Armed Forces to cover for Royal Mail
 

Armed forces personnel are recieving emergency training to enable them to provide cover for the Royal Mail during the forth comming strikes. As we speak aircraft are being painted Red, infact such is the urgency the Red Arrows have already received their 'ROYAL MAIL' transfers and are being loaded with Lincolnshires' deliveries. A RAF spokesman said that most of the mail would be delivered by hand however with the RAF's precision strike capability there could be some spectacular deliveries. The public are advised to ensure any delicate items are well wrapped. ;)

So they'll all be "going postal" then? :E

What next?!
 

As if we're not busy enough already....











....OK, I couldn't possibly leave you thinking that I'd fallen for it.
Besides, nobody would ever believe that I'd been busy!!
BV:}

I heard they already made the first 'delivery' - they are just not quite sure of the exact location...

Dont worry Mr Miggins, your concrete bomb shaped garden ornament will be found soon.;)

Apparently the SAS are being brought in to assist. They will be providing laser guidance in efforts to get the mail through the letterboxes.

At least postmen-chasing dogs will finally have a match...

Dog's are getting special training for the occasion.

The newly appointed AOC Post Office has said he is 'delighted with the challenge ahead and looking forward to working with his new staff of 240 Service and Civilian personnel. Our new Pamphlet entitled '21st Century Junk Mail, it's impact on Global Warming/Terrorism' will be out in 6 to 9 months. That is assuming the brand new Postal HQ is up and running at High Wycombe.
In the meantime, we are contracting out the actual delivery of mail to a team of consultants.

Surely it costs more to send everything Airmail?



....don't worry, I've already got it.

Letter bombs.

A RAF spokesman said that most of the mail would be delivered by hand however with the RAF's precision strike capability there could be some spectacular deliveries

But it must be true - I've had C130Js flying spectacularly over my manor at treetop height for the past two days. However, with their "strike capability" they must have gone out in sympathy with the UCW - they haven't actually delivered anything yet!

Jack

PS There must be some erstwhile ex-Majunga Shacklebat crew out there who would love to help, and some of you may even remember their favourite wind-up

PPS Oh yes - for the avoidance of doubt (or embarassment), the trees are all at least 250 feet tall ......

I heard that all the letters for a village were to be placed in the chaff dispenser and would be delivered during a low level training exercise:hmm:

Air (Mail) Command or Postal Command?

Royal Air (Parcel) Force :D

Can you imagine the SAS doing collections/deliveries.:eek:

Deliveries - smash the front door down, lob in a stun grenade, forward roll into house, spraying room with automatic weapon fire before finally delivering the late Mrs Moggins letters.

Collections - blacked-out van screams to a halt outside post box, snatch(:E) team dispatched, blow-off hinges of post box, stuff mail into sack, back into van and depart at speed.

Mind you, at least they'd get the job done and we wouldn't have to wait until the middle of next week for our next delivery:ugh: - or should that rant be saved for Jet Blast!

A whole new meaning to "being posted"?

You've got it all wrong. This is way the Hereford Hooligans would do it:

Deliveries - you wake up to discover your post neatly piled by your bed, despite the windows being shut, the doors locked and the mutt is still asleep on the landing.

Collections - you get a note under the door telling you to leave your post under the hedge* opposite Farmer Giles' barn, between the hours of 2300 and 2330. It's delivered as above in N Scotland by 0530....

*Called a DLB in the trade, aka dead letter box. The Commander of British Forces in GW1 was Gen Sir Peter de la Billiere, ex CO of 22, and always known as DLB....

His brother Fred was an FAA pilot, retired as a Commander.

Dirty Lying Ba*******

Will the ensuing SAS book on the postal strike be titled 'BFPO Two Zero' by Andy McMailbag?
Does this mean that they will stick an OP on my house to ascertain my pattern of life before attempting to deliver my parcel with absolute stealth only to discover that I was out...another failure of actionable intelligence...

No need to - it's all on file already .....:}

So, the same level of service as the normal PO then :E