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Caption competition

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Caption competition

Old 8th Jun 2019, 22:19
  #55081 (permalink)  
c52
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Surrey
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Polar: "I can't open my gob as wide as you can, but my smile is a helluva lot better."
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Old 8th Jun 2019, 22:31
  #55082 (permalink)  
c52
 
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Polar: "Wait till you see my teeth."
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Old 8th Jun 2019, 23:10
  #55083 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hanging off the end of a thread
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"Hang on I just need to throw up this damned helicopter"
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Old 9th Jun 2019, 04:56
  #55084 (permalink)  

Evertonian
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: #3117# Ppruner of the Year Nominee 2005
Posts: 9,794
Nice try Frank, but that's not where they go for a Colonoscopy...
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Old 9th Jun 2019, 07:46
  #55085 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
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Polar.... You only have one passenger due to weight restrictions?
Atlas....Yes I just flew Kim Jung Un to his local McDonalds (other fast food restaurants are available)
or
I bet some smart ass makes a blow job crack
or
Having landed at Stansted it was a race to get offloaded fast due to increased apron parking costs
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Old 9th Jun 2019, 07:51
  #55086 (permalink)  
 
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Having flown the dental convention to London upon landing the 'Open Wide' request was heard from both planes
or
Now you know that aircraft are referred to as 'she'. they cannot keep their mouths shut and both talk at the same time
or
At least this way at 20000 feet I cannot have a bird strike on the nose, it just goes through the cabin and out the rear orifice
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Old 9th Jun 2019, 08:15
  #55087 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
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When 2 men talk it is all about sport
When 2 women talk it is all about how much they hate their partners
When 2 Freight Dogs talk it is all about their Strangest Freight
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Old 9th Jun 2019, 08:17
  #55088 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
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Phew what's that smell?
Well I just had the House of Commons on a 10 hour trip and the amount of bullsh!t they talk
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Old 9th Jun 2019, 21:32
  #55089 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 2,254
You know if we had studied that little bit more at school, done better with homework, not done drugs or girls we could have been flying the President of the United States round the world, been in nice warm hangers, get the best fuel and oil and had pretty flight attendants instead of hauling rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 00:36
  #55090 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: West Coast Canada
Posts: 3,492
Like most airliners these two have been named after famous people. Care to guess which one is President Trump and which one is Prime Minster May ?
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 02:09
  #55091 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: With hardship in an old Astra
Posts: 28
"... and there I was upside down in cloud, nothing on the clock but the makerís name..."
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 02:12
  #55092 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: With hardship in an old Astra
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"And for a laugh, I sometimes raise it this high coming in over the threshold... you should just hear the screaming on the flight deck...!"
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 02:13
  #55093 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: With hardship in an old Astra
Posts: 28
"Cadet Polar...! Show panels locked, doors closed and slats retracted... and wipe that smirk off your face... or Iíll 'ave you on Show Parades for the next month...!"
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 02:14
  #55094 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: With hardship in an old Astra
Posts: 28
"... well, I haven’t had mine out either... but I took a couple of pallets for it and the redness and swelling went down right away... look...!"
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 02:15
  #55095 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: With hardship in an old Astra
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"OK... but promise me you won’t use your loading ramp...!"
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 02:16
  #55096 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: With hardship in an old Astra
Posts: 28
"... no, laddie! I'd never trust a 'former' communist! Maybe the instincts for all the basic tools... oppressive control, bullying, state theft, and deliberate deception... will still be there... just hidden behind a veneer of respectability. Now I reckon, in years to come, they’ll ask why nobody clicked that Barroso, Moscovici, Mogherini, and even Merkel were all... oh, oh... here comes the Skipper, better look busy or we’ll get a rocket for standing around musing on Brexit, when there’s loading to be done...!"
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 02:17
  #55097 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: With hardship in an old Astra
Posts: 28
... so then on the parade at GŁtersloh, the Inspecting Officer asks Lofty: "... and how do you find Germany?"... and quick as a flash Lofty replies: "... oh, I turn left at Dover, Sir!"
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 08:04
  #55098 (permalink)  
c52
 
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Polar: "Hey, you, Ass Air - they missed an S out of your name."
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 09:31
  #55099 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 610
"So where did we go wrong, mate? Both ended up flying a cargo load of rubber dog sh*t out of HK"
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Old 10th Jun 2019, 18:56
  #55100 (permalink)  
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by andytug View Post
Hoskins was quite pleased with himself that he had caught 2 aircraft in the same picture was not prepared for the ' slightly out of focus' review he received
or
After the Formula 1 race in Canada 2 B 747's prepare to transport to France, one for the Mercedes team and one for Lewis Hamiltoms ego
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