Caption competition

[Buster Hyman]

Well, I'm afraid the tape measure never lies. And, whilst we've caught you out on your exaggerations there Nutty, I can't give you the exact measurement because this tape doesn't do fractions.

***

Nutty could barely contain his excitement...the inside leg measurement was next!

[Kiltrash]

Pedal faster Doris, there are another 3m men coming through

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Yes laddie do what is expected of you and we wont be needing these Euro Measurements,
Who the hell wants to be a euro size 20?

[Danny42C]

You mean they actually measure you for your uniforms ? When was this ?

[SASless]

The old Army Tape Measure.....two marks....."Too Small....Too Big!"

[Buster Hyman]

Say. Who's that Sew & Sew at the desk there?

***

C'or...give 'em a uniform n they fink they're Hitler!

[Hydromet]

I didn't volunteer for the army, I was stitched up!

[nimbev]

Small waist, big ****, black wristwatch, nice mustache - you're off to the RFC to become a pilot my boy!!

[cattletruck]

HQ said I was officer material, and here I am.

[ShyTorque]

"Ah, young Mr. Peacock. One day you'll become a Captain and after this is all over, you'll serve in a TV comedy with Mrs Slocombe's pussy and some poncy bloke one who shouts "I'm Freee.."

[Big Pistons Forever]

Now that you mention it, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to post Sargent Bloggins to the clothing depot given his habit of reversing numbers.

[Big Pistons Forever]

The Germans most successful sabotage operation of the War involved infiltrating the clothing depot and subtracting 3 inches from the inseam of ever pant leg measurement.

[red zebra]

That'll fit behind a desk, off to Sandhurst for you then

[sikeano]

Any measurement must take into account the position of the observer. There is no such thing as measurement absolute, there is only measurement relative................blah blah blah.........

[CoffmanStarter]

[CoffmanStarter]

So your hat size is 6 3/4" ... so that'll be a 34" trouser then ... next !

[CoffmanStarter]

So you're Private Baldrick ... I've a feeling we're going to hear a lot about you in the coming months ...

[Buster Hyman]

Ahhh! No Laddie, I'm not measuring you for trousers...

[Fox3WheresMyBanana]

Early Fitness Tests

"Two inches over - give that man's rations to the Regimental mascot for the next week!"

[Surplus]

Sorry Sonny, but you can't join up until you get this tapeworm problem sorted.

[SASless]

"Buster sat at his machine thinking he has this one sewn up as well!"