NZ uniforms
 

Recently saw a photo of US troops handing over control to NZ troops in a part of Afghanistan. Puzzling thing was the US guys are all kitted out in desert fatigues and the Kiwi uniform looks like they're about to go deer hunting in the Ureweras, you know green as. Whats up with that???:confused:

It's all to do with the cheapest bidder. The NZ government ensure that this policy is strictly adhered to with most things military.

Also I guess that all of the baddies will now easily identify the 'Greenies' as belonging to that nice young peaceloving country of Enzed, and will not shoot at them. Pink scarves may also become compulsory for a better reference... :p

Wasn't their attire merely chosen to reflect the lovely Helen's green policies? Has sHe allowed them to bring their nasty guns with them - or just something fluffy?

Fluffy - Do you mean cute sheep ??
 

All magic bang sticks have now been replaced with Shovels (soft plastic ones), to match the humanitarian role. Why would anybody want to shoot the lovely NZ military who are only helping?

Tell that to the four military guys who escaped from the bad guys in Sierra Leone. One of them was a Kiwi Peacekeeper, and the rebels didn't seem to care.

Indeed. I'm sure that Uncle Helen will be happy that the shovels are made from soft pink plastic and don't have any nast sharp bits to hurt the grateful, peace loving people living in the Great Sandtray.

Mr B,

Did you get my last PM ? (no, not Prime Minister - I wouldn't send her to you)

Hmmm....

I think the soft, pink, plastic shovels would also have to be bio-degradable and non-gender-specific.

Actually Helengrad has relented and the chaps are allowed to take their nasty bang sticks with them this time, so long as they promise not to shoot off any dangerous and expensive ammo.

Maharey, or Mallard, or one of the other effeminate simpletons who pass for Cabinet Ministers here - can't be bothered remembering which - actually suggested, on TV, while addressing the troops prior to departure, that if faced with an armed or dangerous threat, they should respond by running away.

Truly mindboggling.

Stands to reason really. The NZ Govt is all smoke screens and mirrors. No one is facing the facts and if ever confronted on any issue #1. Run away or #2. If youre name is Helen (and you did psyc 101 at university) - make a vicious attack on someones personality or past. Under no circumstances face the issue or answer the question.

Im surprised Mallard didnt suggest putting your underpants on your head, pencils up your nose....and saying only wibble.

Whats worse is that the average kiwi voter either doesnt give a to$$ or is so stupid as not to notice it.

When faced with adversity, the steadfast ablilty to ignore to look at the facts and ignore them will see you through.

The NZDF are damn lucky that the pilot, sailor and grunt at the coalface are blessed with cunning and ingenuity........ but it must be disheartening to know that you get jack all support from the top.

**No doubt, like Bosnia, the kiwis will produce the best bar in theatre though**

AUSSY UNIFORMS ALSO SUCK...!
 

Why is it that the Australians' desert uniform resembles a paintball massacre?

Is it just me, or has Stella McCartney had her hands on it recently...the uniform that is...not the Australian in it!

Last year I actually told an AUS wearing said item, that it looked like a pair of pyjamas...turns out he was AUS SF and yes, my arse hurt for the remainder of my tour!

(he kicked me up my arse by the way...you sick monkeys!)

Well they sleep in them..
 

I think that the Aussie DPMs were designed by a computer, the random patterns are not random, and in fact replicate many of the leaf patterns found in the Australian outback. It actually works very well, just not in Antarctica or in a pine forest..

Runaway Gun, you are quite correct about Oz DPCU's (Disruptive Pattern Combat Uniform). Some boffins spent a good deal of time noting the colours of the Australian bush and came up with a pattern and colours that are very effective.
This was back in the day when our doctrine was stopping the hordes to our north who were, apparently, dead keen on invading us. Of course, since then we've done approx zero ops on our own soil and a fair bit on other people's dirt, much like we've always done. DPCU's would probably work well anywhere where we have exported gum trees (California for one) but not so well in other places.
When we started doing extended ops in sandier areas, the boffins decided there wasn't time to do the same level of research into the DPDU as they did for the DPCU and used the nearest available sand for their reserach. That's why we are superbly equipped to conduct combat operations at Bondi, but not necessarily Baghdad. The best description I've heard of the DPDU is it makes its wearer look like a bruised bannana.

Don't slip on the banana peel
 

Whoaa there... have things changed regarding the crazy hordes up north?

No, they're still there. They just seem more keen to fight each other

Our doctrine is now sending small groups to plug into combined ops.

Those Hords to our North...
 

I hope you are not referring to us Territorians!!!!

Runaway, we aint crazy....just a little slow sometimes hyuck hyuck (cue the banjo music!).

Fox3

:8

Northern Territorians - you asked for it.
 

Has Johnny Howard dug that big deep canal (around the NT) he's been promising, like Malcom 'Pants Down' Fraser did with Tasmania? :p

Spose we'd need a coupla thousand Phalanx sytems running the length of the fenceline to stop ya flying free... ;)

Great idea putting a fence in....keep the bl**dy southerners out and leave us to inbreed in peace!

:E

Same old same old.

Deploy them light. They will use their initiative and come back fully equiped.

Are units still being deployed with a Govt. bean counter in the chain of command?

Are deployed units still being used to burn through life expired rations?

Are teeth units still being used to wear out gear everyone else phased out ages ago?

Thought so.

Put Helen on the front of a Frigate. Main armament then redundant. Should save a packet.

Why equip troops when they can borrow other forces equipment?
 

As one who has served in NZ, Middle East and the Balkans, with a number of different organisations, I am long of the belief that it is better to get ingenious Commonwealth Forces to steal/borrow/barter kit from our generous US colleagues (oops! that's right, excluding New Zealand!)

In the Gulf we routinely obtained all manner of US equipment, clothing, boots etc to make up for our crappy issued kit (with the exception of NBC gear - UK S-10s are much better). Got ammunition, too.

Why bother spending hard earned NZ dollars or Sterling whenthe US are so gullable?

Crikey E.C.
 

Talk about biting the hand that feeds you.....

This was all meant to be a secret - now the Kiwi politicians will find out.