Mrs Bloggs 'At Home' Etiquette/Protocols
Nervous breakdown
Skua is right, this has been an above average Thread - and with the post action report and subsequent analytical examination of same - has the potential to take us nearly to Christmas. Then, of course, there is the 'rematch' when Colonel & Mrs Bloggs get invited back to MM's for a little light refreshment. The form of the rematch will keep us occupied well into the new year!
However, I hope MM is made of stern stuff 'cause if I were he, about this time in the runup and with all that this Thread has exposed/discussed, I think I might be close to another nervous breakdown, worrying about it all.
I think I need an early evening stiffener. Cheers everybody.
O-D
However, I hope MM is made of stern stuff 'cause if I were he, about this time in the runup and with all that this Thread has exposed/discussed, I think I might be close to another nervous breakdown, worrying about it all.
I think I need an early evening stiffener. Cheers everybody.
O-D
If MM's really unlucky, Mrs Bloggs may well come looking for an early evening 'stiffener' from him! Then the problem arises of whether or not it would be rude to spurn her advances 
And who would have thought that a simple 'at home' could throw up so many potential hand grenades!
And who would have thought that a simple 'at home' could throw up so many potential hand grenades!
Gentleman Aviator
another nervous breakdown
Unless it's your 19th!
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I am quietly confident that provided all our advice and suggestions are heeded by MM that he and his good lady will not be making a faut pas of any kind at the " at home " and that they will both be firmly established after the event as the right sort of people to be living in said rural retreat and that both of the Generals in this idyllic village will be falling over themselves to be the first to invite the MMs to their " at home "
Last edited by thegypsy; 2nd Dec 2010 at 20:03.
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
Something we have missed chaps,
the handshake
Now MM is clearly well able to match the pongo crunch but must be careful in case it is a slippery fish. Needs to be aware of his hosts thumb during the "grip" as well.
and
the clinch
Careful not to overpower with Old Spice, MM needs to decide whether to aim at a cheek to cheek or a lips to cheek, and finally the cheek to lips if Mrs Col gets one in first.
In the latter case should he leave the tell-tale red marks or discretely wipe his cheek with his spare hanky.
the handshake
Now MM is clearly well able to match the pongo crunch but must be careful in case it is a slippery fish. Needs to be aware of his hosts thumb during the "grip" as well.
and
the clinch
Careful not to overpower with Old Spice, MM needs to decide whether to aim at a cheek to cheek or a lips to cheek, and finally the cheek to lips if Mrs Col gets one in first.
In the latter case should he leave the tell-tale red marks or discretely wipe his cheek with his spare hanky.
the handshake
Regarding the thumb during the ' grip' perhaps MM could ask the Colonel a few oblique questions such as 'who is his mother ?' and 'how long has he been on the square ?' etc
Walt
Can't help but feeling what a let down this could all be, when it is established that the "at home" couple are Walts
! Or shudder to contemplate Mr and Mrs MM are the only guests to turn up, being new to the village and all that, don't know about the interests of their hosts...... "bring out the gimp" 
! Or shudder to contemplate Mr and Mrs MM are the only guests to turn up, being new to the village and all that, don't know about the interests of their hosts...... "bring out the gimp"
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could
vernon, Mr & Mrs MM are no Walts, I know him. Secondly if only Mr & Mrs MM turn up, so what? I believe we have already covered car keys and huntin'.
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I'm invited to a Government Minister's house for mulled wine and mince pies next week. Will it be OK to discuss politics? Or is it best to stick with Xmassy subjects like one's new iPad etc.?
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Blacksheep
Clear off! This thread is reserved for Mr & Mrs MM and his predicament which is imminent and any advice for you could lead MM astray and confuse him just when it is all going so well for him
Clear off! This thread is reserved for Mr & Mrs MM and his predicament which is imminent and any advice for you could lead MM astray and confuse him just when it is all going so well for him
NO............
............ don't talk politics!! Presumably said minister is aware of your military connections/interests, unless you are being invited as 'husband of' and he doesn't know you from Adam (that's just Adam - not Adam Smith you understand).
If politics come up, I'd ask him how he is enjoying the challenges of office, etc but if he asks what you think of the Defence Review, have seven bullet points as to what's wrong with it and tell him how to log on to pprune where he can get the detail!!! My MP responded to a letter i sent him and all he could trot out was the party line and didn't seem to understand about 'capability gaps' , 'overstretch' or anything else.
You could always find out whether he had pay back any dosh and then ask him what he thinks of the new expenses regime - you won't get invited again of course!
O-D
If politics come up, I'd ask him how he is enjoying the challenges of office, etc but if he asks what you think of the Defence Review, have seven bullet points as to what's wrong with it and tell him how to log on to pprune where he can get the detail!!! My MP responded to a letter i sent him and all he could trot out was the party line and didn't seem to understand about 'capability gaps' , 'overstretch' or anything else.
You could always find out whether he had pay back any dosh and then ask him what he thinks of the new expenses regime - you won't get invited again of course!
O-D
Apparently Old Spice is making a come back State side amongst some women. They must be going through a retro phase or just like to date chaps who remind them of their fathers.
Something from Hermes would undoubtedly get Mrs Bloggs attention. Generally a bit more sophisticated and certainly not a run of the mill high street brand. Might mark MM out as a gentleman of taste and not one to follow the herd.
Or you could have a really hot curry for lunch, you know the type ... seeps out of your pours for the next 24 hrs and leave it at that.
As for discussion topics. Don't talk politics or religion, which means conversations about Northern Ireland are right out; don't even think about being funny with the comments about Orange mobile phone company and how they are getting on in Belfast (I bet they changed their strap line from "the future's bright, the future's Orange" for their NI campaign). However, if there happens to be anyone from the local council or an MP there, then feel free to talk politics, they will probably be glad for some ideas. As for sex, I'd let Mrs Bloggs or her daughter bring that one up first 
Something from Hermes would undoubtedly get Mrs Bloggs attention. Generally a bit more sophisticated and certainly not a run of the mill high street brand. Might mark MM out as a gentleman of taste and not one to follow the herd.
Or you could have a really hot curry for lunch, you know the type ... seeps out of your pours for the next 24 hrs and leave it at that.
As for discussion topics. Don't talk politics or religion, which means conversations about Northern Ireland are right out; don't even think about being funny with the comments about Orange mobile phone company and how they are getting on in Belfast (I bet they changed their strap line from "the future's bright, the future's Orange" for their NI campaign
). However, if there happens to be anyone from the local council or an MP there, then feel free to talk politics, they will probably be glad for some ideas. As for sex, I'd let Mrs Bloggs or her daughter bring that one up first
I don't own this space under my name. I should have leased it while I still could