Amusing Sayings
Join Date: Nov 2007
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When observing an overweight WRAF squeezed into uniform "Ten pounds of **** in a five pound bag"
The feeling of dehydration after a heavy night on the booze, "my mouth feels like the inside of a ****smugglers rucksack"
" I heard your mother keeps cage birds?" eh? I heard she's had a c##k or two!
The feeling of dehydration after a heavy night on the booze, "my mouth feels like the inside of a ****smugglers rucksack"
" I heard your mother keeps cage birds?" eh? I heard she's had a c##k or two!
My police daughter on first issue of a ladies' size truncheon.
"Yes, but where does the battery go?"
"Yes, but where does the battery go?"
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: In the workshop, Prune-whispering.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Join Date: Aug 2013
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March the guilty barstward in
My mate Rick (RIP) was volunteered for a station parade. During the full ‘Dress Rehearsal’ they had an inspection by the parade commander who stopped at Rick and said.
“Are those your best shoes airman?”
Rick replied
“No sir”
Inspecting officer-
Why didn’t you wear your best shoes airman?”
Rick
“Didn’t think you’d like em sir”
Inspecting officer-
“Why not airman?”
Rick
“Cos they’re Brown Suede Sir”
I too thought it was a tall tail until our new W/Cdr OC Engineering walked into the office saw Rick and said “Still got those Brown Suede Shoes Chief?”
“Are those your best shoes airman?”
Rick replied
“No sir”
Inspecting officer-
Why didn’t you wear your best shoes airman?”
Rick
“Didn’t think you’d like em sir”
Inspecting officer-
“Why not airman?”
Rick
“Cos they’re Brown Suede Sir”
I too thought it was a tall tail until our new W/Cdr OC Engineering walked into the office saw Rick and said “Still got those Brown Suede Shoes Chief?”
Join Date: Nov 2012
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Re #204
DFF - Don't Fcuk Fatties. As used frequently by an Army guy in our office.
His mate was nick named Cattle Prod **bb as when they went to grab a granny he always went for the oldest and ugliest one as he knew she would be most grateful.
DFF - Don't Fcuk Fatties. As used frequently by an Army guy in our office.
His mate was nick named Cattle Prod **bb as when they went to grab a granny he always went for the oldest and ugliest one as he knew she would be most grateful.
Tern Hill Toilet Wall:
"Its no good standing on the seat
the crabs in here can jump 6 feet
And if you think that's f8€King high
Go next door, those B@stards fly!
On a 6442:
"I've thought about this airman's positive properties and have concluded that he can ride a bicycle!"
On the Line:
"...not me Chief. I'm engines waiting for a Bowser."
And
"Focking Focker is Focking Focked!!"
"Its no good standing on the seat
the crabs in here can jump 6 feet
And if you think that's f8€King high
Go next door, those B@stards fly!
On a 6442:
"I've thought about this airman's positive properties and have concluded that he can ride a bicycle!"
On the Line:
"...not me Chief. I'm engines waiting for a Bowser."
And
"Focking Focker is Focking Focked!!"
Originally Posted by Pontius Navigator
If you can't fix it with a hammer it's electrical.
If you can't fix it with a hammer it's electrical.
You can if it's an MGB fuel pump
- many years ago - whilst on a 12 month gliding holiday in zimbabwe (with occasional work breaks on Hawk T60's)I owned an Austin Apache (cute little car,basically austin 1100 with triumph front and back end glued on) - 3 of us driving from Gwelo up to Salisbury,very hot day and on the way back the SU electric fuel pump packed up - the only way we got home was to pull the rear seat back out and get the rear seat passenger to keep clouting it with a jacking handle
(pump was mounted in the boot).One of the earliest scribblings I saw in the RAF was a flight safety poster on inside of bog door proclaiming ' Promote Flight Safety' - and scrawled underneath it was ' By not Fokin Flying'
Always open to input from those of lower rank or status, in fact some of their ideas have been my best ideas however there also comes a point where the single issue lunatic needs to be put in his place. This is normally achieved quite successfully with "We're going to play a game of paper, scissors, rank. I'll go first......"
- many years ago - whilst on a 12 month gliding holiday in zimbabwe (with occasional work breaks on Hawk T60's)I owned an Austin Apache (cute little car,basically austin 1100 with triumph front and back end glued on) - 3 of us driving from Gwelo up to Salisbury,very hot day and on the way back the SU electric fuel pump packed up - the only way we got home was to pull the rear seat back out and get the rear seat passenger to keep clouting it with a jacking handle
(pump was mounted in the boot).One of the earliest scribblings I saw in the RAF was a flight safety poster on inside of bog door proclaiming ' Promote Flight Safety' - and scrawled underneath it was ' By not Fokin Flying'
Join Date: Oct 2007
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We had a Sub Lt on the BOC course after me called Leathers, short for leatherman cos he was a tool for all occasions.
Actually he was a pretty decent guy, unfortunately lost his life in the Lynx crash off Plymouth searching for a man over board that turned out to be a false alarm..
Actually he was a pretty decent guy, unfortunately lost his life in the Lynx crash off Plymouth searching for a man over board that turned out to be a false alarm..