Never fly with a full bladder
Originally Posted by Ascend Charlie View Post
And there is a story of an airborne Mirage pilot being able to remove the seat harness, parachute harness, Mae West, G-suit, unzip one-piece flying suit and wriggle it down, and cr@p in one of his flying gloves. (He finished as a 2-star.)
And there is a story of an airborne Mirage pilot being able to remove the seat harness, parachute harness, Mae West, G-suit, unzip one-piece flying suit and wriggle it down, and cr@p in one of his flying gloves. (He finished as a 2-star.)
The average sortie time of a mirage was around 0.7 hrs. Knuckleheads were renowned for having short attention spans and would have called bingo fuel before finishing the job.
It was on a ferry flight from Darwin to Isa, big jugs full, he was number 4 in the formation. While attending to his business, the other 3 turned over a navaid, and when he looked up, his mates were nowhere to be seen. Frantic radar search and a blast of power to catch up, ground crew wondered why his bird took more fuel than the others.
Bloggs, it wasn't Jimmy, it was some device.
Bloggs, it wasn't Jimmy, it was some device.
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"A male may urinate in public, so long as it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle, and his right hand is on the vehicle."
Not sure if this is true but a widely held belief. Also not sure if it applies to aeroplanes!!
Not sure if this is true but a widely held belief. Also not sure if it applies to aeroplanes!!
Gentleman Aviator
A current air rank was flying with me over Belfast at 10,000 in the early 90s.
In the Canberra B15 there was a bladder with a metal funnel and cap, usually stored on the floor between the two navigator's bang seats. There was only the aircraft skin between the said device and the outside air temperature of minus 50. After a long transit at height it would be the same temp as the outside air. One day en-route from HK to Singapore the pilot had need of said device. After adjusting his harness and clothing he applied his member to said frozen device. The subsequent rapid removal also removed a large piece of skin!! Very painful and as it was only a couple of weeks after his honeymoon new wifey was not impressed!!
A similar device was also in the Victor 1. One day the Captain used the device, and as he passed it back to a rear crew member, the bung in the bottom fell out depositing the contents onto the fuel system control panel. Carefully returned to Marham and debriefed the groundcrew about the " Spillage of Liquid over the fuel tray" " I know sir, I tasted it - Orange Squash wasn't it" "Yes Chief"
A similar device was also in the Victor 1. One day the Captain used the device, and as he passed it back to a rear crew member, the bung in the bottom fell out depositing the contents onto the fuel system control panel. Carefully returned to Marham and debriefed the groundcrew about the " Spillage of Liquid over the fuel tray" " I know sir, I tasted it - Orange Squash wasn't it" "Yes Chief"
Avoid imitations
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a metal funnel and cap
The only time I was one used was during the Majunga detachment. It was mounted on a wooden plinth, stuffed with issue condoms and presented to the member of the Sergeant's Mess, deemed "Animal of the week". One F/E won it 6 weeks in succesion.
The "orange squash" attribute also works in reverse .... on the Herc we had latrines that simply vented overboard ... whilst on a USAF exchange visit doing some close-ish formation work with a USAF Herc "uptight" behind us a certain ALM with a well known penchant for practical jokes poured the best part of a gallon of orange squash down the latrine ...... cue much swearing from the trailing Herc and after several expletives the question .. "who the **** can pee for that long !!! " ........ 😆
Alan Shepard, the United States first man in space, was known as "The Ice Commander". I was fortunate to shake his hand at a signing of his (and Deke Slayton's) book, Moon Shot. Lengthy holds delayed his launch atop his Redstone rocket on 5 May, 1961, and after relieving his aching bladder into his spacesuit, he told Capcom:"Let's light this candle!" And off he went. He did sign two books for me, and as he handed them to me, I said:"Admiral, thanks for lighting that candle." He fixed me with his steel-blue eyes for what seemed an eternity, then gave me a toothy grin and a wink. One of those moments one never forgets....
Here is a detailed description of Shepard's Orange Smash adventure, excerpted from Real Clear Science:
On May 5, 1961, astronaut Alan Shepard became the first American to fly in space. He did not, however, become the first American to urinate in space, as he had already relieved himself in his spacesuit while waiting on the launch pad.
The piddle, which eventually short circuited Shepard's medical data sensors, was the result of a physiological oversight by NASA. Agency officials figured that the astronaut would be able to "hold it" for the five hours that he was suited. Due to launch delays, however, Shepard ended up spending a total of eight hours in his restrictive garb, firmly fastened to the lone seat within the Mercury capsule. There was no possible way for him to get up and use the container for liquid waste, which was supposedly located near the entrance hatch.
Before Shepard's historic mission, attempts were already underway to devise a urinary collection device for long duration flights. One of the earliest efforts was born out of the United States' U-2 program. A long-distance, high-altitude reconnaissance aircraft, the U-2, which is still in service today, flies at 70,000 feet, and thus requires its pilots to don partial pressure suits. So that the plane's pilots could relive themselves during extended flights, early versions of these suits made use of an in-dwelling catheter, "a tube threaded up the length of the penis inside the urethra and into the bladder." Urine that enters the bladder is siphoned through the tube and into a bag. As you can imagine, this was not a popular solution. Such a device evokes an indescribably awkward pain when inserted, and remains uncomfortable throughout its stay in the urinary tract.
After Alan Shepard's momentous flight, NASA hired James McBarron to oversee the efforts of B.F. Goodrich -- the company that designed the Mercury spacesuits -- to incorporate a urinary collection device. Their efforts came to fruition in time for John Glenn's 1962 orbital flight. The device they created consisted of "a wearable containment belt, latex roll-on cuff, plastic tube, valve and clamp, and a plastic collection bag." John Glenn made good use of it, excreting a substantial twenty-seven ounces of fluid during his single space urination, a full seven ounces more than the capacity of the average human bladder.
Why such a large amount? Nerves lining the bladder sense when liquid starts to accumulate, prompting initial urges to pee when the bladder is only one-third full. But low-gravity environments throw a wrinkle in this system. As Mary Roach explained in :
"In zero gravity, the urine doesn't collect at the bottom of the bladder. Only when the bladder is almost completely full do the sides begin to stretch and trigger the urge. And by then the bladder may be so full that it's pressing the urethra shut."Luckily, John Glenn's urinary collection device worked splendidly. Otherwise, he would have been in for a damp, disagreeable trip around the Earth.
- Ed
My uncle was President and CEO of B.F. Goodrich when that company designed and built the Mercury series space suit. Behind his desk, my uncle had hung a large oil portrait of a beautiful sky with large puffy cumuli. The brass placard beneath the painting identified it as "The Goodrich Blimp"!
Here is a detailed description of Shepard's Orange Smash adventure, excerpted from Real Clear Science:
On May 5, 1961, astronaut Alan Shepard became the first American to fly in space. He did not, however, become the first American to urinate in space, as he had already relieved himself in his spacesuit while waiting on the launch pad.
The piddle, which eventually short circuited Shepard's medical data sensors, was the result of a physiological oversight by NASA. Agency officials figured that the astronaut would be able to "hold it" for the five hours that he was suited. Due to launch delays, however, Shepard ended up spending a total of eight hours in his restrictive garb, firmly fastened to the lone seat within the Mercury capsule. There was no possible way for him to get up and use the container for liquid waste, which was supposedly located near the entrance hatch.
Before Shepard's historic mission, attempts were already underway to devise a urinary collection device for long duration flights. One of the earliest efforts was born out of the United States' U-2 program. A long-distance, high-altitude reconnaissance aircraft, the U-2, which is still in service today, flies at 70,000 feet, and thus requires its pilots to don partial pressure suits. So that the plane's pilots could relive themselves during extended flights, early versions of these suits made use of an in-dwelling catheter, "a tube threaded up the length of the penis inside the urethra and into the bladder." Urine that enters the bladder is siphoned through the tube and into a bag. As you can imagine, this was not a popular solution. Such a device evokes an indescribably awkward pain when inserted, and remains uncomfortable throughout its stay in the urinary tract.
After Alan Shepard's momentous flight, NASA hired James McBarron to oversee the efforts of B.F. Goodrich -- the company that designed the Mercury spacesuits -- to incorporate a urinary collection device. Their efforts came to fruition in time for John Glenn's 1962 orbital flight. The device they created consisted of "a wearable containment belt, latex roll-on cuff, plastic tube, valve and clamp, and a plastic collection bag." John Glenn made good use of it, excreting a substantial twenty-seven ounces of fluid during his single space urination, a full seven ounces more than the capacity of the average human bladder.
Why such a large amount? Nerves lining the bladder sense when liquid starts to accumulate, prompting initial urges to pee when the bladder is only one-third full. But low-gravity environments throw a wrinkle in this system. As Mary Roach explained in :
"In zero gravity, the urine doesn't collect at the bottom of the bladder. Only when the bladder is almost completely full do the sides begin to stretch and trigger the urge. And by then the bladder may be so full that it's pressing the urethra shut."Luckily, John Glenn's urinary collection device worked splendidly. Otherwise, he would have been in for a damp, disagreeable trip around the Earth.
- Ed
My uncle was President and CEO of B.F. Goodrich when that company designed and built the Mercury series space suit. Behind his desk, my uncle had hung a large oil portrait of a beautiful sky with large puffy cumuli. The brass placard beneath the painting identified it as "The Goodrich Blimp"!
I was proudly watching a member of my family displaying a Lynx just off the beach a few years ago. Suddenly, at the end of his display, he shot off and landed on a RFA ship anchored off. I thought, "I didn't think that was supposed to happen." Apparently he got caught short and needed the "facilities" rather quickly. The worst bit was trying to obey the notices around the flight deck "No Running"!
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First, we didn't have a 'crewman' as such and they were very busy in the back. Second, we thought about the sickbag...... none available!
We discussed a "swamp"......... rejected!!
I was massively impressed by him that night, it was pretty cold
We discussed a "swamp"......... rejected!!
I was massively impressed by him that night, it was pretty cold
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I was rather surprised to be trusted to go “solo” on ground running a Whirlwind 10 at Chetwynd on my second ever trip.
My QHI was in desperate need to inspect a tree.
My QHI was in desperate need to inspect a tree.
Gentleman Aviator
My QHI was in desperate need to inspect a tree.
On the "Navex" from Ternhill to Valley - using the Alpha 5 Linear Navaid - my instructor gave a quick "I have control" and swiftly put us down in a field, unstrapped and ran to the hedge, and then walked back in a more relaxed manner, to resume the trip. [of course, I had nearly 20 hours rotary at the time .......]
Oh dear - having checked Log Book Volume 1 to confirm dates etc, I discover that was more than 50 years ago..........
"Mildly" Eccentric Stardriver
Hi teeteringhead; Love the phrase Alpha 5 Linear Navaid, but I don't think many people would understand it nowadays. A fine piece of IFR equipment. I have a lovely photo on the wall of a Sioux over the Menai Bridge. I did that navex in the Whirlwind, just prior to the sea and mountain phase. September '66. Was there ever such a date?: it seems as though from another world
Gentleman Aviator
Hi Herod. Took me an hour-and-a-half in the Sioux (including pee break!). Into a headwind so we were overtaken by many cars........
And me being a young chap, that was in November '69.
And me being a young chap, that was in November '69.
"Mildly" Eccentric Stardriver
That's not bad at all. I flew the westbound twice in Westlands "speedster", and logged 1:50 and 1:20. Only one eastbound, and we must have found the jet stream! Only 1:15
t'head and Herod - the nostalgia buzz again! A tour at Valley followed by one at TH made for a multitude of vivid memories - in retrospect, probably the busiest 'work' period in my Service time and all the better for it.From Cedric down, a super group to work with and for!