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9th Mar 2017, 10:59

#41581 (permalink)

Traffic_Is_Er_Was

Join Date: May 2005

Location: QLD - where drivers are yet to realise that the left lane goes to their destination too.

Posts: 2,491

Q: Why are these 3 men in mortal danger?
A: None of them are wearing a hi-vis jacket.

9th Mar 2017, 12:31

#41582 (permalink)

Danny42C

Guest

Posts: n/a

"If you press it close to your ear, you're supposed to hear the sound of the sea !"

9th Mar 2017, 12:34

#41583 (permalink)

Danny42C

Guest

Posts: n/a

"It may be a magnetic mine - are you sure you're de-gaussed ?"

9th Mar 2017, 12:39

#41584 (permalink)

Danny42C

Guest

Posts: n/a

"Put it back - you don't know where it's been !"

9th Mar 2017, 15:29

#41585 (permalink)

NutLoose

Join Date: Feb 2006

Location: Hanging off the end of a thread

Posts: 19,162

Scoring tomorrow evening subject to sobriety

9th Mar 2017, 16:33

#41586 (permalink)

Penny Washers

Join Date: Apr 2003

Location: Upper Gumtree

Posts: 755

It keeps saying "Brexit means Brexit" over and over again in Theresa May's voice.

If it is the Brexit bomb, that means it won't go off until the end of March.

Last edited by Penny Washers; 9th Mar 2017 at 21:47.

9th Mar 2017, 18:02

#41587 (permalink)

treadigraph

Gnome de PPRuNe

Join Date: Jan 2002

Location: Too close to Croydon for comfort

Age: 57

Posts: 7,951

Nah, it's an Indyref MkII bomb, makes a lot of noise but it'll never go off!

9th Mar 2017, 18:57

#41588 (permalink)

MPN11

Join Date: Mar 2010

Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.

Age: 76

Posts: 6,123

Fred watched from a distance, giggling quietly. It was obvious they had never seen a Ballcock and Scrunge Mark VIII Bathroom Waste Disposal Unit before.

9th Mar 2017, 19:29

#41589 (permalink)

ValMORNA

Join Date: Jan 2014

Location: Stoke-on-Trent

Age: 88

Posts: 366

The Peenemunde boffins deduced that this was definitely not 'one of theirs'.

9th Mar 2017, 20:42

#41590 (permalink)

Danny42C

Guest

Posts: n/a

"I think it's the Creature from the Black Lagoon !"

10th Mar 2017, 13:10

#41591 (permalink)

Danny42C

Guest

Posts: n/a

"It's saying: "Do Not Resuscitate !"

10th Mar 2017, 13:52

#41592 (permalink)

MPN11

Join Date: Mar 2010

Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.

Age: 76

Posts: 6,123

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutLoose

"I reckon it's beyond repair, but British Gas will give you a £50 allowance against a new one, Sir."

10th Mar 2017, 16:58

#41593 (permalink)

Danny42C

Guest

Posts: n/a

"H.M.S. Vernon's on the phone, Sir - says can they have their torpedo back - it's the only one they've got !"

10th Mar 2017, 18:09

#41594 (permalink)

MPN11

Join Date: Mar 2010

Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.

Age: 76

Posts: 6,123

<<< Delete ... slow connection >>>

10th Mar 2017, 18:10

#41595 (permalink)

MPN11

Join Date: Mar 2010

Location: Often in Jersey, but mainly in the past.

Age: 76

Posts: 6,123

"Has anyone seen the rest of the aircraft/ship/submarineZeppelin? It must be around here somewhere!"

10th Mar 2017, 18:52

#41596 (permalink)

ShyTorque

Avoid imitations

Join Date: Nov 2000

Location: Wandering the FIR and cyberspace often at highly unsociable times

Posts: 13,104

"Are you sure this is that faulty tumble dryer Whirlpool wanted us to fix? Hang on, I'm just about to give it a kick"....

10th Mar 2017, 22:14

#41597 (permalink)

NutLoose

Join Date: Feb 2006

Location: Hanging off the end of a thread

Posts: 19,162

Runners up are MPN11 with

Quote:

"I reckon it's beyond repair, but British Gas will give you a £50 allowance against a new one, Sir."

Buster with

Quote:

Sir. Is it okay for me to get my Tie out from under it?

Pasta was very close to picking up the CS trophy with

Quote:

Ah, I can see why it didn't go off. Look, it's made by Volkswagen. Their stuff only works properly under laboratory conditions...

But I am going to give it to Danny with

Quote:

The Manual says: 'Light the Blue Paper and Retire Quickly' ......."I wasn't thinking of PVR so soon !"

Well done Danny

10th Mar 2017, 22:42

#41598 (permalink)

Buster Hyman

Evertonian

Join Date: May 2000

Location: #3117# Ppruner of the Year Nominee 2005

Posts: 10,853

:d:d:d .

11th Mar 2017, 11:29

#41599 (permalink)

Danny42C

Guest

Posts: n/a

Nutloose,

"My cup runneth over" - This is an unexpected honour indeed !

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Buster,

A bit too obscure for me. Explain, please ?

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

I am indebted to Geriaviator for permission to reprint this for you to do your worst with (sorry about the bits on the RH margin, but I'm not clever enough to remove them: