Mr Vice
 

Help!
I have just been sticked up with Mr Vice for our Sqn Dining In Night next week. It is a while since i went to such a night and would be very greatful if somebody could remind me of the role as Mr Vice.

When and what am i supposed to say?

Sorry to make my first post a request, i thought i had passed the point where i would be called up for Mr Vice.
Many Thanks

This could be good. :}

When?

Mate, as far as the formal bit of toasting and possibly grace goes...ask your PMC or Sqn Boss.
However, the after-dinner bit is really up to you.
Assuming it is a RAF dining-in, you will be expected to provide some entertainment after the top-table has left for the bar. Jokes/stories are good, but be expected to be boo'd or have food thrown at you.
A good plan (seen recently) is to go up armed. i.e. take a waterpistol to shoot anyone that gobs off at you.
I'm sure lots of people will offer you plenty of advice. Have a good one!:ok:

Effortless,

I am sat her wiping the tears from my eyes having read your link, heard them all before but put together like that is one of the funiest renditions I have ever heard:D

Well done sir!

all spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced

Effortless, likewise, I couldn't read the last paragraph I was p*****g myself laughing.

Brilliant link - well done to the author.

Especially since I know who you are!

I have to say, I was dissapointed with the link.

I've only just woken up.

Oh how entertaining! Oh all those mess scr*w ups! Hilarious!

All the old stuff. Posted into one link.




At least they all worked in their respective days!

Lol, well done, I suppose.

If its a Ladies Guest night, try not to start your post-dinner top table joke with "Does anyone mind if I tell a paedophile joke?". Should you decide to do that though, try not to interpret the deafening silence as a good sign that you should go ahead and actually tell a paedophile joke.

Oh, and if you are detailed to march in the standard, try not to forget, and stand behind your seat before grace wondering why the Sqn boss has just passed you a note saying "please pop up to the top table for a moment" (or words to that effect).

Beagle, its not that difficult to work out who he is, really, is it? Given his name is by the story and there is a picture of him..

Ah yes, PCB - I didn't spot the name link......

And I really meant I know him by nom-de-PPRuNe.

Me too. Doesn't describe him very well though does it?

Hi,

I'm halfway between laughing, and thinking...

"And the next morning, they got up and made thirty-ton metal objects go over Phil's head at 500 miles an hour." :)

Aiee!

Phil

Newblood

If your function will be mixed a good idea would be to informally appoint a Ms 'Special Assitant' Vice to round up those folks malingering in the ladies, whilst you are rounding up folks from the gents.

I won't add any more because I wouldn't want you to inadvertently corrupt the genteel traditions of a Crab Air mess with the vulgarity of my Convict Army approach.....

good luck

BTW you HAVE bought a frozen turkey for rugby, haven't you? For heaven's sake don't rely on someone rummaging around for a cabbage.....

Or use the Station Commander's hat. Go on, he won't mind.

Newbod,
Went to an excellent BoB Guest Night last week, where Mr Vice had done the job correctly and prepared in advance!
When time came for him to take the top table, he grabbed a guitar he had placed behind a curtain and stood on the top table, using it as a stage. He had prewarned and practiced with several of his mates, who after handing out song sheets joined him on stage.
There then followed a very very good and witty rendition of a song they had made up about the Station and it's units, to an old tune. Many a score was settled in good humour, and many a Sqn boss had the michael taken out of them in good spirit. Riotous applause, dog fight with toy aircraft, before the air raid siren signaled the charge to the bar.
Excellent!:D :ok: :ok:

My hazy recollection is that that was a good night, one of the few a PMC has rememebered to march the standards out...

effortless - brilliant!
Reading that must be like drowning - all my previous dining-in nights passed before my eyes
The detail and profile are so accurate - I have witnessed all those events and a lot more - it could only be surpassed by watching a video of the whole evening, and that would be priceless!
Guess he made 2*?:)