Apocryphal SWO stories out there.......
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SWOs have a part to play as they always have. A good SWO has the right persona and understands when to 'play the part' of SWO and when not to. A good bench mark for any RAF Station is whether the WOs have a good network established amongst themselves.
Mr Munro, the College Warrant Officer:
"Bend and drive, laddie - bend and drive"
"Is your name Head? Richard Head? Dick Head? Is that you? There's always one!"
The SWO at Brize, late 90s. In the Station Barbers telling a couple of oiks that 'if their hair was that long, it had been too long for a month!' and to report to his office after a hair cut! He was the same one who invited a couple of us very Junior Officer types to the Sgt's Mess after exchange drinks in the Officers' Mess. We were well briefed by our own SNCOs as to the honour this was and that we should be on best behaviour. That night saw an understanding of a working relationship established with WOs that has seen me right to this day.
We need good SWOs more now than ever before.
Mr Munro, the College Warrant Officer:
"Bend and drive, laddie - bend and drive"
"Is your name Head? Richard Head? Dick Head? Is that you? There's always one!"
The SWO at Brize, late 90s. In the Station Barbers telling a couple of oiks that 'if their hair was that long, it had been too long for a month!' and to report to his office after a hair cut! He was the same one who invited a couple of us very Junior Officer types to the Sgt's Mess after exchange drinks in the Officers' Mess. We were well briefed by our own SNCOs as to the honour this was and that we should be on best behaviour. That night saw an understanding of a working relationship established with WOs that has seen me right to this day.
We need good SWOs more now than ever before.
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1976 Binbrook squadrons (5 and 11) went to Leconfield while the Binbrook runways were being refurbed. Two lots of engineering arrived to make his life miserable. He really gave us a hard time (I was the advanced Snco to sort things out and had all my lot on 252's within the wek !!) This was tolerated for 4 months then AVPIN took over ! Avpin and lawn do not go together and the SWO had a lovely manicured lawn front of his office. I appears that some individuals had written across his pride and joy 185 in large numbers with Avpin. He never "cottoned on" that 185 represented "I hate five". 
Does anyone remember the great Danny Gourd, SWO at the RAF Regiment Depot, Catterick, in the late 60's? Al R does, he came up with this photo on another thread.
http://www.pprune.org/military-aircr...ml#post5078928
One apocryphal tale is that after inspecting himself in his mirror before going on duty he placed himself on a charge for his unsatisfactory turnout.
Not apocryphal was his habit of saluting junior officers (self included) at a range of around 100 yards and then bellowing "I'm saluting you sir!" if the salute was not promptly returned.
http://www.pprune.org/military-aircr...ml#post5078928
One apocryphal tale is that after inspecting himself in his mirror before going on duty he placed himself on a charge for his unsatisfactory turnout.
Not apocryphal was his habit of saluting junior officers (self included) at a range of around 100 yards and then bellowing "I'm saluting you sir!" if the salute was not promptly returned.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Does anyone remember the great Danny Gourd, SWO at the RAF Regiment Depot, Catterick, in the late 60's? Al R does, he came up with this photo on another thread.
Not apocryphal was his habit of saluting junior officers (self included) at a range of around 100 yards and then bellowing "I'm saluting you sir!" if the salute was not promptly returned.
Not apocryphal was his habit of saluting junior officers (self included) at a range of around 100 yards and then bellowing "I'm saluting you sir!" if the salute was not promptly returned.
bellowing "I'm saluting you sir!" "yes sir, YOU sir."
was the full phrase.
Gentleman Aviator
Let's face it, any senior NCO or officer can tell a subordinate to "get a hair cut"
In the 1970s, a young Fg Off Teeters was lurking in Staish's outer office (dunno why - chatting up PA?), when the famously awesome (and awesomely famous) SWO Jack Holt marches past us into the Staish's office.
SWO: "Sir, I have checked your diary with the PA and you are free at 1500. I have accordingly arranged for the Station Barber to come to your office!"
College Warrant Officer (Early 60s) - "Parade, Attention". Roman Catholics and other non-Christians, fall out". The "Fall out" came very quietly, as he realised what he had actually said.
Last edited by Wander00; 20th May 2011 at 10:42.
The only story, which springs to mind, is an urban myth from long ago.
Many may have heard it, its the one about the young airman on the morning of the AOC's AFI, The SWO calls him over and orders him to go to the main gate and watch for the AOC arriving and to let him know as soon as he turns up. The young lad waits at the main gate and eventually a couple of cars pull round the corner, the young man instinctively walks to the right vehicle and wraps on the window. The window is wound down and he asks, excuse me sir, are you the AOC, the officer in the front passenger seat says; no young chap, he's sat behind me. The AOC already leaning forward, interrupts, yes young man I'm the AOC what's the problem? The young airman sucks in through his teeth and says; watch it mate the SWO's after you and 'e aint 'appy.
Best I can do for now!
Oh by the way Leon; What did they need SWOs for before the days of Natioal Service then.
FB
Many may have heard it, its the one about the young airman on the morning of the AOC's AFI, The SWO calls him over and orders him to go to the main gate and watch for the AOC arriving and to let him know as soon as he turns up. The young lad waits at the main gate and eventually a couple of cars pull round the corner, the young man instinctively walks to the right vehicle and wraps on the window. The window is wound down and he asks, excuse me sir, are you the AOC, the officer in the front passenger seat says; no young chap, he's sat behind me. The AOC already leaning forward, interrupts, yes young man I'm the AOC what's the problem? The young airman sucks in through his teeth and says; watch it mate the SWO's after you and 'e aint 'appy.
Best I can do for now!
Oh by the way Leon; What did they need SWOs for before the days of Natioal Service then.
FB
Beady Eye
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Very young BD in ATC Operations at Akrotiri in 1977. Staishs inspection and not a lot going on (as usual) so BD decides to look busy doing some practice typing on the RAFAN machine. BD can (and still does) only use one finger which staish picks up on and comments. He wanders on and SWO whispers in my shell like "The station barber uses both hands!"
Lossie in 87, large grassed area between the guradroom and the officers mess with SWOs office window looking out that side. He would watch young officers wander across and when nearly off the grass bellow at them "Sir! Sir! Come here!" Once they got all the way back to the guardroom and into his office he would say "Sir, you're walking on my grass!"
Lossie in 87, large grassed area between the guradroom and the officers mess with SWOs office window looking out that side. He would watch young officers wander across and when nearly off the grass bellow at them "Sir! Sir! Come here!" Once they got all the way back to the guardroom and into his office he would say "Sir, you're walking on my grass!"
The correct reply to hearing the words, "I'm saluting you, sir" is "And so you should Mr ..."
Anyone know if the aforementioned SWO Gourd was there late sixties?
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Late seventies on an ATC Squadron near Bristol, we were honoured by a visit from a lovely old gentleman who had been SWO at RAF Manston during the Battle of Britain, then went on to QCS. He was one of those rare chaps whose quiet charisma preceded him into the room. We got him to take the cadets for some drill, and they performed as never before or since.
What I particularly remember is his proud claim that he had never had to use foul language with any squad.
They dont make 'em like that any more....
What I particularly remember is his proud claim that he had never had to use foul language with any squad.
They dont make 'em like that any more....
RSM story (2)
Went, 1 pilot, 1 me to do trooping at some place with lots of brown jobs- Junior Leaders base, I think....
Went to the Sgt's Mess, booked in, abluted etc, then down to the bar. As counselled by old gits (I was 22), I sought out the senior member, introduced myself, and asked if I could jion them. Bloggs introduces me to the RSM propping up the bar. He says hello, then without hesitation, orders Bloggs to buy me a pint. He did, without hesitation too! Got leathered!
After a while he's in story mode. "Well see, 'ad to sort the barstwewards out only last week. I come striding onto the parade ground with me gravell crunchers on, swish to a really smart halt only to fall on me arse! Well the buggers laughed- can you believe it? I 'ad 'em though, marched 'em 9 miles in their no 2's, straight into a lake and then 9 miles straight back. Who's grinning now, says I? You gotta keep on 'em see."
Went, 1 pilot, 1 me to do trooping at some place with lots of brown jobs- Junior Leaders base, I think....
Went to the Sgt's Mess, booked in, abluted etc, then down to the bar. As counselled by old gits (I was 22), I sought out the senior member, introduced myself, and asked if I could jion them. Bloggs introduces me to the RSM propping up the bar. He says hello, then without hesitation, orders Bloggs to buy me a pint. He did, without hesitation too! Got leathered!
After a while he's in story mode. "Well see, 'ad to sort the barstwewards out only last week. I come striding onto the parade ground with me gravell crunchers on, swish to a really smart halt only to fall on me arse! Well the buggers laughed- can you believe it? I 'ad 'em though, marched 'em 9 miles in their no 2's, straight into a lake and then 9 miles straight back. Who's grinning now, says I? You gotta keep on 'em see."
Story from a friend at Valley in the early 80s. Parade practice for BoB parade in Bangor. Airman can't really get into the rhythm of marching. Furious SWO stops flight and marched up to offending airman stating 'theres a fool on the end of my stick' Reply by airman, 'not this end Sir'
Did not have a lot of free tme after that.
Remember Mr Holt at Linton as a young aircadet in the 70s, magnificently awsome man.
Regards
Air pig
Did not have a lot of free tme after that.
Remember Mr Holt at Linton as a young aircadet in the 70s, magnificently awsome man.
Regards
Air pig
)
I was sent to do a job at Avro Langar and me and the MT driver were billeted overnight at RAF Newton, a training station. Arrived at the guardroom in the late afternoon and was met by SWO who had an apolectic fit at both of us, finally dismissed us with the final words "I know the SWO at St Mawgan, report to him when you get back". A day or so later I went to see the the man. He was just leaving his office and as soon as I started to expalin he said "I know why you're here. Don't argue with SWOs, they're thick as ****!", and just walked off.
Great man Mr McNaught, seldom told you to get a hair cut but had many ways of saying so. Always used to look quizically at me and say "Lost your violin case son".
When he retired he promptly started work as a clerk in SHQ, I was surpised to see him but he dealt with my query quietly and efficiently. As I went to leave I said " Thank you sir". he smiled slightly and said "You don't call me sir any more son". To which I repied "The RAF may require me to call certain people sir, but I can still choose to use the term to those I respect, sir". Most have to push to get things done, the best few simply lead.
pm575
Great man Mr McNaught, seldom told you to get a hair cut but had many ways of saying so. Always used to look quizically at me and say "Lost your violin case son".
When he retired he promptly started work as a clerk in SHQ, I was surpised to see him but he dealt with my query quietly and efficiently. As I went to leave I said " Thank you sir". he smiled slightly and said "You don't call me sir any more son". To which I repied "The RAF may require me to call certain people sir, but I can still choose to use the term to those I respect, sir". Most have to push to get things done, the best few simply lead.
pm575
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Recall a story regarding a group of nav studes walking back to Filton Block with one hapless chap trying to hide in the group because someone had liberated his hat from the Nav block. SWO spots him from a 100yds, opens his window and bellows 'You sir, where's your hat'. Quick as a flash comes the reply, 'If I knew that Mr ***** I'd be wearing it!'
Last edited by Startrek3; 20th May 2011 at 15:02. Reason: speling mistak
Tankertrashnav, your wish is my command:
The late Michael Bates. In addition to his role as W/O Warwick, he also played Monty in Patton: Lust for Glory and, of course, Bearer Rangi Ram in It Ain't Half Hot, Mum when he was always being yelled at by the battery Sergeant Major, played by Windsor Davies - and commenting about "We British....."
Oh, all right then:
The late Michael Bates. In addition to his role as W/O Warwick, he also played Monty in Patton: Lust for Glory and, of course, Bearer Rangi Ram in It Ain't Half Hot, Mum when he was always being yelled at by the battery Sergeant Major, played by Windsor Davies - and commenting about "We British....."
Oh, all right then:
Last edited by BEagle; 20th May 2011 at 17:49.
At Rock Central in the late 70s working alongside them. Yet another parade had been organised, this time however we did not have the SWO. Instead we had a WO from Training Wing who's drinking exploits were legendary.
Cpl DKH was summoned to the front of the flight during one of the parade rehearsals. Said WO addressed me personally at 500 decibel level and in the spittle zone. "Cpl DKH there are those who can and those who can't. You are a can't, what are you"?
" I am a can't sir"
"Cpl DKH you are not even pronouncing it properly"
Another of his favourite lines, "When I gives you the eyes front, I wants to see them eyes come round like a pair of racing dogs b*ll*cks at White City Stadium"
Cpl DKH was summoned to the front of the flight during one of the parade rehearsals. Said WO addressed me personally at 500 decibel level and in the spittle zone. "Cpl DKH there are those who can and those who can't. You are a can't, what are you"?
" I am a can't sir"
"Cpl DKH you are not even pronouncing it properly"
Another of his favourite lines, "When I gives you the eyes front, I wants to see them eyes come round like a pair of racing dogs b*ll*cks at White City Stadium"