Mr Vice...........help?
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Always a favourite in my very Scottish Mother's household:
The Selkirk Grace
Some hae meat and canna eat
An' some wad eat that want it
But we hae meat and we can eat
An' sae the Lord be thankit
Burns
Actually her version of line two was:
An' some hae nane that want it
fobs
The Selkirk Grace
Some hae meat and canna eat
An' some wad eat that want it
But we hae meat and we can eat
An' sae the Lord be thankit
Burns
Actually her version of line two was:
An' some hae nane that want it
fobs
Last edited by fobotcso; 18th Jul 2003 at 03:32.
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Interesting question, Tinstaafl. As an atheist, I promised myself that, if called upon to say grace, I would keep it secular. In the event, to my shame, I conformed and chuntered some pious banalities. I am, however, saving this one for the next opportunity:
"Oh gracious (insert name of supermarket or wholesaler here), we thank thee for thy bountiful gifts. Tonight we feast on generous helpings of food that were purchased from your glorious shelves. You graced us with sales on this leg of lamb for us to feast on, and two-for-one specials on frozen prawns. And we will try, in your name, to buy healthy food, so we do not succumb to the evils of the fat demons. For we know if we are wicked and eat too much of the chocolate tort we recieved, we will be under the power of the dastardly PTI for eternity. We must withstand Fat's temptation and defeat him with regular exercise. In (insert name of supermarket or wholesaler here)'s name, dig in."
"Oh gracious (insert name of supermarket or wholesaler here), we thank thee for thy bountiful gifts. Tonight we feast on generous helpings of food that were purchased from your glorious shelves. You graced us with sales on this leg of lamb for us to feast on, and two-for-one specials on frozen prawns. And we will try, in your name, to buy healthy food, so we do not succumb to the evils of the fat demons. For we know if we are wicked and eat too much of the chocolate tort we recieved, we will be under the power of the dastardly PTI for eternity. We must withstand Fat's temptation and defeat him with regular exercise. In (insert name of supermarket or wholesaler here)'s name, dig in."
Grace for the Atheist
Some say grace should be religious
but I for one, do not believe in Jesus
The reason we are all gathered here
is to wish (use name) well and drink his/her beer
so lets say farewell to our friend (use name)
lets fill our plates
and get stuck in
but I for one, do not believe in Jesus
The reason we are all gathered here
is to wish (use name) well and drink his/her beer
so lets say farewell to our friend (use name)
lets fill our plates
and get stuck in
Rent the Ben Stiller movie of a few years ago. Meet my parents or something like that. A rather funny one in there. You may get bounced from the table for it, but the stories you can tell...
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One that caused a couple of extra duties:
The Lord helps he who helps himself
But God help thoses caught helping themselves! . . . . Amen
Swiftly followed by thundering silence and hard stares
The Lord helps he who helps himself
But God help thoses caught helping themselves! . . . . Amen
Swiftly followed by thundering silence and hard stares
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Saying Grace
I have been informed that my Sister would like me to say Grace at her Wedding in a few weeks time and with it not being a very religious occasion (they are not tying the knot getting married in a church = Burn In Hell 
) I am struggling for what to say.
All my times spent at Mess functions I now wish I had written down all the classic Padre tails.
Can anyone remember any light hearted Grace speeches?
Thanks in advance
MM
) I am struggling for what to say.All my times spent at Mess functions I now wish I had written down all the classic Padre tails.
Can anyone remember any light hearted Grace speeches?
Thanks in advance
MM
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"Oh Lord who with thy power divine
turnest water into wine
Have pity on us foolish men
who try to turn it back again"
or
"Dear Lord
Give us the strength and give us the power
to shift this food in half an hour"
or something like this anyway!
turnest water into wine
Have pity on us foolish men
who try to turn it back again"
or
"Dear Lord
Give us the strength and give us the power
to shift this food in half an hour"
or something like this anyway!
Grace
I thought it was the Devil who had the tail - I can't think of any padre of my acquaintance who had one. Only teasing - I'll be at a dining-in on Friday, I'll make a note for you and post later. Will this be in time?
The Ancient Mariner
The Ancient Mariner
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Saying Grace
Two suggestions:
1. A Naval Grace, "Thank God! Amen"
2. "There once was a cock and a hen
Who gave lunch to a goose in a pen
"Good Lord" said the goose
"Bless this food for our use
And us to thy service. AMEN"
1. A Naval Grace, "Thank God! Amen"
2. "There once was a cock and a hen
Who gave lunch to a goose in a pen
"Good Lord" said the goose
"Bless this food for our use
And us to thy service. AMEN"
Last edited by BFLIGHT; 15th Feb 2007 at 17:21. Reason: too long?
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"for good food, good friends, and all the other good F's in life... we thank you lord, Amen".
or...
"rub-a-dub dub, thanks for the grub, amen."
or...
"Ta, Pa."
or...
"rub-a-dub dub, thanks for the grub, amen."
or...
"Ta, Pa."
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I always found this one had the right blend of humour and reverence...
"We thank thee Lord before we dine
For food, for friends, for laughter.
So may we feast and drink fine wine,
And still rejoice the morning after.
Amen"
"We thank thee Lord before we dine
For food, for friends, for laughter.
So may we feast and drink fine wine,
And still rejoice the morning after.
Amen"
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Just keep it simple. We say Grace for most meals. Something like;
"Lord, we thank you for this time of fellowship, for the food and may you bless us for today. Amen."
"Lord, we thank you for this time of fellowship, for the food and may you bless us for today. Amen."
