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Instructors - any favourite "bon mots" ?

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Instructors - any favourite "bon mots" ?

Old 7th Sep 2017, 09:41
  #121 (permalink)  
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
 
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As one of my colleagues regularly reminds me, at the end of the first session where I had him as a student (he subsequently passed); I had him get two mugs of coffee, sat back on the other side of the table and said, "well Paul, there are other jobs in the RAF....."
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 10:08
  #122 (permalink)  
 
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An odd item about Danny's haunted St George Hotel.

For the 1966 Football World Cup it hosted the North Korean football team.
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 15:04
  #123 (permalink)  
 
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SHY - Riggers pulled it on me! The other time I 'just crept over the fence' was on my CFS(H) acceptance ride with the Boss - we were running in towards Ternhill, I pulled the throttle on him. He entered auto, looked at the airfield, looked at me, folded his arms and said 'I want nothing to do with this'.
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 16:47
  #124 (permalink)  
 
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ISTR you did something similar to me on my QHI course... put a massive student error in for me to take control on an EOL, then chopped the throttle and sat back to watch......
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 18:25
  #125 (permalink)  
 
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crab - really!!!!!!
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 19:17
  #126 (permalink)  
 
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The first 5 students I flew with as a new QFI on the JP all tried to kill me one way or another. In addition to trying to spin out of a stall recovery, student #2 (who became a very average ATCO shortly thereafter) caught me out with his novel crosswind landing technique. I had unwisely let him continue the landing as we were not quite halfway over the downwind side of the runway, and was totally unprepared for him kicking off the drift by using full rudder in the wrong direction. I took control (too late, obviously) and slammed the mighty Viper to fully loud (it was a Mk 3 JP...). I then showed student #2 that it was possible to nibble the light buffet whilst exiting the runway 30 degrees of heading at 0.5 feet, carefully avoiding the runway edge lights, which appeared to be about 14ft high. Student #2's comment: "That was fun, wasn't it Sir?!" QFI comment, from B2 list of useful phrases: "No, you c**t"
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 20:37
  #127 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by 8028410q View Post
Words to me in 1984, 18 Course, 7 FTS, Church Fenton.. "well, Bob, as far as I'm concerned, you're chopped...."
Are there any other variants of the 'you're chopped' that our esteemed readers have heard or used on those unfortunate ones?
Nav School Finningley - early 90s and the first female students were going through. One was allegedly chopped with the words: " Well, the good news is you'll make someone a wonderful wife and mother"
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 22:24
  #128 (permalink)  

Avoid imitations
 
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SHY - Riggers pulled it on me! The other time I 'just crept over the fence' was on my CFS(H) acceptance ride with the Boss - we were running in towards Ternhill, I pulled the throttle on him. He entered auto, looked at the airfield, looked at me, folded his arms and said 'I want nothing to do with this'.
I like your Boss's style!

My saving grace after my student "franged"us (only the slightest touch, your Honour) at Ternhill was that the new Sqn Cdr (in post only that very day) and his student Cat 3'd their aircraft 100 yards away some twenty minutes later. Very much like CG did after their Norwegian whiteout episode, I eventually gave them a lift home to Shawbury and I think theirs went back on a low-loader.
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Old 7th Sep 2017, 22:40
  #129 (permalink)  
 
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SHY - the Boss was Barry P and, in retrospect, I think his actual words may have been slightly more colourful!
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 03:05
  #130 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Fareastdriver View Post

I am about No3. I climb in the RHS with Chunky in the LHS. We take off and Chunky knows that I can do them so we go straight into the first one. Downwind in the middle of Odiham airfield, 200ft, 90 knots. He asks me if I am ready, I say OK and he pulls the speed select. I do it as previously described and on the ground he announces that he is going to do one.

Off we go, not quite 200ft (180), not quite 90 knots and he tells me to pull the lever. There is, as far as I am concerned, no problem, I had done them from lower than that. He was pattering, as QHIs do until we reached 45 knots and then he turned. Left; A Whirlwind in that position will only let you get away with it when you turn right.

I knew something was wrong because the patter dried up. The aircraft was fighting against the turn and by the time we were into wind we had about 160ft and zero airspeed. Chunky stuffed the nose down to try and get some knots so we plummeted down towards the grass. At the last moment he pulled back, which made no difference to the rate of descent or the airspeed and we three-pointed onto the ground.

It did not feel very hard but the starboard undercarriage had collapsed so I watched in fascination as the rotor blades slapped on the ground and eventually we came to rest on the starboard side.

There was then a lot of huffing and puffing from the LHS as Chunky exited through the window. A fraction of a second he was back in because the engine was still running and he had put his face over the jet pipe. He shut down the engine and dived out again followed by me who had tidied up the switches and levers.

We stood outside the wreckage wondering what to do and guess who was first to arrive. Air Vice Marshall Micky Martin, AOC 38 Group. He had just arrived outside his HQ during his first week in charge and was the closest to the prang.

We were shut up in a room in the squadron to sort a story out but there was not a lot we could do. The aircraft was left for about five days providing an excellent scenario from the officer's mess bar windows. XR478 was the first aircraft with a monstrosity known as the package winch that was attached to the starboard side. This had been forced into the frames and stringers so the aircraft was a write-off. Chunky knew everybody on the B o I and he was effectively the expert witness. He got away with an AOC's reprimand.
Interestingly, this exact account is now the official version of events on the Aviation Safety Network in respect of the demise of said Whirlwind. They lifted Fareastdriver's post word for word.

ASN Aircraft accident 07-AUG-1967 Westland Whirlwind HAR10 (S-55) XR478
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 05:04
  #131 (permalink)  
 
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Are there any other variants of the 'you're chopped' that our esteemed readers have heard or used on those unfortunate ones?
Boss: "Well Dan, the way I see it, you can either become a multi engine pilot, or a smoking hole in a hill".

Me (After a short deliberation): "I'll be a multi-engine pilot sir".

Boss: "Good choice".
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 08:53
  #132 (permalink)  

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"Well, Bloggs, I don't know how the RAF would cope without you - but starting from now, it's going to try!"
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 10:01
  #133 (permalink)  
 
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When I was being trained (1958) there was a big shortage of Navs. Trainee Pilots were aplenty. Senior staff went around for fatherly talks. "If you were chopped would you go Nav?" Correct answer was "Never", or stronger words to that effect. We lost several good hands who dithered.
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 13:04
  #134 (permalink)  
 
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Off Thread, but this Bon Mot from a Station Commander to his assembled underlings may amuse:

"It has come to my notice that some of you young gentlemen have been inviting into the Mess young ladies of a kind with which you would not normally associate..."

Rather well worded, I thought (I was there).

Danny.
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 13:45
  #135 (permalink)  
 
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Following on from Danny's Thread drift.
Grads appeared at the Towers early 70's. At that time the only incoming telephonic communication from the outside world was by telephone to the College Hall porter, who would then tannoy the potential recipient ( and the rest of RAFC ) to come to his desk to take the call. The problem was dress code, as we were supposed to be either in uniform, or suits, to walk the hallowed halls ( apart from Sports afternoons).
The question was raised at a CHM meeting in 1973 . "If I am in the shower, am I supposed to hurriedly dress in a suit in order to dash down to take a call?"
The (IIRC) Wg.Cdr. Eng.PMC's response was very conciliatory.

"Not at all. Under those circumstances ,Sports Jacket and Tie is perfectly acceptable."

I leave you to guess the reaction from the assembled throng.
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 13:54
  #136 (permalink)  
 
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Wrecks & Relics - Aircraft & Airshows Past










Was still around in the 80's
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 14:07
  #137 (permalink)  
 
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Haraka (#140),

Supposed to have been a wartime case in Shepheard's Hotel in Cairo, when a young officer was court-martialled for running starkers down a corridor at night.

The defence was: "He was suitably dressed for the sport in which he was engaged !"
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 14:10
  #138 (permalink)  
 
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When I was being trained (1958) there was a big shortage of Navs
When I did my assessment in Salisbury, S Rhodesia they offered me a post as a navigator instead of my wish to be a pilot because of a problem with my sight. I dithered but my father, ex RAF pilot, said.
"If you are going to be killed in an aeroplane you may as well be flying it."

I went to a high class optician who declared that there was nothing wrong with my eyes so I went back to the RAF. Another assessment, this time as a pilot.

Interestingly, this exact account is now the official version of events on the Aviation Safety Network
Who was the third person in the aeroplane?
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 14:22
  #139 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by Fonsini View Post
Interestingly, this exact account is now the official version of events on the Aviation Safety Network in respect of the demise of said Whirlwind. They lifted Fareastdriver's post word for word.

ASN Aircraft accident 07-AUG-1967 Westland Whirlwind HAR10 (S-55) XR478
Don't blame the ASN site owner. The site has two databases and this accident is in the Wikibase so it was most likely one of our own from PPRuNe who copied it across.
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Old 8th Sep 2017, 16:09
  #140 (permalink)  

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That Wrecks and Relics page (post 141), has Wessex XT677 on it. My last flight on the OCU was on that airframe, brand-new from Westlands. 12 Apr '67. At least, so far, I've survived in better condition.
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