Management-speak
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 74
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Yep, they all go to the same place to do their pointless MBAs..... Can someone tell me why a "leader" in a military organisation needs a masters in business administration anyway... What is the business? I certainly don't sell stuff. It just turns them all into David Brent.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Very close to the Theatre of Dreams!
Posts: 156
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
We get a lot of this, one of my favorites was "The tyres haven't touched the tarmac yet" meaning (I think) the project has been delayed
Bulls*it bingo was the only way we got through some meetings
Bulls*it bingo was the only way we got through some meetings
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Taif-Saudi Arabia
Age: 64
Posts: 229
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
A certain very large British Defence Company brought out a programme some years ago called MIDAS. It was full of management speak and sent most of the workforce to sleep. I can't even remember what MIDAS stood for except Management In Distress Anticipating Sackings!
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
There was a thread about these e here on pprune but I can't find it. One that appeared in the accident report was risk appetite quoi?
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: 1 Dunghill Mansions, Putney
Posts: 1,797
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 714
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
As a young Sqn Ldr only just arrived at HQ Logs I was asked in passing by a PSO where I was on the "transformational staircase" - the glint in my eye gave it away that I had not a clue to what he was referring to; it also prevented me giving a smart arsed comment 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Tennessee - Smoky Mountains
Age: 55
Posts: 1,602
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
Living in the past chaps. Even the BBC article is 5 years old. I'm sure that list of bull**** bingo is no longer current.
Unfortunately, the greasy pole gets ever greasier. I do understand the motivation; the MOD has been a pot in which an awful lot has been pissed away by serving officers and SCS that industry has run rings round.
One has to play by industry's rules; or lose. It's as simple as that. The MOD could of course say "No, we'll play by our rules, here's how it's going to work". At which point, the globalized conglomerates simply say "no, thanks" and take their bat & ball to somewhere warmer. Thousands of jobs are lost; the MOD ends up with second-tier kit that it hasn't had a hand in specifying or designing, and it all goes for a ball of chalk.
Of course some of the words & phrases are simply ridiculous, but are frankly in line with "wanque", "wanquerre" or "bolleaux".
Unfortunately, the greasy pole gets ever greasier. I do understand the motivation; the MOD has been a pot in which an awful lot has been pissed away by serving officers and SCS that industry has run rings round.
One has to play by industry's rules; or lose. It's as simple as that. The MOD could of course say "No, we'll play by our rules, here's how it's going to work". At which point, the globalized conglomerates simply say "no, thanks" and take their bat & ball to somewhere warmer. Thousands of jobs are lost; the MOD ends up with second-tier kit that it hasn't had a hand in specifying or designing, and it all goes for a ball of chalk.
Of course some of the words & phrases are simply ridiculous, but are frankly in line with "wanque", "wanquerre" or "bolleaux".
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: London
Posts: 7,072
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
"the MOD ends up with second-tier kit that it hasn't had a hand in specifying"
such as?
most people outside think the problem is MOD specs TBH that lead to late and vastly over estimate kit that seriously impairs our armed forces efficiency
such as?
most people outside think the problem is MOD specs TBH that lead to late and vastly over estimate kit that seriously impairs our armed forces efficiency
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Tennessee - Smoky Mountains
Age: 55
Posts: 1,602
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like
on
1 Post
Good point HH, but the job losses would still happen if the MOD tried to dictate terms. TBH, they're just too small these days. The pole-climbers within want to try and get on, and they are outsmarted by industry at every turn, it seems.
No amount of management-speak will give a starred officer the experience he needs to negotiate with someone who's been doing it for 30 years.
No amount of management-speak will give a starred officer the experience he needs to negotiate with someone who's been doing it for 30 years.
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Muscat, Oman
Posts: 604
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
It's like the list of impossible acronyms (anyone flown a supplier's ILS?). I once phoned a guy up because I had no idea what he was on about in his letter; turned out, neither did he - he was just passing on an unintelligible message. Speak plain English or shut up! However, if you're drafting a letter for a 2-star or higher, never miss up on the opportunity to drop an "onageristic estimate" into the text. I've had 3 of them sign it off!
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Roadster, quite right, 50 years ago, when the Services were a significant size and employer they had proper purchasing power. It was perceived that they had the best and any other similar product was not as good.
To some extent that attitude still persists in the eBay scally market as practically anything ex-military or surplus will sell.
To some extent that attitude still persists in the eBay scally market as practically anything ex-military or surplus will sell.
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK East Anglia
Age: 66
Posts: 678
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I had to get off the transformation staircase before we got too close to contracting for availability. I kept falling off these pillars and was often too drunk to walk along the Lines of Development!
HH - I can't honestly think of any project I was involved in that the MoD, including Serving officers did not have a hand in writing the specification for.
We had some great acronyms to confuse each other.
HH - I can't honestly think of any project I was involved in that the MoD, including Serving officers did not have a hand in writing the specification for.
We had some great acronyms to confuse each other.
One that appeared in the accident report was risk appetite quoi?
Some will have less room for risk and therefore they have a low risk appetite, for example a major airline with a high public profile choosing not to do an ad-hoc single flight into Tripoli, and some will have (to use recent PPRuNe Military speak) "Cojones" and will have a larger risk appetite, such as a CAS authorising a squadron to attempt to land a very old VC10 at a short runway such as Cosford. That's risk appetite.
As Roadster says, the current use of something as straightforward and modern day as "Risk Appetite" is no worse than the rather silly and puerile use of old non-words like "Wanque" or "Bolleaux" on this forum.
Last edited by Laarbruch72; 30th Jul 2013 at 22:42.
The point of the thread is to poke fun at people who assess competence by how many times these phrases are used. I was unfortunate enough to do my tour in Abbey Wood when a "synergy" or "synergistic" in every other sentence was a prerequisite to approval. It may be a perfectly good word, but demanding its use is bolleaux and the act of a wanquer.
Thread Starter
>a "synergy" or "synergistic" in every other sentence was a prerequisite to approval.<
Slightly off-topic but did anyone else hear the new CEO of Barclays talking about "synergies going forward" in his interview with Robert Peston on BBC News yesterday?
No wonder shares fell 8%
.
Slightly off-topic but did anyone else hear the new CEO of Barclays talking about "synergies going forward" in his interview with Robert Peston on BBC News yesterday?
No wonder shares fell 8%
.
