Apocryphal Tales
Renowned for having the loudest voice in the British Army, Sgt Major Brittain used to address every new intake of Sandhurst officer cadets thus; ''gentlemen, I will address you as sir and you will address me as sir, the only difference being, that when you address me as sir you will bloody well mean it!''
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Acquisition Firestreak (inadvertently released in lieu of the intended ventral tanks following engine failure)
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Oxenos
You were lucky to have such an AsCom.
I know that in the late 50s, at a Junior Mess Dining In Night in the Senior Mess, where junior entry cadets were introduced to Mess Etiquette (?), some QFIs convinced some cadets that the AsCom’s car was an acceptable target.
The car, parked just outside the Mess, was lifted up and set down on bricks, so that the wheels did not touch the ground. When AsCom came to RTB and couldn’t get the car to move, he was not best pleased, perhaps because he heard some muffled giggling, and he set out to walk home across the North Airfield.
Next morning, the culprits were asked to confess, and all were awarded 14 days Restrictions.
I may be confusing that Dining In Night with the one when the Junior Entry had to provide entertainment for the Senior Entry after dinner. That is another story.
You were lucky to have such an AsCom.
I know that in the late 50s, at a Junior Mess Dining In Night in the Senior Mess, where junior entry cadets were introduced to Mess Etiquette (?), some QFIs convinced some cadets that the AsCom’s car was an acceptable target.
The car, parked just outside the Mess, was lifted up and set down on bricks, so that the wheels did not touch the ground. When AsCom came to RTB and couldn’t get the car to move, he was not best pleased, perhaps because he heard some muffled giggling, and he set out to walk home across the North Airfield.
Next morning, the culprits were asked to confess, and all were awarded 14 days Restrictions.
I may be confusing that Dining In Night with the one when the Junior Entry had to provide entertainment for the Senior Entry after dinner. That is another story.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Didn't a Firestreak fire off at Leuchars? Was that the one on the golf course?
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Pilot for the chop?
I heard that an inadvertent release resulted in a missile hitting a butchers shop close to a range. When the butcher arrived to return said weapon, the Station Commander apologised and explained that the armourers had unfortunately loaded a meat seeking missile.
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Lynx ditches due to Liferaft bung in Fuel Tank
As a lowly basic, I was informed of a story about a AEM who had cleaned out a Lynx Fuel Tank with a Liferaft conicle rubber bung borrowed from the SE department. 
Said AEM dropped the bung inside the tank and went fetched another to finish de-clogging the rubber fuel tank.
4 yrs later the Lynx ditched with loss of crew.
The said AEM was a civvy by then, but got a knock at the door from the Naval Provost and a couple of Civvy Coppers with the line "AEM_____ is this your signature....."
Dunno if the story was a scare story to ensure you either did jobs correctly or had a "Cant catch me sig"
to prevent any visits at a later date....
Said AEM dropped the bung inside the tank and went fetched another to finish de-clogging the rubber fuel tank.
4 yrs later the Lynx ditched with loss of crew.
The said AEM was a civvy by then, but got a knock at the door from the Naval Provost and a couple of Civvy Coppers with the line "AEM_____ is this your signature....."
Dunno if the story was a scare story to ensure you either did jobs correctly or had a "Cant catch me sig"
to prevent any visits at a later date....
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Dunno if the story was a scare story to ensure you either did jobs correctly or had a "Cant catch me sig" to prevent any visits at a later date....
to prevent any visits at a later date....
He told me one day that as a joke when he joined up he signed everything RAF with Rastus, and had continued to so for his whole career, he said no one had noticed, and when we checked a few of his sigs, sure enough they all read Rastus!
PN wrote:
I was there when a Sidewinder went walk-about during a generation exercise and ended up over t'other side of the airfield near the banks of the Eden. Apparently it was something to do with water getting into the electrikery bits. I'm sure there are some folks on here who can give the technical details.
Didn't a Firestreak fire off at Leuchars? Was that the one on the golf course?
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A German exchange officer on the Hercules, one Jurgen Reimann, upon watching the confusion and carnage wrought through involving 38 Gp ops in an unservicability scenario was heard to say..:
"I now understand vy you British von ze vor...... you practice chaos in peacetime"
"I now understand vy you British von ze vor...... you practice chaos in peacetime"
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A SNEB missile was accidentally fired from a canberra at Akrotiri in the early'60's. Apparently it flew across the busy airfield missing everything. It was set off by a leckie carrying out insulation checks on the circuit with a 'wee megger'!
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Wasn't there also a Sneb fired off a Harrier inside a shed hitting the hangar doors?
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German Exchange Officers
At the risk of exposing my nom de plume, at Neat1shed we had a german exchange officer - Herr Dreyer and his wife, known as............spin!
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I hope this hasn't already been mentioned...
I used to work with an army tech who was good mates with oz army pilots and he swears by this... A blackhawk was coming in to land from a routine training exercise full of grunts in the back. The pilots decided to have a bit of a laugh and over ics informed them that they were too heavy and low on engine power (grunts not knowing any better).
There is a pump in the cabin to charge the apu accumulator in the event the backup hyd pump fails to get it up to pressure, so the pilots instructed the soldiers to get to work pumping as hard as they could or they'd come in too hot and crash...
As about 12 grunts cycled through pumping the handle and screaming and just generally being all war-ie they flared and touched down and appparently it these lads in the back were jumping around like they'd won the world cup. Pilots thanked them for their efforts and walked away snickering...
I used to work with an army tech who was good mates with oz army pilots and he swears by this... A blackhawk was coming in to land from a routine training exercise full of grunts in the back. The pilots decided to have a bit of a laugh and over ics informed them that they were too heavy and low on engine power (grunts not knowing any better).
There is a pump in the cabin to charge the apu accumulator in the event the backup hyd pump fails to get it up to pressure, so the pilots instructed the soldiers to get to work pumping as hard as they could or they'd come in too hot and crash...
As about 12 grunts cycled through pumping the handle and screaming and just generally being all war-ie they flared and touched down and appparently it these lads in the back were jumping around like they'd won the world cup. Pilots thanked them for their efforts and walked away snickering...
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Burkhardt, was it not? We were at W Drayton together in 75. Lovely chap (and wife).