Mrs Bloggs 'At Home' Etiquette/Protocols
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......... she would have made every window in the barrack block open if she had ever come on base. Luckily, Mrs MM had been whisked away Mrs Col. and was in a gathering of ladies, probably lining her up for a few positions on the local committees I thought to myself.
I was standing near the food table and the daughter wandered over. She obviously knew we had only just arrived in the village as she asked "My father said you were in the RAF, what did you do ?", to which I replied "I was a Fast Jet pilot", hoping that would impress her. She smiled and to my astonishment said "Oh, that's good, I was hoping you were a pilot and not a Navigator, my father warned me about Navigator's !"
to be continued............................
I was standing near the food table and the daughter wandered over. She obviously knew we had only just arrived in the village as she asked "My father said you were in the RAF, what did you do ?", to which I replied "I was a Fast Jet pilot", hoping that would impress her. She smiled and to my astonishment said "Oh, that's good, I was hoping you were a pilot and not a Navigator, my father warned me about Navigator's !"
to be continued............................
DIRECTOR
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I suspect that MM has not heeded our advice and suggestions given in good faith and because of that he has become a social outcast in this rural backwater and is too ashamed to come back on pprune and admit it
...you know the Harrier jokes, birdstrikes on the trailing-edge, etc, but I really, really wanted to be a Navigator."
Now I couldn't take my eyes of her perfectly shaped...
Now I couldn't take my eyes of her perfectly shaped...
>Now I couldn't take my eyes of her perfectly shaped...<
...prosthesis. Although perfectly formed, and at first glance indistinguishable from the natural shape of her gently flowing...
...prosthesis. Although perfectly formed, and at first glance indistinguishable from the natural shape of her gently flowing...
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Post Contact Report
Sorry for the delay gentlemen but an immediate post contact report was not possible because of the alcoholic haze induced by large amounts of champagne consumed..... And I was wondering how it could possibly live up to the expectations!!!
Actually MM jnr was poorly so Mrs MM stayed at home and I flew solo, eager with anticipation at meeting Col's daughter with no shackles. I was sadly disappointed to find two sons...... although the grand-daughter...... (sorry but I am an MM!!!!!).
All I can report is that a splendid time was had by all (see comments about large amounts of champagne). Col and Mrs Bloggs were outstanding hosts, and by that I mean one didn't see them until one's glass was empty, whereupon it was miraculously re-filled. This allowed me to monopolise a very attractive young lady with the most amazing blue eyes who had also recently moved to the village, and who was also flying solo, without breaking stride.
Which provokes another question of etiquette: if, as your eyes wander from a fellow guest's cleavage to her eyes and back, you notice that her trouser zip is completely undone..... should you subtly let her know or simply ignore it and hope she will notice herself?
Keen to follow PPruners' advice I made sure that I was not last to leave, and rolled my way home, sat down in front of the South Africa v Barbarians rugby and promptly fell alseep, much to the chagrin of Mrs MM.....
And again, following advice I have despatched a thank you note to Mrs Bloggs for such hosting such a splendid afternoon.
So, once again, thank you gentlemen for the advice, and for the humour!!! I hope that I managed to keep the light blue end up, such that I might get invited back next year... when the grand-daughter will be that little bit older....
MM
Actually MM jnr was poorly so Mrs MM stayed at home and I flew solo, eager with anticipation at meeting Col's daughter with no shackles. I was sadly disappointed to find two sons...... although the grand-daughter...... (sorry but I am an MM!!!!!).
All I can report is that a splendid time was had by all (see comments about large amounts of champagne). Col and Mrs Bloggs were outstanding hosts, and by that I mean one didn't see them until one's glass was empty, whereupon it was miraculously re-filled. This allowed me to monopolise a very attractive young lady with the most amazing blue eyes who had also recently moved to the village, and who was also flying solo, without breaking stride.
Which provokes another question of etiquette: if, as your eyes wander from a fellow guest's cleavage to her eyes and back, you notice that her trouser zip is completely undone..... should you subtly let her know or simply ignore it and hope she will notice herself?
Keen to follow PPruners' advice I made sure that I was not last to leave, and rolled my way home, sat down in front of the South Africa v Barbarians rugby and promptly fell alseep, much to the chagrin of Mrs MM.....
And again, following advice I have despatched a thank you note to Mrs Bloggs for such hosting such a splendid afternoon.So, once again, thank you gentlemen for the advice, and for the humour!!! I hope that I managed to keep the light blue end up, such that I might get invited back next year... when the grand-daughter will be that little bit older....
MM
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MM
Good to hear.
It seems our post action report was heading in the right direction
regarding the female .....................
By the way, what Regt was the Colonel from and were the General's in attendance ?
Good to hear.
It seems our post action report was heading in the right direction
regarding the female .....................
By the way, what Regt was the Colonel from and were the General's in attendance ?
OK, we've got that our of the way. Meanwhile:
..undo it with my teeth, like in the old days when...........
we used to practice with blow-up dolls in the crewroom. At this stage I was interrupted by the Col, who had his mate the General - who everyone called "General" - and he wanted to chat about "the raff and flying machines" !! As the daughter hobbled off, with me admiring her...
..undo it with my teeth, like in the old days when...........
we used to practice with blow-up dolls in the crewroom. At this stage I was interrupted by the Col, who had his mate the General - who everyone called "General" - and he wanted to chat about "the raff and flying machines" !! As the daughter hobbled off, with me admiring her...
Which provokes another question of etiquette: if, as your eyes wander from a fellow guest's cleavage to her eyes and back, you notice that her trouser zip is completely undone..... should you subtly let her know or simply ignore it and hope she will notice herself?
Well apart from the fact that we are clearly delighted both that you enjoyed yourself and that you have returned home safely (well, until Mrs MM reads your last post ....
), you have signally failed to tell us what you/other guests actually wore, and what you did with your outdoor footwear.
And, oh, the zip .... What indeed does the readership think - the cousins sometimes say "XYZ(ee)) as in "Examine Your Zip(per)", but there are masses of other options such as "You're flying low today", but which one would Blue Eyes have understood?
As a simple sailor, I might just have said, "May I help you with your zip (either now or later)?"
Jack
Well apart from the fact that we are clearly delighted both that you enjoyed yourself and that you have returned home safely (well, until Mrs MM reads your last post ....
), you have signally failed to tell us what you/other guests actually wore, and what you did with your outdoor footwear.And, oh, the zip .... What indeed does the readership think - the cousins sometimes say "XYZ(ee)) as in "Examine Your Zip(per)", but there are masses of other options such as "You're flying low today", but which one would Blue Eyes have understood?
As a simple sailor, I might just have said, "May I help you with your zip (either now or later)?"
Jack
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And, oh, the zip .... What indeed does the readership think
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500N
No Generals (or at least not that I was introduced to!!!), and to let slip the Col's regiment might compromise my identity, especially as I now find there is an AAC pilot in the village, who was there, and who may be a fellow PPruner.... It seems that should the MoD ever need to bolster the numbers in the Armed Forces, it need only come to this village!!
Union Jack
I was far too preoccupied with Blue Eyes to worry about what other ladies were wearing!!
Oh, and it seemed to be a shoes-on affair......
MM
No Generals (or at least not that I was introduced to!!!), and to let slip the Col's regiment might compromise my identity, especially as I now find there is an AAC pilot in the village, who was there, and who may be a fellow PPruner.... It seems that should the MoD ever need to bolster the numbers in the Armed Forces, it need only come to this village!!
Union Jack
I was far too preoccupied with Blue Eyes to worry about what other ladies were wearing!!
Oh, and it seemed to be a shoes-on affair......MM
I hope that I managed to keep the light blue end up,
MuscleMech,
re the above, this could be open to interpretation of an unsavory nature, particularly as the young lady's zip was undone.
Nonetheless, well over 400 posts on this single topic. Thank you for initiating the Thread.
O-D
PS Please note that we need to start detailed discussion on the return match. First problem could be Mrs MM finding out about the solo lady.
MuscleMech,
re the above, this could be open to interpretation of an unsavory nature, particularly as the young lady's zip was undone.
Nonetheless, well over 400 posts on this single topic. Thank you for initiating the Thread.
O-D
PS Please note that we need to start detailed discussion on the return match. First problem could be Mrs MM finding out about the solo lady.