What was your most rubbish det so far?
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Another S**thole
Age: 51
Posts: 162
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Anywhere where we have been there too long.
SWOs and RSM checking hats, badges and sunglasses
RAF over-ranking which sees Sqn Ldrs doing an SACs job (badly!)
Inflexibility and ****e rules which mean you can't actually to the job you are trained and equipped for - which the customer can't really understand as you could do it last year...
Ivory Tower W**kers who make decisions based purely on saving money and jumping one rung up the promotion ladder.
But I have to agree with SPHLC - Karachi:-
The drive to the airport in the minibus - last one there got the JFK seat bu the open door!
SWOs and RSM checking hats, badges and sunglasses
RAF over-ranking which sees Sqn Ldrs doing an SACs job (badly!)
Inflexibility and ****e rules which mean you can't actually to the job you are trained and equipped for - which the customer can't really understand as you could do it last year...
Ivory Tower W**kers who make decisions based purely on saving money and jumping one rung up the promotion ladder.
But I have to agree with SPHLC - Karachi:-
The drive to the airport in the minibus - last one there got the JFK seat bu the open door!
I would have to say it must have been the Falklands - can't quite make up my mind which of the nine was the worst. But I appreciated how bad things have got since I left when a mate on 99 told me that they thought the Falklands wasn't a bad trip - because they got to sleep in a real bed in a real room!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere flat
Age: 68
Posts: 5,559
Likes: 0
Received 45 Likes
on
30 Posts
Thread drift: not a deployment but a diversion.
Bootlace seal in Shackleton propellor assembly began leaking, so precautionary into Colt. Result was 2 days stuck on the ground awaiting spares. Even worse was that we were wearing Goon Suits and PMC (OC Admin need I say) refused permission for us to use public rooms in the mess - we even had to take meals at a different time to the Mess Members.
Hospitality? Not here.
Bootlace seal in Shackleton propellor assembly began leaking, so precautionary into Colt. Result was 2 days stuck on the ground awaiting spares. Even worse was that we were wearing Goon Suits and PMC (OC Admin need I say) refused permission for us to use public rooms in the mess - we even had to take meals at a different time to the Mess Members.
Hospitality? Not here.
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Portknockie
Posts: 21
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Bicester in 1992 for a Projectionist Course. Really useful when you work in Flight Planning that. God only knows why I was sent.
Five days as the only RAF suit on a camp full of the Pioneer Corps. Barracks were straight out of the 1930's, the natives were hostile, the food was not bad but patrolled like the slop jockeys themselves had paid for for it .. "ONE sausage you greed crab ****" .. nice. Room door was kicked in two nights and a black eye gained from being head butted while half asleep. Took my life in my hands just going to the NAAFI for a choclate bar. Then fell foul of the RSM. No clue why, he just beasted me round the square for a bit. Uniform was pressed, shoes shined and beret was on. I think he was bored. Got my own back by zapping the nice shiny guardroom bell with an extremely crude sticker on handing in my bedding. Fatherless wastes of skin, blood and organs the lot of them.
Course was crap too, run by a guy who looked older than time and mumbled and drooled like a drunk toddler.
When I got back to Scampton I later found out that the course was "required" so I could operate the projector in the main briefing room. Which was never used. And on arriving back on the Saturday morning I found that I had to cover for Reds Flight Planning that day and Sunday. And on the Monday Sqn Ldr Ops, who didn't like anyone from north of Watford and especially not Scottish folk like me, tried to charge me for the black eye.
Five days as the only RAF suit on a camp full of the Pioneer Corps. Barracks were straight out of the 1930's, the natives were hostile, the food was not bad but patrolled like the slop jockeys themselves had paid for for it .. "ONE sausage you greed crab ****" .. nice. Room door was kicked in two nights and a black eye gained from being head butted while half asleep. Took my life in my hands just going to the NAAFI for a choclate bar. Then fell foul of the RSM. No clue why, he just beasted me round the square for a bit. Uniform was pressed, shoes shined and beret was on. I think he was bored. Got my own back by zapping the nice shiny guardroom bell with an extremely crude sticker on handing in my bedding. Fatherless wastes of skin, blood and organs the lot of them.
Course was crap too, run by a guy who looked older than time and mumbled and drooled like a drunk toddler.
When I got back to Scampton I later found out that the course was "required" so I could operate the projector in the main briefing room. Which was never used. And on arriving back on the Saturday morning I found that I had to cover for Reds Flight Planning that day and Sunday. And on the Monday Sqn Ldr Ops, who didn't like anyone from north of Watford and especially not Scottish folk like me, tried to charge me for the black eye.
Stornoway
To get away from West Drayton and hopefully get the posting of my choice, I volunteered for a 3 year posting there. What a bloody dump! The only thing that kept me sane was becoming mates with OC 112 Signals Unit/RAF unit, one Flt Lt John Parker,an eng off. Sadly he died of leukaemia about 9 years ago aged 51.
Strangely over the time I was there quite a few ex Herc mates passed through in one guise or another.
I remember a Vulcan diverting in with a double engine failure after hitting a cormorant. Did the RAF send something to collect them? Did they hell!The poor sods had to get to the mainland by BEA, Inverness I guess, and then by train to London and then back to Lincoln,(IIRC), all in their smelly rompers!
Strangely over the time I was there quite a few ex Herc mates passed through in one guise or another.
I remember a Vulcan diverting in with a double engine failure after hitting a cormorant. Did the RAF send something to collect them? Did they hell!The poor sods had to get to the mainland by BEA, Inverness I guess, and then by train to London and then back to Lincoln,(IIRC), all in their smelly rompers!
Worst Det'
Obviously my previous posting was as a result of seeing Stornoway mentioned; back to the thread.
Pisa November 1971; Low-level support Lyneham det;9 Hercs,25 crews,5 each from the 5 Sqns.
First sortie, a 9 ship with take-off at 0400 local,each a/c with 40 or so Italian paras to be dropped at dawn over Sardinia. 4 of the captains straight out of the OCU. What idiot had the idea of flying the most difficult sortie first I never found out. Instead of starting with day singletons,followed by night singletons; 3 ship day etc eventually finishing with 9 ship night - which would have been the logical sensible way to run a det'.
As we were reversing off the stand the loadie yelled stop; a troop of paras were marching behind us on their way to their a/c!
Eventually because the troops were late arriving only 6 of us got airborne. Take off was on RW04 followed by a right turn onto about 230 over the coast. First turning point an island about 25 miles away.Once on track I stood up and almost immediately there was a big red flash in our 11 o'clock. 'Someone's flown into a hill' yells my skipper, Geoff H, looking at me accusingly. 'We're over the sea,look at the radar,there's nothing there' says I.
We then realised one of the formation ahead us had either flown into the sea or had a collision. A radio check revealed that No 3 in the formation was not answering. We ploughed on,heavy of heart and completed the sortie.
Later one of the other skippers said that the dead captain had said to him,after the briefing 'I don't know what's going on'.
B of E decided cause could not be found; we, the lads,decided that the skipper, in trying to keep an eye on Nos 1 & 2 had got disorientated in the turn after t/o and with an inexperienced crew just got lower and lower until they hit the sea.
Suffice to say the Italian press had a field day; the RAF and we in particular were not very popular in Pisa. The deaths of 42 Italian paras,1 RAF pji
and 5 crew was so tragic and with decent planning, so unnecessary!
Some detachment!!
Pisa November 1971; Low-level support Lyneham det;9 Hercs,25 crews,5 each from the 5 Sqns.
First sortie, a 9 ship with take-off at 0400 local,each a/c with 40 or so Italian paras to be dropped at dawn over Sardinia. 4 of the captains straight out of the OCU. What idiot had the idea of flying the most difficult sortie first I never found out. Instead of starting with day singletons,followed by night singletons; 3 ship day etc eventually finishing with 9 ship night - which would have been the logical sensible way to run a det'.
As we were reversing off the stand the loadie yelled stop; a troop of paras were marching behind us on their way to their a/c!
Eventually because the troops were late arriving only 6 of us got airborne. Take off was on RW04 followed by a right turn onto about 230 over the coast. First turning point an island about 25 miles away.Once on track I stood up and almost immediately there was a big red flash in our 11 o'clock. 'Someone's flown into a hill' yells my skipper, Geoff H, looking at me accusingly. 'We're over the sea,look at the radar,there's nothing there' says I.
We then realised one of the formation ahead us had either flown into the sea or had a collision. A radio check revealed that No 3 in the formation was not answering. We ploughed on,heavy of heart and completed the sortie.
Later one of the other skippers said that the dead captain had said to him,after the briefing 'I don't know what's going on'.
B of E decided cause could not be found; we, the lads,decided that the skipper, in trying to keep an eye on Nos 1 & 2 had got disorientated in the turn after t/o and with an inexperienced crew just got lower and lower until they hit the sea.
Suffice to say the Italian press had a field day; the RAF and we in particular were not very popular in Pisa. The deaths of 42 Italian paras,1 RAF pji
and 5 crew was so tragic and with decent planning, so unnecessary!
Some detachment!!
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: South Wales
Age: 63
Posts: 729
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Decimomannu.......3 weeks every year.....what a dump!
Block 131 – corridors, water and skating/sliding at silly o’clock
Nags Head – Nuraghe…..old and new.
Deci wall and the more modern Deci path.
Tortoise heads – bread roles
Old American bar – before the Brits took over and turned it into our messes; can’t complain at that accommodation.
Dodgy barber down at the small yank BX.
German Bar – fabulous for food and beer.
Italian bar – On a Sunday afternoon, how drunk on amaretto coffee????
Poetto beach
Pula beach
Cags
Via Roma
Alghero
Corsica for the famous five…..we know who you were!!!!!!!
Deci Shifts
Midnight swimming in the pool near the roundabout and some how never being caught.
Bombead cannons made out of coke cans and OM11 cans.
If you were a spotter, the aircraft were fantastic: Widowmakers, Phantoms, F5s with Soviet Stars on and all sorts of others that I really cant remember their names.
I am sure I could go on. Deci….I would drop everything and go tomorrow if I could.
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: UK/Philippines/Italy
Age: 73
Posts: 557
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Andoya
Long story but summed up by cr"p weather, expensive beer and bloody cold.
Closely followed by time spent on the ground doing some training up north of Bardufoos.
Much the same reasons really.
Closely followed by time spent on the ground doing some training up north of Bardufoos.
Much the same reasons really.
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 1,966
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Angola - UNAVEM III?
Op Chantress, Angola - bit of a wheeze for the Brits in Lobito. Several S Americans blown up (IEDs) on the road to Luanda. In the capital, knife fights amongst the W Africans and some mad Near East Łucker giving it large with an AK caused a little death and destruction. The RTA casualty rate incidentally not far behind those mentioned above.
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Middle England
Posts: 546
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Got to be Basra in 2007 around the time of the Basra Palace 'withdrawal'. My splat map shows 763 rockets in the 4 months I was there. Not a pleasant place to be. That said as another poster pointed out the dets are what you make them. The thirteen months I spent in the FI were brill, good job, great people and fab scenery/wildlife.
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
Posts: 32,855
Received 2,809 Likes
on
1,196 Posts
Ahh Deci, if that was your worst, I'd hate to think what the others were like......
5 gallons of Deci Red from the pumps behind the German Bar, Drinking the same stuff..... waking in the night with a mouth dryer than a badgers a**, wandering down the hall lights off, getting as big cup of water from the fountain and downing it in one to find someone has replaced the water with Deci Red... upping it quicker than downing it.
Same water fountain after arrival, everyone goes down with the squirts..... no one knows why, replacing empty fountain water bottle to find late remains of a decomposing cooked chicken leg placed under the bottle by the departing squadron! Nice.
Trying to nick the F-15 detachment sign off an American Van at night drunk, opening another to see if I can find some tools.... found one, but it was attached to some US Airman going at it on top of some US Airwoman who was lying there eating Popcorn!!!!!!!! Think of an excuse...Think of an excuse...... Hi, have you seen Dave???? No she splutters, thanks I says and shuts the doors...... Two of the USA's finest members depart rapidly leaving behind said PopCorn, so leave with said Popcorn........priceless.
Meal down Cags, then all having a discussion if we should attempt to get on a Russian Ship in port to nick the flag of the backend..... Sense ruled.
5 gallons of Deci Red from the pumps behind the German Bar, Drinking the same stuff..... waking in the night with a mouth dryer than a badgers a**, wandering down the hall lights off, getting as big cup of water from the fountain and downing it in one to find someone has replaced the water with Deci Red... upping it quicker than downing it.
Same water fountain after arrival, everyone goes down with the squirts..... no one knows why, replacing empty fountain water bottle to find late remains of a decomposing cooked chicken leg placed under the bottle by the departing squadron! Nice.
Trying to nick the F-15 detachment sign off an American Van at night drunk, opening another to see if I can find some tools.... found one, but it was attached to some US Airman going at it on top of some US Airwoman who was lying there eating Popcorn!!!!!!!! Think of an excuse...Think of an excuse...... Hi, have you seen Dave???? No she splutters, thanks I says and shuts the doors...... Two of the USA's finest members depart rapidly leaving behind said PopCorn, so leave with said Popcorn........priceless.
Meal down Cags, then all having a discussion if we should attempt to get on a Russian Ship in port to nick the flag of the backend..... Sense ruled.
.. great times!
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Liverpool based Geordie, so calm down, calm down kidda!!
Age: 60
Posts: 2,051
Likes: 0
Received 17 Likes
on
6 Posts
Columbia - Mid 80s
By far the worst det ever was disaster relief in Columbia in 1985. We flew 2 Pumas from Belize all the way through Central America. It started great, Honduras was a breeze, Nicaragua was interesting as the rebels were shooting down helicopters at the time using US Stingers. Costa Rica and Panama were acceptable, then we arrived in hell. The officers and SNCOs were ok in the messes, we were put in with the conscripts and were treated as such. The food would have been rejected in a vietnamese POW camp and we were ordered to eat it so as to avoid 'insulting' our hosts, there were maggots in the food. We asked to eat our compo rations and it was refused. On day three, 2 of the lads were close to exhaustion as they hadn't eaten, permission for compo rats was refused again. One of the ALMs, who shall remain nameless (thanks Sweaters) distributed the compo against orders which caused hell with the det commander. I could write a book about other things that happened. I very nearly PVRd that year.
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Virginia
Posts: 16
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Detached to 16 MU, RAF Stafford mid 1977 to the DAC (Density Activity Complex), a huge horrible computerized warehouse full of small spare parts for just about everything. Arrived there on a Saturday evening to find nothing, literally nothing, on the station open except for the duty NCO who directed me to a TV room in one of the Airmens blocks where some w*nker was selling bottles of warm beer from a crate at the side of his armchair and 'loaning' blankets to sleep under.
I spent two miserable weeks there pulling bins out of racks and confirming the contents matched a computer printout. After one day of this torture we discovered it was funnier to confirm the right parts were in the right place and then move the bins to another location. It probably took years for the RAF supply system to recover from sending us there to help set up this wonderful place. The DAC was run by a bunch of miserable civvies who had been there forever and hated the influx of technology and the airmen sent there to "help" them.
Stafford itself was a dump and as I recall the whole town shut down sometime around 8 every night. Never seen so many empty pubs in my life. Thanks for bringing up the repressed memory of this nightmare.
I spent two miserable weeks there pulling bins out of racks and confirming the contents matched a computer printout. After one day of this torture we discovered it was funnier to confirm the right parts were in the right place and then move the bins to another location. It probably took years for the RAF supply system to recover from sending us there to help set up this wonderful place. The DAC was run by a bunch of miserable civvies who had been there forever and hated the influx of technology and the airmen sent there to "help" them.
Stafford itself was a dump and as I recall the whole town shut down sometime around 8 every night. Never seen so many empty pubs in my life. Thanks for bringing up the repressed memory of this nightmare.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: France 46
Age: 77
Posts: 1,743
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Brian48nav
Re your Post 46. The weather ship for the night stream assault was an Mk1 Andover of 46 Sqn flown by a very experienced pilot who had operated (albeit flying Spifires) in that area during WW2. He radioed back that the actual weather was unsuitable for a low level night stream assault. Tragically, no recall action was taken.
Re your Post 46. The weather ship for the night stream assault was an Mk1 Andover of 46 Sqn flown by a very experienced pilot who had operated (albeit flying Spifires) in that area during WW2. He radioed back that the actual weather was unsuitable for a low level night stream assault. Tragically, no recall action was taken.
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: WILTSHIRE
Posts: 41
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
'Worst det???
'24hrs+ at RAF Mount Batten with some very odd people who insisted on being really rude...'
Leon Jabachjabicz:
Thank you for reminding me of the rudest and most unpleasant bunch of people (permanent staff, that is), I ever met in an officers' mess. I was there doing the aircrew survival course in July 1987, (aged 58, and still going strong), and was still innocently under the impression that we were a 'band of brothers'. Never was I more disabused by the behaviour of the residents. What a shower!
LXXIV
Leon Jabachjabicz:
Thank you for reminding me of the rudest and most unpleasant bunch of people (permanent staff, that is), I ever met in an officers' mess. I was there doing the aircrew survival course in July 1987, (aged 58, and still going strong), and was still innocently under the impression that we were a 'band of brothers'. Never was I more disabused by the behaviour of the residents. What a shower!
LXXIV
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Scotland
Posts: 59
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Deci
SRENNAPS
Jeez was that you ? 
I remember being kept up all night by a bunch who had just arrived they kept sliding down the stairs using the doors ...all night long!
They thought it was funny until they were real busy and we were on end of det party !
You have to admit, when you are ankle deep in rubbish in Cagliari or sniffing evaporating poo outside Decimoputzu it ain't the best det in the airforce...now Akrotiri...that's different
Block 131 – corridors, water and skating/sliding at silly o’clock
I remember being kept up all night by a bunch who had just arrived they kept sliding down the stairs using the doors ...all night long! They thought it was funny until they were real busy and we were on end of det party !
You have to admit, when you are ankle deep in rubbish in Cagliari or sniffing evaporating poo outside Decimoputzu it ain't the best det in the airforce...now Akrotiri...that's different