Career cock-ups
Thread Starter
Career cock-ups
Having witnessed a number of amusing cock-ups at work in the past week, including Ops / MT not managing to get the snow & ice plan into action this morning (I don't think they had enough warning of snow this week - apart from the forecasts since last Friday) being one, I was just wondering if anyone had any amusing tales of complete and utter howlers that resulted in a lot of axminster shuffling coupled with barely stifled howls of laughter from the crewroom that will make the dull down days go that little bit quicker.
And here's your starter for 10:
And here's your starter for 10:
Last edited by Melchett01; 24th Jan 2007 at 22:18.
Avoid imitations
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times
Posts: 14,573
Received 419 Likes
on
221 Posts
It's not Blair's fault.
A big boy made him say it.
A big boy made him say it.
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Balmullo,Scotland
Posts: 932
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
When I was in the mob(many moons ago!) FLMs were being phased out and this guy I knew opted for a fitter course he went for A Tech E thinking the "E" was for engines when in fact it was for electrics needless to say he failed and eventually went on the correct course A Tech P as in propulsion.
What's a 'career'?
There was a lad who went through basic squaddie training with me, who, on arrival at Middle Wallop for groundcrew training enquired why the Army Catering Corps had so many helicopters?
There was a lad who went through basic squaddie training with me, who, on arrival at Middle Wallop for groundcrew training enquired why the Army Catering Corps had so many helicopters?
Last edited by diginagain; 25th Jan 2007 at 07:49.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: UK, for now.
Posts: 62
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Join Date: Jun 1999
Location: Suffolk
Age: 65
Posts: 97
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Following on from the snow and ice cock-ups, how about the JENGO who thought up the wizard idea of clearing snow off the pan with hosepipes at Leuchars, in January, before global warming had been invented and it really was cold in the winter. Then he wondered why everyone was doing Bambi impressions, complete with blurred legs. Best laugh I'd had in ages.
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: between a rock and a hard place
Posts: 218
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Career Cock Up
Joining the RN !!!! Biggest mistake I ever made. If you want to join an organisation that couldn't care less about it's people and ensures that no matter how hard you work, you get nowhere, then the Navy is the way to go.
Oh and sending e-mails to a few close friends that then go global can also be a career cock up! E-mail is evil!
Oh and sending e-mails to a few close friends that then go global can also be a career cock up! E-mail is evil!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Milton Keynes
Age: 62
Posts: 82
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Not flight related but a great story and TRUE.
Several years ago I wrote the software that runs BMW's car plant in cowley. Ever since then they have been trying to head hunt me.
After many carrots were dangled in front of my face I decided to go for an Interview, it was just a formality. 10 days after the interview I was phoned by BMW's personnel department who told me that they were very sorry but that I had not got the job. Confused and slightly miffed I forgot all about it and never called them again.
About 6 weeks later I got a very irate phone call from the chief engineer at BMW asking where I was. Confused I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.
He said.
"Its your first day and you have not turned up for work, everyone is expecting you, your desk is ready where the hell are you".
Now really confused I again told him I had no idea what he was talking about, the last I had heard was that I had NOT got the job and nothing had happened since that phone call.
He didn't believe me, even questioning if this was some kind of joke, he told me.
"You signed the contract of employment sent to you, its here on my desk, I am looking at your signature, you went for the medical and passed, we even spent ages discussing your starting date by e-mail, now its your first day and your not here, what the hell are you playing at" ?
Trying to calm him down he eventually accepted that I had no idea what he was talking about and had done non of the things he had said, I told him about my last conversation with BMW when they informed me I didn't get the job.
Now he was beginning to believe me, he told me something has very wrong here and he is going to get to the bottom of it. He said he would call me back when he knows anything further.
Next day the phone rang and all became clear. Here is what had gone wrong.
On the day of my interview another person was also being interviewed for a canteen cleaners job, it turns out his name was exactly the same as mine. They got confused with the addresses and as he didn't get the job he applied for they phoned me up telling me I had failed. The cleaner got a contract of employment through the post worth £50,000 per year plus company car and bonuses.
He went for it, he did the medical, signed the contract, argued about his starting date the lot, only to get cold feet on his first day.
After discovering the mistake they apologised, said they still wanted me but since the first interview had been so long ago I would need to go through the whole process again.
Nearly 4 months after the initial interview and after attending 2 further interviews and a medical and keeping them guessing for nearly 3 weeks I eventually told them I did not want the job any more.
I dare not go anywhere near that place again, I would be executed for sure.
Another story of my mate who applied for a job in an electron microscopy lab when he knew absolutely nothing about the subject.
This is a classic interview line.
During the interview he was asked.
"what do you understand about the interaction of carbon and cobolt in a gas when excited by high level alpha radiation".
his answer...
"Nothing but I am willing to learn".
He did not get the job.
Several years ago I wrote the software that runs BMW's car plant in cowley. Ever since then they have been trying to head hunt me.
After many carrots were dangled in front of my face I decided to go for an Interview, it was just a formality. 10 days after the interview I was phoned by BMW's personnel department who told me that they were very sorry but that I had not got the job. Confused and slightly miffed I forgot all about it and never called them again.
About 6 weeks later I got a very irate phone call from the chief engineer at BMW asking where I was. Confused I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.
He said.
"Its your first day and you have not turned up for work, everyone is expecting you, your desk is ready where the hell are you".
Now really confused I again told him I had no idea what he was talking about, the last I had heard was that I had NOT got the job and nothing had happened since that phone call.
He didn't believe me, even questioning if this was some kind of joke, he told me.
"You signed the contract of employment sent to you, its here on my desk, I am looking at your signature, you went for the medical and passed, we even spent ages discussing your starting date by e-mail, now its your first day and your not here, what the hell are you playing at" ?
Trying to calm him down he eventually accepted that I had no idea what he was talking about and had done non of the things he had said, I told him about my last conversation with BMW when they informed me I didn't get the job.
Now he was beginning to believe me, he told me something has very wrong here and he is going to get to the bottom of it. He said he would call me back when he knows anything further.
Next day the phone rang and all became clear. Here is what had gone wrong.
On the day of my interview another person was also being interviewed for a canteen cleaners job, it turns out his name was exactly the same as mine. They got confused with the addresses and as he didn't get the job he applied for they phoned me up telling me I had failed. The cleaner got a contract of employment through the post worth £50,000 per year plus company car and bonuses.
He went for it, he did the medical, signed the contract, argued about his starting date the lot, only to get cold feet on his first day.
After discovering the mistake they apologised, said they still wanted me but since the first interview had been so long ago I would need to go through the whole process again.
Nearly 4 months after the initial interview and after attending 2 further interviews and a medical and keeping them guessing for nearly 3 weeks I eventually told them I did not want the job any more.
I dare not go anywhere near that place again, I would be executed for sure.
Another story of my mate who applied for a job in an electron microscopy lab when he knew absolutely nothing about the subject.
This is a classic interview line.
During the interview he was asked.
"what do you understand about the interaction of carbon and cobolt in a gas when excited by high level alpha radiation".
his answer...
"Nothing but I am willing to learn".
He did not get the job.
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Close to ABIW
Posts: 105
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Many Moons ago at Brize Norton the SENGO 216 Sqn dictated that the Movers were no longer to operate the Tristar Pax Doors manually as they would probably cock up the checks and deploy the Emergency Slide. The only incident at Brize when the slide was accidentally deployed was by the self same SENGO!!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 268
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Nice one Ma'am.
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Ask OPS!
Posts: 1,078
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
How about the JATE ivory tower builder who penned the FLASH signal informing all aircrew that we to stupid to assess our own load lifting sites and that ALL load lifting and loadlifting sites were to be assessed and supervised only by a JATE qualified and appointed supervisor. Obviously looking for holiday destinations somewhere around the world.
This warmed our hearts as we were 250 miles out from South Georgia with 45 tonnes of dry stores for the army boys there, all to be load lifted as the ship couldn't get alongside and the stuff was too bulky for a boat transfer!
A quick signal back requesting that the JATE supervisor parachute in ASAP as our weather window was somewhat tight resulted in the original signal being very rapidly withdrawn.
Odd that? Isn't South Georgia in the holiday brochure yet?
This warmed our hearts as we were 250 miles out from South Georgia with 45 tonnes of dry stores for the army boys there, all to be load lifted as the ship couldn't get alongside and the stuff was too bulky for a boat transfer!
A quick signal back requesting that the JATE supervisor parachute in ASAP as our weather window was somewhat tight resulted in the original signal being very rapidly withdrawn.
Odd that? Isn't South Georgia in the holiday brochure yet?
A certain well known poster on PPRUNE who, some years ago, was sent to RAF Newton to do his Ground Instructional Technique Course. Three days or so into the 2 week course he attended the Bridge evening in the Officers Mess. He was (is) a passionate Bridge player but also a passionate Lager drinker. The two do not always mix well and it was not long before he told the female at his table that she was a stupid b*tch and a disgrace to the game (or words to that effect).
He was thrown off the course, and the station, the very next day as, apparently, the CO's wife did not like being spoken to in that way.
(Feel free to correct me ORAC)
Sitting in the crewroom at Buchan in 1982, we were watching Ascot on the Tele. In walks the Boss and says that his wife was there and had anybody seen her.
A young Pilot Officer, later to become an F3 Nav, replied 'I don't know, what's the jockeys name'?
He was thrown off the course, and the station, the very next day as, apparently, the CO's wife did not like being spoken to in that way.
(Feel free to correct me ORAC)
Sitting in the crewroom at Buchan in 1982, we were watching Ascot on the Tele. In walks the Boss and says that his wife was there and had anybody seen her.
A young Pilot Officer, later to become an F3 Nav, replied 'I don't know, what's the jockeys name'?
Ecce Homo! Loquitur...
He was thrown off the course, and the station, the very next day as, apparently, the CO's wife did not like being spoken to in that way.
I upset them that night when I found that the points awarded on the night operated on an interesting system of rolling them forward to subsequent bridge nights. The interesting part being it made it impossible for students on courses to win, the advantage to permanent staff being overwhelming. Since they charged for the night and had prizes I made a few pointed remarks about fraud and theft which...err...somewhat annoyed them.
No, what got me thrown off was something else. They had been pounding into us that you should never ask a question where the answer could be yes or no, you had to elicit information from your students. So when it came to my assessed lesson - I taught them the Speechless/HEFOE code. They weren't amused.
I did go back and do the course again though - when I was acting OC Trng at Boulmer. So I am, officially, a qualified GIT.
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Under milk wood
Age: 64
Posts: 61
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
CO of an aviation unit in NI who told the unit that the next person to go 'international' in one of his aircraft would be out of the Province within 24 hrs.
Guess who the next person to go 'international' was?
Guess who the next person to go 'international' was?
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: On the outside looking in
Posts: 542
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
S_H
No, believe him to have been at Conz when I was a bit further north. Which is why it may be an urban myth.
sw
Know this "F3 JEngO" well did you Safeware ?
sw