Horse-play in the Mess
Enjoy the stories from the good old days, the fun police have ensured the mess is a "high spirits" free zone today so there won't be any new ones.......
Exascot,
Yes, and, I'm sure, even Flt Lt ******** there, in his suedes was thought slightly louche by some 
I had a couple of shirts made with ties of the same fabric in order to see how many double-takes I could score from our senior officers. What a little sh1t!
Yes Basil and not a 'grow bag' in sight
I had a couple of shirts made with ties of the same fabric in order to see how many double-takes I could score from our senior officers. What a little sh1t!
The rather annoying postscript to that particular piano burning was that after the JPs had dutifully carried out the torching on the Air Cdr's orders it was the JPs that were left to pay for it. He denied all knowledge.
Wasn't a cheap piano either from what I heard. No wonder that most people at Colt were very happy when the the Air Cdr's boast about taking the last jag out of Colt didn't happen.
Gentleman Aviator
Yes, and, I'm sure, even Flt Lt ******** there, in his suedes was thought slightly louche by some
I had a couple of shirts made with ties of the same fabric in order to see how many double-takes I could score from our senior officers. What a little sh1t
I had a couple of shirts made with ties of the same fabric in order to see how many double-takes I could score from our senior officers. What a little sh1t
One dressed "adventurously" oneself in ones youth, and was - on occasion - accused of being a "Weekend Hippy"!
At BFTS, we also had the problem of a living-in bachelor Sqn Cdr. One time I was thrown out of Saturday Breakfast by the same, for daring to wear a cravat (told you I was adventurous!) with my natty cav twill/Tattersall shirt/tweed jacket/Hush Puppy ensemble (yes, really children!), with the immortal words:
"Teeteringhead, whatever that is you have around your neck, it does not constitute a tie within the meaning of Mess Rules. Get Out!"
Mainjafad
You're not wrong. In fact it was well known by everyone in the Colt Officers Mess that it was not a burner. Without specific orders it would never have been touched. C'est la vie.
In fairness he may not have specifically been aware that the JPs were picking up the tab since I can't be sure anyone ever told him that it needed paying for. However, the burning was preceeded by a very obvious confrontation between said VSO and OC Admin witnessed by many so there should never have been any doubt who had called for the bottle of Brandy and matches.
BV
In fairness he may not have specifically been aware that the JPs were picking up the tab since I can't be sure anyone ever told him that it needed paying for. However, the burning was preceeded by a very obvious confrontation between said VSO and OC Admin witnessed by many so there should never have been any doubt who had called for the bottle of Brandy and matches.
BV
Speaking of horseplay in the mess - I recently finished reading Robin Olds autobiography, now THAT'S how a fighter pilot should live his life, I recommend both the book and the lifestyle.
He was of course the first American to be given command of a British combat squadron (Meteors) and he frequently made mention of an officer's mess game called "Highcockalorum" I believe (spelling ?).
He didn't describe it in great detail but said he took the rules back to the US with him and introduced it to American pilots.
The game was described as essentially a combination of drunken mayhem, brawling, and a form of open warfare between participants.
Please can someone provide details ???
He was of course the first American to be given command of a British combat squadron (Meteors) and he frequently made mention of an officer's mess game called "Highcockalorum" I believe (spelling ?).
He didn't describe it in great detail but said he took the rules back to the US with him and introduced it to American pilots.
The game was described as essentially a combination of drunken mayhem, brawling, and a form of open warfare between participants.
Please can someone provide details ???
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Fonsini, Sounds like Mess Rugby. This is similar to Ruby OR Gaelic Football OR Australian (No) Rules. Only to be played after consuming large amounts of alcohol, otherwise serious injuries may occur. Not for the faint hearted.
Highcokalorum?
There were two teams of about eight or more.
The head of one team stood with his back to the wall with No. 1 ducked down facing him with his head between his legs. No2 was behind No.1 with his head between No1.'s legs and so on. You then had a line of blokes looking like a caterpillar.
The other team would take it in turn to vault over the rearmost member of the caterpillar and land with maximum effect on one of the other team. He would remain there and then another one would then vault and join him. Bouncing and bumping to was permitted and the object was to load one of the crouching team until he collapsed.
The would normally happen once you had got four or five on one person. Sometimes to their severe injury.
It was banned in the early sixties.
There were two teams of about eight or more.
The head of one team stood with his back to the wall with No. 1 ducked down facing him with his head between his legs. No2 was behind No.1 with his head between No1.'s legs and so on. You then had a line of blokes looking like a caterpillar.
The other team would take it in turn to vault over the rearmost member of the caterpillar and land with maximum effect on one of the other team. He would remain there and then another one would then vault and join him. Bouncing and bumping to was permitted and the object was to load one of the crouching team until he collapsed.
The would normally happen once you had got four or five on one person. Sometimes to their severe injury.
It was banned in the early sixties.
Hicockalorum
a.k.a. "Trust" (Lon More would recall).
Two teams 10-12 being typical.
Requirement : one large area ( e.g.dining room or bar) with a spare amount of wall space.
First team : One (or preferably two or three for buffer effect) stand with backs against the wall, in tandem. Wall guy locks arms around mate in front. Both have legs splayed.
First of the "bench" bends down with head between legs of wall team and also splays legs. Next man does same behind him ans so on until you have a line of guys so positioned coming out from the wall .
Second team: Each in turn runs up and jumps, i.e. does a flying leap, along the "bench" to land on it.Rapidly followed by the rest of the team, aim being to collapse the "bench".
(There are tactics to this, e.g. everyone pile on No .3- or worse, the end man) )
Once last man is aboard there is a count of ten whilst the second team attempt to break down the "bench".
Following the success or otherwise of this episode, the teams reverse and the next round is played.
Apparently banned in RAF messes for some many decades now ( can't think how I learned it
)
Two teams 10-12 being typical.
Requirement : one large area ( e.g.dining room or bar) with a spare amount of wall space.
First team : One (or preferably two or three for buffer effect) stand with backs against the wall, in tandem. Wall guy locks arms around mate in front. Both have legs splayed.
First of the "bench" bends down with head between legs of wall team and also splays legs. Next man does same behind him ans so on until you have a line of guys so positioned coming out from the wall .
Second team: Each in turn runs up and jumps, i.e. does a flying leap, along the "bench" to land on it.Rapidly followed by the rest of the team, aim being to collapse the "bench".
(There are tactics to this, e.g. everyone pile on No .3- or worse, the end man) )
Once last man is aboard there is a count of ten whilst the second team attempt to break down the "bench".
Following the success or otherwise of this episode, the teams reverse and the next round is played.
Apparently banned in RAF messes for some many decades now ( can't think how I learned it
)
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Hicockalorum
Played it at my, boys only, school. It was called Jump Jimmy Knacker in those distant days. Played it again in the RAF, post rugby game pi$$-ups.
Played it at my, boys only, school. It was called Jump Jimmy Knacker in those distant days. Played it again in the RAF, post rugby game pi$$-ups.
At the end of DENY FLIGHT party in Colt Mess, I remember hearing from the PMC that the Mess piano was not a burner as they had bought a nasty £50 effort left outside for this purpose. Guess what? The "not-a-burner" burned quite well!
What was even funnier was that the burners of the "not a burner" were on Form 95s as the Mess was full and therefore only those that stayed in the Mess had a "piano supplement" added to their Mess bills! That'll learn those for not booking accomodation until the very last minute (basics, ladies and gents!).
Good party though, from the Jag mates (which was another reason not to stay in the Mess as the locks on the doors are somewhat flimsy for ease of access).
LJ
What was even funnier was that the burners of the "not a burner" were on Form 95s as the Mess was full and therefore only those that stayed in the Mess had a "piano supplement" added to their Mess bills! That'll learn those for not booking accomodation until the very last minute (basics, ladies and gents!).
Good party though, from the Jag mates (which was another reason not to stay in the Mess as the locks on the doors are somewhat flimsy for ease of access
).LJ
^^^^Game described above^^^^
I always knew that game as "Mutti Kitty 123"...
Learned how to play that in the Scouts and "Scottish Greyhound" after "British Bulldog" was banned!
LJ
I always knew that game as "Mutti Kitty 123"...
Learned how to play that in the Scouts and "Scottish Greyhound" after "British Bulldog" was banned!
LJ
Banned in the ,60s??
Last played Highcokalorum in a mess in 1990. Last had to dodge a motorcycle being ridden at high speed down a mess corridor in 1984. Car driven through burning piano by a Station Commander? 1988. Drove a burning car? 1992
We were still having fun until the end of the Cold War
When will they ever learn that such comments are simply a challenge?
Last played Highcokalorum in a mess in 1990. Last had to dodge a motorcycle being ridden at high speed down a mess corridor in 1984. Car driven through burning piano by a Station Commander? 1988. Drove a burning car? 1992
We were still having fun until the end of the Cold War
hearing from the PMC that the Mess piano was not a burner
Random thoughts:
Highcockalorum was certainly around in the 70s
Cat launches of the wardroom joanna were an exercise in logistics to get the darn thing onto the flight deck. Just fitting through hatches designed to keep water out was one thing, but maneuvering the piano into the weapons delivery lift to get it up to the flight deck was another!
After a boring wardroom dinner at Culdrose I thought it a jolly jape to ride my Honda step through up the carpeted steps into the bar and ride around the fireplace: Wings was good enough to charge me a horses neck and let the rest of the guys try to set lap records.
Friday Happy Hour at CU would often degenerate into pingers vs junglies. Moet was the weapon of choice, only 19/6d a bottle but on our salary it made a fair dent in the mess bill!
Occasional dinnertime event was to make a long rope from tying the napkins together and sending the junior midshipman under the tables to tie it to a senior officer's chair. A concerted pull by all involved usually removed the chair and started the evening on a downward spiral.
Tradition was that most carrier squadrons took on a spare pilot or observer for the long deployments (6 months away or more) to allow for 'wardroom damage'. Catching a 6" shellcase ashtray thrown across the wardroom bar when three sheets to the wind oft led to broken bones or worse.
Which leads on to the Vixen (?) driver who had his scalp opened one night, and was duly carted off to the sickbay to be stitched up (literally) by Doc Adamson. Swathes of bandages duly wrapped around the wound and back to the bar. Day or so later the pilot was complaining of the large lump under the bandage but told in no uncertain terms not to worry and leave it alone by Doc. A lot of mumbling until Saturday lunchtime in the bar, Doc deemed it the right time to remove the bandage there and then. Most of the attendant drinkers were quite amused to see the shipboard fuse attached to the needlework
Highcockalorum was certainly around in the 70s
Cat launches of the wardroom joanna were an exercise in logistics to get the darn thing onto the flight deck. Just fitting through hatches designed to keep water out was one thing, but maneuvering the piano into the weapons delivery lift to get it up to the flight deck was another!
After a boring wardroom dinner at Culdrose I thought it a jolly jape to ride my Honda step through up the carpeted steps into the bar and ride around the fireplace: Wings was good enough to charge me a horses neck and let the rest of the guys try to set lap records.
Friday Happy Hour at CU would often degenerate into pingers vs junglies. Moet was the weapon of choice, only 19/6d a bottle but on our salary it made a fair dent in the mess bill!
Occasional dinnertime event was to make a long rope from tying the napkins together and sending the junior midshipman under the tables to tie it to a senior officer's chair. A concerted pull by all involved usually removed the chair and started the evening on a downward spiral.
Tradition was that most carrier squadrons took on a spare pilot or observer for the long deployments (6 months away or more) to allow for 'wardroom damage'. Catching a 6" shellcase ashtray thrown across the wardroom bar when three sheets to the wind oft led to broken bones or worse.
Which leads on to the Vixen (?) driver who had his scalp opened one night, and was duly carted off to the sickbay to be stitched up (literally) by Doc Adamson. Swathes of bandages duly wrapped around the wound and back to the bar. Day or so later the pilot was complaining of the large lump under the bandage but told in no uncertain terms not to worry and leave it alone by Doc. A lot of mumbling until Saturday lunchtime in the bar, Doc deemed it the right time to remove the bandage there and then. Most of the attendant drinkers were quite amused to see the shipboard fuse attached to the needlework
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What classes as 'Stupid behaviour' in the 'mess' and is considered as and treated as horseplay would, if carried out by a J/R in the NAAFI or Barrack Block be considered as and treated/punished as criminal damage/assault in 99% of cases.... It FEKIN* Stinks.... Criminal damage/assault is criminal damage/assault and should be treated and punished as such.... If it kills a career then it kills a career and maybe the culprit should have thought a bit before making a twonk of themselves.
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* Apologies for language more suited to ARRSE, but one feels strongly about the subject and percieved inequalities apparent in the system....
What classes as 'Stupid behaviour' in the 'mess' and is considered as and treated as horseplay would, if carried out by a J/R in the NAAFI or Barrack Block be considered as and treated/punished as criminal damage/assault in 99% of cases.... It FEKIN* Stinks.... Criminal damage/assault is criminal damage/assault and should be treated and punished as such.... If it kills a career then it kills a career and maybe the culprit should have thought a bit before making a twonk of themselves.
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* Apologies for language more suited to ARRSE, but one feels strongly about the subject and percieved inequalities apparent in the system....
An interesting point Sapper.
Not an attempt to justify the difference, but ultimately the reason for the difference probably lies in the answers to the following questions.
1) If we don't let the Junior Officers/Junior Ranks 'let off steam', what happens?
2) If we do, etc....?
After the Cold War, when an ever-increasing number of the Rules suddenly started being applied to the letter, I left early, as did many others. Your rules, but my life.
Did occasional flagrant disregard for Rules lead to a breakdown in discipline among Junior Officers when it mattered operationally? No, not a bit of it.
I can recall several occasions when a look at the Mess at 0700 hrs would reveal an apocalyptic scene, yet by 1159 hrs the place was spotless. Once this involved, among other tasks, relaying an entire croquet lawn (finding that much grass on a Sunday morning in rural Wales is, pardon the pun, sodding difficult). Furthermore, on no occasion were the Mess staff expected to clear up after us - we did it ourselves.
Certainly on operational squadrons there were times, especially on detachment, when our JR were supplied with copious quantities of alcohol and left to their own devices, with ample time for a clear-up in the morning before any inspection.
What is your perspective from the JR side?
Not an attempt to justify the difference, but ultimately the reason for the difference probably lies in the answers to the following questions.
1) If we don't let the Junior Officers/Junior Ranks 'let off steam', what happens?
2) If we do, etc....?
After the Cold War, when an ever-increasing number of the Rules suddenly started being applied to the letter, I left early, as did many others. Your rules, but my life.
Did occasional flagrant disregard for Rules lead to a breakdown in discipline among Junior Officers when it mattered operationally? No, not a bit of it.
I can recall several occasions when a look at the Mess at 0700 hrs would reveal an apocalyptic scene, yet by 1159 hrs the place was spotless. Once this involved, among other tasks, relaying an entire croquet lawn (finding that much grass on a Sunday morning in rural Wales is, pardon the pun, sodding difficult). Furthermore, on no occasion were the Mess staff expected to clear up after us - we did it ourselves.
Certainly on operational squadrons there were times, especially on detachment, when our JR were supplied with copious quantities of alcohol and left to their own devices, with ample time for a clear-up in the morning before any inspection.
What is your perspective from the JR side?
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Fox3, My perspective?
Probably slightly one sided considering my background before joining up (2.5 years as a Constable in Devon & Cornwall Constabulary, I was one of those that would have nicked me own grandmother for fartin or shall we just say 'keen')...
Personally I didnt find a need to get legless, break stuff or have a right bun fight to have fun...
Germany, circa 1981 RE Regt. Mess Dinner, local town dignitaries invited to O/Mess dinner. A few J/O's having made merry with pre meal drinks decided the second course wasnt coming out at the speed they wished and started banging plates, eating irons etc on their table and managed to break the extending part off the main table. Town Mayor and other guests not impressed (rumour had it table had been a gift to the mess by the Stadt or something) anyway guests had a nice evenings entertainment by the 'stars' of the regt and went away with the expected opinion. Culprits reqd to pay for repairs nothing further said apart from 'it never happend, RIGHT' or words to that effect to the waiting on 'voluntolds' (I was one, btw). One other thing, their behaviour brought the Regt and Corp into disrespect and just made us look like a bunch of numpties in front of the Regts Guests and that is UNFORGIVABLE
Couple of weeks later, late (very) noisy drinks in Sqn Bar, no damage. them as was there ended up on OC's orders, fined and 3 days ROPS (I wasnt there btw).
UK, RE Regt. O/Mess. I did a stint as Mess Manager (omg....) the amount of time that I had to take various bits of silver to the local jewellers for repair after some drunken (supposedly responsible Commisioned Officer that the toms were meant to look up to as a Troop Commander) had busted through 'horse play' or just downright 'lets throw it across the room' itis was embarrassing. I was on first name terms with the jewellers even to the point of them knowing how many sugars I took in a brew ffs. What happend to the culprits? They sometimes got the bill, but never charged mostly the repairs came out of mess funds.
Any of the guys doing something similar in the NAAFI and they were on OC's then CO's before the week was out.
Many other examples.
I don't know, right or wrong but it ALWAYS seemed to me that there was two Army's there was one that the Commisioned Ranks were in and then there was the other one. And then you had the farce (in peacetime anyway) of the person setting the rules (OC / CO) being the judge and jury on orders.
My view, right or wrong. To be honest I dont think they really understood just how much it pi**ed off the lads to see one group of the Regt (who were through their position meant to be responsible and setting an example) getting away with stuff while they would be hammered for far less.
Should we allow them to 'let of steam' ? Of course, but there's limits and the playing field should be level and BE SEEN TO BE LEVEL otherwise we have resentment setting in and a lack of respect which can lead to loss of discipline.
Am I glad I did the 22 years? yes, would I do it again? yes, but next time I would take the advice from the recruiting centre and go get a few A levels/degree and go for a commission.
Probably slightly one sided considering my background before joining up (2.5 years as a Constable in Devon & Cornwall Constabulary, I was one of those that would have nicked me own grandmother for fartin or shall we just say 'keen')...
Personally I didnt find a need to get legless, break stuff or have a right bun fight to have fun...
Germany, circa 1981 RE Regt. Mess Dinner, local town dignitaries invited to O/Mess dinner. A few J/O's having made merry with pre meal drinks decided the second course wasnt coming out at the speed they wished and started banging plates, eating irons etc on their table and managed to break the extending part off the main table. Town Mayor and other guests not impressed (rumour had it table had been a gift to the mess by the Stadt or something) anyway guests had a nice evenings entertainment by the 'stars' of the regt and went away with the expected opinion. Culprits reqd to pay for repairs nothing further said apart from 'it never happend, RIGHT' or words to that effect to the waiting on 'voluntolds' (I was one, btw). One other thing, their behaviour brought the Regt and Corp into disrespect and just made us look like a bunch of numpties in front of the Regts Guests and that is UNFORGIVABLE
Couple of weeks later, late (very) noisy drinks in Sqn Bar, no damage. them as was there ended up on OC's orders, fined and 3 days ROPS (I wasnt there btw).
UK, RE Regt. O/Mess. I did a stint as Mess Manager (omg....) the amount of time that I had to take various bits of silver to the local jewellers for repair after some drunken (supposedly responsible Commisioned Officer that the toms were meant to look up to as a Troop Commander) had busted through 'horse play' or just downright 'lets throw it across the room' itis was embarrassing. I was on first name terms with the jewellers even to the point of them knowing how many sugars I took in a brew ffs. What happend to the culprits? They sometimes got the bill, but never charged mostly the repairs came out of mess funds.
Any of the guys doing something similar in the NAAFI and they were on OC's then CO's before the week was out.
Many other examples.
I don't know, right or wrong but it ALWAYS seemed to me that there was two Army's there was one that the Commisioned Ranks were in and then there was the other one. And then you had the farce (in peacetime anyway) of the person setting the rules (OC / CO) being the judge and jury on orders.
My view, right or wrong. To be honest I dont think they really understood just how much it pi**ed off the lads to see one group of the Regt (who were through their position meant to be responsible and setting an example) getting away with stuff while they would be hammered for far less.
Should we allow them to 'let of steam' ? Of course, but there's limits and the playing field should be level and BE SEEN TO BE LEVEL otherwise we have resentment setting in and a lack of respect which can lead to loss of discipline.
Am I glad I did the 22 years? yes, would I do it again? yes, but next time I would take the advice from the recruiting centre and go get a few A levels/degree and go for a commission.
On RAF Squadrons, there is no damaging "horseplay" with civilian guests around, and there is a Sqn Silver Officer who deals personally with any repairs (though damaging the Sqn Silver is also never done).
You get some right jerks in the Army, don't you?
You get some right jerks in the Army, don't you?
