My boss told me I was indolent, not only am I too lazy to find out what it means but if I did I have no idea what I've done with the dictionary.
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I've solved the problem of a diminishing memory by writing things down on a list.
Now, if I could just remember......................................!! |
I'm still getting used to the fat bloke scaring me in the bathroom mirror.
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Oedipus didn't :}
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If one suffers from Alzheimers and then gets Amnesia does one forget that they can't remember thibgs?
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I don't think this senile dementure thing will ever affect me!
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I thought the Doc said I had a` sensible denture`,but I need to `chew `on it for a bit...
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I thought that this thread was about a young Typhoon driver. How did we get here..!
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Man goes to the doctor for his test results.
Doctor: "I'm very sorry but there's been a mix up at the lab and everyones tests got a bit mixed up. In your case we've narrowed it down, and you've either got Alzheimers or AIDS". Man: "Oh my God, that's terrible either way! What shall I do?" Doctor: "Well, when you leave here, if you can remember your way home, don't f*** your wife!". Taxi for me? |
Typhoon driver? How did we get there?
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Is that a bit like a Wapiti ? |
Never did like elks when I was at Southend as a nipper.
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No Pontius, thems was big winkles
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always prefered crabs though
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On posting back to one of my previous Sqn's, I find myself flying with WSOs who weren't born the last time I was on the Sqn.........:eek:
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I spent the end bit of my working life as an Immigration officer. One day, seated at the control desk, an American passenger came up...asked him the usual questions..
Moley: "How long are you staying?" Pax: "3 days.." Moley: "What are you doing?" Pax: "Medical research conference.." Moley: "That's interesting. What exactly are you researching at the moment?" Pax: "Alzheimer's disease.." Moley: "That's interesting. What exactly are you researching at the moment?" Pax: "Alzheimer's dis....you b*st*rd!!! No fair!! I've been stuck on a plane for hours....!!!" Probably one of my finest hours, that was.... |
A Few Words of Comfort, Old Chaps
Recently discovered that a very ancient chap I know is ex-RAF and in 1945 was awarded an AFC - not only that, but subsequently, in civvy life, he was awarded an OBE.
In discussing matters aeronautical he said "Well, when I retired at 65 I got a bit bored so I thought I'd get a PPL. It all came back very quickly and I tooled around quite happily for a few years until my 'annual' showed a heart murmur so I stopped at 76." He's now 95, occasionally appears on stage in am dram, and at a recent 'gathering' recited the whole of a very long poem from memory! Now - if only I could remember his name ...! DS (aged 59 ... I think) |
When a man grows old
and his balls grow cold and he's bent in the middle like a one string fiddle he can tell you a tale or too............... if he could only remember the tale |
When a man grows old
and his balls grow cold and the end of his knob turns blue and he's bent in the middle like a one string fiddle he can tell you a tale or two............... |
So pull up a chair
and stand me a drink and a tale to you I'll tell of Dead Eye Dick and mexican Pete and a harlot called Eskimo Nell :E |
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