Caption Competition Mk II

[Kiltrash]

The Jewellers in Coven Gardens find a uncrackable safe for the deposit boxes in a secure location

[Kiltrash]

I would like to see the Ninja Squirrel get at this bird seeder

[Kiltrash]

The only way Pierre can get the World record Onion to Chelsea Flower Show

[c52]

It's going to be mounted on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square to remind everyone that if they're worried about their eyesight, they don't need to trouble an optician but should just hop in a car and drive 60 miles. If they don't kill anyone, their eyes are fine.

[Kiltrash]

Thr Dinosaur egg starts cracking

[Kiltrash]

With luck not even Dominic can drive this out of bounds

[Kiltrash]

Thr 'Outspan' car is taken to the paint shop on Dagenham

[Kiltrash]

To ensure they do not get a Man Utd Vs Man City semi final in the draw the FA use balls of different sizes

[cavuman1]

If you think that Wiffleball is big, wait 'til you see the bat!

- Ed

[Buster Hyman]

Prime Minister, the Chinese say it's theirs and this is now Chinese Territorial waters!

[c52]

The PM believes he is bomb-proof, so the military have kindly come up with a demonstration of it for him.

[Kiltrash]

The PM desperate to bring rebel Tory MP's into line floats a 1:1 model on the Coronavirus down the Thames.

[Kiltrash]

Determined to win the annual 10 pin bowling competition, Diana Abbott designs a slightly larger ball with finger holes to suit her hands.

[Kiltrash]

Police investigation at the East End of London Docks. " Well Gov fell off the back of a lorry ....."

[Kiltrash]

Boris is pleased to note the media attention is now outside parliament

[Kiltrash]

#Remainers deliver a suggestion box to the House of Commons. As to how Boris can move on
( alarmed ) ...But that's a giant WW2 Sea Mine...
( innocently ) ...oh is it?

[Wensleydale]

No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.

[Chu Chu]

Even as the first prototype nears delivery, it is obvious that decades of work remain before the London Eye is perfected.

[Kiltrash]

It's a giant garden pot for Triffids

[c52]

The Prime Minister is delighted to announce that Great Britain has captured a UFO, and will his colleagues and the press and the public please pay it all possible attention.

Later it turns out that the UFO had been stolen by the SAS from the Teddington film studios.