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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 17:24
  #55881 (permalink)  
 
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"I say this life preserver says manual, I haven't done a days manual labour in my life."
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 17:31
  #55882 (permalink)  
 
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"Ok I'm hooked up to the winch chaps, You know, we used to have jolly japes on arriving at boarding school, but I've never heard of this keel hauling jape before"
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 17:47
  #55883 (permalink)  
 
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Coastguard cutter fishes an illegal emigrant on Wednesday from UK Waters and returns him to Dover
or
This should do UK and Iran's relations no harm
or
TV company ties the PM down to get what is his plan for Brexit
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 17:51
  #55884 (permalink)  
 
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I spent the day with the Royal Navy, learning how to combat the Iranian threat in straights of Hormuz

Ttfn
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 17:51
  #55885 (permalink)  
 
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Boris forgets where he parked his bike

Ttfn
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 17:52
  #55886 (permalink)  
 
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Trump looks forward to meeting the new PM, a lunatic like himself
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 18:12
  #55887 (permalink)  
 
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Daily Mail Headline.... The British President steps off HMS Asute to defend the Baby milk factory from the crashing aircraft
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 19:05
  #55888 (permalink)  
 
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Shout from the hecklers ' Don't give up your day job'
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 19:36
  #55889 (permalink)  
 
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This'll look good in the papers. I'm a dead ringer for Daniel Craig you know. B,b,b,b,Bond, James B,b,b,b,Bond.
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 19:41
  #55890 (permalink)  
 
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Originally Posted by ivor toolbox
I spent the day with the Royal Navy, learning how to combat the Iranian threat in straights of Hormuz

Ttfn
More likely in the Straits of Hounslow..
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 20:24
  #55891 (permalink)  
 
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It was later revealed that the Navy had accidentally filled his life vest with 100 kg of lead just as the lifting rope broke
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 20:45
  #55892 (permalink)  
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Phew! One heck of a pedalo!
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 21:01
  #55893 (permalink)  
 
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"As I said we will retain the nuclear deterrent and Ive always wanted to do this and relive the moment from my favourite film, Dr Strangelove."
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 21:11
  #55894 (permalink)  
 
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"I've spoken to Donald on the phone and intend to set up a playroom at No10, we found we both have an interest in train sets, in his case Amtrac and mine British Rail."



..

Last edited by NutLoose; 23rd Jul 2019 at 08:48.
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 22:04
  #55895 (permalink)  

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"Psst...does he really think you have to kickstart a torpedo?"
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 22:29
  #55896 (permalink)  
 
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"I tried to take back control, but they wouldn't let me near the rudder"
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Old 22nd Jul 2019, 22:34
  #55897 (permalink)  
 
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"Yes there will be a place for Jeremy Hunt in No 10, someone needs to feed the cat"
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Old 23rd Jul 2019, 04:32
  #55898 (permalink)  
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Helmet, stab vest, steel-capped boots... yes, I'm ready to get the keys to No 10 from Mrs May.
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Old 23rd Jul 2019, 04:36
  #55899 (permalink)  
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We took Jeremy Corbyn water skiing - he seemed to disappear when we passed just in front of the Woolwich Ferry...
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Old 23rd Jul 2019, 05:49
  #55900 (permalink)  
 
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So you'll just green screen all this out, and I'll look completely natural?
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