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The RAF kilt, a warning to those posted to jockland.

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The RAF kilt, a warning to those posted to jockland.

Old 15th Apr 2009, 07:47
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Ah, the joys of sending new L Mech ADs off to stores for a new set of range rings for the radar....

In the days that LACs had to pass TAT (Trade Ability Test) 1 and 2, we managed to convince one keen young chap that a MENSA application quiz was the newly-introduced TAT 3. After an hour he emerged from the radar cabin we'd sent him off to sit the test in having made a not half bad go of it!
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 08:23
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Many years ago at an RAF base in South West Wales, the new course of students gathered in the groundschool. The "SMO" (one of the instructors from the squadron) told the students that they were to be part of a research programme investigating "Testicular Drop due to the effects of Excessive Gravity". The explanation given was that, as the course involved flights including prolonged high g manoeuvring, the RAF needed to know if it was having any effect on the family jewels. The programme would involve having their "amount of dangle" measured before and after the course so, if the first student could come to the front of the class and drop his trousers, "we'll get on with the measurement".

They fell for it and the first stude dropped his trousers and underpants and the "SMO" had the steel ruler next to his parts when the real SMO (female!!) burst through the doors with a camera!!
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 09:51
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Sending the new LAC to stores to get a metric adjustable spanner, only to have the little git come back with an adjustable spanner with a metric scale down the side. Sent him back for an imperial one though
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 10:44
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..... getting an LAC to stand on the pan, atop a set of A steps, armed with crash map & chinagraph during a torrential thunderstorm - to record lightning strikes on the airfield
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 12:37
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The scene is Brunssum in 1982 and an RAPC Cpl was besotted with an RAF dental nurse. She and her colleague persuaded him that 'T'Other Side' has perfected a weapon which homed in on white acrylic. Now ... the Cpl had lost a front tooth playing sport and therefore had a whitie-ish acrylic replacement. The nurse persuaded him that, in order to minimise the threat to him and his comrades should he inadvertently smile or yawn in a combat situation, he must be fitted with a DP (Disruptive Pattern) camouflage tooth! Not only that, but she persuaded the Dental Officer and the Dental Technicians at Rheindahlen to go along with it. The result was wonderful to behold - a beautifully brown and green layered acrylic false tooth. He was told he had to wear it for 24 hrs to allow it to 'bed in' and he staunchly did so, despite much ridicule as word spread around the HQ and unkind folk came to view his new tooth. He bravely insisted it was all true and necessary until a kindly RAF WO took him on one side and gave him a reality check.

The thing is ... it was photographed so someone, somewhere, has the photos!
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 13:18
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...also in Akrotiri, despatching the newbie to PSF to get their Soft Drinks Tokens ('cos there was a drought)

....and not forgetting the 'Malibu Palm Tree' by the Officers' Mess patio...
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 14:05
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Samples...

Church Fenton, late 80s and only hearsay (being from a later, more junior, course).
A new junior course of baby pilots wound-up by a more senior course. An authoritative, letter-headed note to each new trainee from the SMO; a couple of test tubes and test tube holder each, alongside all the books/kit acquired during Day 1 of briefings at BFT. Provision of a urine & a semen sample required for presentation at SMC @ 0800 the following morning.

Positive respondents anon !
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Old 15th Apr 2009, 14:43
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New ATC assistants were often sent to ground radio for the key to the rain gate (anti clutter device on the radar) or to sweep the glide path!! The engineers had suitable implements ready at hand.
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