Orderly Dog

[Pontius Navigator]

Originally Posted by Tankertrashnav

a sergeant got out and went across to where the ensign was about to be lowered at 1800. He stood to attention and saluted as it came down, then got back in his car and drove back out of the camp.

Also it's now a duty which can be carried out from home - no requirement to stay and sleep on camp any more.

On one occasion I forgot I was OO and went home. The Sgt Adjt covered up for me and apart from some beer I heard nothing more.

I had recurring nightmares even now and can't distinguish fact from fiction but I certainly i have missed flag lowering and the OS has covered.

Even in the 90s, provided we could react we could stay off base, I was 6 miles away. Rather than don No1s for defaulters I just wore the trench coat Mac. In compensation I would be soft on defaulters just pointing out duster fluff etc.
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[teeteringhead]

I've posted this tale a couple of times before, but a quick search tells me the last time was 4 1/2 years ago so I guess it's time for a re-post:

In the very late 60s - 68 or 69 - the baby pilot APO Teeters was a student at Linton or Syerston (for curious reasons I spent time at both).

One time one was Orderly Officer (OO) being "looked after" by a aged (at least 30!) Orderly Sergeant (OS). One of the later duties - maybe 2130 or so - said:

Draw Commcen keys from Guardroom, 'phone Commcen, go and check security etc. Which we duly did - except the 'phone call.

" But Sergeant - it clearly says 'phone first!"

"Trust me sir..............."

Now the Commcen (WRAF manned) was co-located with PBX (ditto),and was also where Duty WRAF hung out. About 5 girls in all, with 2 or 3 bunks (double or triple).

Now in those days, Airpersons' uniforms were made of blue blankets,known affectionally (NOT!) as "Hairy Blues". Which irritated exposed skin more than somewhat - so the girls had removed their skirts.

I should also add that this was before tights had gained general acceptance.

Net result: OO and OS confronted by 5 x Section Officer Harveys. (Poorer quality shirts, but good legs!)

Which explained the lack of a 'phone call. (Thank you Sergeant!). And they were in mid brew-up/fry-up.

"Oh hello Sir, fancy a brew and a bacon butty?" (I assure you nothing else was offered )

A stitch up for the baby pilot for sure - but a most welcome one which I remember in detail.

And I STILL remember!

[RFCC]

Honington in the mid 70s. The Ord Off and Ord Sgt pitch up together for the morning flag raising. Now, the flag pole was located opposite the guardroom at the main gate and so there were always plenty of customers for the standing to attention bit. Comes the time to raise, the OS can't find the whistle and after a panic search, still no whistle. "Well, YOU'LL just have to whistle" says the Ord Off to the Ord Sgt. Just try pursing you lips to whistle with the Ord Off facing you grinning like a Cheshire cat and an attentive audience from the many troops passing by.

[Pontius Navigator]

At ISK the flag got stuck. I think the rope got looped over the gaff. Consternation. I calmly told the OS to organise a cherry picker PDQ before John Pack the staish saw it.

He was held in high regard and MT soon had the flag fixed. Don't know if JP ever knew.

[BATCO]

Fire!

As the Station Rock at RAF Swinderby (about 1984-5) I was responsible for three main areas: initial GDT for all SRT recruits; GDT for the Station (and Lincolnshire County Military HQ); and the Station Fire Section. When, as OO, I was told of a fire in a MQ I duly ordered the Fire FS to the scene. The FS protested that he was there to respond to potential flying incidents not actual fires in MQ. I overruled him and the Fire Section subsequently rescued a lady from the upper floor of the burning MQ well before the local authority fire service arrived.

Carpetted by the Station Commander, I was informed that I didn't control the Fire Section - that honour belonged, he said, to OC ATC - and that I had put the EFT crews at risk by removing their crash/rescue cover. I replied that as far as I recalled I wrote their F6442s, was OC their barrack block and the Fire Section building, and heard their (many, many) Orderly Rooms as Junior Subordinate Commander. If OC ATC wanted to take on those tasks I'd be very happy. I also added for good measure that they had most certainly saved the lady's life.

The carpetting ended abruptly, I retained the Fire Section and the Station Commander bought me a beer at the next happy hour. And I'd do the same again.

Regards
Batco

[BEagle]

Chivenor 1981. OO turns up a couple of minutes early to salute the flag one morning, only to find neither ensign nor Ord Sgt were present. Knowing that the Stn Cdr was a zealot for such things, he goes off to look for the missing Sgt.

A few minutes later, a little after the appointed hour for ensign hoisting, Ord Sgt rushes up with flag. On seeing no trace of the OO, he decides to blow whistle, hoist ensign, step back and salute it, then blow the whistle again.

All this is observed by an incandescent Stn Cdr, whose temper is raised further when the OO returns. "YOU, MY OFFICE, YOUR HAT NOW!"

Mate attempts to explain, but words fall on deaf ears and he is invited to volunteer for another 7 days of OO...

Later the Stn Cdr's office was moved to the new location in the posh new Handbrake House - and it overlooks the flag pole. I knew that it took exactly 10 sec to walk from the car parking spot to the saluting point and had seen the Stn Cdr peering out of his window, obviously hoping to catch another victim. But with 12 sec to go, I casually got out of my car, marched over to the saluting point and called "3...2...1...NOW" to the Ord Sgt. Ensign lowered exactly on time, but I could feel the Stn Cdr's glare on the back of my neck as I went back to the car...

[SATCOS WHIPPING BOY]

Colt late 90s. I was SDO and was called out at about 2am to a fire in one of the airman's blocks. Fire crew (Station one) already on scene. Lots of scantily clad bodies milling around outside on the grass: More females than males!
That fire certainly spoilt someone's night of fun.

Luckily no major injuries but it was close, a tea-light candle had melted through the top of the TV it was on and set it alight. Room occupant had fallen asleep and had to be rescued. In one sense he was a very lucky man as you could see the silhouette made by the soot on his bed, but not as lucky as at least one of his mates (if you know what I mean ;-) )

[oldmansquipper]

Hmmm. Many Ord Cpls, Ord Sgts and OOs in my time, luckily most of the JOs I dealt with listened, and they went smoothly. Advising a Fg Off first tourist JP at Laarbruch that it was HIS job, and not mine to close the LL Club (JR Naafi) and the bar on a dance night - when the rocks were in town was not really an example of.a sympathetic Ord Cpl.

But the incident with Stn Duty personnel that sticks in my mind was during GW1 when I was at HQSTC. As an SME and Eng Auth I was called in from home at about 0300 to locate a number of the extremely scarce new fangled GPS things for the secret squirrels. A number had been obtained under several dubious funding regimes (STF, COs fund or whatever) and were jealously guarded by the individual units.

All went well at first, including me arranging a civilian helicopter to courier a few down from Scotland. (I always thought that WO was the most powerful rank but this proved it!!) lord knows who actually paid eventually....but I digress.

One unit did, however, prove difficult. I spent some time locating the units duty eng ops only to be told that he was not prepared to release said items. OK said I, "put me through to your OC Eng then". Again, he refused, much to late to disturb OC Eng for some random WO from Strike. Explaining for the third or fourth time I asked "Are you sure?". " Yes I am bl**dy sure" was his reply. It seems that Flt Lt X felt that his unit should not give up these scarce items on his watch.

I believe my rapidly penned "immediate" personal signal to his Station Commander changed his mind, and the items were released PDQ. His apologetic phone call came the following day.

Signals - remember them? .....I doubt that "Twitter" would work as well!

As for who actually released the secret and immediate signal? I couldn't possibly say, but when one is alone in an 'above ground' soft office whilst all the movers and shakers were cowering down the hole, necessity becomes the mother of invention.

[Hydromet]

As a young Cpl, I was acting Orderly Sgt while most of the unit was on exercise out in the bush. Nice and quiet, until some of the civilian employees - mess staff, cleaners - got on the turps and started doing damage. Called OO, who went white and broke into a sweat, and vanished. Trouble continued, so went to the guardroom, grabbed two large privates (that doesn't sound right), confiscated the remaining alcohol and read the riot act.

Troops return to barracks, Cpl Hydro told to report to Bn 2IC. Expecting a bollocking, get a 'Well done'. His teenage son, unknown to me, was one of the civilian employees, had seen what was happening and removed himself from the scene. Later reported to his father.

Oh, the confiscated alcohol? Who knows what became of it.

[Ogre]

I was Ord Cpl at Kinloss the day Thomas Hamilton made himself front page news at Dunblane primary school, not really a major issue for for us but at the time the main gate to camp was being rebuilt so the Ord Cpl was shipped out to a portacabin by the back gate on the Findhorn road. As all the TV channels were filled with the coverage all night long all I had to watch was the gate guards (not very exciting) and an aged VHS cassette of Tommy Cooper (not marginally better).

Saying that I was also Ord Cpl at the same station the night the river Ness was going to break its banks into Inverness town centre. We'd just got rid of the defaulters, packed the solitary prisoner off to bed, bade the OO good night and settled down to watch some educational movies the Ord Sgt had provided, when the phone rang. This was the OO, we'd been requested to provide manpower to fill sandbags and shore up the river defences by the civilian council. So we packaed away the entertainment and started trying to work out what we needed and how to get it. Lossie was going to provide a 3 tonner and sandbags, so we had to find the manpower to fill and lay them, but where do you find a dozen "volunteers" at midnight?

By this time the OO was back in the guardroom and we all started ringing round. The duty airman was left to watch the front desk and provide refreshments while I was given the task of getting in-flight catering to provide box meals. Once I'd roused the duty sandwich mechanic, I told him we need 20 or so box meals delivered to guard room pronto. It took a bit of convincing that yes I was serious and no it wasn't a wind up, but I think what swung it was after telling him what we needed for the third time I casually said "well if you won't help, give me the number of the catering officer". After short silence he whispered "you wouldn't dare...." but without resorting to actually phoning his boss we got out meals.

Unfortunately the night shift Nimrod line could not provide manpower to assist, the snow and ice party was called out to swell the ranks and in the middle of all this a young fresh faced (and out of breath) WRAF burst through the guard room door and announced that some one had banged on her door and told her to report to the guardroom in her combats. She was then directed to get on the bus that had just pulled up outside, along with a dozen burly airmen who had been rounded up. She was next seen on the morning news trying to carry a sandbag...

By 04:00 the fuss had died down, the OO went off to write up his report and the Ord Sgt and I tried to fill in the daily occurrence book with approximate times for what we thought was the actual sequence of events. By the time the WRAF guardroom Sgt arrived we'd more or less sorted it out, the flag was up, the prisoner had been woken (he'd slept through the whole thing) and we were ready for knocking off. When the WRAF Sgt breezed in and asked "Quiet night then?" the Ord Sgt went "Well.....let me give you the headlines first...."

[Saintsman]

Reported for Orderly Corporal duty first thing at Akrotiri, only to be told to come back later.

Reason was that all the cells were full because the regiment had been building bazookas in the Pen Club out of tins cans and using lighter fluid to send all the light bulbs in the club flying around.

It took them all morning to deal with it, which was fine by me.

When I did finally report, only one prisoner was left in the cells and he was one of the stars of the 'Mata Hari' debacle, where a number of young lads were accused of spying, only for them all to be found not guilty at the Old Bailey.

[NutLoose]

I remember the OS turning up under the weather at Odi having been to some function at the Sgts mess, he promptly collected the ensign from under the desk went out and hoisted it about 3:00 am, he then retired to bed with instructions to wake him 15 mins before the OO turfed up so he could have a kip, at which point he told him he had already done the flag hoisting.

[Wander00]

Not "duty dog" story, rather more "always on duty". Early 80s and I was OC PSF at a fighter station in the Lincs Wolds. Quiet Sunday afternoon at girlfriend's house in Louth (she ex wife of a guy on same station since posted). Her phone (not a mobile in those days) rings, she answers and with a grim face hands phone to me. "It is the Binbrook Duty Officer for you, and tell him next time it would be polite to first ask if you are here!"

[longer ron]

One of the 'funnies' I remember.
RAF Brandy,Sunny Pembrokeshire in the late 70's.

Elderly couple seen driving round peri track/taxyway - they ask somebody - ''Is this the road to St Davids ?''

I would not have liked to be any of the Gate Guard team at the subsequent Inquiry/'interview' LOL.

Brandy had a fairly remote Gate Guard hut on the little lane which was the main entrance to the camp.

[Old Bricks]

I was OO at Gatow one day while the Berlin Tattoo was on. The station and all the empty hangars were full of army personnel, horses etc up from "The Zone" as participants. Called to the guardroom late one evening as a soldier had been brought in, out of his brains, having tried to break up the NAAFI bar and take on all of the RAF Police. Had a look at him (from a sensible distance) and gave normal instructions to lock him up, supervise, call medics if necessary and I would sort out with army in the morning. Off to bed, then strolled down to guardroom at about 0700 to do one's duty. Asked Orderly Cpl how the man was. "No idea, sir. A very big and angry RSM came and got him at 0500." Thinking this is a bit of a cheek, disregarding RAF justice blah blah etc, passing RAF Police Cpl says - "I know where he is. One of the airfield mobile patrols is watching him running around the perimeter track pursued by an angry, big RSM in a Land Rover shouting at him all the time. He's been going round since 0500 - even the East German guards on the fence seem to be amused".
I left it at that. The army seemed to have everything under control.

[Pontius Navigator]

One hazy summer Sunday afternoon in 1962 at what is now HMP Highpoint, the OO, APO Tim Hankey, was alerted by the guardroom that a light aircraft had landed. APO Tim, supported by a few members of our Nav Course made his way to the aircraft. They were lost, not difficult with so many airfields all looking the same.

What better place to land than the School of Navigation. Tim gave them directions with due allowance for wind and they were soon on their way.

Next day "Did you collect landing fees Hankey?"

[MPN11]

Old Bricks, I had a similar at Bisley during the Services Championships. Although not exactly OO/SDO, I was the RAF Liaison Officer with the Army who ran the camp during the meeting.

Drunken and violent airman pinned down at the base of a hedge by 4 or more colleagues one evening. I summoned formal assistance from the camp Guardroom, which materialised in the form of a Landy and 2-3 Gurhas armed with pickaxe handles. I encouraged them to avoid using their implements, as they back-pedalled him to the Landy, hurled him into the back, sat on him and set off for the Proper Guardroom at Pirbright (then the Guards’ Depot) with me in my Landy in hot pursuit. I arrived to hear the slamming of a cell door and the bellowing of the Staff Sergeant Guard Commander, who appeared to be in full control of proceedings. He and I sorted out some Admin details, but the airman was getting restless and banging on his cell door. The consequential “BE QUIET” must have been audible in Guildford!

Airman returned to Unit the next day, presumably with supporting paperwork by a separate route, for action there ... leaving his Station Shooting Team one man short.

[MPN11]

And, apart from the foregoing, my many stints as OO, SDO and even ‘Duty Stn Cdr’ (a weekend peculiar at Waddington shared between a handful of Stn Execs) don’t seem to have produced any tales of note at all!!

[Four Turbo]

OK. OO at Wildenrath early 60s as a Pilot Officer. Lowest of the low, always last in line! Evening duties required a fire check of the kitchen after it had closed. Did so - to find head chef and pretty head waitress hard at it on the 'Table, meat preparation'. (yes, honest) Nobody knew why from then on I only had to sit down at dinner to get instant service and the biggest steak! Mike T.

[DeepestSouth]

RAF Bicester – 1974. There was a national alarm, fuelled by the ‘red top’ newspapers, that terrorists were at large in the UK with man-portable anti-aircraft missiles, intending to target civilian airliners and/or military aircraft. We had, of course, quite a few Chipmunk aircraft based at Bicester although the rather better armed F-111 aircraft a few miles away at Upper Heyford might have been at more risk! One dark night, with the Alert State high, I was the OO and on my night patrol of the airfield perimeter. It was very dark as I entered the old WW II bomb dump area, totally unlit but still accessible with narrow roads between 10ft high mounds. It was overgrown with bushes and scrub and clearly a good lurking place for bad guys. Torch in hand, more than usually alert, I wandered along the tracks when suddenly there was the most almighty noise, crashing about and general mayhem in the bushes immediately to my right. Fearing the worst and preparing to run or fight(!) I was confronted by a ghostly white shape which went very fast right past my head, very close, followed by something bumping into my right leg! It was very nearly a ‘brown underpants moment’ and it took several minutes for my heart rate to fall after I realised that I had disturbed a fox intent on a meal of barn owl. A stiffener in the Mess Bar was required!