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Caption competition

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Old 25th Oct 2015, 01:43
  #32321 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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"Always remember, Gentlemen Lift the Seat - and damn' well put it down afterwards !"
 
Old 25th Oct 2015, 05:53
  #32322 (permalink)  
 
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Now that we've got George Osborne as Chancellor, this is where you'll be dumping your future careers.
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 07:05
  #32323 (permalink)  
 
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As Senior Executive Caretaker of the school, I thank you all for your applications for the post of Junior Janitor.

I 'ope you've brought your toothbrushes.
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 12:07
  #32324 (permalink)  
 
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... and for those of you destined for the Herc fleet, you can forget about such luxury as this.
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 12:16
  #32325 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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Elsans for ever !
 
Old 25th Oct 2015, 15:43
  #32326 (permalink)  
 
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Toilet bowl mysteriously appears on high street.
Police are looking in to it.
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 20:41
  #32327 (permalink)  
 
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Please, Sir, may I be excused?
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 21:04
  #32328 (permalink)  
 
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See this, luxury!
When I were a lad, we had to wade through six inches of snow to the bottom of the garden and then crap into a hole in the ground in the pitch dark. But you tell that to youngsters today and they won't believe you ...
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 21:11
  #32329 (permalink)  
 
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Right, now which of you toe rags nicked all the copper pipework?
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 22:13
  #32330 (permalink)  
 
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I've heard of it raining fish and frogs, but bogs? Come now boys, tell me the truth now.
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Old 25th Oct 2015, 23:10
  #32331 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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"I know none of you will have seen one of these in the 'netty' back home, so let me tell you how it works"
 
Old 26th Oct 2015, 06:05
  #32332 (permalink)  
 
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Look, I don't care if we have to stand here all day...
Now, I'll ask again - Which of you 'orrible lot glued the Headmaster's portrait in there?
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Old 26th Oct 2015, 06:44
  #32333 (permalink)  
 
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So, you lot want to be Officers in the Royal Air Force do you? Well, you'll have to get used to using equipment like this. There'll be non of this army style 'digging a hole in the ground and having a crap' nonsense - you'll be expected to behave like Gentlemen and use the proper etiquette.
Right, let's have a recap - you, Hoskins, which one of these do you use to wash your hands? Come on, come on, we haven't got all day ...
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Old 26th Oct 2015, 07:45
  #32334 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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"Hoskins, that tame blackbird of yours is not supposed to come to school with you - and especially not perched on your nose !"
 
Old 26th Oct 2015, 08:44
  #32335 (permalink)  
 
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We need a volunteer to sit on this and act as the target for a Reaper exercise.
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Old 26th Oct 2015, 09:06
  #32336 (permalink)  
 
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Chief Inspector Ballcock of the Yard didn't quite see the irony ...
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Old 26th Oct 2015, 14:06
  #32337 (permalink)  
 
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In briefing the Board of Inquiry, the Chief Sup explained as there were no Muddy Foot Prints on the Seats or Urine found in the Sink drains....in his opinion that would rule out any Rocks being involved.
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Old 27th Oct 2015, 00:58
  #32338 (permalink)  
Danny42C
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"All right, a joke's a joke, but this one's gone far enough ! If the missing Throne should reappear by tomorrow morning, we''ll say no more about it".
 
Old 27th Oct 2015, 02:07
  #32339 (permalink)  
 
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As it was a weekend, no regular staff were available for Induction Day at Cranwell, so it was left to the MOD Plod:

"Right lads, we know it's not Sandhurst, but well done on getting in anyway. Now, can anyone tell me what one of these is?"
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Old 27th Oct 2015, 02:45
  #32340 (permalink)  
 
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Glaswegian Police Cadet English Lesson:

"Crap; Crapper; or Crappest.
Which is it, lads?"
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