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Egg banjos bounced by sarnie barmy army

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Old 5th Mar 2014, 06:10
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Egg banjos bounced by sarnie barmy army

Apols for the tabloid-esque headline, I'm not sure what Major General James Cowan would make of a warmish and relatively raw Lady L's egg banjo spurting down the front of one's top.

Either way, he has taken the time to "hit out" in a "rant" about sandwiches. “Quite a few officers in the divisional mess seem to be under the impression that they can eat their food with their hands. The practice of serving rolls and sandwiches has to stop."

My bold and italics, but it suited the moment. You'll have to take a moment to subscribe to the Sun Online to read any more. But if you're the sort of 'chap' (that's going to set pulses racing too I imagine) to eat with your hands your log in details will never be more than a synapse away anyway.

Army?s barmy sarnie barney | The Sun |News
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 07:00
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Originally Posted by Al R
“Quite a few officers in the divisional mess seem to be under the impression that they can eat their food with their hands. The practice of serving rolls and sandwiches has to stop."
Nothing wrong with rolls and sandwiches. The problem comes with finger buffets. Using a knife and fork with which to eat ones sandwiches and cakes for afternoon tea should not present a problem.



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Old 5th Mar 2014, 07:04
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When I first read that quote, it seemed to suggest the general was lamenting the fact that his army brethern had only mistakenly thought they had grasped how to eat with their fingers.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 07:46
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Don't they serve finger food in messes in the uk ?


I would have thought he had bigger things to worry about !
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 07:56
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Maybe cucumber sarnies without crusts would be OK, as long as the little finger was crooked.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 08:05
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I'd understood that the sandwich first appeared in the peerage when eaten, at a card game, by The Earl of Sandwich, at one time First Lord of the Admiralty.
I'd have thought that most Army officers' messes would be happy to follow suit
Well, with, perhaps, the exception of some of the Household Division.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 08:14
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Using a knife and fork with which to eat ones sandwiches and cakes for afternoon tea should not present a problem.
Mental image of P-N tucking into his inflight sarnies with a knife and fork, napkin decorously draped down the front of his immersion suit!

No, sorry - can't see it

Wander 00 - best things on the menu at Seletar officers' mess in 1967 were the cucumber sandwiches at afternoon tea, cut just as you described.

Last days of Empire!
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 09:01
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Sandwiches among list of 'barbaric' practices banned by army commander - Telegraph

I can see where he's coming from..

The letter penned by Maj Gen Cowan, who is in charge of 20,000 soldiers and 2,500 officers in 3 UK Division, most based at Bulford, also criticised poor grammar and writing, advising against the "wanton use of capitals, abbreviations and acronyms" because they can leave the reader exhausted.

His note gave a string of etiquette tips. Maj Gen Cowan advises on the correct way to use a knife and fork, saying "holding either like a pen is unacceptable."

On the subject of marriage he is equally direct, advising officers never to sit next to their spouse at dinner or risk showing insecurity. He also clearly outlines that he expects a junior officer to "make an effort at conversation" with one of their superiors.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 09:13
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"failing to stand when commanders entered the room."

That's easily fixed by the Adjt.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 09:29
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Al R,
I can see where he's coming from..
Isn't all that already covered in officer training - for those who didn't know at least some of it already?
Perhaps it's been displaced by the etiquette of the mobile 'phone/Facebook/Twitter etc
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 10:06
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The bigger story here is that some disenchanted underling has leaked that memo to the press to undermine the boss...
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 10:33
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Originally Posted by Tankertrashnav
Mental image of P-N tucking into his inflight sarnies with a knife and fork, napkin decorously draped down the front of his immersion suit!

No, sorry - can't see it
O ye of little faith.

Immersion suit? Not on the Nimrod. Sandwiches? Only toast and marmalade if you didn't mind spoiling you appetite for luncheon in the dinette. Birds Eye chicken pie or perhaps a delicate dish of honkers stew.

In the Shack, in the cold season I concede we had immersion suits and the wardroom was a little cramped for lunch. Where I had the choice I would use one of the arm chairs further back.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 10:45
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To be fair after reading the article there isn't that much wrong with what he says full stop in a professional environment.

And as for his comments about getting seated with the Mrs. That gets my vote as well. You want to be at least out of stabbing range under the table and preferably out of direct kicking range as well.

Maybe he should become a columnist for one of the newspapers.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 11:12
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What, no egg banjos or chip butties??? What is the world coming to
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 11:13
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You want to be at least out of stabbing range under the table and preferably out of direct kicking range as well.
I'll drink to that! Our best was SWMBO giving me a nudge but failing to notice table was glass. To be honest, everyone was probably too pissed to notice either the nudge or the comment which engendered it anyway
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 11:20
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Knife and fork "The fork always goes in the left hand and the knife in the right. Holding either like a pen is unacceptable, as are stabbing techniques. The knife and fork should remain in the bottom third of the plate and never be laid down in the top half."

I've always thought there is a certain element of etiquette that is good practice and intended to prevent offence to others (don't eat soup with your fingers etc), and there is an element that is nothing more than an attempt to highlight those with the 'correct' upbringing and those without it, or to impose standards for no reason other than to have them. The last part of the above always struck me as one of those.


I wonder how the Major General eats the roll supplied with his soup?
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 11:34
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Brig James (as was Comd 11X) was always an 18thC traditionalist who berated his staff or going to the gym on Op MASSIVE as he preferred his officers to cut a dash in uniform and "look good on horseback". Neither of which were achieved by your humble servant....he was a good boss though.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 11:35
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Isn't pasta an exception? To the K&F rule that is. Much easier to manipulate pasta with a fork in the right hand.

Or is that Italian muck also conduct unbecoming with the risk of red splatter on one's dress shirt?
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 11:55
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Thing is these standards aren't some posh way of doing things.

My grandparents weren't anything high and mighty, in fact grandma worked in the cotton mills in Lancashire as a weaver.

And gawd help any of us that didn't hold our knife and fork properly and if we even attempted to put elbows on the table you would get a belt round the ear.

And Basil does yours give out proxy rights to her mates if they are in range?

It isn't the eating of the sandwich's, or banjo's, bacon butties which is the issue, its the environment which you are eating them in. I presume Sir doesn't have a problem with said items when consumed on the range served up by either the slop jockeys or the Naffi wagon. His objection is when he enters a respectable area possibly with guests and he comes across the picture of people shovelling food off there plates into there mouths with there hand or worse not having a plate full stop.
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Old 5th Mar 2014, 12:00
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West Point good old days

I remember watching BBC2 Future War with Michael Ignatieff and the part Three mentioned how the next generation of US Army Officer cadets at West Point would gear up for the next war. There was b/w footage from either the 70s or 80s showing the Uppercalssmen/sophomores/ marching by the wall and wo betide at the dining hall table if a cadet was seen to take a wee bit more of a bite. The head of table (assuming an upperclassmen) would chew his head off by saying "don't you think that is a rather large bite you've taken Mr......." and the response from the cadet was "No sir, i do not" then the poor cadet would be made to do a ritual with his knife and fork "This is my Left Big Hook, this is My Right Big Hook " then shout something silly and put both down.

The then commandant of West Point mentioned in the interview how he underwent this draconian during his tenure as a student and immediately said it did not make sense at all to him at the time nor did it help him or anyone else become a better officer. Michael Ignatieff then said that the chow hall at WP was more relaxed and came across as the same atmosphere as an university.
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