Instructors - any favourite "bon mots" ?
Arab Cunning
It took us a long time to get a Prince solo. Afterwards: "Well R***d we finally made it". "Thank you sir; it would take you twice as long to solo on my camel!"
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South of Old Warden
Age: 87
Posts: 1,375
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
Saudi trainee pilot making a mess of short finals, lets go of the controls and wails 'all is in the hands Allah'. Voice from the back mutters ' no it's not, it's f***ng well in mine!
F.E.D. That incident happened on Provosts IIRC. ( N.B not J.P.s)
Around that time another middle-eastern country, which will be nameless, had pilots attending more advanced training during which an instructor was overheard advising a student that on first seeing enemy fighters it was a good idea to "fly straight and level for a bit" until he was sure of what was going on.
Taken aside quietly he then explained:
" Think about it. It's highly likely we will up against these b*ggers in a couple of years time"........
Around that time another middle-eastern country, which will be nameless, had pilots attending more advanced training during which an instructor was overheard advising a student that on first seeing enemy fighters it was a good idea to "fly straight and level for a bit" until he was sure of what was going on.
Taken aside quietly he then explained:
" Think about it. It's highly likely we will up against these b*ggers in a couple of years time"........
From when I was a student:
There'd been some hard landings over the previous two months in our training squadron. A few birds were sent to the depot to get unbent / skin patched. At the quarterly safety stand down, one of the students stood up and asked "What can we do to prevent these hard landings?"
From the back my night flying instructor (I recognized his voice) drawled out ...
"Flare!"
The room broke up, and even the XO was stifling the laughter.
One from my IP days:
Me to student: "Pulling the nose up on short final won't make you go higher, nor get back on profile. It will make you go slower and fall faster. When low, lead with power."
Student to me: "Won't that make me go faster?"
Me to student: "We'll live longer dealing with having more airspeed than with having too little."
Student: "But I've been having trouble with floating."
Me: "No approach is too bad, nor too good, to wave off. When you make a decision to wave off, it is not counted against you. I count it in your favor that you used your head, and we get to try again."
Student: "Oh, I thought a wave off meant I failed the landing."
My jaw about drops. (Where the hell did he hear that?)
Me: "You fail the landing if you hit the ground wrong, or you stall and we crash."
I pause.
"Let's go and do some high work, and we'll come back to the landing pattern in a bit."
We left the pattern.
-------------------------------------------------
I asked around the other IPs for the next few days trying to find out where he would have heard that about failing the landing, and which IP was putting that word out? Had a long talk with the Standardization Officer. I was both puzzled and worried.
Nobody was teaching this. Apparently, this was one of those rumors running around among some of the students, who were always trying to figure out how to get the best scores on each flight .... yikes! Memo went out from the Standardization Officer to all flight leaders to do a bit of rumor control.
There'd been some hard landings over the previous two months in our training squadron. A few birds were sent to the depot to get unbent / skin patched. At the quarterly safety stand down, one of the students stood up and asked "What can we do to prevent these hard landings?"
From the back my night flying instructor (I recognized his voice) drawled out ...
"Flare!"
The room broke up, and even the XO was stifling the laughter.
One from my IP days:
Me to student: "Pulling the nose up on short final won't make you go higher, nor get back on profile. It will make you go slower and fall faster. When low, lead with power."
Student to me: "Won't that make me go faster?"
Me to student: "We'll live longer dealing with having more airspeed than with having too little."
Student: "But I've been having trouble with floating."
Me: "No approach is too bad, nor too good, to wave off. When you make a decision to wave off, it is not counted against you. I count it in your favor that you used your head, and we get to try again."
Student: "Oh, I thought a wave off meant I failed the landing."
My jaw about drops. (Where the hell did he hear that?)
Me: "You fail the landing if you hit the ground wrong, or you stall and we crash."
I pause.
"Let's go and do some high work, and we'll come back to the landing pattern in a bit."
We left the pattern.
-------------------------------------------------
I asked around the other IPs for the next few days trying to find out where he would have heard that about failing the landing, and which IP was putting that word out? Had a long talk with the Standardization Officer. I was both puzzled and worried.
Nobody was teaching this. Apparently, this was one of those rumors running around among some of the students, who were always trying to figure out how to get the best scores on each flight .... yikes! Memo went out from the Standardization Officer to all flight leaders to do a bit of rumor control.
Duty instructor (DI) at Linton, must have been 1975, sitting in the tower reading the porn, when an R/T call on tower says;
‘C33 (odd number call sign so a student) Calling DI stud 8 for flame out!’
I immediately inform the ATC assistant to call the powers that be, and pick up the headset.
‘Where are you C33, what is your position?’
‘C33 is taxing in. The engine went out doing aeros 20 mins ago. I did the standard relight and it started so I finished my sortie. What I want to know sir, is should I put the aeroplane U/S?’
At this point the Station Master and the C/I are just arriving at the tower ……
‘C33 (odd number call sign so a student) Calling DI stud 8 for flame out!’
I immediately inform the ATC assistant to call the powers that be, and pick up the headset.
‘Where are you C33, what is your position?’
‘C33 is taxing in. The engine went out doing aeros 20 mins ago. I did the standard relight and it started so I finished my sortie. What I want to know sir, is should I put the aeroplane U/S?’
At this point the Station Master and the C/I are just arriving at the tower ……
Lonewolf_50, I initiated a go-around from my first B-747 approach (base training; no pax).
The Base Training Captain, a bit of a hard case, was ecstatic. I think I got more Brownie points than if I'd achieved a half decent touchdown.
The Base Training Captain, a bit of a hard case, was ecstatic. I think I got more Brownie points than if I'd achieved a half decent touchdown.
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Berkshire, UK
Posts: 188
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
There's not much new. I heard about the foreign student, on a previous Chivenor course, who was discovered in the OM ante room after he left his aircraft at the end of the runway, in 1960.
On my course, my air to air gunnery instructor told me that the secret to good pipper control was to hold the stick "like you held your c*ck". My final OCU air to air assessment was "above average". Didn't repeat it on the squadron, though.
On my course, my air to air gunnery instructor told me that the secret to good pipper control was to hold the stick "like you held your c*ck". My final OCU air to air assessment was "above average". Didn't repeat it on the squadron, though.
"Mildly" Eccentric Stardriver
ACW599 wrote:
Similar: "How many "b"s sin abysmal?" or "How many "t"s in atrocious?"
Instructor to colleagues in crew-room after trip and about to write report: "How do you spell congenital?"
Herc' co-pilot training sortie at Fairford - instructor in LH seat is USAF exchange officer Major J J Smith ( RIP, sadly ).
J J is making notes as our hero in the RH seat flies downwind - co-pilot looks across at JJ with a worried look on his face.
" Don't worry G ****, I'm just writing a letter to my mother " says J J.
" Phew " says G.
" Dear Mother, what a dumb **** of a co-pilot I'm flying with ".
Even G managed to wet himself!
J J is making notes as our hero in the RH seat flies downwind - co-pilot looks across at JJ with a worried look on his face.
" Don't worry G ****, I'm just writing a letter to my mother " says J J.
" Phew " says G.
" Dear Mother, what a dumb **** of a co-pilot I'm flying with ".
Even G managed to wet himself!
Guest
Posts: n/a
"It ain't necessarily so"........
Lonewolf_50 (#32),From when I was a student:
..."one of the students stood up and asked "What can we do to prevent these hard landings?"
From the back my night flying instructor (I recognized his voice) drawled out ...
"Flare!"...
..."one of the students stood up and asked "What can we do to prevent these hard landings?"
From the back my night flying instructor (I recognized his voice) drawled out ...
"Flare!"...
..."At one point on the Course there was an epidemic of "ground-looping". The AT-6 is above-averagely susceptible to this at the hands of the ham-fisted (or I suppose I should say, the ham-footed) student. There were cases on night landing, and our instructors devised a special technique to deal with it.
You came in at 70 mph, flaps down, with enough power set to give a descent of 700 ft/min. Then you simply flew into the runway with no attempt to check or hold off. There was an almighty bang, you shoved the stick forward, the aircraft skipped once then thumped down, tail-up onto its wheels. You held it there until it had slowed down enough to let the tail down.
It was a "controlled crash". How the AT-6 stood up to this barbarous treatment, I'll never know. The undercarriage must have been massive. I suppose, as a training aircraft, it had to be. At least, none of ours broke"...
You came in at 70 mph, flaps down, with enough power set to give a descent of 700 ft/min. Then you simply flew into the runway with no attempt to check or hold off. There was an almighty bang, you shoved the stick forward, the aircraft skipped once then thumped down, tail-up onto its wheels. You held it there until it had slowed down enough to let the tail down.
It was a "controlled crash". How the AT-6 stood up to this barbarous treatment, I'll never know. The undercarriage must have been massive. I suppose, as a training aircraft, it had to be. At least, none of ours broke"...
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Hants
Age: 80
Posts: 370
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Initial instrument flying sortie on the JP3. My Master Pilot instructor said "You've got a touch like a Scandinavian Midwife". Still don't know what he meant but I guess it must have been something like you are crap!
ACW
ACW