Not often heard, was the call of "CONDOM":

Come Out, Nip Down Over Mixi

But whenever it happened a cheer went up in the crewroom.

Uckers was a great game but by far the more frustrating game was Acey Deucey - the most aggressive form of backgammon. Happy days...

Rules????? In uckers??????
On the back of the board!!:D
3D

Portland SAR
 

I first came across Uckers when I joined 99 sqn in 1957. As a very junior second pilot I rarely had the chance to play as the old Hairies hogged the boards!

Back of the board
 

The back of the board should contain a list of every "8 piece dicking" that has been done with the "8 piece (base) dicking" highlighted as a master-class in Ucking.

Ah yes an eight piecer all at home !!!! Too easy is the shout. The old boy who taught me uckers had a lovely shout of " once at your f#####g reds you c##t " top of his voice during the weekly championships :ok:

So where is he getting all his spent ERU cratridges from then? Or is he going for the low grade sawn off bits of broom handle?

Will he be allowed to sell boards with pictures of Mary Millington, Xaviera and other sundry 70s Porn stars pasted into each corner?

Did he buy up the whole surplus stock of those square wooden tables with the corners cut off and a shelf underneath, so he could paint the boards directly onto the table top. Will he cover them in perspex and accurately crack each sheet around the screw holes?

If not it will just be a ludo set, the likes of which you can get from Mr Waddington any old day of the week.

Ah the joy, when in Culdrose SAR in the 60s, and your game was falling apart, the scramble came and you could accidentally up board with the toe of your two piece goonsuit. If you were winning on the other hand one could always let the grockles hang on to the cliff for another twenty minutes........... :ok:

Anybody know of the card game known in the navy as "$hit on yer oppo"?

Sounds almost as bad as the 'soggy biscuit' game the RM play :yuk:

Thanks for the explanation NRU74. That last hand you cant remember was the one I referred to as "hunt the c**t" as you had to get one of the queens, maybe queen of spades, or am I thinking of a Pushkin short story?!

I live in Cornwall Peter Perfect and some of my mates play Euchre, but I've never indulged myself. Would be interesting if Kirky and Euchre were the same game.

Some harsh rules in Uckers. I thought it all got a bit A-level when "touchy movey" evolved into "thinky movey"! Passed the time on my RNEFTS course all those years ago.

I well recall a potential Uckers player being thrown out of the crewroom window for arguing about the rules before the game had even started:ok:

I've seen inter-mess feuds erupt over disagreements on the more finer points of the game. Many of the problems occurred when WAFUS couldnt agree on WAFU rules. Ive seen blood drawn over an attempted "bendy-blowback whilst playing skimmer rules.
Potentially, uckers can be more dangerous than deck-hockey!

NRU74:
Indeed, and like Pontious Navigator I observed (though never participated in) the ever continuing game in Hastings and Hercules Crewrooms (Changi and Fairford mainly for me). We still had Polish aircrew in my time. Victor F***** comes to mind, who used to charge German tanks on horseback for a living until they told him he could pack it in and embark for France, just in time for the fall of that country. Thence legged it over the Pyrenees, was arrested by the Spanish, escaped and evaded them via La Linea to the Brits in Gibraltar. When told that they had no vacancies for Cavalry Officers agreed to train as a Bomber Pilot, though he had remustered to Navigator by my time. Very typical of the larger than life characters from Eastern Europe that leave the RAF the poorer now they are gone. Hopefully some of their culture, such as Kierke, still survive in it.

Tankertrashnav
Perhaps at the V Force reunion next year, in addition to a Valiant [reception] table,Victor Bomber table,Victor Tanker table,Vulcan table,etc, we could have a Kierki table ?

Sod that..just put an uckers board there and let the dice speak:ok:

Aaahh - reminds me of the monumental game - HC723 RANFAA - RANAS Nowra NSW - circa 1969 - combatants Big Ted and Giffo VS the evil twosome and halves Eddie and Zork - all flying cancelled - crewroom thick with smoke - never before or since witnessed that number of pieces "illegally" going around the buoy.
Crewrooms are not the same!
GAGS
E86
Hunt the C alias Chase the P1sser alias Chase the Lady or in polite civvy circles "Hearts"

I'll admit making my own uckers board when I left the mob, primarily so when ex-mob mates came to visit we had something to play and tell stories around. I had to ditch the board when we moved downunder, but made a new one when I got here!Before I left the UK I was chatting to an ex-REME bloke who worked in the same office as me, and to cut a long story short we ended up organising a game of uckers one lunchtime. Half way through we were getting into the spirit of things, and also getting a few comments from passersby. At one point one of the senior managers wandered past and stopped to watch. After a couple of minutes silence he quite seriously asked "do you reckon we could get a fourfor?" Unfortunately we could not find the elusive fourth member.