Mr Vice...........help?

[Murphy]

Mess Graces

Can anyone help me out with a decent grace for a dining out night????

[Top Bunk Tester]

Try something from the following:

http://entertaining.about.com/gi/dyn...680/gbm001.htm

Hope it helps

[Gainesy]

One which earned a mate a few extra duties:
"No Padre, thank God."

[BEagle]

Benedic, Domine, nos et dona tua,
quae de largitate tua sumus sumpturi,
et concede, ut illis salubriter nutriti
tibi debitum obsequium praestare valeamus,
per Christum Dominum nostrum.

[ORAC]

Good food, good wine, good god!

-------------

Oh Lord, who turned the water into wine
Forgive us here, but mortal men
About to turn it back again.

[LunchMonitor]

For those without BEagles knowledge of classical languages, a translation:


"Bless, O Lord, us and your gifts,
which from your bounty we are about to receive,
and grant that, healthily nourished by them,
we may render you due obedience,
through Christ our Lord."

Although I do prefer:

Spectacles testicles wallet and watch,
Thank the Lord for what we got.

[StopStart]

Good Bread
Good Meat
Good God
Let's Eat.

[Ralf Wiggum]

Heard some great Graces in various Messes, but the best, was given by my best friend who paid a little visit to the Padre and asked for some help. Went down a storm and was fun too.

If I could remember any of it, I'd tell you, but the port flowed too well that eve.

[MarkD]

best I remember reading was some kid who offered:

"God bless this bunch as they crunch their lunch"

Interview without amenities at the Head's office followed, apparently...

[Wholigan]

Rub-a-dub-dub
Thank God for the grub

[Kiting for Boys]

Bless us Sinners

As we eat our Dinners

[Skylark4]

Forty odd years ago, when I was young, handsome and played Bass Trombone in the Station Volountary Band, we were performing at a civvy fete somewhere near Bath and the good ladies of the organising committee had laid on a quite splendid spread for us in place of the usual few sandwiches and tea. We arranged ourselves around a well laden table and were just about to tuck in heartily when this irreverent little Sergeant unexpectedly stood and announced that he would say Grace. We all interrupted the progress of cake to cakehole and stood, somewhat sheepishly. He then pronounced:-

Lord,
Give us the grace
and give us the power,
to shift this lot
in half an hour.


We did.

Happy days!

Mike W

[Night NVG Goggles]

Here's to the food on your plate
Here's to the wine in your glass
If you don't like what we are having tonight
Well, you can shove it up your
Amen

[wub]

Dear Lord, we paid for this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing

[BlueEagle]

Thanks for bread and buttered toast,
Father, Son and Holy Ghost,

or,

We thank Thee for this piece of Cod
that passeth all understanding.

[extpwron]

Shortest one I’ve heard:

“Pa Ta”

[Tinstaafl]

What happens if you're an athiest? Are you excused grace-saying duties in the UK?

[Flatus Veteranus]

No Grace, but a post-prandial toast:

"Here's to the breezes
that lift the chemises
above pretty girls' kneeses
and show us the creases
that God gave to pleases
(and give us diseases
by Jeeses!)

[propulike]

At a Scottish friend's wedding -

Doon wi yer heed
An up wi yer claws
An thank the good Lord
For the use o' yer jaws.

[aytoo]

O Lord, we thank thee for these 'vittles'
may they add to our souls
and not to our middles