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Caption Competition Mk III

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Old 20th Mar 2023, 15:54
  #18321 (permalink)  
 
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On reaching the Rhine Patton immediately resumed his p155ing contest with Montgomery.
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 15:57
  #18322 (permalink)  
 
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There is absolutely no truth to the rumour that old Blood and Guts ordered newly arrived officers to give him a pat on that.
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 16:02
  #18323 (permalink)  

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Action Man! Now with moving eyes and gripping hands. By Palitoy!
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 16:12
  #18324 (permalink)  
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Aaargghhh! I've caught the end in my zipper!
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 16:23
  #18325 (permalink)  
 
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For once in his life Patton sought advice and asked which way the wind was blowing.
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 18:37
  #18326 (permalink)  
 
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Prince Albert...where??
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 18:38
  #18327 (permalink)  
 
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The General was caught short....when Monty called and asked was he in Berlin yet...
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 18:40
  #18328 (permalink)  
 
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...later all the fish downstream mysteriously died...
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 18:41
  #18329 (permalink)  
 
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...well if Thames water can discharge 20000 US Gallons a day of untreated sewage, whats a couple of extra dribbles ..
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 18:43
  #18330 (permalink)  
 
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MP looking away...move along, literally NOTHING to see here
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 18:45
  #18331 (permalink)  
 
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Urologists asked for a stool, semen and urine sample, Hoskins ... send them my underpants tonight...
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 19:31
  #18332 (permalink)  
 
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Gen Patton's biographer asked...Shall I include this episode??
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 19:51
  #18333 (permalink)  
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People often remark on my resemblance to George C Scott. Did he piss in the river too?
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 20:05
  #18334 (permalink)  
 
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You realise Sir that all your men will have to wee in the river as they cross .
Yes, I do and remember don't exclude the female nurses...
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 21:04
  #18335 (permalink)  
 
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Well that explains the pearl handled pistols Patton carries, a New Orleans pimp would have them to shoot his hoes that laughed at his small dick.
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 21:17
  #18336 (permalink)  
 
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There see, it’s old blood and guts alright, he’s pissing bricks due to a dose of the clap..
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 22:53
  #18337 (permalink)  
 
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Photographic evidence that not all Americans are always full of wind and piss! They often get rid of one or the other...
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 22:56
  #18338 (permalink)  
 
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Sung to the Eton Boating song....

Patton went down to the water
Patton went down to the stream,
When Patton passed his water,
You couldn't see Paotton for steam
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 23:04
  #18339 (permalink)  
 
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To the tune of 'Knees up Mother brown,,
,Piss pot on my head
Piss pot on my head
Into the river I must go
Pisspot on my head

If we catch you farting
We'll turn you upside down
So, Don't get your knees up
don't get the breeze up
Pisspot's on my head!
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Old 20th Mar 2023, 23:11
  #18340 (permalink)  
 
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Putin! I can piss for longer, higher and further than you!
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