Catering Tales
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I think the wartime stocks of Plum Jam lasted well into the 50's.
When Coninsby re-opened in 1956, all OR's were eating in the Sgts Mess, the Airmens Mess wasn't finished.
The food was terrible, but we were kept going by the 'it will get better when the new mess is finished' story.
When we moved into the new mess it was terrible.
A National Service guy wrote to his MP.
The Command Catering officer turned up un-announced, at lunch time and he saw how poor the food was.
That night at tea, what we had would have graced the Savoy! This was kept up for about a week, but the level that it fell back to was very good.
When Coninsby re-opened in 1956, all OR's were eating in the Sgts Mess, the Airmens Mess wasn't finished.
The food was terrible, but we were kept going by the 'it will get better when the new mess is finished' story.
When we moved into the new mess it was terrible.
A National Service guy wrote to his MP.
The Command Catering officer turned up un-announced, at lunch time and he saw how poor the food was.
That night at tea, what we had would have graced the Savoy! This was kept up for about a week, but the level that it fell back to was very good.
Falklands 1991, the Death Star, and a rare consignment of mange-tout arrives...
For 2 days we had what is best described as a mange-tout frenzy, with said veg being on the books for every meal, breakfast included. Mange-tout fritters, soup, flan, puree, salad etc. - if you could think of a way of presenting mange-tout, it would be tried. Death by mange-tout was fast becoming an option, it was everywhere and in everything.
Day 3, dinner: "What, no mange-tout?" I enquired gently of the chef. "No Sir, we've used it all!"
For 2 days we had what is best described as a mange-tout frenzy, with said veg being on the books for every meal, breakfast included. Mange-tout fritters, soup, flan, puree, salad etc. - if you could think of a way of presenting mange-tout, it would be tried. Death by mange-tout was fast becoming an option, it was everywhere and in everything.
Day 3, dinner: "What, no mange-tout?" I enquired gently of the chef. "No Sir, we've used it all!"
During a 3 week long full tactical Ex, two ground leccys appeared with McDonalds wrappers and cups. Where the F'in H*** did you get them from we all asked. "The DS got them for us, all you need is the code words depending on what meal you want"
Cue - two days & a torrent of nonsensical phrases and name calling to the DS causing so much bemusement.
Wasn't until day 3 of trying, when the two lads actually said they had bought the MacDonald's in advance of the Ex & carefully folded the wrappers up in their bergens, to be opened at a suitable time in the exercise.
Laugh or Cry. We didn't know what to do.
Cue - two days & a torrent of nonsensical phrases and name calling to the DS causing so much bemusement.
Wasn't until day 3 of trying, when the two lads actually said they had bought the MacDonald's in advance of the Ex & carefully folded the wrappers up in their bergens, to be opened at a suitable time in the exercise.
Laugh or Cry. We didn't know what to do.
I will never forget the quite amazing meals that the Chefs at Gutersloh managed to provide when the helicopter force was deployed to the field. OK, they had fresh rations, but with only very basic cooking equipment they did an amazing job. Funny how AAC aircraft always seemed to pop in to our site around meal times!
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Late 60's,Changi Airmens Mess...Orderly Officer doing his rounds.
Any complaints?
One young airman complained that it was the same old choice everyday.
OO looks around the mess. Indian bar, Chinese bar, etc etc giving 32 choices of main meal.
OO smiles at young airman and advises him not to get married!
and in the dessert:
anyone remember the triangular sausages served up at El Adem?
Any complaints?
One young airman complained that it was the same old choice everyday.
OO looks around the mess. Indian bar, Chinese bar, etc etc giving 32 choices of main meal.
OO smiles at young airman and advises him not to get married!
and in the dessert:
anyone remember the triangular sausages served up at El Adem?
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Leuchars, mid seventies. Q.R.A. meals all provided by the Officers Mess.
As designated driver, only one allowed out of the Q.R.A. shed unless in an F4, on way to pick up chef and rations when hooter goes.
Q.R.A. is exempt so continue to O.M.
Get to tradesman's entrance and informed no chef was available as they were all on guard.
Sergeant i/c says no rations either but you can have these. 200 roast duck freshly cooked for the now cancelled dining in night!
It is possible to have too much of a good thing
As designated driver, only one allowed out of the Q.R.A. shed unless in an F4, on way to pick up chef and rations when hooter goes.
Q.R.A. is exempt so continue to O.M.
Get to tradesman's entrance and informed no chef was available as they were all on guard.
Sergeant i/c says no rations either but you can have these. 200 roast duck freshly cooked for the now cancelled dining in night!
It is possible to have too much of a good thing
Sepulot, in the middle of Sabah Province, North Boneo, 1966 in the middle of Confrontation by Indonesia. Pitched up with my Whirlwind Mk 10 to take over the RN's tasking because both their cabs are sick. Billeted in the Ghurkhas Officers basha with my own room, bed. mossy net and side table. Dinner is called. We eat off regimental crockery and the Tiger is served in silver goblets. After dinner we retire to the veranda and listen to the wildlife of the jungle's evening chorus.
On exchange with a foreign Air Force, I was about to go on exercise and picked up my lunch box before adding a Mars Bar from the Squadron Crewroom Shop. I also bought a few extra Mars Bars which I shoved into my Bergen. During our lunch stop I and my colleagues tucked into our rat boxes. One saw the Mars Bar in my box and said "Hey, how come you got a Mars Bar and we didn't?" I didn't say anything but opened my Bergen and handed him one. On seeing the stash of several Mars Bars he then berated me for taking them out of other people's boxes. Still I didn't respond. Half an hour later, after he had spoken to the rest of the detachment, he realised that there hadn't ever been any Mars Bars in the lunch boxes and humbly proferred his apologies! He didn't hear the end of it for the rest of the det.....and most it came from his own colleagues!
I was with 99 Sqn in the early 1960's and have a couple of catering (lunchbox) memories.
The Best Lunch Box
Best lunch box I remember was that supplied from Embakasi in Nairobi in Sept 1961.
With some sort of trouble brewing in the Gulf it was decided the Army brigade based in East Africa would be transferred to Bahrain, a long Britannia flog of many hours - Embakasi - Khormaksar - Bahrain and then back again to do the same trip several times over to get the brigade to up Bahrain.
Anyway on the first trip we left Embakasi, dished out the lunch boxes to the squaddies in the back and then heard mutterings of complaint. When asked what was wrong, the general consensus was that the 'jam' tasted salty. It turned out each lunch box contained a small pot of something to be spread on the rolls or biscuits or whatever and the contents were very salty.
Investigation quickly showed the pots were in fact pots of Caviar, real Caviar and not ersatz Lumpfish roe. This was not immediately obvious to the troops so we collected any unopened and unwanted pots and put them aside for later crew use.
Their loss was our gain!
Later, but not with 99 sqn - the worst lunchbox ever - for me anyway.
Lunchbox as provided by civilian caterers at Khartoum in 1979.
A couple of ropey rolls and two dead bananas - so awful I had to photograph it for posterity. Mind you it couldn't have been too bad because ISTR none of the crew had to be hospitalised afterwards!
The Best Lunch Box
Best lunch box I remember was that supplied from Embakasi in Nairobi in Sept 1961.
With some sort of trouble brewing in the Gulf it was decided the Army brigade based in East Africa would be transferred to Bahrain, a long Britannia flog of many hours - Embakasi - Khormaksar - Bahrain and then back again to do the same trip several times over to get the brigade to up Bahrain.
Anyway on the first trip we left Embakasi, dished out the lunch boxes to the squaddies in the back and then heard mutterings of complaint. When asked what was wrong, the general consensus was that the 'jam' tasted salty. It turned out each lunch box contained a small pot of something to be spread on the rolls or biscuits or whatever and the contents were very salty.
Investigation quickly showed the pots were in fact pots of Caviar, real Caviar and not ersatz Lumpfish roe. This was not immediately obvious to the troops so we collected any unopened and unwanted pots and put them aside for later crew use.
Their loss was our gain!
Later, but not with 99 sqn - the worst lunchbox ever - for me anyway.
Lunchbox as provided by civilian caterers at Khartoum in 1979.
A couple of ropey rolls and two dead bananas - so awful I had to photograph it for posterity. Mind you it couldn't have been too bad because ISTR none of the crew had to be hospitalised afterwards!
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One year in Victoria (SE Australia) at Balcome Army Camp, the only living in Officer at Xmas, decided to give the Mess Staff a break so told them he wouldnt be in for lunch and they could go home to their families, he was going to the beach.
At 1200, on the Beach, a Staff car Heavy arrived and out came the mess staff in full formal attire and trooped down the beach carrying large silver platters, a table, chair, and an ice box.
The poor hossifer had to sit at the table, and be served his 3 course Xmas lunch with dessert and wine. Much to the mirth of the general public on the beach..
At 1200, on the Beach, a Staff car Heavy arrived and out came the mess staff in full formal attire and trooped down the beach carrying large silver platters, a table, chair, and an ice box.
The poor hossifer had to sit at the table, and be served his 3 course Xmas lunch with dessert and wine. Much to the mirth of the general public on the beach..
I remember my first tour fondly for several reasons, one of them being the Mess was heaving with first and second tourists who enjoyed the operational work and then enjoyed a convivial evening most days. Dining in nights were no exception and we didn’t think twice about going to McDonalds for a few happy meals and persuading the Mess Stewards to replace Mr Vice’s starter with said hamburger and plastic toy. One day they tried it on me and when the burger arrived I called the Steward over. I was slightly more senior having joined up with extra seniority courtesy of my MSc and they all thought the grumpy flt lt was going to have a paddy. Instead I simply asked for cutlery - standards don’t you know - and when asked if I was really going to eat it replied of course, I’ve seen who’s on duty in the kitchen and this will be the best thing all night.
Several months later I somehow found myself living on a balcony in Baghdad eating MREs daily for 4 months, using my bayonet to make marmite sandwiches and being taught how to make MRE bombs by our tame USMC Gunny. The EOD unit didn’t see the funny side!
Several months later I somehow found myself living on a balcony in Baghdad eating MREs daily for 4 months, using my bayonet to make marmite sandwiches and being taught how to make MRE bombs by our tame USMC Gunny. The EOD unit didn’t see the funny side!
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Gatow circa 1968. Officers Mess entry in Messing Suggestions Book. “Sqn Ldr X, nut and bolt in mashed potato and Flt Lt Y, screw and washer in cabbage, would like to meet with any other Mess members interested in forming a light engineering company”
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Then there was Jenkins
Cpl Jenkins was a steward at Cottesmore. Not sure where he worked but probably the feeder. Now Jenkins always seemed to get on the dispersal exercises. I don't think the SACs liked him because he was so efficient.
First time was at Ballykelly. We arrived, turned the aircraft round and came up on state and then went the dispersal accommodation. There, tables laid with fresh linen, Jenkins brought out our post-flight meal, ham eggs and chips I think - all five at once. The other 3 crews received the same superb attention. The exercise continued with Jenkins managing the Bomber Command 4-hr eating cycle. Later we had afternoon tea before stacking for the night, a few beers in the Mess, steaks in the bar, and back to our bedrooms in the dispersal, but not before supper where Jenkins produced more ham and eggs.
Another time at Pershore Jenkins contains in that vein but found time to light a coal fire in the crew room.
While he was not officially a cook he turns his hand to anything and made the austere dispersal into comfortable mini-Messes. To my shame we never saw how our groundless fares as once on state our movement was limited and on stand down we would go to the Mess or off base.
First time was at Ballykelly. We arrived, turned the aircraft round and came up on state and then went the dispersal accommodation. There, tables laid with fresh linen, Jenkins brought out our post-flight meal, ham eggs and chips I think - all five at once. The other 3 crews received the same superb attention. The exercise continued with Jenkins managing the Bomber Command 4-hr eating cycle. Later we had afternoon tea before stacking for the night, a few beers in the Mess, steaks in the bar, and back to our bedrooms in the dispersal, but not before supper where Jenkins produced more ham and eggs.
Another time at Pershore Jenkins contains in that vein but found time to light a coal fire in the crew room.
While he was not officially a cook he turns his hand to anything and made the austere dispersal into comfortable mini-Messes. To my shame we never saw how our groundless fares as once on state our movement was limited and on stand down we would go to the Mess or off base.
Gentleman Aviator
lb
But (probably) as I was once advised by a subaltern of some fractional cavalwy wegiment in the field on a similar occasion:
"It's only the travelling silver dontcherknow...."
But did some mess silver [really!] have to deploy?
"It's only the travelling silver dontcherknow...."
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Re the butty box, Cpl Rigger at Brize was seen going through the rubbish bags full of the used in flight butty boxes during a major RAFG exercise, ( we were sending plane after plane out full of pongoes), later he was seen doing the same in the skip. It turned out he had opened a box and noticed it had a Shiphams meat paste jar in it and on the label it stated something along the lines of collect 5 labels for a £1 and there were just over 156 labels per flight, times that by several flights and it started to add up to a fair bit of money at the time.
Last edited by NutLoose; 14th Sep 2018 at 10:25.
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Catering memories:
Cranwell early 50s: late supper kept warm for returning sportsmen to help themselves - pilchards tinned in tomato sauce, dipped in batter and deep-fried. Surprisingly tasty.
Gibraltar late 50s: late lunch for arriving crew - the remains of the meal prepared for the SoS and party, on their way to S America. It started with lobster and went on from there.
El Adem also late 50s: early breakfast for departure to Eastleigh - fried sliced spam and dried egg 'omelette'. Edible, but one nav started with cereal and the reconstituted milk got him about 4 hours later. Straight to SSQ on arrival.
Cranwell early 50s: late supper kept warm for returning sportsmen to help themselves - pilchards tinned in tomato sauce, dipped in batter and deep-fried. Surprisingly tasty.
Gibraltar late 50s: late lunch for arriving crew - the remains of the meal prepared for the SoS and party, on their way to S America. It started with lobster and went on from there.
El Adem also late 50s: early breakfast for departure to Eastleigh - fried sliced spam and dried egg 'omelette'. Edible, but one nav started with cereal and the reconstituted milk got him about 4 hours later. Straight to SSQ on arrival.
AEW Shacks. Three radar screens, four operators, so a ready made chef. Take off, galley on, tea and coffee all round, swiftly followed by hot dogs. That gave time to do bacon, sausage, fried eggs, beans and mushrooms. Lunch - endless possibilities, but “honkers” stew was always a favourite. Oh by the way, the menu didn’t really relate to take off time either...Away for the night at, I think, Honington. Explained to their caterers that we might be tasked for QRA when airborne, so had to ration accordingly. Airborne, aimed for home, in flight raffle.....and the winner of the bacon is.....the captain - loud cries of “fix”!
And yes I was a better cook than I was an AEW Op.
And yes I was a better cook than I was an AEW Op.
RAF Colerne, gate guard duty sometime in the early 70s. I forget what the usual routine for late supper was but clearly remember on one occasion an amorphous meal of chips, beans and a broken fried egg being delivered to us in a soggy paper bag. No cutlery either.
Warmtoast’s photo reminded me on coming back from TELIC. Having spent a good part of the year away in Incirlik then Baghdad, with Baghdad being US MREs for months I finally returned to the bosom of the caring RAF when I got down to Basra for the trip back to Blighty. Usual Movements faff meant we arrived about 24 hrs early and other than counting the bullet holes and playing I spy there wasn’t much to do and no shops open in the International terminal. It was like a Middle East version of Brize.
Sensing they probably should feed us they brought a boiler out, a box of tea bags and a big box of sausage rolls. The only problem with the rolls was on inspection and checking the ingredients we decided they probably had a half life rather than a shelf life and they were frozen solid. Stick a charge bag behind them and you could easily fire it from a Chally 2 and take out an Iraqi tank with one. When we asked about how we were supposed to defrost them, ‘dunno’ was the (obvious) answer, so we ended up turning the boiler up to full and wrapping the outside with sausage rolls hoping the heat would defrost them sometime before we died of starvation. In hindsight, it’s probably just as well we couldn’t defrost them. Survive the war, felled by MOD rations on the way home doesn’t make for a good war story to impress the girls!
Sensing they probably should feed us they brought a boiler out, a box of tea bags and a big box of sausage rolls. The only problem with the rolls was on inspection and checking the ingredients we decided they probably had a half life rather than a shelf life and they were frozen solid. Stick a charge bag behind them and you could easily fire it from a Chally 2 and take out an Iraqi tank with one. When we asked about how we were supposed to defrost them, ‘dunno’ was the (obvious) answer, so we ended up turning the boiler up to full and wrapping the outside with sausage rolls hoping the heat would defrost them sometime before we died of starvation. In hindsight, it’s probably just as well we couldn’t defrost them. Survive the war, felled by MOD rations on the way home doesn’t make for a good war story to impress the girls!
Many decades ago and a very long way south; re-arm at Port San Carlos not only consisted of 30mm and AIM9L but often a couple of upland geese up the back hatch. On RTB the chefs downloaded the geese and processed them. We had enough by the end to use them as a main course for the victory dinner - Goose Galtieri (followed by broccoli ice cream!).
Swing the lamp!
Swing the lamp!