SHFNI Stories!
Harry Secombe's bus stop episode was in the mid 70s.
A Wessex was tasked to pick him up from Ballykelly and bring him to Aldergrove. One of 72s pilots, dressed in scruff order, went along as an extra passenger. On the way there they dropped him off on some deserted hillside complete with a bus stop sign and 9mm. pistol.
En route from Ballykelly the crewman inform H S that they were giving a lift to somebody. They landed, after a short search, and picked up this bloke waiting at a bus stop. He sat opposite HS and they were on their way.
Apparently HS was getting more and more worried because this hitchhiker was acting strangely and was fingering what looked like an automatic under his coat. However when all was explained he saw the joke.
The pilot involved was not at all happy standing on a hillside with just a 9mm. for company especially not knowing precisely when, or if, the Wessex would be back. He survived and later on in civil life flew the Pope around and the last I heard he was driving S92s in Brunei.
A Wessex was tasked to pick him up from Ballykelly and bring him to Aldergrove. One of 72s pilots, dressed in scruff order, went along as an extra passenger. On the way there they dropped him off on some deserted hillside complete with a bus stop sign and 9mm. pistol.
En route from Ballykelly the crewman inform H S that they were giving a lift to somebody. They landed, after a short search, and picked up this bloke waiting at a bus stop. He sat opposite HS and they were on their way.
Apparently HS was getting more and more worried because this hitchhiker was acting strangely and was fingering what looked like an automatic under his coat. However when all was explained he saw the joke.
The pilot involved was not at all happy standing on a hillside with just a 9mm. for company especially not knowing precisely when, or if, the Wessex would be back. He survived and later on in civil life flew the Pope around and the last I heard he was driving S92s in Brunei.
One of our pilots lounging in his room in the, then, new portacabins. A knock at the door. It's a Works & Bricks bloke who has come to fix a blockage in another room and would he go along as security. Our hero goes along and sits on the bed to watch the plumber does his stuff.
The plumber undoes both ends of the S trap and carefully, as it is brimming with dirty water, lifts it up and pours it down the sink.
He looks down at his now sodden toecaps, turns to our pilot and says. "I'm sorry about that, it must be the Irish in me."
The plumber undoes both ends of the S trap and carefully, as it is brimming with dirty water, lifts it up and pours it down the sink.
He looks down at his now sodden toecaps, turns to our pilot and says. "I'm sorry about that, it must be the Irish in me."
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The U-bend incident was 1975 IIRC.
That would be before the hot summer evening which was livened up a bit when some abandoned belts of .303 began cooking off in a rubbish skip in Ally Pally. A mysterious event , which was then followed closely by a RR Land Rover screaming out to its post via the security gate , which happened to be closed at the time.
That would be before the hot summer evening which was livened up a bit when some abandoned belts of .303 began cooking off in a rubbish skip in Ally Pally. A mysterious event , which was then followed closely by a RR Land Rover screaming out to its post via the security gate , which happened to be closed at the time.
Last edited by RETDPI; 20th Dec 2009 at 13:20.
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Fareastdriver- good effort but there was much more to it than that...
Prior to departing Aldergrove the crew had decided to spoof Harry bigtime! Filthy Lu@ar (FOLA Ldr!) dressed as a Mess Steward and had a serving tray, bottle of gin, tonics, lemon slices, ice cubes, napkins and glasses. Another member of the FOLA (probably Tim J) was kitted out with a long overcoat, long woollen tricolour scarf, a temporary Ulsterbus bus stop, a dodgy hat and a copy of the Irish Times. They departed Aldergrove and deposited the spoof bus stop and dodgy-looking passenger on top of a sugarloaf-type 'mountain' en route to Ballykelly. On landing at Ballykelly the 'steward' hid himself in the radio bay at the back of the cabin (where the goblins lived!) and buttoned down the radio bay curtain. Harry duly arrived and was put on i/c. They took off and 5 mins into the trip Harry was asked if he fancied a G&T. "Yes please" replied a surprised but delighted Harry. The radio bay curtain was unbuttoned and out popped a pristine looking Mess Steward aka 'Filthy' and poured the G&T. "Would you like ice and a slice Sir?" "Yes please" says Harry hardly able to contain his delight at this unexpected pleasure. The spoof steward disappeared back into the radio bay and the curtain was buttoned and Harry sipped away at his G&T. Ten mins later casual aircrew chat ensued; "I wonder if there is anyone at the bus stop today?" "Dunno but I heard that the bloke they picked up last week looked a bit dodgy". "Yeah I heard that too anyway you can't leave anyone out here on their own so we'll go and have a look" They flew to the bus stop, cabin door open so Harry can see and at the bus stop is a 'dodgy' looking character thumbing a lift. "I think we'd better pick him up but I don't like the look of him much. If he gives you any trouble crewman just sort him out". Harry is all eyes by now! They land beside the bus stop the passenger boards the aircraft carrying the temp bus stop and the copy of the Irish Times and is shown a seat by the crewman and straps himself in. The look on Harry's face when the dodgy pax starts reading the Irish Times is priceless! They duly arrived at Aldergrove and Harry is thanking everyone when the IDs of the spoof players was revealed. He howled with laughter!! 
Great stuff - it ain't what it used to be that's a fact.........
FOLA - Flying Officer's Liberation Army
Great stuff - it ain't what it used to be that's a fact.........
FOLA - Flying Officer's Liberation Army
Last edited by Dundiggin'; 20th Dec 2009 at 19:17.
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Remember the Blobby load - painted pink with yellow spots
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The two Wx tailwheel dings on the east fence (STANO who became 2IC 72 and CO72 who became Staish RAFA
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Another Xmas Tree
Dec 92 or 3, can't remember these days. Tasked to fly senior chaplain for the day to greet the troops as they are picked up out of the field. Nice chap, quiet as a mouse and didn't bother us all day.
So quiet in fact the front end forgot he was there and decided to aquire 72's Xmas tree on the way home.
Dispatch plucky crewman of short stature with fire axe and he disappears for a considerable time before staggering back pulling a tree fit for Trafalgar Square. Having forced it in through the door and all the way back into the tail boom he squeezes in and plugs back in.
Conversation as follows:
Stupid. Hey xxxxxxx, I know you're a short arse but you didn't have steal such a sodding great tree.
xxxxxxx. I might be a f'ing dwarf but I've got a hugh c***.
Polite cough over the intercom
Pause
xxxxxxx. ooops, sorry Bish
After a quiet trip home he thanked us for an interesting day out; great tree though.
So quiet in fact the front end forgot he was there and decided to aquire 72's Xmas tree on the way home.
Dispatch plucky crewman of short stature with fire axe and he disappears for a considerable time before staggering back pulling a tree fit for Trafalgar Square. Having forced it in through the door and all the way back into the tail boom he squeezes in and plugs back in.
Conversation as follows:
Stupid. Hey xxxxxxx, I know you're a short arse but you didn't have steal such a sodding great tree.
xxxxxxx. I might be a f'ing dwarf but I've got a hugh c***.
Polite cough over the intercom
Pause
xxxxxxx. ooops, sorry Bish
After a quiet trip home he thanked us for an interesting day out; great tree though.
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Happy Bear
Quiet night and classic moment courtesy of 5 Regt:
On flight safety:
"I'm a happy bear"
"I'm a happy bear to"
"Another happy bear"
" This is xxxxxxx; this is a flight safety frequency. Out"
Pause 2, 3
" He's not a happy bear"
On flight safety:
"I'm a happy bear"
"I'm a happy bear to"
"Another happy bear"
" This is xxxxxxx; this is a flight safety frequency. Out"
Pause 2, 3
" He's not a happy bear"
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First of a few
Yeah get 'em posted matey!
XV728'A' on quarry lift out to the sticks. 20th October 1995. Note forlorn barrel in foreground. Apart from the short comms mast at left of Buzzard Cell / Ops roof, nothing remains. All demolished & rubble cleared c. 3 years ago.
Thus
Last edited by PhamousPhotographer; 23rd Dec 2009 at 18:20. Reason: To add 'now' photo
The famous Pizza Delivery service...DR only got so much because Fran would often deliver them...brightening up the bar no end...
The Banana House, all the Scalextric..
Almost knocking Daffy over wazzing an Island we'd dropped him off on in the middle of lower lough erne...got the photos at home....will post them post xmas
EESDL...had you been less of a work-shy-fop you'd have got more hours..stby for FLAK..
The Banana House, all the Scalextric..
Almost knocking Daffy over wazzing an Island we'd dropped him off on in the middle of lower lough erne...got the photos at home....will post them post xmas
EESDL...had you been less of a work-shy-fop you'd have got more hours..stby for FLAK..
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Phamousphotographer........
Excellent photog - brought back stacks of memories of the mighty Wessex. But I thought you were going to show dents in the fence made by the mighty ones? 
PS: Timely posting as it was '#72'!!
PS: Timely posting as it was '#72'!!
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Fence Dings
But I thought you were going to show dents in the fence made by the mighty ones?
Thread Starter
Thats brought back a few memories, Co. Tyrone looks almost picturesque!!??
Remember when the practice loads were iced on to the concrete - you pulled how much torque?!
On my first BBK we did put a "slice" in a hedge with the tailrotor!
I was looking forwards when I should have been looking backwards.
Well, a Puma NEVER did that, and if it did you were done!!
"Operating hazard" said OC72, so I lived to f**K up again.
"Gimlets" Op:
He had a rather nasty complaint, so they operated and laid a tube in.
Thus he lost all the "rifling in his barrel", sprayed everywhere and the safest place was, according to him, dead ahead!
Was in the bar when he rushed-in, all smiles:
"Ground run & serviceable, just needs an airtest now"!
thars moor!
lsh
Remember when the practice loads were iced on to the concrete - you pulled how much torque?!
On my first BBK we did put a "slice" in a hedge with the tailrotor!
I was looking forwards when I should have been looking backwards.
Well, a Puma NEVER did that, and if it did you were done!!
"Operating hazard" said OC72, so I lived to f**K up again.
"Gimlets" Op:
He had a rather nasty complaint, so they operated and laid a tube in.
Thus he lost all the "rifling in his barrel", sprayed everywhere and the safest place was, according to him, dead ahead!
Was in the bar when he rushed-in, all smiles:
"Ground run & serviceable, just needs an airtest now"!
thars moor!
lsh
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Photos
Brilliant! Keep 'em coming. If you need to know how to post photos then I think Beagle or Jackonico are your boize for the advice - Thanks v much....
Avoid imitations
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One dark Saturday night we were tasked to land at a very remote location, for a "local" task briefing, a place with a rocket fence and lots of wriggly tin. We shut down and walked around the outside tried to find the door; we weren't familiar with the place as we hadn't landed there before; it wasn't one of our usual places and wasn't in the LS directory. It was all in total darkness. We eventually found what we assumed was the door with some trouble, as we had actually landed on the opposite side of the compound.
One of us tapped on the tin door. No reply. We banged louder. Still no reply. We discussed what we should do next. While we were talking, there was a slight sound from just inside the compound's door.
"Hello!" said the crewman. "We're here to speak to the boss!" Next came the unmistakeable sound of a weapon being cocked.
"Er.... hello, er....whoa, hang on, it's the helicopter crew!" said our man
"What effin' 'elicopter is that then?"
"Er, it's the ** ****, we've come for the task briefing......"
Door opened slightly, to reveal one "with no rank insignia".
"Best you eff off home, then, the task was cancelled this morning! I thought you were someone else..... where did you park, I never heard a helicopter".
"About thirty yards away!"
We realised then that a 7 tonne helicopter can land silently (as long as the sentry is asleep).
One of us tapped on the tin door. No reply. We banged louder. Still no reply. We discussed what we should do next. While we were talking, there was a slight sound from just inside the compound's door.
"Hello!" said the crewman. "We're here to speak to the boss!" Next came the unmistakeable sound of a weapon being cocked.
"Er.... hello, er....whoa, hang on, it's the helicopter crew!" said our man
"What effin' 'elicopter is that then?"
"Er, it's the ** ****, we've come for the task briefing......"
Door opened slightly, to reveal one "with no rank insignia".
"Best you eff off home, then, the task was cancelled this morning! I thought you were someone else..... where did you park, I never heard a helicopter".
"About thirty yards away!"
We realised then that a 7 tonne helicopter can land silently (as long as the sentry is asleep).