Royal Air Force Station Ascension Island; The Navy's Secret.
 

The next time you chaps stage through ASI, here's something to think about; BBC News - Charles Darwin's evolution experiment on Ascension isle

So Green Mountain wasn't always green.

Yes, and it buggered up the local microclimate to such an extent that 'island holding fuel' was in danger of becoming declared inadequate a few years ago.....

Which would have meant staging through Recife instead.

Not as bad as the evolution experiments in Norfolk.

is it true that Norfolk folk celebrate success by exchanging high sixes??? ;)

It is indeed. But at least motor cars are now so common in Norfolk that the locals have stopped pointing at them.....

Only in the southern parts of Norfolk. Venture north of Wroxham, however ...

STH

Indeed - they'm funny buggers that way....

If you hear the sound of drumming, run like f***. It'll be the locals drumming the webs between their fingers; this will inevitably be followed by chants of "Fresh meat....fresh meat...." :eek:

Even worse if you hear banjos...:ooh:

"Squeal loike a pig, buoy"

Plus one for the experiment.

At least it gave us somewhere to walk to, mind you there were SOoo many crabs. Lovely views too.

Prior to that, I'd always thought that crabs was something to be ashamed of . . .

Then there was the other Great Idea - cats....

When the Navy's wooden wonders called in for a spot of shore time, the cleverest of their rats obviously though "Thank f*** for that, follow me chaps and we'll escape this life of rotten meat and squalor", then led his chums to freedom.

However, having no natural predators, the little $ods bred like crazy.

"Hmm", opined someone in the Admirality, "what can we do? I know - let's send some cats - they'll sort the buggers out!"

So Qty. Lots of pussy cats were duly rounded up and transported to Ascension. They probably didn't get much of a vote in this - and were undoubtedly rather peeved to be booted out to fend for themselves upon arrival.

A few spotted the odd rat, but chasing them across the volcanic wastes was rather painful on the paws. But then one of them spotted a bird. Now birds knew what rats were, because they stole their eggs. But they'd never met these furry things with four legs and a tail before, so went over to say hello....

Mistake. BIG mistake!

From that moment, the cats never looked back. Rats were far TFD, but birds were a piece of pi$$....

Hence the current feral moggy population at ASI.

But apart from that. Anyway, thanks for letting the cat out of the bag on the negative points.


Dengue_Dude. The Andrew's been complaining about the crabs for years. :E

Those of us six-fingered Norfolk brethren who understand the local accent will smile at this notice outside Stibbard village hall last week:
"People of Stibbard don't despair,
The Autumn Fair is nearly here"

To be fair,

The crabs knew the land wasn't flat, and that sea monsters didn't exist long before the Royal Navy.

In fact I'm sure their charts (the ones omitting Norfolk Island) still have 'End of The World' printed on all four sides.

Nonetheless, well done on introducing trees to Ascension. You're well worth keeping post-SDSR!

And weren't the trees also planned to provide replacement masts for the RN's finest?

Still off thread....
.... in Norfolk, wasn't incest called 'rolling your own' ?

Beagle
"pussy cats" ? Since the Navy were involved, should that not be "pusser's cats"?

If you got to the top, or very near it (can't quite remember) and look downslope on the Western side, there are a group of extremely straight tall trees - some species of conifer.

I was told that it was these particular trees that were planted to produce replacement masts - looking at them, I'd believe it.

I still like Green Mountain.

Also, wandering back from the Mess to Tristar village, I'd lay on the path and just look up (it was safer and assisted by the Bacardi) looking at the Milky Way and sundry satellites . . .

Ascension Cat Killers
 

Was there earlier this decade for an 18 month stint and the Asi wild pussy problem (other than 216) was taken care of by a band of Kiwi cat killers contracted by the Foriegn Office. :)

Apparently the crabs were imported from Norfolk, that's why they're always hiding in bushes!

I like the bit about "adapting to life in Norfolk".....just wondering if this course will be available to the rest of the UK population...:E


I want to spend a penny, not go to the shop: nurses to be taught euphemisms | Society | The Guardian

I propose this as a candidate for the 'Understatement of the year'