Runway Controllers and the Runway Caravan
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The Dishforth Caravan
The sleepy hollow of the Vale of York. Early '80's.
Never was an airfield manned by so few and used by so few.
Two Controllers and two RWC's.
The two RWC's split the day, one worked the pre lunch shift, t'other slept the post Molly from the Feeder lunch.
The heady day's of a Dishforth summer, Radio 4 tuned to the test match special, the caravan armchair positioned outside the caravan to allow sunbathing. The clag from Teesside guaranteeing no horizons therefore minimal traffic.
Enter our hero. Luncheon taken, check. Sunshine, check. Armchair outside, check. Local frequency monitor volume to Max, check. Zed's time, double check.
Within minutes, out hero is in the land of nod.
However, due to the crappy weather, the DI at Leeming decides that Dishforth is surplus to requirements and can be stood down.
So MSig Butch W, the ATCO i/c gets the call to stack. OK he says Lets go home.
Buzz Buzz on the Hadley box to the caravan to tell him to up sticks. No reply. Buzz Buzz again, still no reply. A quick look the the binoculars to the 16 threshold shows our hero RWC fast asleep in the armchair slowly going pink in the hazy sunshine.
Bugger him, says Butch. And so the 3 awake guys go home.
Six hours later, our hero slowly awakens from the arms of Morpheus and re-mans the Caravan.
An hour later, Hmm it's getting gloomy he thinks and checks his wristwatch. BARSTEWARDS he cries. It's almost 2100 and he's due at the Leeming Bar Motel pumping fuel from midnight until 6am as his unofficial 'secondary duty'.
As an aside, this same guy, on his discharge, hired the PSI minibus (sans seating) to move his furniture from his AMQ to his new civvy abode. After his return, a week later, subsequent PSI minibus renters complained out the crappy performance of the said Sherpa minibus. Investigations revealed a different engine number however nothing could be proved.......................
Dishforth Tales continued
The Dishforth Caravan lived in 3 hangar and toddled to the thresholds of whichever runway was agreed on for that particular day. So the milometer hardly moved. OK the Carrier Bantam struggled to Boroughbridge garage for refuelling once a blue moon, but the milometer was barely exercised.
Then one day a telephone call. Leeming MT wanted the Caravan for a service. Would the Corporals deliver it to MT at Leeming on Friday cease flying and swap over to the Command Spare?
Come Friday stack time our two (different) hero's man the van and set off to drive the whatever miles up the A1 to Leeming.
Bearing in mind that the Caravan, at best, gained a mile per day and usually travelled at 15 mph, to give it the open road was asking a lot.
But onwards and upwards, and it was a Friday and bars were beginning to open, so best accelerator foot forward and slowly, slowly the old Carrier Bantam gained speed. After 5 miles or so the T's and P's were just reaching normal operating limits. We were just about to hit V1 (30mph) when all of a sudden we were enveloped in smoke and steam. A rapid abort on to Baldersby Services (convenient) was initiated, and abandonment commenced successfully.
It was decided that No 1 RWC would find a telephone to declare a Pan to Leeming MT whilst No 2 RWC would stand guard over this vital piece of UK Defence Equipment.
However, No 1 RWC returned, post haste, being chased by a rather large dog. No 1 RWC having opened the wrong gate.
No 2 RWC, in the meantime, safely ensconced in the cockpit of the Caravan, laughing like a drain at the predicament of RWC1 until RWC 1 opens the cockpit door allowing the dog unprecedented access to RWC2.
After much hand to paw fighting, RWC1 and RWC2 gain the upper hand (paw) and regain control of the cockpit of the Carrier Bantam and attempt a hot relight.
Thankfully, the only operational spark plug does it's thing and we manage to creep further northwards. Then a remarkable thing, all the plugs and cylinders got there act together and after much backfiring and smoke rings causing zero vis on the A1, we fare whizzed to Leeming.
On arriving in the MT yard, the duty gadge opened the door and moaned about the amount of dog hairs!
How we laughed.
Bob O'n**** where are you?
Never was an airfield manned by so few and used by so few.
Two Controllers and two RWC's.
The two RWC's split the day, one worked the pre lunch shift, t'other slept the post Molly from the Feeder lunch.
The heady day's of a Dishforth summer, Radio 4 tuned to the test match special, the caravan armchair positioned outside the caravan to allow sunbathing. The clag from Teesside guaranteeing no horizons therefore minimal traffic.
Enter our hero. Luncheon taken, check. Sunshine, check. Armchair outside, check. Local frequency monitor volume to Max, check. Zed's time, double check.
Within minutes, out hero is in the land of nod.
However, due to the crappy weather, the DI at Leeming decides that Dishforth is surplus to requirements and can be stood down.
So MSig Butch W, the ATCO i/c gets the call to stack. OK he says Lets go home.
Buzz Buzz on the Hadley box to the caravan to tell him to up sticks. No reply. Buzz Buzz again, still no reply. A quick look the the binoculars to the 16 threshold shows our hero RWC fast asleep in the armchair slowly going pink in the hazy sunshine.
Bugger him, says Butch. And so the 3 awake guys go home.
Six hours later, our hero slowly awakens from the arms of Morpheus and re-mans the Caravan.
An hour later, Hmm it's getting gloomy he thinks and checks his wristwatch. BARSTEWARDS he cries. It's almost 2100 and he's due at the Leeming Bar Motel pumping fuel from midnight until 6am as his unofficial 'secondary duty'.
As an aside, this same guy, on his discharge, hired the PSI minibus (sans seating) to move his furniture from his AMQ to his new civvy abode. After his return, a week later, subsequent PSI minibus renters complained out the crappy performance of the said Sherpa minibus. Investigations revealed a different engine number however nothing could be proved.......................
Dishforth Tales continued
The Dishforth Caravan lived in 3 hangar and toddled to the thresholds of whichever runway was agreed on for that particular day. So the milometer hardly moved. OK the Carrier Bantam struggled to Boroughbridge garage for refuelling once a blue moon, but the milometer was barely exercised.
Then one day a telephone call. Leeming MT wanted the Caravan for a service. Would the Corporals deliver it to MT at Leeming on Friday cease flying and swap over to the Command Spare?
Come Friday stack time our two (different) hero's man the van and set off to drive the whatever miles up the A1 to Leeming.
Bearing in mind that the Caravan, at best, gained a mile per day and usually travelled at 15 mph, to give it the open road was asking a lot.
But onwards and upwards, and it was a Friday and bars were beginning to open, so best accelerator foot forward and slowly, slowly the old Carrier Bantam gained speed. After 5 miles or so the T's and P's were just reaching normal operating limits. We were just about to hit V1 (30mph) when all of a sudden we were enveloped in smoke and steam. A rapid abort on to Baldersby Services (convenient) was initiated, and abandonment commenced successfully.
It was decided that No 1 RWC would find a telephone to declare a Pan to Leeming MT whilst No 2 RWC would stand guard over this vital piece of UK Defence Equipment.
However, No 1 RWC returned, post haste, being chased by a rather large dog. No 1 RWC having opened the wrong gate.
No 2 RWC, in the meantime, safely ensconced in the cockpit of the Caravan, laughing like a drain at the predicament of RWC1 until RWC 1 opens the cockpit door allowing the dog unprecedented access to RWC2.
After much hand to paw fighting, RWC1 and RWC2 gain the upper hand (paw) and regain control of the cockpit of the Carrier Bantam and attempt a hot relight.
Thankfully, the only operational spark plug does it's thing and we manage to creep further northwards. Then a remarkable thing, all the plugs and cylinders got there act together and after much backfiring and smoke rings causing zero vis on the A1, we fare whizzed to Leeming.
On arriving in the MT yard, the duty gadge opened the door and moaned about the amount of dog hairs!
How we laughed.
Bob O'n**** where are you?
Last edited by taxydual; 23rd Mar 2017 at 22:24. Reason: d on Comman
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Dishforth and the Chinaman
Sat (laid out, really) dozing at the 34 end of Dishforth runway. The usual soporific afternoon shift in the Caravan post a 'Molly the Feeder' lunch. Air Traffic nil. Ground Traffic one.
A knock at the Caravan door. Enter one very excitable Chinaman. Self, suddenly awoken from a deep sleep and suitable armed with 40mm pistol to repel the Yellow Peril (OK, I appreciate PC, no offence intended).
Having calmed the guy down and having realised he wasn't the 1st Regiment of the Peoples Republic Shock Troops (or whatever) intent of invading Boroughbridge, nor was he offering No 32 and Fried Rice at a discount to Caravanners, I slowly twigged what he was yapping about was a Volvo 245 size hole in the airfield hedge that formed the boundary between the A1 southbound and RAF Dishforth.
To confirm my suspicions, there, 20 feet from the Caravan (and 300 feet of skid marks from the boundary hedge ) was a Maroon Volvo 245 Estate car which was occupied by half a dozen small Chinese people (ie children) who were rather upset to have there journey rudely interrupted by a 45 ton articulated vehicle nudging them through the boundary hedge of one of Her Majesties Premier Defence Sites.
Common sense prevailed.
Rather than alerting NATO to a possible invasion threat and bringing US Forces to DEFCON2 we decided to task Joe, the Airfield Electrician, to tow the rather battered Volvo and it's occupants off the Airfield and through the Dishforth main gates and freedom in the West. After that was accomplished, we could all go back to sleep.
A knock at the Caravan door. Enter one very excitable Chinaman. Self, suddenly awoken from a deep sleep and suitable armed with 40mm pistol to repel the Yellow Peril (OK, I appreciate PC, no offence intended).
Having calmed the guy down and having realised he wasn't the 1st Regiment of the Peoples Republic Shock Troops (or whatever) intent of invading Boroughbridge, nor was he offering No 32 and Fried Rice at a discount to Caravanners, I slowly twigged what he was yapping about was a Volvo 245 size hole in the airfield hedge that formed the boundary between the A1 southbound and RAF Dishforth.
To confirm my suspicions, there, 20 feet from the Caravan (and 300 feet of skid marks from the boundary hedge ) was a Maroon Volvo 245 Estate car which was occupied by half a dozen small Chinese people (ie children) who were rather upset to have there journey rudely interrupted by a 45 ton articulated vehicle nudging them through the boundary hedge of one of Her Majesties Premier Defence Sites.
Common sense prevailed.
Rather than alerting NATO to a possible invasion threat and bringing US Forces to DEFCON2 we decided to task Joe, the Airfield Electrician, to tow the rather battered Volvo and it's occupants off the Airfield and through the Dishforth main gates and freedom in the West. After that was accomplished, we could all go back to sleep.
Last edited by taxydual; 24th Mar 2017 at 00:08. Reason: Repetition
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And of course this one that I posted on the Thread of Threads.
Danny
Your mention of Dishforth earlier, together with your experiences of S**tehawks, goats, rats etc
What about the Dishforth Swan? Does the following ring bells? It must have happened in your time in the Vale of York.
RAF Dishforth in the '70's. RLG for 3FTS Leeming. This particular day the weather was dog. Heavy rain, low cloudbase, the works.
Four AirTraffickers sat in Local playing uckers waiting for the stack word from Leeming. "Hey, look at that" pipes up one of the 4.
There, on finals to a very wet runway 16, was a swan. The swan drops it's undercarriage over the threshold and alights on what it thinks is a lovely stretch of river/canal/lake etc.
In a blur of white and a cloud of feathers the swan becomes worse off and ends in a crumpled heap on the runway. Apparently Cat 5.
Crash One is despatched to recover the 'remains'.
The Crash Crew collect the swan and take it back to the Crash Bay. A couple of minutes later, they report via the Hadley Box, that the swan is only stunned and recovering quite nicely on the sofa in the Crash Bay crewroom.
Amazingly the swan is quite docile once it recovers.
The problem was that swans require a stretch of water to take off, Firemen know everything. The ensuing discussion as to what to do with the bird came to the conclusion that the swan needed transport to the canal at Ripon to join it's pals and return to nature.
Clearance from the Lords and Masters at Leeming was obtained to despatch Crash Two, with swan onboard, to the canal at Ripon. So Dishforth went Black with no Crash Cover.
The uckers game resumed.
Some time later a telephone call was received from North Yorkshire Constabulary basically informing the ATCO i/c that his Firemen were now 'assisting the police with enquiries' as to the matter of 'stealing a swan'.
Apparently, Crash Two had arrived at the Ripon Canal and the crew had carried the swan down the bank to join it's pals. Job done, the crew returned to Crash Two. However, the pals were not too keen on the 'new' member and turned on it. Amidst a cacophony of honking and clouds of feathers, the Dishforth swan made a beeline for Crash Two and safety, overtaking the returning crew.
A new plan had to be hatched.
In the mean time, the obligatory 'little old lady' had looked out of her window to see 'big, burly men stealing a swan from the canal' and promptly called the Ripon Constabulary.
After much explaining by the ATCO i/c, all became clear. Swan released to river (not canal), Crash Crew released to Dishforth. Endex.
Or so was thought.
Some time later, the Daily Telegraph got hold of the story and reported it 'big time'. The headline 'Swan closes major RAF base' caused some pride in the total complement of RAF Dishforth personnel. All 12 of them (4 ATC, 2 GRSF, 5 Firemen and a Medic). RAF Dishforth, a MAJOR RAF Base.
Does it ring bells?
Danny
Your mention of Dishforth earlier, together with your experiences of S**tehawks, goats, rats etc
What about the Dishforth Swan? Does the following ring bells? It must have happened in your time in the Vale of York.
RAF Dishforth in the '70's. RLG for 3FTS Leeming. This particular day the weather was dog. Heavy rain, low cloudbase, the works.
Four AirTraffickers sat in Local playing uckers waiting for the stack word from Leeming. "Hey, look at that" pipes up one of the 4.
There, on finals to a very wet runway 16, was a swan. The swan drops it's undercarriage over the threshold and alights on what it thinks is a lovely stretch of river/canal/lake etc.
In a blur of white and a cloud of feathers the swan becomes worse off and ends in a crumpled heap on the runway. Apparently Cat 5.
Crash One is despatched to recover the 'remains'.
The Crash Crew collect the swan and take it back to the Crash Bay. A couple of minutes later, they report via the Hadley Box, that the swan is only stunned and recovering quite nicely on the sofa in the Crash Bay crewroom.
Amazingly the swan is quite docile once it recovers.
The problem was that swans require a stretch of water to take off, Firemen know everything. The ensuing discussion as to what to do with the bird came to the conclusion that the swan needed transport to the canal at Ripon to join it's pals and return to nature.
Clearance from the Lords and Masters at Leeming was obtained to despatch Crash Two, with swan onboard, to the canal at Ripon. So Dishforth went Black with no Crash Cover.
The uckers game resumed.
Some time later a telephone call was received from North Yorkshire Constabulary basically informing the ATCO i/c that his Firemen were now 'assisting the police with enquiries' as to the matter of 'stealing a swan'.
Apparently, Crash Two had arrived at the Ripon Canal and the crew had carried the swan down the bank to join it's pals. Job done, the crew returned to Crash Two. However, the pals were not too keen on the 'new' member and turned on it. Amidst a cacophony of honking and clouds of feathers, the Dishforth swan made a beeline for Crash Two and safety, overtaking the returning crew.
A new plan had to be hatched.
In the mean time, the obligatory 'little old lady' had looked out of her window to see 'big, burly men stealing a swan from the canal' and promptly called the Ripon Constabulary.
After much explaining by the ATCO i/c, all became clear. Swan released to river (not canal), Crash Crew released to Dishforth. Endex.
Or so was thought.
Some time later, the Daily Telegraph got hold of the story and reported it 'big time'. The headline 'Swan closes major RAF base' caused some pride in the total complement of RAF Dishforth personnel. All 12 of them (4 ATC, 2 GRSF, 5 Firemen and a Medic). RAF Dishforth, a MAJOR RAF Base.
Does it ring bells?
Had two real scares in the van at Leuchars. F4 roars off Rwy 27, suffers a double hyd fail and electrical fail, cant talk to anyone, who then turns downwind, turns finals and arrives at a hell of a rate into the approach end cable. It really was not his day because the cable decided enough was enough and promptly broke, the sound as it whipped past the caravan haunts me to this day. the bang from the electrical box that powered the van was even better!! Meanwhile our mighty F4 staggers back into the air and if memory serves me right went into the 22 app cable successfully.
The other time was an F4 returning from some foreign jaunt late on a Friday in really ****ty weather, 09 was in use and the vis was so ****ty i didnt see him the first two times, i did the third time, I saw an F4 well left of the centreline, low and very nose up, I commonly had the van door open and, following a quick "overshoot" call on local I was off and running!! Yes it probably would not have done me any good should the unthinkable have happened, but you got to try! The BCU man was about 50 meters away on the grass unaware of the unfolding drama and he assured me later it was a very close call. I called Local and the DP explained to them what i had just seen, and the aircraft buggered off to somewhere with better visibility and a Caravan Controller who had a more normal heart rate than mine!!
The other time was an F4 returning from some foreign jaunt late on a Friday in really ****ty weather, 09 was in use and the vis was so ****ty i didnt see him the first two times, i did the third time, I saw an F4 well left of the centreline, low and very nose up, I commonly had the van door open and, following a quick "overshoot" call on local I was off and running!! Yes it probably would not have done me any good should the unthinkable have happened, but you got to try! The BCU man was about 50 meters away on the grass unaware of the unfolding drama and he assured me later it was a very close call. I called Local and the DP explained to them what i had just seen, and the aircraft buggered off to somewhere with better visibility and a Caravan Controller who had a more normal heart rate than mine!!
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Good Shows, Swans & now DUCKS!!??
TaxyDual,
You embarrass me with your praise at #20. I tried to turn this "Good Show" down, as like you it seems like praise for doing your job. Did the cooks in the airmen's mess ever get praise for a fine cake they baked? (emm.. did we get cake?).
I didn't know about the Swan but early one grey winters morning, low cloud, occnl. snosh. Caravan parked up (Hoping not to have to put it out but to return it to it's lock up and back to my Officers type 5 MQ complete with avtur fired central heating) when out of the gloom comes Duck formation, a flight of three, downwind for the larger of the two ponds at the back of the tower.
Alls well until, at short finals, Duck lead notices that all is not well with the intended landing site and hits the TOGA button and instructs Duck 2&3 to overshoot. Downwind again with a slight increase in seperation, Duck lead on base leg to finals and every available feather hanging out, wing tip feathers working ten to the dozen to maintain a slow approach and, with legs outstretched, makes contact at the very edge of the ICE COVERED pond and slides gently off the end into a small stretch of clear water on the other side. Duck two emulates leads perfect arrival but Duck 3 (Junior Pilot?) arriving a bit slower, stumbles on touchdown, comes off his undercarriage and slithers to a halt short of the water. It was quite funny watching it get to its feet, waggle its backside and try to walk nonchalantly to the clear water to join his two mates who must have been laughing their beaks off at him. It was all go at RLG Dishforth!
p.s. I always thought that those two ponds, just the other side of the fence, behind the tower, looked a bit too man made and could possibly have been constructed by the Luftwaffe some time in the early 1940's but I found this on a Wiki about Dishforth:
"RAF Dishforth was so successful in its night operation bombing raids that Hitler himself ordered a raid against the airfield. The raid was completely unsuccessful as the bombing party was shot out of the sky over Gloucestershire" I wonder did maybe one manage to evade and attack? we'll probably never know. A342
You embarrass me with your praise at #20. I tried to turn this "Good Show" down, as like you it seems like praise for doing your job. Did the cooks in the airmen's mess ever get praise for a fine cake they baked? (emm.. did we get cake?).
I didn't know about the Swan but early one grey winters morning, low cloud, occnl. snosh. Caravan parked up (Hoping not to have to put it out but to return it to it's lock up and back to my Officers type 5 MQ complete with avtur fired central heating) when out of the gloom comes Duck formation, a flight of three, downwind for the larger of the two ponds at the back of the tower.
Alls well until, at short finals, Duck lead notices that all is not well with the intended landing site and hits the TOGA button and instructs Duck 2&3 to overshoot. Downwind again with a slight increase in seperation, Duck lead on base leg to finals and every available feather hanging out, wing tip feathers working ten to the dozen to maintain a slow approach and, with legs outstretched, makes contact at the very edge of the ICE COVERED pond and slides gently off the end into a small stretch of clear water on the other side. Duck two emulates leads perfect arrival but Duck 3 (Junior Pilot?) arriving a bit slower, stumbles on touchdown, comes off his undercarriage and slithers to a halt short of the water. It was quite funny watching it get to its feet, waggle its backside and try to walk nonchalantly to the clear water to join his two mates who must have been laughing their beaks off at him. It was all go at RLG Dishforth!
p.s. I always thought that those two ponds, just the other side of the fence, behind the tower, looked a bit too man made and could possibly have been constructed by the Luftwaffe some time in the early 1940's but I found this on a Wiki about Dishforth:
"RAF Dishforth was so successful in its night operation bombing raids that Hitler himself ordered a raid against the airfield. The raid was completely unsuccessful as the bombing party was shot out of the sky over Gloucestershire" I wonder did maybe one manage to evade and attack? we'll probably never know. A342
As an ex-RWC of many years.. what goes on in 'the van' stays in 'the Van' 
To call it the laziest job in TG9 5aday however, is doing the role and all that do it and have done it a major disservice.
Many many potential incidents have been stopped due the sharp eyes of the Runway controllers. Its always safety first above and beyond anything else, but it was always nice to get a 'Thanks' from the aircrew afterwards. One well known very angry Bucc/Tornado guy even made the effort to come down to the van to thank me in person once.
To call it the laziest job in TG9 5aday however, is doing the role and all that do it and have done it a major disservice.
Many many potential incidents have been stopped due the sharp eyes of the Runway controllers. Its always safety first above and beyond anything else, but it was always nice to get a 'Thanks' from the aircrew afterwards. One well known very angry Bucc/Tornado guy even made the effort to come down to the van to thank me in person once.
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Thread Starter
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p123,
It's not the first time a case of 'Dorty or similar has made its way to the 'van bur in one infamous circumstance was accompanied by a pack of new underpants.
Thanks Dickie!
It's not the first time a case of 'Dorty or similar has made its way to the 'van bur in one infamous circumstance was accompanied by a pack of new underpants.
Thanks Dickie!
Last edited by ACW342; 24th Mar 2017 at 16:16. Reason: case - not vase. bl**dy spill chuckers!
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All Creatures Large and Small ........
taxydual (#23),
Of course ! - had completely forgotten the Swan (what a story). Now that we've added Swans to our menagerie, perhaps Pigeons might be allowed into our Ark ?
Excerpt from one of my Posts:
...What about the Dishforth Swan? Does the following ring bells? It must have happened in your time in the Vale of York ?...
Excerpt from one of my Posts:
...All in all, ATC life was fairly pleasant at Dishforth, and I think little else but Local Control plus the odd QDM was needed, and one Controller could easily handle that in the top Tower with the slave CA/DF console there. A dual JP took off on 15 one morning. "Do you know ?", called the instructor in a pained voice: "that there's a chap with a van parked on the road just the other side of the hedge ? He's turned loose a whole crowd of pigeons, I've only just managed to miss them !" And indeed the birds were wheeling round over the field, racing pigeons, I suppose, picking up their bearings before setting Course for home. "Yes, I can see it, sir", confirmed the Runway Controller (up at my end), "It's quite a big van, right in line with the runway".
Clearly this was Something Up to Which we Could Not Put. I stopped take offs, broadcast a warning on Approach to "Leeming Combine" (luckily we'd nothing in circuit), and sent a lad with the L/Rover down to bid the unwelcome visitor cease, desist and begone. He drove down to a spot on our side of the hedge, and called our message over to the offender, who was preparing to release the next batch (apparently this has to be done at precisely timed and duly recorded intervals).
But perhaps our Assistant had delivered this demand in a little too peremptory a fashion, as it fell on stony ground. Instead, the pigeon man angrily declared that he had every
right to release his pigeons there; he was on a public road after all; he was a Yorkshire man on Yorkshire soil, and no little was going to tell him what to do. As for its aircraft, the RAF should mind its own business. So saying, he turned loose the next batch, and everything was a mass of whirring wings and feathers for a few moments.
Seeing that the man was large and bellicose, that only the hedge stood between them , and that didn't look exactly stock-proof, our chap hurriedly changed tack and tried sweet reason, pointing out that, not only would our aircraft be inconvenienced if they ingested one, but that one or more prized (and very valuable) racing birds (in his charge) would come out the back end well minced and fit only for pigeon-burgers.
That produced the desired result; our pigeon fancier up-staked and moved a mile or so up the road. We'd had the binoculars on this little drama, saw the van move off, and Dishforth opened again for business.
On this occasion, as sometimes happened, I'd been joined in the Tower by our junior M.O. (I think Leeming must have had two at the time), for a cup of tea and a chat. He was down there obviously because Leeming itself was hors-de-combat for the duration of the runway work; so any blood spilt would be at Dishforth, and his services more likely to be needed there.
As lunchtime approached, things had become very quiet. I put a monitor on frequency, took my headset off (to natter more easily) and put it down on the desk. Should an aircraft call, I'd pick up the (boom) mic and reply. Someone called for joining. I did so and gave him the spiel. "Say again !" he came back, I did so, "Can't hear you - you're very faint !", I tried again, louder, "No good - your mic's u/s !"
Then my Assistant touched my elbow gently, and pointed to - the bowl of my pipe, which I'd picked out of an ashtray and had been addressing all the time ! This was my first "Senior Moment", as I recall. All around were greatly amused - but I saw the M.O. looking at me with clinical concern !...
Clearly this was Something Up to Which we Could Not Put. I stopped take offs, broadcast a warning on Approach to "Leeming Combine" (luckily we'd nothing in circuit), and sent a lad with the L/Rover down to bid the unwelcome visitor cease, desist and begone. He drove down to a spot on our side of the hedge, and called our message over to the offender, who was preparing to release the next batch (apparently this has to be done at precisely timed and duly recorded intervals).
But perhaps our Assistant had delivered this demand in a little too peremptory a fashion, as it fell on stony ground. Instead, the pigeon man angrily declared that he had every
right to release his pigeons there; he was on a public road after all; he was a Yorkshire man on Yorkshire soil, and no little was going to tell him what to do. As for its aircraft, the RAF should mind its own business. So saying, he turned loose the next batch, and everything was a mass of whirring wings and feathers for a few moments.Seeing that the man was large and bellicose, that only the hedge stood between them , and that didn't look exactly stock-proof, our chap hurriedly changed tack and tried sweet reason, pointing out that, not only would our aircraft be inconvenienced if they ingested one, but that one or more prized (and very valuable) racing birds (in his charge) would come out the back end well minced and fit only for pigeon-burgers.
That produced the desired result; our pigeon fancier up-staked and moved a mile or so up the road. We'd had the binoculars on this little drama, saw the van move off, and Dishforth opened again for business.
On this occasion, as sometimes happened, I'd been joined in the Tower by our junior M.O. (I think Leeming must have had two at the time), for a cup of tea and a chat. He was down there obviously because Leeming itself was hors-de-combat for the duration of the runway work; so any blood spilt would be at Dishforth, and his services more likely to be needed there.
As lunchtime approached, things had become very quiet. I put a monitor on frequency, took my headset off (to natter more easily) and put it down on the desk. Should an aircraft call, I'd pick up the (boom) mic and reply. Someone called for joining. I did so and gave him the spiel. "Say again !" he came back, I did so, "Can't hear you - you're very faint !", I tried again, louder, "No good - your mic's u/s !"
Then my Assistant touched my elbow gently, and pointed to - the bowl of my pipe, which I'd picked out of an ashtray and had been addressing all the time ! This was my first "Senior Moment", as I recall. All around were greatly amused - but I saw the M.O. looking at me with clinical concern !...
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Ah, Danny, the days when the Approach Room would be IMC in tobacco smoke 
At Tengah we had nice ashtrays, fashioned from 'spare' domed taxiway lights, mounted in a circular aluminium strip-metal base. However, the ultimate sin was spilling you Coca-Cola on the desk, as it would permeate the mini-comms landline switch panels and, when it dried, apparently created an electrical circuit. Ground Radio then had to replace the unit, and perform detailed and delicate cleaning processes. Curiously, we had a Coke machine in the tower, so the peril was ever-present.
Undoubtedly everything is banned nowadays.
At Tengah we had nice ashtrays, fashioned from 'spare' domed taxiway lights, mounted in a circular aluminium strip-metal base. However, the ultimate sin was spilling you Coca-Cola on the desk, as it would permeate the mini-comms landline switch panels and, when it dried, apparently created an electrical circuit. Ground Radio then had to replace the unit, and perform detailed and delicate cleaning processes. Curiously, we had a Coke machine in the tower, so the peril was ever-present.
Undoubtedly everything is banned nowadays.
Just a reminder of when I was stuck in Xiamen owing to a PLAAF exercise.
It was now past 18.00 hrs and still no sign of the airspace being opened. In fact ATC were sure that it was going to be closed all night. I was just about to call it a day when our Chinese engineer came in with a slab of Coke and a carton of Marlborough. Jing took them off him and started handing them around the room. Five minutes later the one I assumed was SATCO came in with an enroute chart with a track pencilled in direct from Xiamin to a Shenzhen approach procedure entry point. This was apparently a ‘special route’ that had been cleared for us to use. Jing worked out the times, we put in the flight plan and twenty minutes later we launched into the night.
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All together now ...
#There is nothing like a SATCO, Nothing in the World ...#
#There is nothing like a SATCO, Nothing in the World ...#
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MPN11 (#29),
How else could we calm our shattered nerves ? And when the WRAF came in, Mark Twain (?) came to mind:
"First, God made Man - then he made Woman - then he felt sorry for Man and made Tobacco !"
Coke machines in Towers ! What next ! Ain't tea good enough for the likes of us ? What are WRAF Assistants there for except to brew tea for the Lords of the Universe ? Who got the profit from the machines ? NAAFI, I'll be bound !
Have heard that "Coke" is good for cleaning bumpers and loosening rusted-up nuts and bolts, too. Just think about what it must be doing to your guts !
Sounds like yours were posh ash trays. On the Squadrons we made use of sawn-off engine pistons, which for some reason seemed in plentiful supply (about five in dia).
(#31),
Too right ! - and just as well, too ! (only jealous).
Danny
...the days when the Approach Room would be IMC in tobacco smoke...
"First, God made Man - then he made Woman - then he felt sorry for Man and made Tobacco !"
Coke machines in Towers ! What next ! Ain't tea good enough for the likes of us ? What are WRAF Assistants there for except to brew tea for the Lords of the Universe ? Who got the profit from the machines ? NAAFI, I'll be bound !
Have heard that "Coke" is good for cleaning bumpers and loosening rusted-up nuts and bolts, too. Just think about what it must be doing to your guts !
Sounds like yours were posh ash trays. On the Squadrons we made use of sawn-off engine pistons, which for some reason seemed in plentiful supply (about five in dia).
(#31),
Too right ! - and just as well, too ! (only jealous).
Danny
Colas contain Phosphoric Acid. A quick look at what it is used for.
Which Industries Use This Chemical? How is the Chemical Used in This Industry?
Electroplating Acid Metal Cleaners - Oxide Removers
Integrated Iron and Steel Mfg - Pickling Acids
Laboratory - Chemicals Acids
Machinery Mfg and Repair - Clean wash agents
pH Regulation Agents - pH Adjustors for Water Treatment
Printed Circuit Board Manufacturing - Making PCB Holes Conductive
Printed Circuit Board Manufacturing - Outer Layer Etch/Plate - Print Circ Brd Mfg
Semiconductors - Wet Chemical Etching
Welding and Soldering Agents - Corrosive Flux Ingredients
Which Industries Use This Chemical? How is the Chemical Used in This Industry?
Electroplating Acid Metal Cleaners - Oxide Removers
Integrated Iron and Steel Mfg - Pickling Acids
Laboratory - Chemicals Acids
Machinery Mfg and Repair - Clean wash agents
pH Regulation Agents - pH Adjustors for Water Treatment
Printed Circuit Board Manufacturing - Making PCB Holes Conductive
Printed Circuit Board Manufacturing - Outer Layer Etch/Plate - Print Circ Brd Mfg
Semiconductors - Wet Chemical Etching
Welding and Soldering Agents - Corrosive Flux Ingredients
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Danny said "Coke machines in Towers! What next! Ain't tea good enough for the likes of us? What are WRAF Assistants there for except to brew tea for the Lords of the Universe? Who got the profit from the machines? NAAFI, I'll be bound!"
No idea who operated the system, but Coke machines were everywhere at Tengah: 20 cents a nicely chilled bottle, IIRC. I don't think we had any WRAF Assistants: our Tower 'cleaner and gofer', Frank Goh, did the brews, and would pop downstairs to get your Coke if you were stuck on a console.
Fareastdriver quoted ... "Printed Circuit Board Manufacturing - Making PCB Holes Conductive ".
That sounds like the issue! It dried like a brown varnish on the circuitry.
No idea who operated the system, but Coke machines were everywhere at Tengah: 20 cents a nicely chilled bottle, IIRC. I don't think we had any WRAF Assistants: our Tower 'cleaner and gofer', Frank Goh, did the brews, and would pop downstairs to get your Coke if you were stuck on a console.
Fareastdriver quoted ... "Printed Circuit Board Manufacturing - Making PCB Holes Conductive ".
That sounds like the issue! It dried like a brown varnish on the circuitry.
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Hadley Boxes and coffee
Working in the tower on an East Anglian fighter field one day (before my days in Caravans), staff had been read the riot act about coffee constantly being spilt on the Hadley Box, you know the one with switches labelled from left to right such as "Stn. Cdr, Wg. Cdr Ops, OC xxSqn OC xxxSqn,OCEng" etc etc, and which required constant cleaning/repair by the guys down in Ground Radio, when Baseball comes up to local to chat with local controller and sets coffee cup down right next to said Hadley box and... yes, you guessed it , with a sweep of his right arm, gesturing to something or somewhere on the airfield the contents of an almost full cup disappears into the device. It went very quiet for a few seconds before I was instructed to call Ground Radio and get the box changed before a very red faced SATCO quietly got up and departed downstairs to his office. Oops
The following day a missive was promulgated which forbade all staff and visitors from placing drinks on the pedestal containing the Hadley Box, and a large sign screwed next thereto.
The following day a missive was promulgated which forbade all staff and visitors from placing drinks on the pedestal containing the Hadley Box, and a large sign screwed next thereto.
We had a NATO exchange officer arrive at Odiham once who was taking up a flight commanders position. He was briefed on the Hadley box and one of his questions was whether you could set it so that you could hear conversations on the other side.
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Never Volunteer !
MPN11 (#34),
At Carlstrom Field (my p.118 #2354 on "Pilot's Brevet").
...I must say that they did introduce an attempt of humour in one of their Met exams: one of the choices for "What is the Tropopause?" was "The Pause which Refreshes" (ad for Coca Cola!)
"Coke" cost 5c a bottle. [5 cents (US) in 1941. How would that compare (taking inflation into account ?] It ruled the market, its two principal competitors Pepsicola and the unwisely named Royal Crown Cola - (try saying "R.C.Cola" quickly) couldn't make a dent in its sales, in spite of selling double the quantity for the same price.
["Twice as much for a nickel, too -
PepsiCola is the Drink for You !"]
But the Coke machines would take only nickels, and soon they mopped up all the nickels on the camp. Plaintive cries of "Anyone got two nickels for a dime?" could be heard all over. The story was that "Coke" then contained cocaine, and was habit-forming, and there may have been some truth in it. Every day, the "Coke" salesman rolled up to collect the cash and refill the machines. He would be inundated with offers to change dollars (and even five-dollar bills) into nickels. He never had to carry away much small change...
ACW342 (#35),
I believe NAAFI pianos were supposed to have "pitched roofs", to discourage use as parking places for pints of ale. Can't say I noticed them myself - but many others must remember ?
Very Old Joke: "Any of you play the piano ? .... (two or three eager sets of hands are raised) ......"Right, come over to the NAAFI with me, they want theirs shifted across to the Barrack Store ... (a quarter-mile away !)
(only works on recruits with less than 14 days service).
Danny.
...No idea who operated the system, but Coke machines were everywhere at Tengah: 20 cents but a nicely chilled bottle, IIRC...
...I must say that they did introduce an attempt of humour in one of their Met exams: one of the choices for "What is the Tropopause?" was "The Pause which Refreshes" (ad for Coca Cola!)
"Coke" cost 5c a bottle. [5 cents (US) in 1941. How would that compare (taking inflation into account ?] It ruled the market, its two principal competitors Pepsicola and the unwisely named Royal Crown Cola - (try saying "R.C.Cola" quickly) couldn't make a dent in its sales, in spite of selling double the quantity for the same price.
["Twice as much for a nickel, too -
PepsiCola is the Drink for You !"]
But the Coke machines would take only nickels, and soon they mopped up all the nickels on the camp. Plaintive cries of "Anyone got two nickels for a dime?" could be heard all over. The story was that "Coke" then contained cocaine, and was habit-forming, and there may have been some truth in it. Every day, the "Coke" salesman rolled up to collect the cash and refill the machines. He would be inundated with offers to change dollars (and even five-dollar bills) into nickels. He never had to carry away much small change...
...The following day a missive was promulgated which forbade all staff and visitors from placing drinks on the pedestal containing the Hadley Box, and a large sign screwed next thereto...
Very Old Joke: "Any of you play the piano ? .... (two or three eager sets of hands are raised) ......"Right, come over to the NAAFI with me, they want theirs shifted across to the Barrack Store ... (a quarter-mile away !)
(only works on recruits with less than 14 days service).
Danny.
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For 5 very happy years i was that guy in Ground Radio but only once in that time did I experience a coffee mincoms coming together. Hadley Box downstairs squawked, I answered and was requested to get into approach sharpish with a screwdriver. Minutes later I was ripping boxes out and offering the useless advice that frequencies would be lost but I'm clueless which ones and on which consoles. Poor lad responsible hadn't been there long (Laarbruch, 75ish) and I have a feeling it was the start of his first tour. Warm soapy water eventually returned everything to normal and no harm done but we were all sworn to secrecy so SATCO didn't find out to protect young lads thus far very short and noticeable career.
Fast forward to the fortnightly beer call which was downstair's turn to host and there's an extra slab from somewhere. SATCO gets up to wish the young lad a very happy birthday, goes on to praise his fledgling career thus far and finishes with a, 'Oh, and don't spill your coffee on a console again.' Can't remember if the lad went bright red or whiter than white but a great lesson delivered for all to learn from.
Regrettably I can't recall the 1975ish SATCO's name but he ensured that ATC and Ground Radio were one team. A GREAT bloke, father to many and despite being the most junior of junior techs I always felt and was made entirely at home anywhere in the tower. There followed another 35 years in uniform but only 1 more Ground Radio, El Adem with grass. I don't think any other tour touched Laarbruch for comradery.
Sorry, the above is a little off topic and I can't even remember if Laarbruch had a caravan. It did have a hole in the ground at each end called a cupola but I don't think that counts.
Fast forward to the fortnightly beer call which was downstair's turn to host and there's an extra slab from somewhere. SATCO gets up to wish the young lad a very happy birthday, goes on to praise his fledgling career thus far and finishes with a, 'Oh, and don't spill your coffee on a console again.' Can't remember if the lad went bright red or whiter than white but a great lesson delivered for all to learn from.
Regrettably I can't recall the 1975ish SATCO's name but he ensured that ATC and Ground Radio were one team. A GREAT bloke, father to many and despite being the most junior of junior techs I always felt and was made entirely at home anywhere in the tower. There followed another 35 years in uniform but only 1 more Ground Radio, El Adem with grass. I don't think any other tour touched Laarbruch for comradery.
Sorry, the above is a little off topic and I can't even remember if Laarbruch had a caravan. It did have a hole in the ground at each end called a cupola but I don't think that counts.
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It's Not Working (#38),
All right, I'll buy it - WTF is this "Cupola" and what did it do ? Was at Geilenkirchen '60-'62 and we didn't have one.
Rescued one of your Canberras one dirty night with our CPN-4; Mission XX A had landed with you, one u/c folded, a/c reclined gracefully on runway on one ear.
Mission XX B up creek without paddle (would take 30 mins min to clear runway, he'd got 20 mins fuel). We were the only diversion, got him down no trouble at all with five mins fuel remaining.
As "Talkdown", felt glow of self-satisfaction. Pilot's "Thank you" all the reward I needed.
Happy Days ! Long ago now. Danny.
...I can't even remember if Laarbruch had a caravan. It did have a hole in the ground at each end called a cupola but I don't think that counts...
Rescued one of your Canberras one dirty night with our CPN-4; Mission XX A had landed with you, one u/c folded, a/c reclined gracefully on runway on one ear.
Mission XX B up creek without paddle (would take 30 mins min to clear runway, he'd got 20 mins fuel). We were the only diversion, got him down no trouble at all with five mins fuel remaining.
As "Talkdown", felt glow of self-satisfaction. Pilot's "Thank you" all the reward I needed.
Happy Days ! Long ago now. Danny.
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Sorry Danny, the capola (capoli?) was/were a concreate room sunken into the ground at both ends of the runway. The only part of the structure at ground level was a hatch for the unfortunate occupant to open and climb down into and a glass capola big enough for one person to look outside to see if his world still existed - Cold War RAFG etc etc. As ground radio the bunker had to be fettled once a month but all it contained was some basic furniture and a couple of ARC52 UHF sets, there might even have been a CADF in one of them. Given the frequency of mini, maxi and tacivals Laarbruch enjoyed in the 70s I image ATC occupied them at similar intervals. I recall one being designated as Local and the other Approach but I can't remember if they swapped roles if the runway swapped directions, given only one had a CADF, IIRC, I'd imagine not but it was a long time ago.