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Best Messages Ever

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Best Messages Ever

Old 22nd Sep 2018, 12:16
  #21 (permalink)  
 
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FROM OC 205 SQN
'AOC EXTREMELY DISPLEASED YOUR DEPARTURE CHANGI. YOU ARE NOT REPEAT NOT TO CARRY OUT ANY FURTHER FLYPASTS EN ROUTE UK'

It was unfortunate the AOC was having a late breakfast on his balcony prior to the formal closure of FEAF.
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 12:59
  #22 (permalink)  
 
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Talking of late lamented Blue Letters, I was a student on the Chartered Management Accountants Course at Worthy Down in the late 80s when as I passed the Chief instructor's office he called out that he had had a letter in his desk drawer for me for over a week. handed it to me and as my fevered fingers tore open the envelope asked if it was important. I explained that it told me of impending promotion to wg cdr. He apologised for not having given it to me earlier but had assumed my desk officer would have told me, as happened in the Army.

28 years later we had a family in one of our gites, who hailed from Winchester. Conversation covered this and that, until he said that his Dad had been Royal Army Pay Corps. Penny dropped, the CI of years before was his Dad. Small world. Mind you a month ago two families arrived for the gites on Saturday afternoon. On arrival the second dad had an OMG moment, the first guy here was his (fairly senior) boss in the Cabinet Office, neither was aware they had booked into the same place. Like "In the Thick of It" all week, but good fun
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 13:07
  #23 (permalink)  
 
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After managing to splash 3 Skyhawks when supposedly on our night deck landing qualification flight:


112359Z June 82.

From CTF 317
To HMS HERMES

Another outstanding performance by your outstanding air group. If you can do this on a training flight I look forward to your results when you go operational.

BT

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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 13:36
  #24 (permalink)  
 
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Best naval message? Green White Green pennant, sometimes with a martini glass on it.


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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 14:16
  #25 (permalink)  
wub
 
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A distant relative of mine, a Master Mariner sometime in the 1850s, was known to the family as "The Sea Captain" There is a letter in the family archive which starts, "Dear Mother, I regret to inform you that I have lost another ship".....
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 14:33
  #26 (permalink)  
 
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Whilst not in the witty corner of this Thread, I suppose my best message ever was when, on 16 Aug 93, SASO handed me my sealed letter telling me I had been selected for Redundancy.

The sweet spotwas that I was able to give him, by return of hand, my pre-prepared Leave Pass which covered most of the next 6 months!!
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 14:39
  #27 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Melchett01


Sadly said blue letters are no more - they went as cost/morale saving a good few years ago - they were very welcome messages and a nice pat on ththe back from a VSO when you got a personal handwritten one. I found out my last promotion by an instant message from a friend at Air who was under the impression I’d already been told when he congratulated me! I guess that still counts as a ‘best message’ as long as you can guarantee it’s not a wind up.
Station Commander at my current unit hand writes all promotees, officer and NCO, a letter of congratulations.
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 14:48
  #28 (permalink)  
 
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WOWZA!!! He's destined for greatness!
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 15:00
  #29 (permalink)  
 
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It also happens to us in the civilian world. When I left the service and got the ATPL there was forced retirement for airline pilots at 60. As a result all the financial planning (paying off mortgages, endowment maturity, pensions) etc was based on being out of work on the 60th birthday.

3 months before this birthday, a letter arrived offering a 'shed load of money' if I took redundancy - effective in 3 months time!!

Mrs Staircase was convinced it was a wind up from the 'mates', until I put her on the 'dog and bone' to the line manager.

Mind you with the bank of mum and dad called on for kids housing, a couple of weddings and a boat soon saw most of it off.
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 15:08
  #30 (permalink)  
 
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Sent from jungle location at the end of a survival training exercise, awaiting hello pick up:

Require 24T+CO2
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Old 22nd Sep 2018, 17:09
  #31 (permalink)  
 
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Granby, junglie returning, apparently not impressed with flying underslung spuds to the frigates. Yank on the safety net...Britsh military helo...schrrrrch..circling 1 nautical mile astern..schrrch...please do not repeat that last manouvre
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 05:47
  #32 (permalink)  
 
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An army major received a letter which wrongly gave his commissioning date as 981 as opposed to 1981. He wrote claiming£ £X million pounds in back pay. The MoD replied stating that there was a discrepancy of £X million plus £1000 for arrows at the battle of Agincourt of 1415, as he appeared to be the only survivor would he settle the account at the earliest opportunity.
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 07:16
  #33 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by downsizer
Station Commander at my current unit hand writes all promotees, officer and NCO, a letter of congratulations.
The cynic is me says that just shows either how few are left in the Air Force or how few actually get promoted! It reminds me of the mid 90's when to even gt on teh board you needed 3 9's and a spec rec per year for the last five years.....
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 08:02
  #34 (permalink)  
 
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Funny that- some years before the joke was that for a certain chino-graph board chasing branch it was; Three "unsuitables" and one "Not yet fit".
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 08:28
  #35 (permalink)  
 
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Haraka would that be the ridiculous Op Support 'Phone-answering Branch'? Does it still exist?

Even after my first Spec Rec (and a personal comment from SASO who tapped me on the shoulder at the 1996 AAR conference in Gateway House - "Just seen your 1369 - outstanding!"), it took 2 further SRs before I was promoted - as a Spec Aircrew Sqn Ldr. I failed to see the point of promotion boards which didn't respect the value of the Spec Rec system....
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 08:45
  #36 (permalink)  
 
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I failed to see the point of promotion boards which didn't respect the value of the Spec Rec system
I had seen far too many dissatisfied squadron leaders moaning about their daily commute to London from Lincolnshire and in constant discussion about the best moment to PVR: this only reinforced my desire to stay on as specialist aircrew rather than follow the rat-race (moving the family about was not really an option with my daughters in a very good secondary school). This did not sit well with most of my second ROs who couldn't understand my reluctance to enter the monkey tree, with the result that I achieved my ambition and retired on a very good PAS pension. One supportive 1st RO however told me that he would rather have keen spec aircrew working for him rather than a disgruntled overlooked flt lt and supported my plans.
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 12:30
  #37 (permalink)  
 
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I failed to see the point of promotion boards which didn't respect the value of the Spec Rec system
The promotion boards I sat on certainly did respect the value of the Spec Rec system - an SR guaranteed the individual would be read by the board. What it didn't do was guarantee promotion because you still had to have your ability, performance and potential weighed against those of your peers, and there is always a finite number of promotion slots whatever one's rank/branch/trade, which means some very worthy individuals lose out. Not ideal, but people have tried and failed over the years to come up with a more equitable system that still meets the Service need.

Thread drift! Anyone have any good messages to share?
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 12:53
  #38 (permalink)  
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
 
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OK

"You were 5th on the board but only 4 slots. However you are the only one available for the embassy in Kabul"

Not me but someone I know ☺
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 13:28
  #39 (permalink)  
 
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Very dark, starless night off North Cape; SHAR sent to investigate non-squawking contact behaving oddly 90 miles north of the ship. Steely-eyed ace goes in lights-off and radar silent and manages to position himself close underneath a "large aircraft". Unable to identify what it was, said ace pops on the anti-collision light in order to illuminate the underside of the target. This was greeted by an urgent stage whisper on Guard, "Sea Harrier underneath the Nimrod - F*** off!!!"

Ah, how we laughed!
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Old 23rd Sep 2018, 17:06
  #40 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Mogwi
Very dark, starless night off North Cape; SHAR sent to investigate non-squawking contact behaving oddly 90 miles north of the ship. Steely-eyed ace goes in lights-off and radar silent and manages to position himself close underneath a "large aircraft". Unable to identify what it was, said ace pops on the anti-collision light in order to illuminate the underside of the target. This was greeted by an urgent stage whisper on Guard, "Sea Harrier underneath the Nimrod - F*** off!!!"

Ah, how we laughed!
One of those Nimrods, I would imagine.
Also, when I heard the Belfast story (from a Belfast pilot, ~10 years after the event) it was a signal from Singapore and included the phrase "Crew in good spirits and free from scurvy."
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