Advice sought; conduct unbecoming?
 

I'm looking for a little bit of anonymous advice. I've found out recently that a bloke I know quite well in one of the services has been misbehaving in his post. He's been using his position of authority to start some relationships with women under his control. Due to his job, they're not people under his direct command but people whose careers he has very direct control over. I'm no expert but very sure it amounts to harrassment.

I didn't think it was much of my business until I found out a close friend was involved, and now the angry Englishman in me wants the bloke strung up. I've not been in the forces very long at all so thought that a bit of anonymous advice might be sensible. Does this happen lots? Should I wind my neck in? Or should I speak to some people?

Sorry for being vague. Help via PMs or replies here much appreciated.

sounds like you could get the answer from the newspaper you sound like you write for.

Harrasment is a personal thing and there are rules and guidelines laid down for ALL to follow. If the people concerned feel they are being harrased, they have a clear path to state their case. Nothing anonymous is required.

Not a journo; just a guy in flying training keen my QFIs don't identify me! The woman in question's a civilian, so has no information nor any clear line to take. On top of that, she doesn't want her partner involved, or finding out. As I say, I wasn't sure if a third party like me should get involved to try and draw attention to this person and stop him carrying on, or if I should just wind my neck in?

The MOD has clear rules for service people and civilians alike. Perhaps she should go to the Civvy Admin office and read the info. It should also be available in her normal place of work.

If you are certain that this is a case of harrasment, then you have a duty of care to report it, why should it matter if other QFI's know who you are, if they offer any antagonism for the release of this information then that WOULD be harrasment.

You must tell someone. Failure to report is seen to be just as bad as actually doing the deed.

Take a deep breath and go and see OC PMS.

Anita

Thanks for the replies. Anita, I've PMed you briefly.

Underahat

If these "relationships" were started without the consent of the ladies, then, surely, that is rape or indecent assault.

Be careful. One lady's "harassment" is another's banter. I would suggest that any complaint should come from the "victim" and not from you.

FV, actually <<I would suggest that any complaint should come from the "victim" and not from you.>> is out of date.

Take a case of an off-colour joke at the expense of say an Indian. No offence taken by the the subject but a bystander can be offended and successfully claim harassment.

In this case our observer is affronted by what is seen as inappropriat behaviour. Going to OC PMS may be a bit heavy. The padre is often valuable in this area and more private too.

hat,

Good on you for maintaining standards... I hope it's a mis-interpretation on your part, but if it isnt I hope the chap involved gets his @rse kicked

Or you could....
 

Contact an Equal Opportunities Advisor at your unit for further advice.
YOU should not be treated any differently, in a professional sense, for taking any action.

If people conduct themselves correctly then they should have nothing to worry about, should they?

Regards,

In an ideal world of course but I wonder what has happened to those who have blown the whistle. I hope that the RAF has changed but judging from the support a young officer got after he hung his watch uninvited on a woman's bedpost, well, I have my tin hat on.

"Start relationships"???????
 

A relationship - what does that mean? Not at all the same thing as harassment, according to your sketchy info. Does what happen lots - relationships? I think that men and women start "relationships" in all walks of life, not just the military. Perhaps you can't manage the banter level of your colleague and you're cheesed off.

Concur with ZH875 - thus far it merely sounds like the the bobbin' of the bait on the journo's hook.

Do you wish it was you who was able to start a a relationship U'hat?!

If by some miracle you are in the Services then do one or more of the following:
1 - Head down and get flying
2 - Tell your QFI then Flt Cdr about what you've "seen". Don't go straight to OC PMS with out the Sqn Boss being in the know.

I'm with scottishbeefer, concentrate on the flying training and keep it under your hat.

If you are an officer then you deserve to lose your commission with an attitude like that. scottishbeefer gave you 2 choices and you took the wrong one. If there is an indication of wrongdoing then you are duty bound to do something about it. It could amound to gross misconduct, which cannot be tolerated in the Services. Most people on this thread would seem to agree.

Think about it from the other half - how does the victim feel? How would he/she like to believe that all those around him/her want to brush it under tha carpet? Is that person in a position to be able to do anything about it? We are not civilians, we are military and we live by different rules. Abuse of power is bad. If you don't like it, f#ck off to another job.

Thanks for those kind words TBSG. I can't f#ck off to another job as I have hung up my headset for good after 40 years of flying. Your profile is blank, but it's obvious you are not an officer! If I am wrong then it appears that a sense of humour is no longer a requirement in the Royal Air Force.
I also think underhat is a fake. His phrasing doesn't ring true > I've found out recently that a bloke I know quite well in ONE OF THE SERVICES has been misbehaving in his post - He's been using his position of authority to start some relationships with women UNDER HIS CONTROL. I'VE NOT BEEN IN THE FORCES very long at all so thought that a bit of anonymous advice might be sensible. He also claims to be JUST A GUY IN FLYING TRAINING keen my QFIs don't identify me! Why post such rubbish on a forum like this? Aunt Agatha's Agony Column in the Peoples' Friend would be more appropriate!

I agree with Brakedwell,

the initial post on this thread does not ring true at all, far too vague and poorly written. Defo a journo :mad: scumbag.

If it is true, and underhat is indeed a commissioned officer then perhaps he should take a hard look at himself and decide on whether or not he is fit to hold his rank. He's not showing much potential so far!

Do Not Understand?
 

You have a moralistic obligation and professional obligation to report anybody that you deem as acting in an inapproriate way, this is regardless if you know the person, work for them or yourself feel pressurised into keeping this information quiet. A number of people have posted threads here which mention 'sense of humour' ,'keep your hat on' that is such an awful and wholely unacceptable attitude and not one becoming of anyhbody that is in a position of authority (ie Officer). Just think if something happened and you hadn't spoken up....what would that say about you?
You can call an equal opportunities/harrassment phone number, speak to OC PSF,OC PMS, Chf Clk, speak to your Flt Cdr or Sqn Cdr, Padre, SSAFA Social Worker, anything you tell people should be taken serious and you should not be treated any differently for highlighting a potential problem. My only other piece of advise is try to get the individual herself to make the complaint, or maybe you could both go together?

Brit55 and others - you do have to wonder why a journo would post such a Q though?

jacketp,
Yes you are right, and then we should all hug trees and sing kumbayaa.

What is a "moralistic" obligation, apart from being a classic example of PC speak?
As for shopping colleagues, I have never approved of poking my nose into other people's personal lives. It's up to the "wronged" party to report any abuse or harrassment from superiors. In the present climate of political correctness it won't be long before the Stasi is refomed and given an office on every RAF station so that snitches with grievances have somewhere to scuttle to when they feel aggrieved.
airborne_artist. Maybe not a journo, definately not a U/T pilot, how about a troll in a big girl's blouse?