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Mr Vice...........help?

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Mr Vice...........help?

Old 15th Feb 2007, 20:35
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Good food, good meat, good God let's eat
However, I have worked on similar lines to that immediately preceeding my suggestion. (No bottle )
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Old 15th Feb 2007, 21:16
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SELKIRK GRACE

Some hae meat
That canna eat
Some wad eat
That want it
But we hae meat
And we can eat
Sae let the Lord be thankit!

Not by Robbie Burns but often used at Burns Suppers.
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Old 15th Feb 2007, 23:06
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" Lord, Bless this bunch, whilst they munch their lunch"
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Old 15th Feb 2007, 23:15
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"Doon wi yer heeds
An up wi yer paws
An thank the good Lord
fer the use o' yer jaws."

Also not by Robbie Burns.
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Old 15th Feb 2007, 23:41
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Apu's grace... (IIRC)



Good food
Good curry
Don't worry
Let's Hurry!

Brilliant.
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Old 16th Feb 2007, 00:39
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For every cup and plateful, may the Lord make us truly grateful.
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Old 16th Feb 2007, 06:17
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Grace

Through the teeth and round the gums
Watch out stomach, here it comes!

Last edited by A2QFI; 17th Feb 2007 at 10:31.
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Old 16th Feb 2007, 11:49
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Thanks for your help thus far guys and gals, some real gems coming out

MM
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Old 16th Feb 2007, 14:00
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Graces

Try the RAF Chaplains' Website (link below). There are some serious ones and some not so serious . (Some along the lines of the ones above!) You can always pic and mix. IMHO the best ones are short and sweet but funny.

http://www.raf.mod.uk/chaplains/publications/graces.doc

If you find a good one, pass it on - I'm doing a grace at my sister's wedding later in the year after I do their ceremony for them.
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Old 17th Feb 2007, 00:19
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Graces

Middle Mate
I said I'd get back to you after the dinner tonight. However the grace was fairly conventional apart from the fact that I noticed this green glow in the palm of his hand - he had it on his mobile phone??!!!!!! Nor was he embarrassed when teased about it.
The Ancient Mariner
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Old 17th Feb 2007, 17:35
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Ancient Mariner

you've got to move with the times old chap!!

In my defence, I had the phone switched off and used the PDA - it was a dining-in after all
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Old 18th Feb 2007, 21:09
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This is one I've used myself when asked as Mr Vice where there's not been a Padre:
Bless this food and those who serve us,
And from indigestion Lord preserve us.

Even if you don't use itI hope it all goes well.
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Old 5th Dec 2007, 05:29
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I have been directed here when looking for a suitable NEW grace.

The one I normally use and which is very good and can be adapted by changing the "golfing" to anything relevant on the night is:

Gentle Jesus so divine
Who turned the water into wine
Look down upon these golfing men
Who aim to turn it back again
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Old 2nd Apr 2011, 21:16
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Mr Vice...........help?

Hi guys and girls,

ive been elected to be mr vice at our squadrons disbandment dining in night and just wondering if you guys and girls could help me with providing me with information on what to say etc i would be very very grateful

Regards

Jamie
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Old 2nd Apr 2011, 21:29
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Be funny, and throw in a large pause before "The Queen". Happy to help!
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Old 2nd Apr 2011, 23:54
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Mention/don't* mention pink skirting boards, wandering sunderland floats or additions to painted numbers on Sqn roofs and that 206 is now the only remaining sqn number, albeit in a different role!
* delete as needed.
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Old 3rd Apr 2011, 07:11
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Crusader eh?

Search for Mr Vice on www.e-goat.co.uk plenty of advice to be found there as well....
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Old 3rd Apr 2011, 09:26
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As I recall the CESR syllabus, the only brief required by Mr Vice is to be able to repeat the toast(s) as propsed by the PMC. Anything else is siperfluous, especially additions like "God bless her cotton socks" as was heard on one occasion. What happens after the top table has left the dining room is down to Mr Vice, and the depth of his pockest!
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Old 3rd Apr 2011, 10:35
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Well done on the night!

....however comma the one to the queen's consort is always a bit of a mouthful and you aren't the first to lose track of it all. (Mind you, the PMC's jab of "get it right" probably didn't help you).

It was a great night.

The Ancient Mariner
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Old 3rd Apr 2011, 11:44
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Rossian,

Last night's Mr Vice biffed the toast to the Queen's consort! Other than that it was a fantastic night; albeit with a tinge a sadness at the approaching demise of our maritime capability. No pianos were burned; however the remnants of a a 'harmonium' can be found outside the Officers' Mess!

Duncs
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