also, if you ever accuse me of being in the Crabs I shall email you with an assault!:ok:

Astute is an SSN not a SSBN

If I may "aim between your eyes", that is precisely why I qualified my statement by specifying SSBNs. Since you are obviously such an ace at differentiating between types of submarine, perhaps you will now give us all the benefit of your wisdom in respect of SSN foreplanes, and specifically in respect of ASTUTE.:rolleyes:

Jack