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The RAF kilt, a warning to those posted to jockland.

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The RAF kilt, a warning to those posted to jockland.

Old 13th Apr 2009, 20:20
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Smile The RAF kilt, a warning to those posted to jockland.

On my first day at Lossie many moons ago now, I was doing my arrivals chit.

At clothing stores, I was measured up - they told me this was for my kilt size.

The stacker asked me to try on a kilt (a first time for me), they did some more measuring and took a photograph. I just assumed this was par for the course.

Unfortunately this wasn't a kilt, it were a skirt, but how was I to know!

That photo haunts me to this day, it caused no end of laughter amongst my colleagues.

Did anyone else suffer the same fate? Or do you have any funny stories that happened to you on your first day?
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Old 13th Apr 2009, 20:36
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Oh, Donlado. What reaction did you get on Egoat where you originally posted this?

As well as the 'Should officers do compulsory time in the ranks' thread.

Your two posts, copied from Egoat?

I think we should know.

Last edited by taxydual; 13th Apr 2009 at 20:58. Reason: Spelling poster's ID correctly
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Old 13th Apr 2009, 20:51
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As a young, keen and eager LAC working in POL at RAF Locking I was sent to the guardroom to pick up some K9-P that had been dropped off by a delivery man! Oh how my Cpl laughed as I opened the package back at Supply to discover a jam jar filled with yellow liquid. Could have been worse though, an LAC who arrived after me at Locking managed to get as far as receiving his ID-10T before he cottoned on to the joke. Are such wind-ups still allowed or is it classed as bullying these days?
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Old 13th Apr 2009, 21:24
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ID 10 T still perpetuates to this day. 2 MT had a bit of a 'dopey rogues gallery' at the back of their bar for a bit.
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Old 13th Apr 2009, 23:06
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Petrol Coupon Shotgun Run

First week at Gut and I was to go to Wildenrath (or Rheindalen?) to collect a stock of petrol coupons- remember them?

Crewman Ldr told me to go and draw a pistol from the armoury, 'cos of their high value. So i did. Someone had to come and get me.

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Old 14th Apr 2009, 05:24
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Or being sent to supply for some "prop wash"?

Or a box of "fallopian tubes"?

Or a 100' roll of "flight line"?
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 07:41
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There are many....

Springing to mind are the KD Greatcoat for ceremonial duties on Cyprus (in reality a brown storekeepers dust coat with brass buttons sown on) and the Warm Climate NBC Kit (with shorts). There is the oportunity to send the young erk to stores for a "Long Weight" - the SNCO asked them to sit "on that bench for a while" until they cottoned on.

However my favourite was the "mass spoof" of a course of baby pilots at Linton on Ouse many years ago. Their arrivals day programme was changed - at 0900 the course was at the main briefing room where they were met by the "doctor" wearing his white coat and stethoscope (in reality an air trafficer renowned for his practical japes). They were instructed to strip to their underwear and put on their flying helmets which had just been picked up from North Luffenham the previous week. The victims were told to wear the helmets for 15 minutes then their blood pressure was to be checked to ensure that the helmets were correctly fitted. Five minutes later, the Stn Cdr walked in to give his arrivals brief to the new young officers but instead found 12 nearly naked bodies as previously described. By all accounts he burst into uncontrollable laughter and left - at least his dignity was preserved.
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 11:30
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Nice one, although

"Unfortunately this wasn't a kilt, it were a skirt,"

They are the same thing aren't they?
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 13:13
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In the good old days of steam radar there wqas a tracker who kept a dot on an aircraft and drovi it around keeping it as close as possible to the blip. These were called "store dots" (I suppose 'cos the track was stored on the system or something, never did ask why).

One particularly busy period at Eastern Radar, we had allocated every track available. Someone sent the "New Boy" down to airworks to get them to open another box of "Store dots".

Oh how we laughed, simple folk, us Air Traffikkers".

Doc C
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 13:23
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We used to send an erk to stores for more Radar Paints.....
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 13:39
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Going to tool stores to get a 12 inch ruler to find they are all nicelly bagged and labelled as he has been told to send them for calibration...

Sending a young lad on a tour of RAF Odius with a Box of spares consisting of 4 household bricks and then phoning ahead and getting him sent on to a different section....... Nice if somewhat heavy walk for the afternoon.

Sending a lad to the medical section to pick up some bubbles for the clino.
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 16:34
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I was chatting with my Warrant one day when I totally lost the thread of the conversation and started staring over his shoulder. After say "Sir? Sir?" a few times he turned around to see what could so distract me from his pearls of wisdom, to see the 2 broken trainee gunners who were holding in the bomb dump in full NBC kit struggling with a voluminous, though seemingly empty, black plastic bag. After looking aghast for a moment, he said "Leave this to me sir" and disappeared after them to find out what was going on. It transpires the plumbers had told them they needed to take a bag of contaminated air to the Med Centre for disposal. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't turned up at the photogs' a couple of weeks before wearing respirators for their "shelter pass photo"...
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 16:34
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Taceval Marham....erk instructed to make red and black NBC flags, then sent to POL by the Sqn Cdr to get red and black kero for the NBC 'lights' for at night!

Young supplier (Northolt) sent to ATC dragging a 'Palletiser truck' to get his Airfield Driving Permit for said Palletiser...
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 17:02
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Young chaps used to be sent off to Admin at Akrotiri to pick up a Cyprus Railcard!
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 17:13
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Purely medical one this.

Newly qualified nursing attendant from Halton arrives at Ely hospital, after a couple of days on the wards, gets sent to stores for a Streptocage to keep Streptomycin (strepto - mice -in, just in case it's too subtle!)
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 18:17
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I sent:

An LAC to stores for a torque hammer

An SAC to stores for the vortex generator test set - storeman was in on it and gave him a test set, but said it only had the AC test leads and he'd have to go to one of the other squadrons for the DC test leads

And a JT to de-ice the windsock on a Sunday morning - he had to collect an extending ladder and a jam jar full of "de-icing fluid" (water) from the guardroom, walk down to the airfield and de-ice all the windsocks. We let him get about halfway before we called him back.
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 22:30
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A cold winters day at St Athan on Freshers Week at UAS, with several inches of snow lying. A new stude was asked to go and turn the windsock off at the end of the day's flying programme, and was duly provided with a key. Before the stude exited the building, he was joined by another, fabulously keen-to-impress bursar student, and both then spend nearly an hour in the snow.
When they returned, we asked what took so long? They had actually been to both windsocks to turn them off, and had dropped the key in the snow on their way back. It took them a while to find it!
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Old 14th Apr 2009, 23:28
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Perhaps not quite as inventive as some of the wind-ups invented by you light blue gentlemen, but I do recall notices appearing on a ship's company noticeboard asking for volunteers to train as either observers for PTAs or as splash target coxswains - apparently quite a few intrepid souls volunteered for both!


*** For the benefit of the uninitiated, PTA = Pilotless Target Aircraft
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 00:06
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I believe the Regt at RAF Bruggen had a notice on the board for volunteers to be in the Road Convoy to the Falkland Islands and got several volunteers..

The one about the Gas Mask for a pass reminded me, did some enterprising individual not hold up the Sparkase or Dresner Banks at Bruggen under exercise conditions and dressed in full NBC kit with weapon in hand and mask on rob the place, unfortunately he forgot to remove his name and bloodgroup that was taped across his chest in 2 inch high letters
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 08:37
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Originally Posted by NutLoose View Post
The one about the Gas Mask for a pass reminded me,
This one no joke, or perhaps an 'official' joke that serving Rocks didn't notice:

The Common Core Skills book had advice for checking someone suffering from nerve gas - cold clammy skin - racing pulse -

only problem was how to feel a cold clammy skin or measure a pulse when wearing rubber gloves.
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