Best Bull****ter in the world
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Best Bull****ter in the world
Boys and Gals
you have to take your hat off to him, he should be granted a full reprieve for his performance! The Iraqi information minister today(sorry yesterday) when he was holding the daily press conference, denying the US ovewhelming presence in Baghdad as journalists said what about these tanks coming down the road in front of us, he replied 'see they are coming to surrender'. without a flinch and instantainiously. That unknown bloke who won the Oscar for best actor in that German film 'eat your heart out' you have got nothing on this bloke, he is tops, and desearves the award for the 'best most loyal bull**** merchant under duress' in the world. What do you think? Have you seen a bigger bull****ter?>
you have to take your hat off to him, he should be granted a full reprieve for his performance! The Iraqi information minister today(sorry yesterday) when he was holding the daily press conference, denying the US ovewhelming presence in Baghdad as journalists said what about these tanks coming down the road in front of us, he replied 'see they are coming to surrender'. without a flinch and instantainiously. That unknown bloke who won the Oscar for best actor in that German film 'eat your heart out' you have got nothing on this bloke, he is tops, and desearves the award for the 'best most loyal bull**** merchant under duress' in the world. What do you think? Have you seen a bigger bull****ter?>
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Great performance!
Hope when our American cousins find him that we can replace Richard Madely with him on the 'Richard and Judy' show, that should send figures soaring.
He certainly brightened my day as being a 'natch' in an otherwise serious situation.
Hope when our American cousins find him that we can replace Richard Madely with him on the 'Richard and Judy' show, that should send figures soaring.
He certainly brightened my day as being a 'natch' in an otherwise serious situation.
Although 'Baghdad Bob' did have a bit of a grin on his face as if trying to say "You must realise that if I don't keep spouting this load of bull$hite, then I'm going to get wasted by Uncle S. Surely you lot know that?"
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Coops
I can just see it now: the man ' formely known as the iraqi information minister' and Ulrika Johnson. Step aside Richard and Judy we have actually found two people that can bull**** more than you!(and thats saying something!)
I can just see it now: the man ' formely known as the iraqi information minister' and Ulrika Johnson. Step aside Richard and Judy we have actually found two people that can bull**** more than you!(and thats saying something!)
Too late! Word has it that El-Tone has earmarked him for delivering the improvement figures on the National Health, Crime Rate etc. 
Failing that, the world is at his feet for consultancy work, insurance etc
Failing that, the world is at his feet for consultancy work, insurance etc
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Not sure how to do this....but look what I've just seen on the BBC....he deserves an Oscar
Baghdad Bob
Is this the image you were trying to post?
Baghdad Bob
Is this the image you were trying to post?
Last edited by Heliport; 10th Apr 2003 at 22:09.
What a top site!
What the Iraqi Info Minister would have said about the Battle of the River Big Horn, had he been a 7th Cav PR officer was especially fine:
What the Iraqi Info Minister would have said about the Battle of the River Big Horn, had he been a 7th Cav PR officer was especially fine:
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I believe BAe Systems have offered him a job to teach senior management how to lie better.
I always thought they were very good at it without help
I always thought they were very good at it without help
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"I tell you now, and I am responsible for this, the Nimrod programme has not been delayed. In fact is you who is late. The mighty hunter even now flies over your house, causing your infidel family to cower in fear and suicide themselves."
Hmm. Yeah, I think he'd fit in well there.
Hmm. Yeah, I think he'd fit in well there.
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Yup I was trying to do that pic Heliport....thanks for that. I'll get to grips with these new-fangled computer thingies one day
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Truce over, war resumes, Information Minister Back on the Air
Truce over, war resumes, Information Minister Back on the Air
“The Ba’ath Party Executive announced today that they will shortly be returning from their annual working vacations and that they expect to take up the War again exactly where it was tactically suspended on the 26th day by the Great Leader. President Saddam Hussain had noted that the Coalition Forces Central Command had introduced card-playing into Combat and promptly issued orders that all Ba’ath Party Officials were to proceed immediately to Monte Carlo for extensive indoctrination in all aspects of card-playing and Games of Fortune based upon Poker and Poker Faces. On this strategic deployment they were led by the “Leader of the Pack” himself. Upon his triumphant return to Baghdad today he apologized for the necessity of stripping the Antiquities Museum for stake money but, neatly cutting and shuffling a set of Coalition Cards to demonstrate his new skills, he remarked that it had been necessary so that Ba’ath Party Officials could “hit the deck running”.
I am telling you now, praise be to Allah, that these war-games were not in fact simulated and that they were playing for keeps with real money. Praise be to Allah, all officials have now passed their courses with flying colours and Our Great Leader has recognized these successes by approving an increase in the House Limit. This will mean that the intensity of combat will increase on all fronts and that the already risky campaign by Coalition Forces will now be faced with a daily rolling of dice in the Leader’s bunker. They will find that for the wagers of sin, it is Death. No more will they be able to sing: “Tanks for the memory” as all their tanks will be blown away by our Fedayeen card-sharks. They will deal with them”, he said.
President Saddam claimed today that the World expected the Coalition Forces to “Play the Game” according to International Rules of Conduct….as laid down by the French Casino and Gaming Commission. Noting his many fallen effigies strewn around Baghdad, Saddam said: “It is obvious that Gen Tommy Franks has no respect for these Statutes, however I myself will respect the rules of the game and not tolerate any cheating”, he said “and to reinforce this, let it be known that I had my dearly beloved son Uday shot for dealing off the bottom.”
“Qusay had also been found cheating” he said, “but he has merely had to throw in his hand, according to the Shariah Law as set out in the Holy Quran.” "It is no different to Western Custom”, said President for Life Saddam. “It was cut off without a penny and he left the table empty-handed”. “Qusay had his fingers in too many pies”. We never had any Weapons of Mass Destruction”, said President Saddam. “but we were certainly not expecting General Tommy Franks to be playing with a full deck either. However I think that he will find that we are holding all the cards. In fact, because of their obvious tactical value, we now have warehouses full of them – including Happy Families and Canasta.” We have dismissed all previous connections with foreign arms dealers and now we only deal with card dealers. “I am so confident of Victory in this campaign that I have challenged President Bush to a game of cribbage followed by some blackjack and a winner-take-all of stud poker. With Allah by my side we cn take them all to the cleaners, insha’Allah.”
Referring to the US President’s landing today upon the carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, President Hussain said that he too planned a visit to his flagship just as soon as he could get his scuba tank filled and find the money for the arrears in his PADI fees.
This concludes today’s Ministry of Information News from my Garden Shed…. and would the person or persons who took my TV make-up kit please at least return the rouge and eye-liner. Thank you. Looting today is scheduled for the block bounded by Al Mansoor Street and the Street of a Thousand A-holes. Please comply with police directions on numbers of items permitted per family. And please leave receipts”
“The Ba’ath Party Executive announced today that they will shortly be returning from their annual working vacations and that they expect to take up the War again exactly where it was tactically suspended on the 26th day by the Great Leader. President Saddam Hussain had noted that the Coalition Forces Central Command had introduced card-playing into Combat and promptly issued orders that all Ba’ath Party Officials were to proceed immediately to Monte Carlo for extensive indoctrination in all aspects of card-playing and Games of Fortune based upon Poker and Poker Faces. On this strategic deployment they were led by the “Leader of the Pack” himself. Upon his triumphant return to Baghdad today he apologized for the necessity of stripping the Antiquities Museum for stake money but, neatly cutting and shuffling a set of Coalition Cards to demonstrate his new skills, he remarked that it had been necessary so that Ba’ath Party Officials could “hit the deck running”.
I am telling you now, praise be to Allah, that these war-games were not in fact simulated and that they were playing for keeps with real money. Praise be to Allah, all officials have now passed their courses with flying colours and Our Great Leader has recognized these successes by approving an increase in the House Limit. This will mean that the intensity of combat will increase on all fronts and that the already risky campaign by Coalition Forces will now be faced with a daily rolling of dice in the Leader’s bunker. They will find that for the wagers of sin, it is Death. No more will they be able to sing: “Tanks for the memory” as all their tanks will be blown away by our Fedayeen card-sharks. They will deal with them”, he said.
President Saddam claimed today that the World expected the Coalition Forces to “Play the Game” according to International Rules of Conduct….as laid down by the French Casino and Gaming Commission. Noting his many fallen effigies strewn around Baghdad, Saddam said: “It is obvious that Gen Tommy Franks has no respect for these Statutes, however I myself will respect the rules of the game and not tolerate any cheating”, he said “and to reinforce this, let it be known that I had my dearly beloved son Uday shot for dealing off the bottom.”
“Qusay had also been found cheating” he said, “but he has merely had to throw in his hand, according to the Shariah Law as set out in the Holy Quran.” "It is no different to Western Custom”, said President for Life Saddam. “It was cut off without a penny and he left the table empty-handed”. “Qusay had his fingers in too many pies”. We never had any Weapons of Mass Destruction”, said President Saddam. “but we were certainly not expecting General Tommy Franks to be playing with a full deck either. However I think that he will find that we are holding all the cards. In fact, because of their obvious tactical value, we now have warehouses full of them – including Happy Families and Canasta.” We have dismissed all previous connections with foreign arms dealers and now we only deal with card dealers. “I am so confident of Victory in this campaign that I have challenged President Bush to a game of cribbage followed by some blackjack and a winner-take-all of stud poker. With Allah by my side we cn take them all to the cleaners, insha’Allah.”
Referring to the US President’s landing today upon the carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, President Hussain said that he too planned a visit to his flagship just as soon as he could get his scuba tank filled and find the money for the arrears in his PADI fees.
This concludes today’s Ministry of Information News from my Garden Shed…. and would the person or persons who took my TV make-up kit please at least return the rouge and eye-liner. Thank you. Looting today is scheduled for the block bounded by Al Mansoor Street and the Street of a Thousand A-holes. Please comply with police directions on numbers of items permitted per family. And please leave receipts”
