Apocryphal SWO stories out there.......
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JC, I had the pleasure too
Who was his CPL at the time?
QUOTE=pamac51;6470636]I had the 'pleasure' of knowing this loon at Innsworth and Brawdy - he was the FS IC RSDR prior to his promotion to WO and posting to Brawdy as SWO in 1976/77. Prior to his posting he made me an offer of spending 28 days in his cells but 'as he was due at Brawdy on Monday he didn't have time for it'!!! My oppo lived next to him in MQs and it would appear that his family (wife + 2 daughters) had to live with the square bashing shouting that went on all the time in his 'leisure hours'. I was more than delighted to see him promoted and posted - he really would have had me enjoying his hospitality in the RSDR had he stayed at Inns.
Three months later I was called in to the Sqn Cdr's office and told I was promoted and posted to .....Brawdy! My initial thoughts were to turn it down but promotion in my trade was few and far between in those days so I kept my counsel and trusted that he would have forgotten about me in the intervening 4 months. Unfortunately this was not the case and he made my life somewhat uncomfortable for the next 12 months - eg on CO's Inspection when CO was doing his rounds the SWO would sidle up to me and whisper lovingly in my ear 'I remember you' which of course made me so happy that I had made such an imprint on his mind!!
He impressed the Stn exec so much at Brawdy that they moved him out of the Guardroom in the centre of the Station and put him and his equally obnoxious Cpl GD in an old disused Barrack Block away from the main areas of human habitation.
I have got to say that a small frisson of joy crossed my mind when I heard that he had popped his clogs at Newton - most SWOs in those days were old wartime aircrew - he was not - just a bully and an eejit.
His Cpl - with a name that had a connection with old sheep meat - was a dithering fool when the SWO was not around - but if he had the SWO by his side he was just as bad.[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=pamac51;6470636]I had the 'pleasure' of knowing this loon at Innsworth and Brawdy - he was the FS IC RSDR prior to his promotion to WO and posting to Brawdy as SWO in 1976/77. Prior to his posting he made me an offer of spending 28 days in his cells but 'as he was due at Brawdy on Monday he didn't have time for it'!!! My oppo lived next to him in MQs and it would appear that his family (wife + 2 daughters) had to live with the square bashing shouting that went on all the time in his 'leisure hours'. I was more than delighted to see him promoted and posted - he really would have had me enjoying his hospitality in the RSDR had he stayed at Inns.
Three months later I was called in to the Sqn Cdr's office and told I was promoted and posted to .....Brawdy! My initial thoughts were to turn it down but promotion in my trade was few and far between in those days so I kept my counsel and trusted that he would have forgotten about me in the intervening 4 months. Unfortunately this was not the case and he made my life somewhat uncomfortable for the next 12 months - eg on CO's Inspection when CO was doing his rounds the SWO would sidle up to me and whisper lovingly in my ear 'I remember you' which of course made me so happy that I had made such an imprint on his mind!!
He impressed the Stn exec so much at Brawdy that they moved him out of the Guardroom in the centre of the Station and put him and his equally obnoxious Cpl GD in an old disused Barrack Block away from the main areas of human habitation.
I have got to say that a small frisson of joy crossed my mind when I heard that he had popped his clogs at Newton - most SWOs in those days were old wartime aircrew - he was not - just a bully and an eejit.
His Cpl - with a name that had a connection with old sheep meat - was a dithering fool when the SWO was not around - but if he had the SWO by his side he was just as bad.[/QUOTE]
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WO Jack Holt Linton on Ouse
I did my BFT at Linton in1980-81 when we were blessed by having a great SWO In the form of W/O Jack Holt who apart from being a big man physically had the bearing of a Guardsman andthe always bulled boot to match! As an. APO doing my first stint as Orderly Officer he gave my lots of advice and confidence I how to handle defaulters on parade in the guard room and who were people perhaps twice my age....
He featured quite prominently on “Fighter Pilot” when it was bing filmed a short time later to my arrivalmyast recollection of him before he sadly died whilst in post was a bollocking he gave me for not wearing a hat! He recognised me as I was walking to the Officer ‘s Mess after I had mad a weather diversion to Linton in a Jetstream from FY when the weather at FY closed in and I had no instrument rating ( and no hat!). I thereafter made sure I flew with at least a “chip bag”!
MB
He featured quite prominently on “Fighter Pilot” when it was bing filmed a short time later to my arrivalmyast recollection of him before he sadly died whilst in post was a bollocking he gave me for not wearing a hat! He recognised me as I was walking to the Officer ‘s Mess after I had mad a weather diversion to Linton in a Jetstream from FY when the weather at FY closed in and I had no instrument rating ( and no hat!). I thereafter made sure I flew with at least a “chip bag”!
MB
The last photograph on that extract. That's an impressive set of medals the airman third from the right is wearing..........
I think I have mentioned this before, not sure if on this thread.
One early summers afternoon in 1982, I was UWAS co pilot in an early 1960s Vauxhall Viva. The captain of said vehicle was one APO Martin, known to some later as PMAR.
We had just gone past the St Athan Officers Mess entrance, on our way to the car park or square behind, when we were spotted by the SWO, who was holding some kind of gardening/litter exercise with a couple of airmen.
The 'AHHHHHH....' that emitted from his mouth could be heard over the ancient engine even with the windows wound up. The 4 drum brakes bought us to a decent stop, so all he had to do was march quick time up to PMARs door. Slap bang outside the Ante room or there abouts.
Before PMAR had even wound the window down, we could hear..'WHAT ARE YOU A DOING, DRIVING PAST THE OFFICERS A MESS , YOU ORRIBLE.....'
As cool as a cucumber, PMAR wound down the old window, presented his 1250, on seeing which the SWO stopped his tirade, stepped back, gave an impressive salute..'SAH' and got on with whatever he was doing.
PMAR muttered something to me, I have long since forgotten, smiled and we drove off. I felt myself lucky to have been with an APO, as I am not sure the SWO would have taken so kindly to a UWAS Cadet Pilot!
There was also another PMAR incident, but I am not sure if the SWO was the individual concerned with this one. In Jan 82, St Athan was closed for 72 hours after the worst snow in living memory. PMAR decided it would be a good idea to build a ' giant snow phallus', bang outside the Ante room, so off we went. Now he modelled this around some sort of large stone ornament in the shape of a I believe a bird table. Phallus finished we retired to the mess. Some time in the afternoon as we contemplated another snow outing, a heavily clothed figure appeared outside and took a swift kick at the phallus. The kicker fell over and then hopped around in agony, then limped slowly away. The figure never entered the mess and we weren't sure if it was the SWO, but our belief then was that it was. We stood sniggering in the warmth of the Ante room like the schoolboys we had been some months previously.
PMAR,one of the best!
One early summers afternoon in 1982, I was UWAS co pilot in an early 1960s Vauxhall Viva. The captain of said vehicle was one APO Martin, known to some later as PMAR.
We had just gone past the St Athan Officers Mess entrance, on our way to the car park or square behind, when we were spotted by the SWO, who was holding some kind of gardening/litter exercise with a couple of airmen.
The 'AHHHHHH....' that emitted from his mouth could be heard over the ancient engine even with the windows wound up. The 4 drum brakes bought us to a decent stop, so all he had to do was march quick time up to PMARs door. Slap bang outside the Ante room or there abouts.
Before PMAR had even wound the window down, we could hear..'WHAT ARE YOU A DOING, DRIVING PAST THE OFFICERS A MESS , YOU ORRIBLE.....'
As cool as a cucumber, PMAR wound down the old window, presented his 1250, on seeing which the SWO stopped his tirade, stepped back, gave an impressive salute..'SAH' and got on with whatever he was doing.
PMAR muttered something to me, I have long since forgotten, smiled and we drove off. I felt myself lucky to have been with an APO, as I am not sure the SWO would have taken so kindly to a UWAS Cadet Pilot!
There was also another PMAR incident, but I am not sure if the SWO was the individual concerned with this one. In Jan 82, St Athan was closed for 72 hours after the worst snow in living memory. PMAR decided it would be a good idea to build a ' giant snow phallus', bang outside the Ante room, so off we went. Now he modelled this around some sort of large stone ornament in the shape of a I believe a bird table. Phallus finished we retired to the mess. Some time in the afternoon as we contemplated another snow outing, a heavily clothed figure appeared outside and took a swift kick at the phallus. The kicker fell over and then hopped around in agony, then limped slowly away. The figure never entered the mess and we weren't sure if it was the SWO, but our belief then was that it was. We stood sniggering in the warmth of the Ante room like the schoolboys we had been some months previously.
PMAR,one of the best!
Similarly I think the SWO at Gaydon 1966, when Nav' School was there, was a former pilot of "Continental Irish" extraction or Polish to younger readers.
His name was Mr Matusjek (sp?) - I remember him well because I bought a moped from off him for a tenner so that my wife wouldnt have to get the bus from Loxley to Stratford for her nursing job. She rode it up and down the road precisely once and said she would stick to the bus. Left it behind when I moved on to Strad, so that worked out about Ł1 a minute!
I left in 2012 and I have 6... army colleagues might scoff at being impressed with 5, it's extremely common for them to have 8 to 10 gongs after 15-20 years service.
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Sorry for the rather slow response to your post Ian16th (18 months) but I have just been reading back through this revived thread.
His name was Mr Matusjek (sp?) - I remember him well because I bought a moped from off him for a tenner so that my wife wouldnt have to get the bus from Loxley to Stratford for her nursing job. She rode it up and down the road precisely once and said she would stick to the bus. Left it behind when I moved on to Strad, so that worked out about Ł1 a minute!
His name was Mr Matusjek (sp?) - I remember him well because I bought a moped from off him for a tenner so that my wife wouldnt have to get the bus from Loxley to Stratford for her nursing job. She rode it up and down the road precisely once and said she would stick to the bus. Left it behind when I moved on to Strad, so that worked out about Ł1 a minute!
You now have me worried.
I have no memory of posting to this thread, nowadays I often wonder why I've entered a room, so I've re-read the whole thread.
Plenty of laughs, but nothing from me!
As a Boy Entrant, I learnt to avoid SWO's.
I succeeded for 13 years.
Never stop moving on the stairs, it causes all sorts of problems, greatest of which is "was I going up or down?".
To solve the problem, go either way until reaching a level. At this stage you will remember ........ but hurry, hurry if you need to retrace you steps because you could end up in the loop again.
Now, where was I?
To solve the problem, go either way until reaching a level. At this stage you will remember ........ but hurry, hurry if you need to retrace you steps because you could end up in the loop again.
Now, where was I?
Some time in the afternoon as we contemplated another snow outing, a heavily clothed figure appeared outside and took a swift kick at the phallus. The kicker fell over and then hopped around in agony, then limped slowly away.
You owe me one keyboard. Priceless!
You owe me one keyboard. Priceless!
Hope I haven't already posted this...
Recruit training, Swinditz,1979. Aircrew Cadet Golf is senior man of number 8 flight. We're about 2 weeks in, everyone can march ish. Recruits were not allowed to march across the main road that cut the camp in half without their NCOs directing them.
Sgt Robertson: "You, Aerocrat, march the flight over to point x, where i will meet you in y minutes. Why are you still here?"
Sarge appears as arranged, and aks casually, "Any issues?"
Me: "No Sergeant, but I did get stopped by an old guy carrying a walking stick with a silver knob on the end. He wanted to know your name and where you were. Dunno why. But he just said carry on, so I did."
Sgt R, blanches visibly before tutoring me as to who and what a SWOman is!
CG
Recruit training, Swinditz,1979. Aircrew Cadet Golf is senior man of number 8 flight. We're about 2 weeks in, everyone can march ish. Recruits were not allowed to march across the main road that cut the camp in half without their NCOs directing them.
Sgt Robertson: "You, Aerocrat, march the flight over to point x, where i will meet you in y minutes. Why are you still here?"
Sarge appears as arranged, and aks casually, "Any issues?"
Me: "No Sergeant, but I did get stopped by an old guy carrying a walking stick with a silver knob on the end. He wanted to know your name and where you were. Dunno why. But he just said carry on, so I did."
Sgt R, blanches visibly before tutoring me as to who and what a SWOman is!
CG
'Would the young officer'
'In charge of the dockyard visit report immediately to the station commander. The duty guardroom cpl hopped off the bus muttering, 'I wouldn't be in your shoes sir'
The day had begun so nicely. Quick bus trip from Thorney Island to Portsmouth, Wonderful morning bobbing about in one of the navy's little boats as they took us for a spin round their harbour thingy. Negative cadet sickness and suitable expressions of awe as we disembark. WO P (Ex Regiment) all slashed peak and gaiters forms 80 ATC cadets into ranks and begins to march them towards our next port of call which just happens to be HMS Victory.
Nearing the ship (upper decks packed with civilians on holiday) our little band is approached by a full RN Captain, and two Commanders.
WO P quite rightly gives compliments on the march.
They ignored us.
I winced and took a deep breath wondering what would happen next. WO P had 'Old School Regiment' tattooed on his arse.
What happened next was the Dougie about turned them, double marched the lads past the RN trio, about turned them again and planted himself in front of the brass
'I said compliments on the march, pause, pause SIRS'
Hurried flick of wrist from Captain.
By now Victory's holidaymakers are cheering us on.
PS I'd only been commissioned a week.
Staish was very kind, the epitome of senior officer trying to stifle a grin as I did this tale relate.
My daughter became the curator of Portsmouth City Museum and even now I can't walk past that bloody ship without cringing.
The day had begun so nicely. Quick bus trip from Thorney Island to Portsmouth, Wonderful morning bobbing about in one of the navy's little boats as they took us for a spin round their harbour thingy. Negative cadet sickness and suitable expressions of awe as we disembark. WO P (Ex Regiment) all slashed peak and gaiters forms 80 ATC cadets into ranks and begins to march them towards our next port of call which just happens to be HMS Victory.
Nearing the ship (upper decks packed with civilians on holiday) our little band is approached by a full RN Captain, and two Commanders.
WO P quite rightly gives compliments on the march.
They ignored us.
I winced and took a deep breath wondering what would happen next. WO P had 'Old School Regiment' tattooed on his arse.
What happened next was the Dougie about turned them, double marched the lads past the RN trio, about turned them again and planted himself in front of the brass
'I said compliments on the march, pause, pause SIRS'
Hurried flick of wrist from Captain.
By now Victory's holidaymakers are cheering us on.
PS I'd only been commissioned a week.
Staish was very kind, the epitome of senior officer trying to stifle a grin as I did this tale relate.
My daughter became the curator of Portsmouth City Museum and even now I can't walk past that bloody ship without cringing.
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Originally Posted by langleybaston 
Some time in the afternoon as we contemplated another snow outing, a heavily clothed figure appeared outside and took a swift kick at the phallus. The kicker fell over and then hopped around in agony, then limped slowly away.
You owe me one keyboard. Priceless!
Some time in the afternoon as we contemplated another snow outing, a heavily clothed figure appeared outside and took a swift kick at the phallus. The kicker fell over and then hopped around in agony, then limped slowly away.
You owe me one keyboard. Priceless!
rolling20
Langley, being Xmas I am slightly short of funds, I do how ever have a slightly used one somewhere if needed
Langley, being Xmas I am slightly short of funds, I do how ever have a slightly used one somewhere if needed
Best SWO:
Elaine Beesley at Lossie late 80s. Took us all down to wicked Glasgie for a Remembrance Day parade in the city centre. We were all billeted in a posh hotel just off George Sq. In the evening, we were all briefed that no alcohol must pass our lips that evening before the parade. Then she wisely repaired to her room while the party started, quietly at first, then riotously as inhibitions were cast aside. The next morning, I very nearly dropped my rifle as I felt a tad peely wellie, much to the amusement of an army bod nearby.
Good skills.
Worst SWO:
Some 'anytrade' buffoon about 20 years later at Kinloss. Tried to lecture me publicly and at high volume in front of guardroom staff on my responsibilities as SDO. Was a tad miffed as I had not done anything wrong, he just wanted to demo how important he was. Also, as a by now commissioned ex-WO myself, I was even more miffed. Terse conversation ensued and we parted on less than amicable terms. Obviously, I won.
Numpty.
Elaine Beesley at Lossie late 80s. Took us all down to wicked Glasgie for a Remembrance Day parade in the city centre. We were all billeted in a posh hotel just off George Sq. In the evening, we were all briefed that no alcohol must pass our lips that evening before the parade. Then she wisely repaired to her room while the party started, quietly at first, then riotously as inhibitions were cast aside. The next morning, I very nearly dropped my rifle as I felt a tad peely wellie, much to the amusement of an army bod nearby.
Good skills.
Worst SWO:
Some 'anytrade' buffoon about 20 years later at Kinloss. Tried to lecture me publicly and at high volume in front of guardroom staff on my responsibilities as SDO. Was a tad miffed as I had not done anything wrong, he just wanted to demo how important he was. Also, as a by now commissioned ex-WO myself, I was even more miffed. Terse conversation ensued and we parted on less than amicable terms. Obviously, I won.
Numpty.
