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Old 16th Feb 2022, 13:00
  #61 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by PlasticCabDriver
1400 pages of Emperor Mong stories on Arsse…

The Emperor Mongs Pronouncements
Thanks for providing the link to AARSE. I had been on there for so many years (different ID) and typed that without thinking it wouldn’t be common knowledge amongst the more refined characters here.

I must have another look and see if I had contributed!

Last edited by MPN11; 16th Feb 2022 at 17:19.
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 15:45
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Originally Posted by ShyTorque
We live on a private cul de sac. We have neighbours opposite who have made all sorts of petty complaints against us. For example, they are “disgusted” that we have too many cars here (all our cars are parked on our private property). They complain if water runs off our drive into the road when my son washes his car, claiming that it makes the road slippery. They complained that over the Christmas period delivery vans used OUR driveway to turn around, even though the deliveries aren’t coming here and they live further down the road, so these vehicles don’t even go as far down as their frontage. I’ve also been accused of “being very noisy” although I’m known by everyone else as a very quietly spoken person and when I asked her what she meant by this she couldn’t give an example. The man of the house exhibits strange behaviour, such as coming out his house wearing a mask and pretending to polish his car if we are in our front garden. Recently he has been wearing a face mask, sitting in his car with the engine running, the doors open and with the radio blaring out at must be close to full volume. There’s no way I’d let him see my bum!

Perhaps your neighbour requires a visit from some crewmen………
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 16:22
  #63 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by langleybaston
A pipes and drums CD is a good countermeasure. One understands that massed bums are available as an optional extra.
Remember, the definition of a true gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 16:25
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I always thought that the definition of a gentleman was he always took the weight on his elbows .... & the definition of a lady was that she always said thank you afterwards 😜
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 16:39
  #65 (permalink)  

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always thought that the definition of a gentleman was he always took the weight on his elbows
.....and always gets out of the bath to pee.
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 16:48
  #66 (permalink)  

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and always gets out of the bath to pee.
Nah, it keeps the water warm
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 18:08
  #67 (permalink)  

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Originally Posted by Q-SKI
Perhaps your neighbour requires a visit from some crewmen………
Better not arrive by car, turn around in my driveway, wet the road or make any noise though. I’d hate to upset the silly old fools!
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 19:23
  #68 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Herod
Nah, it keeps the water warm
Understood, but what about breaking wind?

1,2,3,4 ............ a definition of a puff adder.
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 19:51
  #69 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Jackjones1
I always thought that the definition of a gentleman was he always took the weight on his elbows .... & the definition of a lady was that she always said thank you afterwards 😜
Since we've mentioned PJ O'Rourke already:

"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life"

Thud and Blunder
I taught AT and another just-left-NI pilot on the same Chinook course and they couldn't have been more different. AT always fully-prep'd, on time and ready to go; flew beautifully, worked with the crew to get the best out of the aircraft - exemplary. Not surprised he went far, fast.
I think we must have overlapped at 240, I taught him when he later came back to the Puma for a short while and it was obvious then that he was well aware of his destiny.


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Old 16th Feb 2022, 20:05
  #70 (permalink)  
 
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[QUOTE=langleybaston;11185276]Understood, but what about breaking wind?

I always wondered what inspired the inventor of the jacuzzi !
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Old 16th Feb 2022, 20:13
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.....They’re all at it, sigh, so much for Officer and gentlemen.....

I'm sure you'd know Nutty, although stones and glass houses comes to mind.

If he had only (instead of ceremonially parading minus kit) carved naughty bits from soap and presented his execrable artworks to female coworkers for giggles, grins and high-jinks Xmas frolics. Oh how everyone would have laughed. Or perhaps not.
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Old 17th Feb 2022, 05:42
  #72 (permalink)  
 
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"The Barren Rocks of Aden" is my favourite tune on the pipes.

I bought a copy of the "Green Leader" tape, which is the cockpit voice recorder of a Rhodesian Canberra attacking the Westlands Farm terrorist camp in Zambia. The attack leader (Chris Dixon) gets to the point where the bombs have come off and his exclamation is: 'Look at the F*&^%$rs run'. I was playing this whilst washing my car and at - what I might call (in another setting) 'the moment critique' a rather old fashioned spinster lady passed my front gate. She never did speak to me again!
Old Duffer
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Old 17th Feb 2022, 11:46
  #73 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by ratpackgreenslug
.....They’re all at it, sigh, so much for Officer and gentlemen.....

I'm sure you'd know Nutty, although stones and glass houses comes to mind.

If he had only (instead of ceremonially parading minus kit) carved naughty bits from soap and presented his execrable artworks to female coworkers for giggles, grins and high-jinks Xmas frolics. Oh how everyone would have laughed. Or perhaps not.

If you cannot see the difference between that and posting naked film of some young lady having sex without permission on the web for all to see including possibly her parents one must feel sorry for you.
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Old 17th Feb 2022, 15:12
  #74 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Old-Duffer
"The Barren Rocks of Aden" is my favourite tune on the pipes.

I bought a copy of the "Green Leader" tape, which is the cockpit voice recorder of a Rhodesian Canberra attacking the Westlands Farm terrorist camp in Zambia. The attack leader (Chris Dixon) gets to the point where the bombs have come off and his exclamation is: 'Look at the F*&^%$rs run'. I was playing this whilst washing my car and at - what I might call (in another setting) 'the moment critique' a rather old fashioned spinster lady passed my front gate. She never did speak to me again!
Old Duffer
In which case, and noting the cheeky increase in thread drift, I trust that neither of these links will cause any offence

Jack
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Old 17th Feb 2022, 21:05
  #75 (permalink)  

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My contribution "Entry into Crater" by the Argyle and Sutherland. https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...tail&FORM=VIRE
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Old 18th Feb 2022, 10:31
  #76 (permalink)  
 
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Argyll please, unlike the football team.
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Old 18th Feb 2022, 13:48
  #77 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Herod
My contribution "Entry into Crater" by the Argyle and Sutherland. https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...tail&FORM=VIRE
There used to be a very good book shop in Crater, until it was too dangerous to visit it!
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Old 18th Feb 2022, 15:24
  #78 (permalink)  

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Sorry, Langley; you are of course right. Careless of me.
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Old 18th Feb 2022, 16:27
  #79 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by langleybaston
Understood, but what about breaking wind?

1,2,3,4 ............ a definition of a puff adder.
Poor mans Jacuzzi
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Old 17th Mar 2022, 07:19
  #80 (permalink)  
 
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I see that he has resigned. Now the big question is, who will replace him?
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