Is this sort of thing common?
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
It was like handling anti-burglar paint. The surfaces were thick with black sticky grease. All the work tops were replaced a week later.
Last edited by Pontius Navigator; 28th Jul 2013 at 06:58.
Whilst we have been on a series of overseas tours (I sense all your sympathy) we have let our family home as an up-market holiday let, located in a NAtional Park. It is professional cleaned on each turn around and it is furnished with antiques and high quality fittings. There have been very few problems. Family groups seem to respect it and generally leave the house clean and tidy. Echoing others here, the only time we had a complaint from guests (about the Aga, of all things) they left the place like a tip - bags of rubbish in the garden, mud tramped through the house etc. Basically, most guests leave the house as they find it. However, as mentioned earlier, we've had civilian friends visit who were genuinely intrigued that we would bother to clean the hiring when we left. Even though we point out that we are required to, they still seem perplexed. I suppose it down to your own standards.
As we are about to leave our hiring, we are working hard to make it clean and presentable (there's no option here for a quarter cleaning service) yet I will be in trepidation when the DIO chap turns up, along with a Federal Housing Ministry representative, in a few days' time.
I will be interested to see what our new SFA in the UK will be like - I visited a month or so back and it had been vacant for about a year and there was bird poo all down the front door and over the door step from a nest in the porch. It was dusty inside, with loads of cobwebs, and the garden was overgrown. I've been assured that both house and garden will be sorted out before we march in. The carpets are an interesting bright blue colour, whilst the kitchen flooring is a fetching grey. What was wrong with BMW as the decoration code? At least it was inoffensive and most furnishings would blend in. But blue?
We've also gone for MOD furniture because of the relatively short time we are back in tHe UK (I'm on a course) so it will be interesting to see what is delivered from the Corporate Dressing-up box. I'll keep you posted.
As we are about to leave our hiring, we are working hard to make it clean and presentable (there's no option here for a quarter cleaning service) yet I will be in trepidation when the DIO chap turns up, along with a Federal Housing Ministry representative, in a few days' time.
I will be interested to see what our new SFA in the UK will be like - I visited a month or so back and it had been vacant for about a year and there was bird poo all down the front door and over the door step from a nest in the porch. It was dusty inside, with loads of cobwebs, and the garden was overgrown. I've been assured that both house and garden will be sorted out before we march in. The carpets are an interesting bright blue colour, whilst the kitchen flooring is a fetching grey. What was wrong with BMW as the decoration code? At least it was inoffensive and most furnishings would blend in. But blue?
We've also gone for MOD furniture because of the relatively short time we are back in tHe UK (I'm on a course) so it will be interesting to see what is delivered from the Corporate Dressing-up box. I'll keep you posted.
March out.
Nutloose,
The update you asked for.....
My part in the march out lasted 23 minutes, from the moment the "marching out" official arrived until the moment I drove away smiling. Most of the 23 minutes was taken up with:
a) Reading the meters.
b) The official checking all the keys did work for the locks stipulated, despite me having arranged them in suitable groups beforehand.
c) Checking that the wheelie bins were both present and clean (I only gave them a rinse out with a hose).
d) A brief walk around by the official while I waited outside in the sunshine.
There were no white gloves in sight at any point!!
The update you asked for.....
My part in the march out lasted 23 minutes, from the moment the "marching out" official arrived until the moment I drove away smiling. Most of the 23 minutes was taken up with:
a) Reading the meters.
b) The official checking all the keys did work for the locks stipulated, despite me having arranged them in suitable groups beforehand.
c) Checking that the wheelie bins were both present and clean (I only gave them a rinse out with a hose).
d) A brief walk around by the official while I waited outside in the sunshine.
There were no white gloves in sight at any point!!
Last edited by Biggus; 9th Aug 2013 at 13:49.
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Robbie Robson
W00
Have been AWOL for a bit and beyond PP. Agree with you, I was an IOT Flt Cdr when he was DDIOT and Robbie used to run with us on LAT runs. The finishing line was usually DDIOT, a swift cadet and some time later, the flt cdr.
Not sure where he is now, still in the Cranwell area I suspect but I've moved "opp north". Saw him in Waitrose Lincoln not too long ago and had a chat about old times by the fruit and veg; he still looked like a racing snake!
ON
Have been AWOL for a bit and beyond PP. Agree with you, I was an IOT Flt Cdr when he was DDIOT and Robbie used to run with us on LAT runs. The finishing line was usually DDIOT, a swift cadet and some time later, the flt cdr.
Not sure where he is now, still in the Cranwell area I suspect but I've moved "opp north". Saw him in Waitrose Lincoln not too long ago and had a chat about old times by the fruit and veg; he still looked like a racing snake!
ON
My family have occupied OMQs at Nicosia, Guetersloh and JHQ twice. I was a bloody civvy throughout. My boss in Cyprus explained the rituals carefully, so we were prepared for the ordeal, and got the tick in the box.
As I rose unsteadily through the hierarchy over the years, it fell to me in turn to induct the innocent into these strange tribal practices.
Most of my lads and lasses complied successfully, which pleased me greatly because one rotten apple/ noncomformist/ filthy swine can give "us" a bad name on that station and make life hard.
There were three or four horrors of grotty MQs left by Met Men in my time, and I took care to have their cards marked thus:
THIS MAN IS NOT, REPEAT NOT, TO BE CONSIDERED FOR AN OVERSEAS TOUR AGAIN. And I let the fact be known to my other staff and the staish.
The way I see it, if you can't beat them, join them. And if you can't take a joke, bugger off.
As I rose unsteadily through the hierarchy over the years, it fell to me in turn to induct the innocent into these strange tribal practices.
Most of my lads and lasses complied successfully, which pleased me greatly because one rotten apple/ noncomformist/ filthy swine can give "us" a bad name on that station and make life hard.
There were three or four horrors of grotty MQs left by Met Men in my time, and I took care to have their cards marked thus:
THIS MAN IS NOT, REPEAT NOT, TO BE CONSIDERED FOR AN OVERSEAS TOUR AGAIN. And I let the fact be known to my other staff and the staish.
The way I see it, if you can't beat them, join them. And if you can't take a joke, bugger off.
Fondly Remembered
I too recall Bobby Robson's time as DDIOT. When he arrived the "joke" was that we had cadets and super-cadets (ie the DS). The rules were that DS had to dress exactly the same as the cadets especially when on exercise in combat clothing - no aircrew boots or jackets, no Regiment specials etc.
Bobby R arrived on the agenda for his first Director's meeting was an item "Eccentricities of DS Dress". On this item being reached in the meeting he said "There are to be eccentricities of DS dress" and smartly moved on to the next item.
I used to swim (early mornings when he wasn't sheep farming or as he put it cultivating the EU subsidy) and run with him and he was always charming, if hard to keep up with. But in those days I had a chance.
On my next tour, one of my copilots was in the West London Magistrates Court for drink driving (spiked drinks apparently). For various reasons I had to attend at least 3 times as the case was adjourned. On one of these visits I visited Bobby in MoD when he was DPR. On hearing why I was in London he called a minion in to ask "Do we know about this and if not why not?"
As has been said in earlier posts - a top bloke and a joy to work for/with.
Bobby R arrived on the agenda for his first Director's meeting was an item "Eccentricities of DS Dress". On this item being reached in the meeting he said "There are to be eccentricities of DS dress" and smartly moved on to the next item.
I used to swim (early mornings when he wasn't sheep farming or as he put it cultivating the EU subsidy) and run with him and he was always charming, if hard to keep up with. But in those days I had a chance.
On my next tour, one of my copilots was in the West London Magistrates Court for drink driving (spiked drinks apparently). For various reasons I had to attend at least 3 times as the case was adjourned. On one of these visits I visited Bobby in MoD when he was DPR. On hearing why I was in London he called a minion in to ask "Do we know about this and if not why not?"
As has been said in earlier posts - a top bloke and a joy to work for/with.
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Thanks Biggus, obviously they had heard of this thread and trembled at the thought of the response they would have got on here.. 
There was a JHQ tale of an army Colonel who allowed his horse into the lounge via the french windows.
There was certainly a Portadown Way OMQ for which my children refused to babysit, regardless of pay and conditions, as they said it was just too disgusting. Fortunately not the RAF Caterer.
The accumulated grease, dirt and nicotine on the kitchen walls amazed even the hardened and cynical marchers-out when the time came.
And, note, JHQ had the advantage of a "hostel" system in which families could stay for a few days prior to march-out.
My finest hour was somewhere else. I became aware that my successor in the house was to be a lifelong sh1t who had caused me grief. I had a lot of leisure pre march-out, so took Brasso and rags into the cellar and polished the many and various copper and brass pipes and fittings in the boiler room. Sure enough, the march-out team a. congratuled LB and
b. told sh1t that they expected cellar to be in identical condition in a year or two.
How to make friends and influence people.
There was certainly a Portadown Way OMQ for which my children refused to babysit, regardless of pay and conditions, as they said it was just too disgusting. Fortunately not the RAF Caterer.
The accumulated grease, dirt and nicotine on the kitchen walls amazed even the hardened and cynical marchers-out when the time came.
And, note, JHQ had the advantage of a "hostel" system in which families could stay for a few days prior to march-out.
My finest hour was somewhere else. I became aware that my successor in the house was to be a lifelong sh1t who had caused me grief. I had a lot of leisure pre march-out, so took Brasso and rags into the cellar and polished the many and various copper and brass pipes and fittings in the boiler room. Sure enough, the march-out team a. congratuled LB and
b. told sh1t that they expected cellar to be in identical condition in a year or two.
How to make friends and influence people.
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the english quartermasters aren't the only insane ones.
I once helped my friend rossow move into a married quarter.
in the entire house there were just 3 power points.
get this. not one powerpoint was near the kitchen.
stupid? crazy? or just moronic? couldnt believe it.
I once helped my friend rossow move into a married quarter.
in the entire house there were just 3 power points.
get this. not one powerpoint was near the kitchen.
stupid? crazy? or just moronic? couldnt believe it.
When TV aerial sockets were put in to the rooms of the Os Mess at Lyneham they were put quite close - a metre or so - to a plug socket.
Only problem was the aerial socket was on the other side of the door leading to the corridor than the power socket. I suppose one should be thankful that both sockets were in the actual room.
After my brief and unsuccesful time on the Buccaneer, I was sent to RAF Biggin Hill for 'Aircrew Reselection'.
Having completed the various interviews, I was told that I could expect a decision in a few weeks time. Having no permanent residence in the UK, I asked to be given something useful to do on the station. So I became deputy to both OC GD and the Families Officer.
Quite simple - and all OC GD's tasks were easily completed. The Families Officer was on leave, so I had to do a few march-outs. Until then, my only experience of MQs had been when I was joe'd to check up on DoE slackness at Valley 3 years earlier, whilst holding before my Hunter refresher course. We checked 4 MQs each in the morning and 4 each in the afternoon, revealing a whole range of work which hadn't been done, of contractors cheating on overtime and other scams... OC Admin threw the book at the DWO shortly afterwards, I gather...
But having no idea what was involved in a march out, I turned up at one place to join the Barrack Warden. "Any work not yet completed?", I asked the lady of the house - who told me about various reported snags which hadn't been fixed. "Make a note please", I advised the BW. Then a quick tour of the place, all looked fine to my ex-Flt Cdt eye and none of the stupid cooker inspections etc. "Thank you - that's all splendid. Hope you enjoy your next posting", I told her.
The BW was incandescent - I'd taken a fraction of a time the Familes' Officer normally took and hadn't been very thorough. But he was more annoyed at having to sort out all the outstanding fixes before the next family arrived.
I did a few more march outs, then moved to other work.
The Fg Off (W) Families Officer then returned from leave and was astonished that all my march outs had been so straightforward - every stain or similar I'd reported as 'fair wear and tear'! I told her that the anal 'white glove' nonsense practised by others was daft - and if she wanted me to do any more march outs, I'd be happy to do so.
Needless to say, I wasn't asked!
Having completed the various interviews, I was told that I could expect a decision in a few weeks time. Having no permanent residence in the UK, I asked to be given something useful to do on the station. So I became deputy to both OC GD and the Families Officer.
Quite simple - and all OC GD's tasks were easily completed. The Families Officer was on leave, so I had to do a few march-outs. Until then, my only experience of MQs had been when I was joe'd to check up on DoE slackness at Valley 3 years earlier, whilst holding before my Hunter refresher course. We checked 4 MQs each in the morning and 4 each in the afternoon, revealing a whole range of work which hadn't been done, of contractors cheating on overtime and other scams... OC Admin threw the book at the DWO shortly afterwards, I gather...
But having no idea what was involved in a march out, I turned up at one place to join the Barrack Warden. "Any work not yet completed?", I asked the lady of the house - who told me about various reported snags which hadn't been fixed. "Make a note please", I advised the BW. Then a quick tour of the place, all looked fine to my ex-Flt Cdt eye and none of the stupid cooker inspections etc. "Thank you - that's all splendid. Hope you enjoy your next posting", I told her.
The BW was incandescent - I'd taken a fraction of a time the Familes' Officer normally took and hadn't been very thorough. But he was more annoyed at having to sort out all the outstanding fixes before the next family arrived.
I did a few more march outs, then moved to other work.
The Fg Off (W) Families Officer then returned from leave and was astonished that all my march outs had been so straightforward - every stain or similar I'd reported as 'fair wear and tear'! I told her that the anal 'white glove' nonsense practised by others was daft - and if she wanted me to do any more march outs, I'd be happy to do so.
Needless to say, I wasn't asked!
Last edited by BEagle; 10th Aug 2013 at 19:13.
Never once lived in MQ so I have no tales to tell. However I am amused that the archaic term "marching in/out" is still in use. I always thought it sounded very silly, and had a mental picture of Fg Off and Mrs Snooks and all the little Snooks "fell-in" outside their new MQ, and on an order from the Families Officer marching in to their new home.
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Never once lived in MQ so I have no tales to tell. However I am amused that the archaic term "marching in/out" is still in use. I always thought it sounded very silly, and had a mental picture of Fg Off and Mrs Snooks and all the little Snooks "fell-in" outside their new MQ, and on an order from the Families Officer marching in to their new home.
The stories that you will hear about "white "gloves" are from a bygone age, and the others of the pernicious Families Officer are of course the exception. In contrast the "when I marched in/out of my quarter it was fine" just dosn't make good copy. For me during the entirety of my service that was my experience of the march in/out system.
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I had a lot of leisure pre march-out, so took Brasso and rags into the cellar and polished the many and various copper and brass pipes and fittings in the boiler room.
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Tales from the crypt...part 1
I spent 20 odd years in FMA. Before I got married, a very friendly Fams Off took me on several march-outs to get a feel for what was required. We went to one AMQ and the first thing that struck us was the aroma pervading the house. Then we discovered that he couldn't be ars*d to use the toilet at night - the wardrobes had to be seen to be believed.
Not only that, there was something strange about the place which we couldn't put our finger on, until we reached out to open a door - only to find that the WAS no door. All the internal doors and a lot of floorboards had been used as firewood! Having to replace all the doors, floorboards and carpets cost a fortune and the family were given extensive treatment by mental health people!
I stopped one of my marchouts when a V young Fams Off told me that my wife was to wait outside as he pulled on his white gloves. I informed this idiot that he could not treat people that way, that my wife was part of MY family and that if he thought he was going to treat me like an initial trainee he was very much mistaken. The real Fams Off apologised profusely and assured me that his holding officer would be properly trained! Incidentally, the MO 2 hours later went without a hitch.
But I could tell you many tales of experience over the years...
Maybe I will..!
Not only that, there was something strange about the place which we couldn't put our finger on, until we reached out to open a door - only to find that the WAS no door. All the internal doors and a lot of floorboards had been used as firewood! Having to replace all the doors, floorboards and carpets cost a fortune and the family were given extensive treatment by mental health people!
I stopped one of my marchouts when a V young Fams Off told me that my wife was to wait outside as he pulled on his white gloves. I informed this idiot that he could not treat people that way, that my wife was part of MY family and that if he thought he was going to treat me like an initial trainee he was very much mistaken. The real Fams Off apologised profusely and assured me that his holding officer would be properly trained! Incidentally, the MO 2 hours later went without a hitch.
But I could tell you many tales of experience over the years...
Maybe I will..!
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Funny how everyone leaves their quarters in better condition than they found them
So I suggest you shove your sanctimonious attitude the same place as your waging finger smilie - up your jacksie.
Its not what it used to be of course.
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Well, unlike the state of the place when Mrs WW and I moved in I sure as hell didn't leave mouse sh1t on the kitchen worktop when leaving. Just the sort of hygiene one expects with a 6 month old baby to look after.
So I suggest you shove your sanctimonious attitude the same place as your waging finger smilie - up your jacksie.
So I suggest you shove your sanctimonious attitude the same place as your waging finger smilie - up your jacksie.
Oh, and for you next move get a pair of these and a life princess
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Last edited by TomJoad; 12th Aug 2013 at 17:05.