What did officers eat for lunch?
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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In 1972, muesli was just getting popular for brekky. We suggested to the Catering Officer that the boring old corn flakes, rice bubbles and weetbix should have muesli added to the choice.
"Too expensive" was the reply.
"But we want it. And there are now 21 extra live-in junior officers in the mess, (just starting pilots' course) so we outnumber the more senior people living in. "
Pause. Thinks.
"OK, I will buy some, but if you eat it, I won't get any more!"
Stifled mirth amongst the boggies.
"Too expensive" was the reply.
"But we want it. And there are now 21 extra live-in junior officers in the mess, (just starting pilots' course) so we outnumber the more senior people living in. "
Pause. Thinks.
"OK, I will buy some, but if you eat it, I won't get any more!"
Stifled mirth amongst the boggies.
Avoid imitations
The best curry lunch I've ever tasted was in a Gurkha Officers' Mess in the Belizean jungle, in around 1980. It was so hot that it nearly blew my hat off, and the included goat bone and hair did put me off a little, but it was totally delicious.
Luverly-grub on the ground is all very well, but if you had to partake of a lunchbox whilst flying en-route I thought you'd be interested in what we fliers had to endure whilst travelling out east in the late 1970's, as witness this lunchbox provided by civilian caterers at Khartoum in July 1979.
A couple of ropey rolls and two dead bananas - so awful I had to photograph it for posterity. Mind you it wasn't too bad because ISTR none of the crew had to be hospitalised afterwards!
A couple of ropey rolls and two dead bananas - so awful I had to photograph it for posterity. Mind you it wasn't too bad because ISTR none of the crew had to be hospitalised afterwards!
With my squadron resident on a cruiser in the 1970s, I was carefully selected from a cast of thousands to be the “Naval Gunfire Support Liaison Officer” as one of our tasks was to “spot” for the ship’s 6” and 3” guns. In order to learn the relevant dark arts I was despatched to do a course with the Royal Artillery.
At breakfast on the first morning I asked the steward for bacon, sausage, egg and beans, to be told “Sorry Sir, we don’t do beans”.
I failed to get a sensible reason for this from the Chief Steward or the Catering Officer, but eventually tracked down the Unit’s God of Catering in the mess that evening.
His answer- “Because, Laddie, baked beans are not an Officer’s vegetable”.
No answer to that!
At breakfast on the first morning I asked the steward for bacon, sausage, egg and beans, to be told “Sorry Sir, we don’t do beans”.
I failed to get a sensible reason for this from the Chief Steward or the Catering Officer, but eventually tracked down the Unit’s God of Catering in the mess that evening.
His answer- “Because, Laddie, baked beans are not an Officer’s vegetable”.
No answer to that!
I suffered the worst dose of food poisoning that I’ve ever had after dining at St Athan. About an hour after eating lunch on a summer detachment I suddenly felt so dizzy and with severe stomach cramps that I had to sit down on dispersal whilst walking out to my aircraft to fly! After tests I was found to have ingested three different types of bad bacteria. A colleague who had eaten the same dish (chicken curry) was similarly affected. I spent the rest of the day in the bathroom feeling very, very poorly.
Avoid imitations
erm...Breakfasts!
My 1st posting to Tern Hill was wonderful - As a Liney, I would get up for morning shift, get dressed and go to the Guardroom picking up the Airmen's Mess and Whirlwind Line keys. I'd cook my own breakfast and leave the used 'stuff' on the servery counter alongside the keys and go to work, opening up for 0600. Seemed like it was all of about 200 steps each way.
In 1980 I was on exercise at a nuclear base in deepest, darkest Northern Suffolk and just after my battle-hardened eggs, mangled tinned sausages and embrittled strips of pseudo-bacon. I was asked to deliver something to the crew-side and saw that they were eating civilised brekkies of cornflakes, toast, etc....Confirmed my thoughts about us and them...no devilled kidneys on show at that time...
My 1st posting to Tern Hill was wonderful - As a Liney, I would get up for morning shift, get dressed and go to the Guardroom picking up the Airmen's Mess and Whirlwind Line keys. I'd cook my own breakfast and leave the used 'stuff' on the servery counter alongside the keys and go to work, opening up for 0600. Seemed like it was all of about 200 steps each way.
In 1980 I was on exercise at a nuclear base in deepest, darkest Northern Suffolk and just after my battle-hardened eggs, mangled tinned sausages and embrittled strips of pseudo-bacon. I was asked to deliver something to the crew-side and saw that they were eating civilised brekkies of cornflakes, toast, etc....Confirmed my thoughts about us and them...no devilled kidneys on show at that time...
We are back to breakfast?
Leeming and Topcliffe c. 1966. Linton and Dishforth and Acklington and Church Fenton similarly, unless the boss was a hard-arse.
Met. night shift in the mushroom season. Met forecaster and observer have brought the makings for a fat-boy breakfast. At about 0445. the observer does the necessary in the enclosure and brings back mushrooms, three minutes plucked. Forecaster has the fry-up nearly complete. Let battle commence.
0600 to 0700 the weathership pilot attends to hear the usual lies, having breakfasted on a hasty lump of toast.
We received many a comment about the delicious smell, which, in both locations also percolated upstairs to ATC.
[No baked beans: I guess we were weather-knobs].
Leeming and Topcliffe c. 1966. Linton and Dishforth and Acklington and Church Fenton similarly, unless the boss was a hard-arse.
Met. night shift in the mushroom season. Met forecaster and observer have brought the makings for a fat-boy breakfast. At about 0445. the observer does the necessary in the enclosure and brings back mushrooms, three minutes plucked. Forecaster has the fry-up nearly complete. Let battle commence.
0600 to 0700 the weathership pilot attends to hear the usual lies, having breakfasted on a hasty lump of toast.
We received many a comment about the delicious smell, which, in both locations also percolated upstairs to ATC.
[No baked beans: I guess we were weather-knobs].
When the new bunker was opened at HQSTC, the Catering Facility ie canteen was first rate, particularly for lunch. The chefs and cooks seemed to be left to be independent of the rest of the station, and produced some fantastic dishes, including bread that they baked themselves. Eating in offices was banned, so you could take your sarnies up to the canteen to eat. They even produced afternoon tea with home-made cakes. Needless to say, once it became too popular, it was all stopped by the fun detectors.
There can be only one…
Welcome, the gentlemen please. To number one officers’ mess…RAF Akrotiri. Halloumi and bacon, yes please for the gentlemen…
God bless George, no longer with us…
Welcome, the gentlemen please. To number one officers’ mess…RAF Akrotiri. Halloumi and bacon, yes please for the gentlemen…
God bless George, no longer with us…
What a very fine chap George was, an absolute legend!
"All menu very good, gentlemen! Very fine"
Does today's RAF still have such fine folk as George and Chris Kebab at Akrotiri??
"All menu very good, gentlemen! Very fine"
Does today's RAF still have such fine folk as George and Chris Kebab at Akrotiri??
Lacking access to the microwave at the mess post a late SAR recovery, the frozen steaks were cooked in the pop-up toaster. I do not recommend cooking steaks in pop-up toasters.
Honest truth guv.
1Br Corps BFG exercise in the field .................. breakfast, proper tables, proper chairs, proper crockery, proper fresh-baked rolls and decent coffee on a spring morning.
[S Met O 1Br Corps was indisposed for the exercise, and I beat the rush to volunteer to replace him].
Camouflage and Protection was rubbish though.
1Br Corps BFG exercise in the field .................. breakfast, proper tables, proper chairs, proper crockery, proper fresh-baked rolls and decent coffee on a spring morning.
[S Met O 1Br Corps was indisposed for the exercise, and I beat the rush to volunteer to replace him].
Camouflage and Protection was rubbish though.
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Great South East, tired and retired
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In our little portable donga for the SAR crew and maintainers lived an old pop-up toaster. I put bread into it, and it did its thing, but the toast wasn't cooked yet. I pushed the lever back down and when the second run was done, the toast was good. But out ran a little cockroach with his arse on fire.
Hmmm...remove the toast, push the lever down again, and again, and after 5 cycles I had forced 18 cockroaches out of their hotel. The toaster went in the bin, and I went to the Base XO to demand a move to a better building, which we got.
Hmmm...remove the toast, push the lever down again, and again, and after 5 cycles I had forced 18 cockroaches out of their hotel. The toaster went in the bin, and I went to the Base XO to demand a move to a better building, which we got.
Avoid imitations
Langley, I take it that wasn’t at a Support Helicopter deployed site? Compared to how the army ran things out in the field, the “facilities” were usually not much above appalling.
The army never ceases to amaze: a RA Mess in UK solemnly offered me a dinner menu with one main course. Very smart menu, choice of starter and pud. Different..
In our little portable donga for the SAR crew and maintainers lived an old pop-up toaster. I put bread into it, and it did its thing, but the toast wasn't cooked yet. I pushed the lever back down and when the second run was done, the toast was good. But out ran a little cockroach with his arse on fire.
Hmmm...remove the toast, push the lever down again, and again, and after 5 cycles I had forced 18 cockroaches out of their hotel. The toaster went in the bin, and I went to the Base XO to demand a move to a better building, which we got.
Hmmm...remove the toast, push the lever down again, and again, and after 5 cycles I had forced 18 cockroaches out of their hotel. The toaster went in the bin, and I went to the Base XO to demand a move to a better building, which we got.
Said scuttling insects were never seen again. Maybe the survivors fled to a certain cobwebbed village pub and died of loneliness...
Grub was always good at Colerne, especially on AOC's day.
Last edited by stevef; 19th Jun 2022 at 14:09.
